June's stupid life

Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and all the saints, help George Bailey.

That line above is from It's a Wonderful Life, which I saw last week at my old theater. Every time I see that movie I'm an It's-a-Wonderful-Life-quoting asshole for the next month. That line is from right at the beginning when all you see is George Bailey's roof but you hear everyone praying for him.… Continue reading Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and all the saints, help George Bailey.

June's stupid life

Emily Post-Christmas Rundown

I really need to stop adding someone's name to the rest of my titles. Christmas is over!! It was the first happy thought I had when I awoke. "It's over, Edsel!" I said. Eds was actually in the bed, resting on the other pillow, when I woke up today. Ever since my mother gave him… Continue reading Emily Post-Christmas Rundown

June's stupid life

Christmas Eve Plumb

I was doing my stuff (cleaning litter boxes) and preparing for Christmas (cleaning litter boxes) when it occurred to me it's a Monday, not a weird endless Saturday like it's felt for days, and that I should probably write you. Really, all my chores and outings currently are just an ends to getting to sit… Continue reading Christmas Eve Plumb

June's stupid life

Love languages

Tomorrow, Ima see my friend Jo, and it got me thinking about women and friendships and love languages and why I prefer men. No offense, Jo. (In case you didn't click on the link that I placed on her name, up there, in case you just stampeded along this post and picture Jo with a… Continue reading Love languages

June's stupid life

June’s major purchases

Last night, I went to our outdoor mall five days before Christmas. Hey, let's send this Hindenberg up. And other good ideas. I needed a calendar. I also needed wrapping paper. At said outdoor mall, there were literally traffic police in the road with whistles. Two of them, on one road, directing traffic. I ran… Continue reading June’s major purchases

June's stupid life

June speaks of nothing

Every day when I get on here, I open up the Book of June page, and in my version there's a white button in the upper-right-hand side of the page that reads, Write. (See below.)That's the button I click to start a new post. Every single day, when I click that button, I hear Nettie… Continue reading June speaks of nothing

June's stupid life

June’s humor continues to be modern

Do you wake up with dread? I do. Every morning. I have no idea why. But my first thought when I wake up is always, Oh good LORD, now what? If anyone just wakes up happy, I'd like to know your secret beyond, Well, I married rich. I've had a fairly chaotic week already. The… Continue reading June’s humor continues to be modern

In the kitchen with June · June's stupid life

In which June suggests it’s that time of the month for St. Francis

It's Sunday night. Does 6:48 p.m. count as Sunday night? In 12 minutes, The Wonderful World of Disney would be coming on if this were real life, because 1973 is real life and I don't know what the hell this is. Anyway, it would be coming on, and my mother would be preparing a Swanson's… Continue reading In which June suggests it’s that time of the month for St. Francis

I hate everything · June can't keep a man · June's stupid life

Mrs. June Butterworth takes her own sweet time

I didn't MEAN to steal breakfast, but I did. We had a thing at work where, if you brought in cans of food for the less fortunate, you got a free breakfast that they'd ordered in from somewhere. But, see, we had all these snow days and I literally didn't leave my house for four… Continue reading Mrs. June Butterworth takes her own sweet time

June's stupid life

Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto, you’re beautiful!

I never did make it to work after I wrote you last. The road in my neighborhood was too icy, so I worked from home. And, annoyingly, there was once again a ton of work. I literally worked from home. And that is why I'm writing to you on Tuesday night. I still have much… Continue reading Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto, you’re beautiful!

June's stupid life

June. She was annoyed.

It's possible I'm the most irritable person on earth. BREAKING NEWS: TSUNAMI CREATED WHEN TENS OF READERS NOD 'YES' AT SAME TIME. But something new irritates me and I want you to hang on to your hat. Meghan Markle. Stop it. STOP. IT. Oh my god, we know you're pregnant. Everyone on planet Earth knows… Continue reading June. She was annoyed.

June's stupid life

Please don’t say “Snowmageddon”

My eternal debate: Remove color-clashing alarm sign and risk death and sodomy so my house front looks better? There are two kinds of people during a snowstorm: Junes and Neds. When I found out we were getting a foot of snow, I was delighted. I got a bunch of stuff to make pumpkin chili, and… Continue reading Please don’t say “Snowmageddon”

June's stupid life

Special Snowy Sunday…Sost. I wanted to be alliterative.

St. Francis has a snow collar. Or a ghost is ass-raping him. One or the other. Happy Sunday! Merrrrrrry Christmas! It's snowing here. wat fuk? Depending on what weather app you look at, we're going to get anywhere from 8 to 194 inches. They're telling us to stay home, because while this is just a… Continue reading Special Snowy Sunday…Sost. I wanted to be alliterative.

June's stupid life

June and her ADD get ready for a party

Every year, at Christmas, my workplace has its annual holiday party. How much do you hate me for that redundant-ass sentence up there? I should really write a book. Last night was my workplace Christmas party, and yes they call it "Christmas party," as opposed to when I lived in LA and it was the… Continue reading June and her ADD get ready for a party

June's stupid life

Come and knock on our…oh, cut it out, June

Would you like to know what annoys me? "Overdramatic." You're dramatic. That's enough. It already means what you think "overdramatic" means. Stop it. People are also seeming to have trouble with their prepositions. I love the Long Island Medium, I'm sorry but I do, but in every episode, she says, "Before I begin I like… Continue reading Come and knock on our…oh, cut it out, June

June's stupid life

Important things June has bought lately (aka Prose hair products update)

Now that I'm not destitute --and could I take this time to once again thank the people online who said they were "so sick" of hearing about how destitute I was before? That was kind. You're kind. Be proud. Also, going on a website to complain about bloggers means your life is full. Yep. Anyway,… Continue reading Important things June has bought lately (aka Prose hair products update)