June's stupid life

Go to the bathroom with June

Y’all were so helpful when I was recently trying to organize my shoes that I thought I might elicit your help in the bathroom. Someone push on my head!

(When I was a kid, for about six months after my parents separated, my mother and I lived with my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Leo. They had one freaking bathroom because their house was built in like 1890 or something, and it was haunted. The whole house, not just the bathroom. Anyway, most mornings all four of us would be in the bathroom at the same time, and my Aunt Kathy would be on the toilet asking for someone to push on her head, a thing I found hilarious then and now.)

Let’s push on.

In my own house that has one bathroom because it was built in 1932, I have these cubbyholes, where allegedly one cutely stores one’s stuff. As you can see it’s moved from cute to horrifically sad in three short months.

So what I thought I’d do, see, is first of all get some slippers because when did these hardwoods get so drafty-feeling? Hang on…

Hoooray

Okay, let’s go to the bathroom. Every time I say that, I am delighted…

For those of you without org skills, and June please say “org” just all the time, you can at least creepy-crawl my bathroom cupboards, and who doesn’t like to do that?

So, once again, here’s the whole thing.

The very top shelf has nothing, and next to that a case I use to store my makeup when I travel. I have limited closet space and also I think that case is pretty. Chris and Lilly gave it to me at some point, I forget why. Birthday?

Row two has a painting a friend made, and generic Kleenex. Really, I don’t know why I’m not a home-decorating blogger. The shelf next to it has an empty jar and a photo of my Uncle Leo and me. I guess we’re still sharing a bathroom.

Row three: Perfume I don’t use because it’s the wrong season for it, a pink container with nothing in it, water in a spray bottle to refresh my curls, and two kinds of facial cleanser I use because Hot & Flashy said to. (When I linked to her just now, I realized I’m using the wrong Yes to Coconuts cleanser. Goddammit. That’s why I’m not hot and flashy like her.)

Next to that cubby, and June please say “cubby” just all the time, is dog shampoo, a brush I never use anymore except for twice a year when I actually brush my hair, and soap.

Next row: Empty jar that used to have cotton pads in it but I found having an open jar was easier. Hair cream and more face products that Hot & Flashy told me to get. If Hot & Flashy told me to eat the blood of live rabbits I’d do it. Have you seen her? She’s so goddamn pretty.

Next row, another pink container that has nothing in it, and photos of my gramma, my Aunt Wa, mom and me.

I know you wish there were more rows, AND THERE ARE!

Next row: hair clips I never use and a flamingo. There’s a statement you make every day. Next to that is this pretty container that has all my reading glasses.

The famed cotton pads, and a jar crammed with contacts, scissors, Q-Tips and bobby pins. Honest to god what is wrong with me. Oh, and an emory board.

Then? Kleenex again and some special fancy soap from Chris and Lilly. Beside that, toilet paper, which as of this photo sesh–and be sure to say “photo sesh” just all the time, June–was taken away because Milhous won’t let me have toilet paper out.

The very bottom row, not pictured because you must be sick of my rows. You must be on death row. You’re about to have a row with me. Anyway the bottom row is a hair dryer I use maybe once a month and then nothing. Anything I’ve put on the right side of that bottom row gets taken out by Milhous.

Why do I always at all times have some iteration of a baby animal in my house?

Okay, so if you wonder if there’s anywhere else I could stick this stuff, let’s go look at the one sad closet devoted to bathroom supplies.

(“This is why I prefer my McMansion,” the reader said, swinging her horseshoe haircut decidedly. “Charm over closet space? Never!”)

The closet is a tiny little door you open with a latch, and here are the contents.

Top shelf has all the toilet paper Milhous refuses to let me display. That box has all the things in it you don’t want displayed, like Nair for giant mustaches and suppositories. Oh, and those washcloths are especially for makeup removal, and when I put them on the open shelves in the bathroom I come home to them splayed just everywhere in this house. Perhaps if you are planning to help me today, one suggestion might be, “Take that goddamn kitten to the pound.”

This next crisp photo has a backup magnifying mirror in case my current one stops working (shut up), toothbrush heads, contacts, root dye, Latisse brushes (why they gotta make the packaging so insanely huge?) and a charger for a toothbrush that no longer works.

Towels and washcloths crammed in every nook because no room. Hey, any openings in your McMansion development?

And finally, very neatly folded bathroom mats, now with Milhous and Iris. Imagine if you didn’t read on Saturday. “She has her dead cat in her linen closet!”

Here are both the shelves and the closet from a distance, as Bette Midler would say.

Ugh.

