June’s humor continues to be modern

Do you wake up with dread? I do. Every morning. I have no idea why. But my first thought when I wake up is always, Oh good LORD, now what?

If anyone just wakes up happy, I’d like to know your secret beyond, Well, I married rich.

IMG_1006.jpegI’ve had a fairly chaotic week already.

The guy next door had a cat and a girlfriend. One is gone, and the other remains. He did not want the cat, and here’s the irony. When I moved in here, that cat was just a kitten, a calico kitten, and I coveted her mightily. She was so cute.

Then I got Milhous.

Anyway, the guy next door did not want the cat, and I’ve been deflea-ing it all along, and I’ve been giving him food to give the cat lately, but he was really looking to get rid of it. So on Sunday, I took it to the shelter for him, as he does not have a car. See previous mentions–mentions, prvs.–re marginal neighborhood.

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#%%&?!@

Oh, it liked to KILL me, taking her there. I mean, at least now she’ll get her shots, and she’ll find a good home, and so on.

On Sunday night, there was a knock at my door. There is always a knock at my door in this neighborhood, and does anyone have a cure for that? Because I can’t relax in my house for even one lunch hour or evening.

Anyway, it was the cat guy. He missed his cat and felt like he made a mistake.

So three times yesterday I tried to call that DAMN shelter, and they never answer their phones, and they never called me back.

When I got home last night, the guy next door was in my yard, raking my leaves with the guy in my hood who regularly rakes my leaves. I have a large tree. It takes two, I guess.

“I called three times about your cat,” I said.

He also doesn’t have a phone. See above re marginal hood.

“Oh, they can keep it,” he said.

So that was emotionally exhausting.

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mill howse feel sort of smug now. also, tows verreee cleen.

Also, I worked like a demon yesterday, a DEMON 404 error, and I had to dash home, get something to eat (leftover chicken pie and a spinach salad. I still fear romaine), and scream to the theater because Miracle on 34th Street was playing. I figured Ned would be there but I got to the theater a half-hour early because I knew there’d be crowds.

I live in a new neighborhood now, in case you hadn’t heard that, and I’m like Faithful Reader Paula when she was moving some years back and all of her comments were about moving.

Anyway, the point is, I have to take a new way to get to my old theater because I live in the opposite direction from there now.

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This is like my old photography

That meant I got to see our pretty depot, which always reminds me of when I took possibly still FR Laurie, who used to live here, to the train station early one morning. I took Edsel and Tallulah with me, and why did I do that? How obnoxious.

Anyway, Talu insisted on sitting on her and when she got out of the car, her entire pants were fur pants. I mean, she looked absurd.

You’re welcome! Any time!

IMG_1012.jpegI also passed Ned’s old apartment building. I used to show you those trees, there, when they were in bloom in spring.

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See? I act like finding this image was not Herculean.

This is like when you go to visit someone and they take you on a tour of boring things. “And here’s where I used to work. No, that building behind it.”

Anyway. Miracle on 34th Street was good, and oh! Look! I forgot!

IMG_1020.jpegSanta was at the theater! And he saw me! He waved! I had a total celebrity sighting.

I really have no idea what was up. My theory was he worked at Macy’s all day or something and just wanted to go to the damn movies after.

Anyway, I also saw Ned there, of course. I fekking knew he’d be there.

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The real miracle would be if I ever stopped seeing damn Ned.

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“Why do you always have to look like you’re headed to Cell Block H?” I asked, with my current references. Stay tuned for my jokes about tiddlywinks and sassafrass, consarn it.

There are Xmas movies at my old theater all week, and after a discussion about it in front of the theater last night, it would appear I will be seeing Ned at the old theater all week.

images

I don’t know that I ever actually even watched Cell Block H. But it kind of looks like Cell Block H was the Orange is the New Black of its time. Consarn it.

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do yuu honist lee think you funnee?

Anyway, that sums up yesterday, including the part where I had to kick 40 animals off my bed before I could sleep. I leave you with this…

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My LA friend, Cat, and her LA dog. Oh my god, this is my favorite Christmas card, ever. It looks Frida-esque to me.

Okay, I gotta go.

Liff,

Liff. Goddammit.

