Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and all the saints, help George Bailey.

/ June

That line above is from It’s a Wonderful Life, which I saw last week at my old theater. Every time I see that movie I’m an It’s-a-Wonderful-Life-quoting asshole for the next month. That line is from right at the beginning when all you see is George Bailey’s roof but you hear everyone praying for him.

I suppose the person saying that line is Martini the bartender, and with a name like that, what vocational choice did he have, really? I guess he could have worked at a factory that stuffs pimentos into olives.

Who decided that was a must, anyway? Was there some kind of pimento lobby? It’s like the only place pimentos ever go, really. It’s the only place pimentos get any work. No one has a pimento soup or a pimento…martini.

Anyway, once old Martini the bartender sent that prayer up to Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the saints, do you suppose they were all, “Yeah. I gotta transfer you to my supervisor. Wrong extension, there, Bub”?

When you get transferred in heaven, do you suppose the hold music is just some old-timey hymn or maybe a little Foghat? Maybe some Hocus Pocus by Focus.

Once Marvin and I were in the car with another couple, and he had his guitar–which, why? Anyway, he started playing Hocus Pocus and I did the yodeling and why didn’t we have more couple friends, I wonder.

Hello. Welcome to my brain.

It’s 6:22 a.m. and I’m up, I’ve BEEN up, because I had a migraine for THIRTY-SIX HOURS this weekend. I’m writing you with no food in me and my first coffee since about nineteen aught seven.

And it wasn’t just a migraine that took up my entire Sunday. No. It was a migraine with nausea, then really bad GERD due to my migraine pills, and then also panic attacks each moment I was awake. I was alternately covered in sweat or freezing and my thoughts were race race racing.

It was relaxing.

I’ll tell you who’s a good boy, though. Edsel never left me. I had to mince up once, to feed him in the morning, and mince up again to feed him at night, and once during the middle of the day I forced him to go out and pee. He really wasn’t going to go. He kept looking outside but then back at me. “Eds, I won’t die if you go out for a minute,” I moaned at him, hunched and sweaty.

He didn’t quite believe me, and I didn’t quite believe me.

Anyway, seeing as I slept fitfully from 7:00 Saturday night till 5:30 this morning, I’d say I got my rest. And Edsel had a delightful 20 minutes running outside in the dark already this morning.

Thanks for all your nice words about Iris. I can’t even think of her sweet face yet. I can’t.

And by the way, when I wasn’t grieving or having migraines, I did manage to go to some more places in town I’ve never been, per my deal with self.

One place I’ve always wanted to go was this pharmacy quite near me that I know had a soda fountain but I’d never gone in to see it. I finally went in and saw it! They had Old Spice for $3, which I desperately wanted to buy, but I did get some cotton pads, as SOME YELLOW ASSFACE kitten took all of my current cotton pads, cotton pads, crnt., and splayed them across my bathroom floor.

I also have these six natural-fiber washcloths my Aunt Mary got me for Christmas–they’re supposed to be excellent for removing makeup. Anyway, I washed then folded them all and put them in a cubby in my bathroom, which has a whole wall of little cubbyholes.

Cubbies. Also, while I was in there photographing that for you, I heard…

…commotion, which was Milhous hiding in the shower curtain to torment Edsel. I will be needing a new shower curtain once he’s an adult, or once I take him to the pound, whichever comes first.

This morning when I finally emerged from my sickroom, it was a little treasure hunt of natural-fiber washcloths all across my house. Milhous had taken them all down and apparently carried them about like prey.

Anyway, my point is, I am seriously considering switching kittens/pharmacies now to the old-timey soda fountain one. First of all, it’s a lot closer and secondly, I can sit at the counter like I’m Violet Bick in It’s a Wonderful Life.

Let me tell you something: I will always be on the side of the over-the-top blonde when there’s a no-nonsense brunette to contend with. No-nonsense brunettes tire me.

I also went to a new resale shop, to benefit hospice, as a neighbor told me the stuff in there is “too nice” and she wouldn’t be back. This appealed to my narcissism and I headed there posthaste.

They really did have some hoity-toity stuff in there. I kind of liked this end table.

So that sums up the rest of my time off, and what a way to end it. Tonight there’s a big NYE party at the B&B my friends own, and it’s The Poet’s birthday, and I’d invited her to go to said party but now I don’t know how I’ll be feeling. I hate migraines ruining my life.

I leave you with my end-of-the-year video, which I showed you a few weeks ago but now it’s really actually the end of the year, so…

Talk to you next year. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wooo.

P.S. What should my New Year’s resolution be?

62 thoughts on “Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and all the saints, help George Bailey.”