So that’s my situation. Please fix it. Thank you. Love JOOON.

55 thoughts on “Go to the bathroom with June

  1. Michaels sells cute scrapbook paper that could be cut to size to fit into the back of each shelf for some color and design. I did it to the back of dining room hutch and it turned out great.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wrote a long comment earlier, but it vanished, so I will summarize.
    First – cubbies. Only one kleenex box is allowed, ma’am. I would put the tall glass jar with the lid up high next to your cute travel case. They are the same size, neither is used often, but both are pretty. Can you put your contacts in one of the empty pink containers? You could put the other pink container with the flamingo instead of the cup, because it doesn’t seem to hold anything essential. Hang two more pictures/paintings along the center column to get those off shelves. Most importantly, you are going to need to find another container for the teetering tower of cotton pads. That is making me super nervous.
    Second – closet. I like that your toilet paper is out of sight, so good job on that. Can you turn the basket of suppositories/other unmentionables the other direction or in a different shaped basket so that you can put the back-up mirror alongside it? Then you could move the second shelf up to bridge the space gap. The second shelf is perfect for baskets/bins. Target has bins called Y Weave bins which are cheap, washable and come in several sizes. If you can think of another place for the bathmats then you might have space for a tall, slender hamper. I just want to come over there right now and get this done for you.
    Your house is so darling, June! I can’t wait to see how you reorganize it all now that you’ve lived there for a while. Squeeee!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the shelves in your bathroom and I can’t wait to see what you try. Most things I would have suggested have already been shared. But I do want to add an observation about the new Marie Kondo show. I’m only on episode two but I loved seeing the older Japanese man almost come back to life. He seemed so detached at the beginning. His love for his wife was tinged with resentment. It’s amazing how much clearing out clutter can help with relationships. It’s an aspect that we suspect is true but can’t be quantified like bags of donated items. The real impact of show is not the visuals of the sorting and folding but moments of softening between the couples.

    Like

    1. It’s my favorite part of the show and honestly she clearly understands that as well (even though she’s nuts). And you’re right – the husband in that episode appears depressed in the early scenes and she seems almost manic. As things progress, she calms down and he begins to get more animated and engaged. They both look years younger by the end of that episode.

      I won’t spoil anything, but every relationship is improved by gaining control of their shared living space. It’s delightful to watch!

      Like

  4. The pushing on her head! Oh, my goodness. I can hardly go to the bathroom when people are NEAR the bathroom–outside the door!

    I have no advice, but others had some good ideas!

    Lovely post, lovely June!

    Like

  5. Do you know anyone that’s woodworking handy? Or could you make friends with the wood cutting guy at Home Depot? An alternative to baskets might be a cute apothecary look to do simple boxes and put a decorative knob on the end to also make it functional? They would be simple to build/glue once the wood was cut.

    Lovely post old, pretty June!

    Like

  6. I’m late to the party and see some excellent ideas and suggestions. I cannot add anything new but I would like to second the clear vinyl shoe organizer on back of closet door. I also chose charm over certain amenities. While I have a really large pantry with a window (it’s as big as most powder rooms), I do not have a lot of counter or cabinet space. I hung one of the shoe organizers over the pantry door and store all of my kitchen utensils in it. I need only take a few steps to get to them and it has saved me so much space and clutter.

    Like

  7. I am clearly late to the organizing party, however, I did read the first half of your post in the potty. So there’s fun.

    The baskets have already been ruled out. You could go and get clear containers from target or some other place, but my favorite is to first scour my house to see if there are any other items I can use. For instance I have a small glass pitcher in my bathroom that holds my q tips. A pink cake plate stand with various glass containers that hold my makeup brushes. Oh, i also used a medium size white pitcher to store my longer brushes.

    I think you could find some things in your home to use. And except for protecting items from rogue kittens, use the pretty stuff you just stare at your china hutch.

    Tadah!

    Like

      1. I used my grandma’s hand me down pewter tea set for q tips, toothbrush holders etc. I’m all for a few baskets as well. I use most of the things I already have for containers. Weird but it works. You’ll have fun with this!

        Like

  8. I’d put all the “goods” (hair care, lotions, brushes, etc.) inside the cabinet, and put all the towels, washcloths, and rugs rolled up smartly (cutely? neatly?) on some of the open shelving along with the pictures and nick-naks.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. There are a lot of good suggestions. I’m thinking that the bathroom shelves are not deep enough for boxes or tubs to fit. The closet shelves do seem to be deep enough for that. Also, that Tiffany blue container would look cool in your kitchen.