Liff,
June

41 thoughts on “June’s humor continues to be modern

  1. I used to wake up with dread in my head. Then it went away. Then it came back much worse. My doctor said it was likely a side effect of a medication, the fact that I just just stopped taking a medication, or sleep apnea.
    Going in for a sleep study soon but I added my old medicine back in and it went away. (It’s an anti anxiety med)
    I just thought the morning dread thing was a result of bad sleep or the fact that my life is a disaster, but she said it was likely medical. Any chance that’s the case for you?

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  2. I don’t wake up with dread but I do wake up every darned morning bluer than blue and have to make myself crawl out of that wormy dank hole. I don’t know where it comes from because once I get up and have my coffee and read Book of June I’m right as rain, hunky dory, chipper as can be. But night kicks me right back in that consarn hole.
    Great post, June. The photos are most amusing. I think that couple in the Santa picture are really from the next town over and are having a clandestine affair and thought surely they could slip into that old theater and sit in the balcony and nobody would see them. Is my life boring? Why do you ask?

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  3. I try to wake up with gratitude every day. Before I get out of bed, I list the things I’m grateful for, but inevitably, I end up being grateful for “not being that asshole Donna who pissed me off yesterday” and I’m off and running with the crabby.

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  4. June, choose your mood. When I am brushing my teeth I say “I choose not to be cranky because I am off to get a root canal” or “It’s a beautiful day, I choose Joy”, it sounds hokey but it works most days. My daughter and grandson lived with us for a year and a half. Neither one of them speaks in the morning and I was not allowed to ask questions or even say good morning! Drove me crazy. I often said “I choose not to strangle them” and I blame that control shit on their father! Thankfully he talks to me in the morning, so theres that

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      • HAHAHAHA! Judy Pogue is my name, I don’t know why it didn’t show up. I actually Laughed Out Loud when I read your comment. I’m sure that is exactly what my daughter wanted to do!!!

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  5. Used to wake up with dread but then I retired. Seriously, I just could not take it with the people any more. And I worked at home 3 days a week so only had to deal with them 2. Fortunately, I was in a financial position where I could retire. Now I can go see the lovely old Christmas movies at the old beautiful movie theater during the day!

    Nice writing and pictures June.

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  6. I do not wake up with dread. I did dread telling you this – does that count? I am not a worrier or a dreader or a fretter. I’m not sure why. My husband is a carrier – he constantly tries to get me to worry about things so he doesn’t have to. Not happening.

    Oh your neighbor is a real winner. No cat for him. Or pussy either, it appears. But he was raking your leaves – is that like his hobby or something?

    I would love love love to see old Christmas movies in the actual movie theater. We don’t have cool stuff like that here.

    Lovely post lovely June! I hurt myself snorting quietly. They frown upon loud snorting at work – BAH HUMBUG!

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  7. I started watching Miracle on 34th Street streaming online, and it just wasn’t the same. In a theater would bring more magic. I will still finish — I save Christmas movies to watch while I bake for neighbor gifts. Well, maybe that is my problem. I need to sit down to really watch.

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  8. I’m married to one of those pop up all chipper & talkative types. He still lives, so you all know I’m a saint. I was having lots of wake-up dread but now that he who shall not be named chickens are coming home to roost, I’m feeling better. Having your not-blog to read with my morning coffee has exponentially improved my morning mood.

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    • My husband wakes up and starts talking immediately making me want to kill him most days. You would think after 22 years he would learn to leave me alone in the morning.

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      • Jesus, so my husband is not the only yakkity-yak-yakker first thing in the morning? He’s learned not to do it to me anymore — or is it that I close the bedroom door so he doesn’t bother; yeah I guess that’s it, otherwise I’d have to listen to all the fascinating hoopla he’s discovered on Facebook while trying not to chew his head off — but as soon as he thinks anyone’s out of bed anywhere he’ll get on the phone so he can hear himself talk. There needs to be a morning chitchat club for people like that.-Kate

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      • My ex used lto love to wake me up at an ungodly hour, yelling, “Wake up! You;re burning daylight!”
        He thought it was cute. I didn’t. Yeah, One of the many reasons he’s an ex.

