I never did make it to work after I wrote you last. The road in my neighborhood was too icy, so I worked from home. And, annoyingly, there was once again a ton of work. I literally worked from home.
And that is why I’m writing to you on Tuesday night. I still have much to do Wednesday morning, and I’m worried I’ll write for too long tomorrow and be late for work and miss my deadline.
To add to my angina, I have an 11:00 doctor’s appointment, so I really have to get my work done around that. I’m asking my doctor about that new migraine shot to see if I can try it. I called to see if I could just ask my doctor on the phone, but they were all No, you have to come in. THANKS.
I suppose I could have sneaked this all past you and just pretended I’m writing you on Wednesday morning. But what if I write my usual lighthearted and uplifting pith and set this to publish and then early Wed. morning The Wicked Witch flies through the sky with some ominous message and then there’s my post acting like nothing’s happened because for me nothing HAS happened yet but you wouldn’t KNOW that and you’d think I was insensitive.
“She never once mentioned that Dorothy is gonna have to surrender, not once in that whole post.”
No, I haven’t been smoking endo and sippin’ on gin and juice. I have no idea what’s wrong with me.
At the end of my work-from-home day today, I had an appointment to meet with the woman who owns my home, fmr. I called and told her I wasn’t sure if I could get out my neighborhood or not but if I could I’d be right over. Then I pulled on m’boots and trudged outside.
My front yard was pristine and I hated to ruin my snow look, but I did. It’s the kind of snow that has that layer of ice over top, so each step was
Oddly, my car did something I’ve never seen. This…dome of ice formed from the top of my roof to the front of my hood, like a snowglobe shape, and it covered my car but mostly didn’t touch the actual surface of my car. I got to pull the ice and snow off in large, thin icy chunks. It was really weird.
I’d planned to go out there and clean the car off, maybe warm it up, then go back in and change from the LUDICROUS ensemble I had on, which was fleece-lined yoga pants and a giant braless sweatshirt.
But have you met me? I forgot.
So I arrived at my old house
looking like an EEEEEEDIOT.
I rang the bell and thought, Aw, there’ll be no bark when this doorbell rings. And then
There was a dog.
The owner of my house, fmr., has a beige shaggy dog who is cute, and he matches the walls, because she painted everything beige. “This is the same color it was when I moved in,” I told her.
She’d had the horrendous shed removed from the backyard, which is good, and she replaced the attic pull-down thingy, which is also good because it was never flush with the ceiling and I’m certain leaking cold.
She replaced the terrible concrete floor.
I managed to take a quick photo of it while, yes, looking like an
a braless eeeeediot, but it looks better. I mean, of course it looks better. That goddamn floor.
I thought it’d be really sad to be at my old house, but I wasn’t. I did get to see my old tree, my tree, fmr., in the backyard, as opposed to in the bathroom or whatever. I told her how when I moved out, I held it together till it was time to say goodbye to my tree.
Anyway, I got my mail, and my Amazon box that had come for me, which is why I went there. All the mail was super-scary stuff that came to the wrong goddamn address and Dear Post Office, What was the point of telling you my address had changed if you didn’t forward stuff to my, oh I don’t know, CHANGED ADDRESS?
There were bills there dating from September. There was mortgage and new insurance info there. I got all sorts of terrifying things that I thought I’d probably taken care of on my own even without a letter, but I wasn’t sure.
I was kind of sick till I got home and went through each letter and called or looked online to make sure everything is copasetic and I’m not sitting here with an uninsured house or car.
Anyway, I guess I’ve adjusted to my new house, and I’m not as sad about leaving my old house as I worried I’d be. Today I saw my neighbor two doors down whom I’ve not met. She was out shoveling. She waved at me, but I only saw the tail end and by the time I waved back she wasn’t looking anymore, so now she probably thinks I’m a fucking B.
Now Ima have to walk back and forth in front of her house like I’m picketing till she sees me and we can redo the wave.
I guess that’s all I have to tell you, other than since I’ve been snowed in and didn’t go anywhere from Saturday through Tuesday I did my end-of-the-year video. I tried to sneak it onto YouTube because according to what it shows there I have ONE subscriber, so I thought who’s gonna know I put it there.
Apparently six of you in the first half hour. That’s who. WHO ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU CREEPING MY VIDEO?
So since six of you already saw it, here…
Talk to you in 2019. Or tomorrow. Whatever.