    Like

  10. A clear vinyl shoe holder hung up on the inside of your closet door will hold so many items. I have them not only in linen closets but also my pantry.

    Like

  11. i love organizing. it’s my weird superpower. but, i’d like to know what’s really pissing you off about the current set up (seriously). it’s easier to make ass-y suggestions when i know what people don’t like. one thing…get rid of the shit that you don’t use at all or is broken. you mentioned a bunch of things. and the stuff you almost never use should go into the places that are harder to get at (back of closet, top of closet etc) as long as they are kitten-protected. things you love/use a lot go in the easiest to get at places. ugly things you use all the time should be hidden or put in a nice container–i think you have lots of those. i love your bathroom. it’s got more than enough space for you!!!

    Like

  12. I don’t know why I’m not a home-decorating blogger. Flump!

    Great suggestions. Trash any item broken and remove the empty containers. Group similar use items together. You might want to consider using clear acrylic containers (Marshall’s and T. J. Maxx has these at good prices) so there is no mystery as to what’s in the box, especially for items on the upper shelves. If there is anything that cute kitten won’t bother, put that on the bottom shelves. The shelves in the closet are adjustable, move the middle shelves closer together. This will allow storage of shorter items, or stacked items. That will allow you to add a couple more shelves for more storage. I would think Lowe’s or Home Depot would have matching brackets and shelves to fit the hardware on the wall. Move flamingo up so it can be seen. I love it! Move the photos out to prevent them from being damaged by the moisture.

    Like

  13. Commenting before reading comments. I’d love to see a cool wallpaper that features your pink and teal colors (maybe a paisley pattern?). Or paint. It would also look yummy to have it go up the walls and over the ceiling, as a nice contrast to your white tile. I have this in my bathroom, and really like the feeling of the color on the ceiling.

    Sorry, still struggling myself with decent organizing skills, but love your empty containers. Who’s Hot & Flashy (besides June)?

    Like

  14. I keep buying Hot & Flashy items too, in hopes that I will morph in to her. I am on a fierce organize/declutter mission at my house. I find purging to be exceptionally helpful. Then making your storage work for you. When you are on the YouTubes watching Flashy, have a gander at Do It On A Dime’s channel. She is young and adorable…and likely says HEY GUYS…but I bet you can muscle through! She gives simplistic, affordable and methodical organizing tips.

    Like

  15. I love the little cubbies and your decorative pieces in the bathroom. As suggested, baskets and containers to hold the items you do use would be perfect.
    Your closet shelves look deep enough to hold a 3 or 4 drawer plastic storage container. They come in various sizes.
    I use mine to store small items like toothbrush heads, waxing supplies, extra toothpaste etc. All the crap you need but don’t use often neatly organized.
    Measure the shelf first and take a measuring tape to check the size.
    I also like the basket of rolled towels idea.

    Like

    1. Oooo, I like the storage shelves in the closet idea.

      For everyone saying baskets in the cubbies, my problem is, I will never look in them, and forget what I have, and we’ll be back to the too-much-oregano issue we had in 2009. But I love the idea of putting the pink containers on the top, and all the items I need on one shelf, like all face and all hair. I should literally store faces and hair on my shelves. Oh! And also, the Uncle Leo picture is technically a tile, so it won’t warp. The others might. I dunno. I like them in there, tho.

      Like

      1. Another basket consideration…they’re easy for a curious kitten to snag with his claws. I imagine Milhous sitting on the top of the toilet reaching up to pull a basket down.

        Like

  16. You don’t want to see my lack of organizing skills. Seriously. I do want to say, though, that I have the same frame that holds the photo of you and Mother. I have a picture of my Kenzie at eight weeks old in mine. I don’t know why I felt you needed to know that.

    Like

  17. Luckily everyone else (kudos to you Pam) already did all the advice giving. I thought it was pretty cute as it was. Crap. Now I feel like I have to organize my stupid bathroom.

    Like

  18. Nothing helpful here. Comparing my bathrooms to the one lovingly pictured above, I can only conclude that I do not qualify for Western civilization.

    Like

  19. *****Awwww cute comment from your dad!

    Dear June,

    I love the photos and whimsy scattered throughout the open shelves. It has a shadow box effect. Maybe you can move the stuff that is used/accessed a few times per month, into the closet…then add a few shelf dividers to the open shelves. That creates two levels of “shelf” surface within one cubby. A few decorative baskets might be helpful…but I am a fan of the vintage open cubby look…so I’d would rather keep the whimsy (and let cats rule the bottom cubbies).