  1. I’m very late to this party but I just wanted to say, my best friend is an over the top blonde and I am a no-nonsense brunette. We are each other’s favorite person – she brings out my inner gypsy and I bring out her inner librarian. See? We can coexist peacefully!

    Side note: I’ve always loved Violet Bick.

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  2. I voted for the exercise… when I was going 4-5 times a week, when I was 42, I had fewer migraines. (Slowly working back up to that… at 3x a w now.)

    Plus, exercise gives you endorphins, and that makes everything easier.

    That’s probably an annoying answer. Deal.

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  5. OHHHH! Jooooon!! It would be awesome for your faithful readers (are we still called Pie peeps??) to share what It’s A Wonderful Life character best represents them! For the record, I’m the school teacher’s grouchy husband. Or Ernie or Bert.

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  6. You’re stressing me out with the poll, Joob. It’s like those tests in grade school where you have to fill in the oval and there’s only one answer and it may not be the actual answer but it’s the best answer. What does that even mean, best answer? I still need therapy for those stupid tests. I keep scrolling up to the poll choices but this is something I must be sure of. Since we can only answer one. Right? We can only have only one answer? This is serious business. I’m trending to the sex one but that’s a lot of pressure. The obvious selfish one for me is to write a book but does that mean you have to give up exploring new places or working out or eating to decrease migraines?? Can I click on all ovals? I mean circles. JuneGeorge, why must you torture the children?

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  7. Well, here we are at the Eve part of New Year’s Eve. I’ve got black-eyed peas already on the stove so we can get our good luck going tout suite! 2017 was a terrible year (prime numbers are always the problem), so 2018 HAD to be better, and it was! Lots of new opportunities and good changes came our way as a family. I think 2019 (not a prime number) has a good vibe on the leading edge, so CHEERS! And Happy Birthday to the Poet!
    I voted for writing a book. Medical issues have a way of making themselves a priority, so no need for that to be a resolution. Exercise, shmexercise. The BOOK is the jewel there. You can do it, June! We’ll help!!

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  8. I hate resolutions that are about self-improvement, so I voted for your visiting a new place each week. And one of my favorite lines (though it is hard to choose) is Nick saying, “I don’t know you from Adam’s off ox!” to George. It’s surprisingly hard to slip that one into everyday conversation, but I try to do just that every day.

    See what I did there?

    I had a neurologist yell at me the other day, because I take Excedrin four times a week for my migraines. I was all, “Hey, it works for me and it’s cheap. Please get out of my face.” I’ve always considered myself lucky that it works and I don’t need prescription meds, and he was acting like I was an idiot. He said I shouldn’t take it more than twice a month. He was saying I should try nutraceuticals, and I said I would, if I knew what nutraceuticals were. Which I thought was sort of funny, right? But he didn’t laugh.

    I thought of so many clever things I could have said to him, but after the appointment, of course. And he handed me an info sheet at the end of the appointment that, among other things, recommends Motrin. WTF? If Motrin works, IT’S NOT A MIGRAINE.

    Nutraceuticals are supplements/vitamins, by the way. I guess someone wanted to show off his million-dollar medical education there. OMG, I’m still so pissed off. I’m 55 – DON’T TALK DOWN TO ME.

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  9. My mom and my aunt use CBD oil. My mom says her aches and pains are lessened. My aunt says she sleeps better. I tried it twice. I had an allergic reaction becuz I’m allergic to some grasses. Go figure. I’ve begun earthing. Naturally. Meaning I’m not buying any stuff for my house. Just trying to put my bare feet on some type of earth for a few mins a day. Supposed to lower my cortisol among other things. We shall see. Iris. Sigh. May 2019 abound with blessings for you.

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    • I learned about Earthing from my cousin. He goes outside in all weather and walks around barefoot and shirtless for about 15 minutes a day. I tried doing it but my plantar fasciitis makes being barefoot painful for me. He’s also started drinking hydrogen water and got a hydrogen water machine that costs a small fortune.

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  10. Iris had a wonderful time living with you and was loved and cared for. But I know, it still sucks the big one.
    Brits eat finely-chopped pimentos plus pickles in cheese sandwiches on white bread. Don’t ask me why. Must be an acquired taste.
    I’ll vote for the sex, since the only way I’m getting any is vicariously.
    CBD oil did nothing for me, sadly. Nor for my pets. I also truly abhor the taste, and it made me burp that taste all day, every day. I decided, not surprisingly perhaps, to give that up.
    I also had a fucking migraine yesterday. We’re migraine twins.

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  11. Lovely post, June! and a Happy New Year to all you Pie Peeps (from the old days) and Book of June Bookers (from the new days).
    I voted for the book. I know you don’t want migraine advice, so I stayed clear of that choice.
    Iris. Sweet, murdering Iris. She was a one of a kind. I hope Lily isn’t too lost without her.