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        • Tried to subtract the L in ‘to’ above but it wouldn’t let me. Either that or I should put on my glasses. Have stupid-finger today.

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  9. Lovely post, Coot. (I forgot what we are supposed to say now. Is it, “Lovely a$$, June”?)

    Miracle on 34th Street is one of my favorite Christmas movies and one of the first ones we watched this season.

    I don’t even know what to say about your neighbor and his wishy-washy attitude about the cat. Like you needed the extra drama. Hope sweet kitty gets a loving home.

    I started to comment yesterday, but work got in the way. And, no, I never wake up with dread. I normally wake up with SadieDog staring at me so I’ll get up and take her for her walk.

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  10. “Oh, they can keep it”??? He doesn’t deserve that cat and you are very strong for doing the right thing by taking it to the shelter. Hopefully it will get a good home and live happily ever after.

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  11. First and foremost: Go and get that cat and put your stupid neighbor in the shelter instead. Her bitty African American chin!! I can’t stand it. He’s an ass. I don’t care about his circumstances, he’s an ASS.

    Second and foremoster: (What comes after foremost? Fivemost?) Anyway, would you believe that I moved EIGHT AND A HALF years ago?

    Third and … never mind. When I wake up, my first thought is, “what was I worrying about yesterday?” so I can immediately jump on that fret bandwagon and get right back to worrying. And that, my friend is a dark side. Name that movie.

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  12. Maybe there is a reason you couldn’t reach the shelter, neighbor doesn’t need an animal. No car, no phone? DUIs, lost license?? I hope sweet kitty finds a good home.

    Melissa, if you have EAP services, use them.

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  13. I also wake up with dread. Unspecified dread, usually, so I end up sitting there thinking through all the possibilities of horrible things that could be about to happen. Someone told me this is caused by something sciencey to do with hormone levels and sleep and adrenaline surges or something. I figure it just goes along with being a generally pessimistic, anxious person.

    Your friend Cat’s holiday picture reminds me of President Obama’s official portrait. (Our good president—fmr. Can’t imagine why we wake up with dread.)

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    • Well thank you for that. Sincerely. I have a hormone inblance and I can blame it on that and it makes me feel so much better!

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    • I’m not depressed or anxious but do wake up feeling kinda like oh shit (and quickly remind myself that All is Well in My World, I AM Happy and Healthy), which is why I’m reading all these comments to see if this is common, and apparently it is! But I didn’t know it had to do with hormone levels and adrenaline surges and this kind of gives me comfort. Thank you! -Kate

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  14. Your mentioning tiddlywinks and sassafras reminded me that I heard someone using the word “coinkydink” NOT ironically the other day. A friend’s husband, as a matter of fact. I mentioned this to a mutual acquaintance, who reminded me that this guy has also been known to wear bowties on occasion.

    My point being, aliens walk among us. And they’re not very up-to-date on how to blend in.

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    • A few of my son’s 22 year-old friends wear bowties. It’s quite the hipster thing now. Occasionally, they toss around the word “janky” but I’m not sure if that is old-timey or not.

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  15. I wake up with dread a lot lately. I feel like I’m losing control at work. There’s some staffing issues and I don’t want to put in any more hours. I know it sounds lazy, but I worked for years working long hours and more than one job. All I want is less time at work! To top it off there’s one person I work with that is rude. I try not to take it personally because she’s that way with everyone, but I feel like the more I ignore her the more she tries to poke to bear. I’m usually fuming inside by the end of the day. I feel like I need to find someone to talk about this. I’m thinking of going to see an EAP therapist.

    I’d rather deal with cats and dogs all day than people!

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    • A former retail co-worker left and became a dog groomer because she hated people so much. She ended up a great deal happier.

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      • I’m seriously looking at finding something where I don’t have to talk to people. I’m a nurse and I like what I do, but I’m sick of all the personalities. I’ve been getting myself out of debt so I can have more control over my work schedule.

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    • My daughter was a lifeguard for several years and never felt like she fit there. In January she decided she wasn’t going back (easy to do when you’re 17 and still living at home). A few months laster she got a job at a doggie daycare and loves it. She’s using all those skills she learned teaching swimming to whip those doggies into shape. I envy her courage…I would have just stayed at the miserable job because I am so risk averse.

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