    Have a great week,

    L.in CA

    Like

  20. Well I SEE everyone has already watched Tidying Up and stolen all my suggestions.

    Really though – that Marie Kondo woman is a complete nutcase. But she do know how to organize. And I, of course, love watching her share tips that I’ve been ridiculed for years for doing in my own house – like corralling everything in small open boxes in drawers so you can see what’s what. Oh how my family has mocked me.

    So, to sum up, get rid of all those things that you said you don’t use anymore, move all the things you only use once in a while to a less visible space, and either use the empty containers or get rid of them. I’m actually OK with the photos in the bathroom – I can imagine it would be nice to see friendly faces first thing in the morning. And how many bathmats does one woman need? We have one and it seems to suffice.

    Can’t wait to see how we do!

    Like

      1. Ohhhhh. Gotcha. Yeah. We refrain from peeing on the bathmats.

        My brother used to pee on that shag rug that wrapped around the toilet – remember those things? With the matching toilet seat cover and rug and bathmat? Why anyone thought it was a good idea to wrap a rug around the base of the toilet with a boy in the house is beyond me.

        Like

      2. I also had an issue with “people” peeing on my bathmats. If, by “people” you mean cats. I could NOT figure out why it kept happening! I’m sure I probably googled it or something but I read that the rubber backing can smell like cat pee (to the cats) so they mark on top of it! I started buying woven mats with no rubber backing and it NEVER happened again.

        Like

    1. Back when I was in 7th grade in my friend June corralled things in boxes in her dresser drawers and I copied the idea. I’m glad to know Lisa does the same.

      Like

  21. I agree with Capelover’s suggestions about baskets and sorting like with like. Less visual chaos. When I’m home alone and don’t close the door to my upstairs bathroom, I face a shelf of ancestor photos and mentally apologize for peeing in front of them. It’s disconcerting. So I vote for moving your photos out based on my neurosis. You’re welcome.

    Like

  22. I like the idea of baskets on the shelves. You could also use some of those pretty boxes they make for storing photos. It looks like there is some space on the bottom shelf of the closet to add another shelf. You could hang all the pictures (including one of your Dad as noted below) on the section in between the cubbies to give yourself more space on the shelves.

    Like

    1. That was my very first thought–hang pictures down the center, especially the painting! They are all small and would free up shelf space, plus look so nice!

      Like

  23. I get good ideas from watching the new Marie Kondo show on Netflix… Basically have the most commonly used items within easy reach, stack everything so you can easily see what you have, and used boxes and trays to organize everything–everything in its place, a place for everything.
    It’s addictive.

    Like

  24. My only suggestions, aside from taking out the whole thing next to the toilet (Condor Woman here would take out the pictures with her elbow whilst doing her bidness), is to get rid of all but the barest minimum of towels. Then, basket on its side and rolled towels in it. I like the basket idea below, too.

    My, you have a lot of girly stuff…

    Like

  25. I find, PERSONALLY, open shelves and open containers to be dust-collectors. I would get baskets and/or pretty boxes for each cubby. Oh. See? Already suggested. There you go.

    Like

  26. Identical baskets that fit perfectly in the shelves. Cute tags for each one. Hair supplies go together. Lotions in another, and so on. Throw away anything broken, no longer in use. Put seldom used items higher up as you have the traveling makeup. Things not related to bathroom use, such as pictures go elsewhere. Since all is in baskets, which snugly fit in cubies, animals can’t go there. Will be neat, organised, pretty and petfree

    Liked by 3 people

  27. I have many thoughts. I actually took notes. (#kondo)
    I’d put the two pink containers you’re not currently using, up on the top left shelf. (coordinate with the travel case). Or, the one that has a lid, could be used for your contacts (get them out of the glass with the nail scissors)

    Do photos have to be in the bathroom? I would worry about moisture ruining them. But, if they bring you joy (#gagkondo), then leave ’em.

    Put the brush you hardly ever use, on the shelf of the cabinet.

    Toss the toothbrush charger that doesn’t work.

    Would the empty jars that are taking up space here, work for something in your kitchen, perhaps? They are taking up space here and need to go.

    Put all your face products on one shelf (or two, across.) Same with hair.

    Would you like an organizer thing for the top of your tank? Looks like you’re storing stuff there…. could it be all hair stuff, for example? (I use a basket on my toilet tank for all of my lotions — get it?)

    If you can fit baskets on the shelves, and in the closets, that may help corral similar items to make it easier for you, but I feel like that’s a harder solution to solve in older homes with shallow shelves.

    (I LOVE the blue container.)

    Liked by 3 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s