    Thanks for the video again. Especially poignant with your Iris.

    I take the CBD for general depression, and give it to my geriatric dog and even more geriatric cat. They haven’t said, but I hope it is helping them.

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  13. Happy New Year, June. I voted for going somewhere new once a week because I think you’ll meet a wonderful man on one of those adventures and then we’ll get the sex posts as well.

    Sorry you haven’t been feeling well. I’ve now had a virus for about two weeks that resulted in pink eye and a ruptured eardrum and I’ve lost all hearing in my left ear (hopefully only temporarily). I spent Christmas in bed instead of eating and having fun. Here’s to 2019 being less sickly for everyone.

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      • I fell a couple of times recently and I’m not so sure I don’t have a hairline fracture in my ankle. I also bruised both knees, sprained a wrist, and pulled a tricep muscle. I’m down to one bruised knee and the ankle issue at this point. My ankle only hurts when I move it certain ways. It doesn’t hurt to walk, but if I just slightly shift it in a certain direction I get shooting horrid pains throughout my ankle and foot. I fell out of a chair at a party in front of a bunch of people I didn’t know when I hurt the ankle. I was 100% sober by the way – I bent over to pick up someone’s phone that had been dropped next to my foot and the chair flipped over. When I fell and injured my knees and arms, my basement was flooding and my pants leg got caught on a nail as I was scooping out gallons of storm water. I was moving forward and the nail/pants leg pulled me backwards and down I went and fell right into a puddle on gross concrete floors. I’m not sad to see 2018 go away.

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  15. Lovely post yet again, Joon. I love the song on the video, not uplifting, but very nice. May I ask what it is? Also, my goal for next year is to BE in your New Years end video. I’ll start driving up around Dec 1st. Your pictures are the bomb! Maybe instead of writing a book (Yes, I voted) you can be a videographer/blogger/author. No pressure. Happy 2019!

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  17. Happy New Year, June and household! And to everyone else, as well! I love the Iris picture at the top for sweet (assassin-kitty) Iris.

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  19. There was a drug store in the neighborhood in Atlanta where I grew up and many days during the summer my brother and I, along with three girls on our street, would ride our bikes to the drug store. They had the original cherry coke, coke floats and my favorite drink, lime sours, which had to have salt. This brings back memories of a time where kids could roam all over yonder and still be safe.
    Tee

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      • My kids were “Free Range” kids. I didn’t want them sitting around on their asses playing video games all day, I wanted them to run, play, explore and enjoy the Great Outdoors. They just had to check in periodically throughout the day but I never worried about them. The parents of some of their school friends thought I was insane although their kids always wanted to have play dates at our house with my kids because they got to do fun kid things instead of being held captive indoors.

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  21. I used pimentos when I used to make Chicken A La King, many years ago. The late aunt who was least renouned for her cooking introduced that recipe to our family.
    I have a cold and my fat ass is glued to the recliner even more than normal.

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  22. Happy New Year to you June and Happy Birthday to The Poet!

    We have an old timey soda fountain in one of the local drugstores and I love to go in and have a burger there. It’s fun to sit at the counter and watch them cook and talk with the other locals. Been going over 30 years now. Seems like just yesterday I went for the first time.

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  23. I’m ready to pre-order the Book of June, but I do hope that something is on the horizon that can help your awful migraines. No one needs that kind of pain and suffering.

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful Iris with us over these past seven years. I’ve been weepy all weekend, as it brought back everything I’ve felt over losing my own sweet girl, Lucia, back in April. I went back to 2011, and re-read all the posts about her arrival, then Lily following. That was a big year-end/new year activity as well.

    Best wishes for the coming year to all of us!

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  24. Happy new year, June, and happy birthday to The Poet. Thank you for returning to your non-blog as that was one of the highlights of the year. Otherwise, I’ll be glad to see the end of 2018 as we lost too many friends and family this year and poor, sweet Iris added to the sadness. I’m glad you gave her a wonderful life. She would have given Mr. Potter his due. All you had to do was put a bird on his shoulder or maybe on his head and she would have taken care of the rest.

    May 2019 be a kinder year for all of us.

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  25. The video was tearful, but I get so excited when I see all the people and KNOW who they are. I voted for eating better, hoping it would help with the migraines, but I really wanted to vote for writing your book. Happy birthday to The Poet. Enjoy your party and I wish you a happy new year. I hope 2019 will be a great year for you.

    I love the header in honor of sweet Iris.

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  26. I like that old fashioned drug store. Do you remember how we used to walk over to Dudewisz/Epting Drugstore to buy ice cream sodas and birthday cards? That was fun.

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  27. Happy New Year, June. I also hope you’re feeling well enough to enjoy the evening with your friends.
    Happy birthday to The Poet!
    I wanted to vote for the first four. Exercising is just plain torture.
    I was hoping to watch the veedeo again but it’s unavailable. Glad I managed to see it earlier.
    I truly wish you the best of everything in 2019.
    You deserve it all.

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  28. Echoing all of the good wishes already posted and saying that I laughed out loud at the wait music in heaven and again at your comment about the no-nonsense brunettes. And, too, the pimento riff. I love your writing and you’re not only so pretty, you seem like a genuinely good soul . Bless your heart in all the good non-snarky ways.

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  29. The iris painting is beautiful and a perfect tribute to sweet Iris. Your year end videos always make me a little tearful even though they are mostly positive. You tell a story well, whether in words or pictures. I voted for you to go places because I don’t think the migraine diets work.

    Signed,
    Tiresome/Tiring No-Nonsense Brunette

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  30. I enjoyed your veedeo, June. Seeing sweet Eyeriss made me sad, but the rest was mostly happy. Speaking of happy: Happy new year to you and happy birthday to The Poet. Please give Good Boy Edsel a kiss for me since you don’t do hugs.

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  31. Happy New Year. I hope your 2019 will be wonderful. Notice how no one voted for more dating and sex? Cracks me up, are we a bunch of old farts or what?

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  32. Happy Birthday to The Poet!
    What an awful weekend, June. I can’t even imagine. And this was such an upbeat post. I don’t know how you do that. I can’t really get poor Iris out of my mind. And, I love the picture of the iris on your banner. She was such a wonderful–tough!–cat. She was a lot like YOU.

    Happy New Year to all! Be safe tonight.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  33. I need to vote for two – one for you to eat better/migraines because I don’t want you sick but I also really want that book….

    Lovely post, pretty Juan.

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  34. I’m grateful the poll didn’t have an “other” choice. I would have chosen it and said “do whatever the heck you want – I’ll read about it no matter what”. Instead I chose, well, I won’t SPOIL it , but it involves writing.

    So so sorry about your migraines. That has to be the absolute worst. If I have a five minute pain in my head I’m a wreck. I can’t imagine one that lasts for hours and is so debilitating. I hope you can make it to the party. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to The Poet!

    I just watched It’s a Wonderful Life yesterday and wondered to myself “am I Violet or am I Mary?” and then realized I’m probably more like Ma Bailey in the boarding house at this point in my life. Gosh I love that movie. I just wish I could see that bastard Mr. Potter get what’s coming to him. The version we bought has an Extras section so I watched that too – all about the making of the movie and how it was the middle of June (not you – the month) and a heat wave while they were all pretending it was Christmas and snowing. And the wrap party was an old fashioned picnic (well I guess it was just a “picnic” then) with three legged races and what not. People didn’t even appreciate the movie when it first came out, but I sure love it now.

    Thanks for the lovely post to end a year of lovely posts dear June. I’m so glad you’re back.

    Happy New Year!

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  36. I was torn over how to vote. I want you to write a book but you need to get the migraines under control to write one. Then they will either get worse or disappear because you won’t have That Damn Book I Need to Write hanging over you. I say write the book just to see if migraines go away. (And to make $$$)

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  37. I hope 2019 is a crap-ton better than 2018. I’m definitely ready to throw this year into the garbage. Just one shitty thing after another. I’m so sorry about Iris. That’s just awful.

    I just started taking CBD oil for my anxiety and headaches, and I’m only a couple days in, but so far it’s behaving like the “miracle potion” it’s touted to be. I still feel like me, but a chilled-out version of me. I believe the regular, non-jacked up folks call it “feeling normal”. I take 6mg twice a day, and the effects noticeably kick in after about 5 minutes.

    Unless it makes me start growing a (serious) mustache or develop some kind of butt syndrome, I’m a CBD convert.

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    • We have good friends that have a severely autistic adult son and CBD has helped with the seizures he was having, in fact, the oil has eliminated some of the many meds he has to take.

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      • I think it must be one of those things where it either works for you or it doesn’t. I have that experience with regular ol’ marijuana. Doesn’t chill me out or make me relaxed, just makes me feel really sick and totally weird in a bad way!

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        • When my city legalized recreational marijuana, I hightailed it to my local dispensary and got some THC oil and edibles to help me sleep because I was sick and tired of tossing and turning all night long and waking up every 2 hours. There were a bunch of other women my age and older who were all wanting the same thing, to sleep. It works like a charm. I take my oil or an edible about an hour before going to bed and I sleep like a teenager, waking up at my normal time feeling rested and refreshed and I never feel like I’m stoned. It’s awesome.

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