Do you think the Tracy Anderson mat workout I did last night has been negated by the four Girl Scout cookies I just had for breakfast? I feel like Kate Middleton never sidles up to some S’mores cookies at 7 a.m.
Oh, and yes. In answer to the poll I gave you awhile back about what workout I should do, I opted for Tracy Anderson because she was there. I still don’t know if that’s my final answer, but that’s what I’ve been doing.
I’m complementing that workout regime with Girl Scout cookies. I should write a fitness book.
Anyway, today I have a bunch of crap on my desktop that I keep meaning to show you at some point, and today is that day. I really know how to make things fascinating, don’t I?
Here’s me trying Perrier strawberry water. I was hoping I’d try it and carry on about it so much that I’d become the Perrier spokesperson. Surely they want some chubby old lady in Greensboro to be their spokesperson.
Okay, great. You’ve seen that. Now I can take this off my desktop. Hang on.
BABY KITTY IRIS!
Okay, Iris was not the most perfect little kitten you ever saw. I mean, first, she lacked actual eyes. And then she had a bad ear infection so she always had medicine on her temples. Really, since day one, Iris has had the cards stacked against her. But look at her little smile. She’s always been plucky. And murderous.
BABY KITTY IRIS AGAIN! And an afghan with 6 tons of dog fur on it. You know what I do now? I put the afghans up between uses. I know. What a Tidy Tess I’ve become.
Okay, now I can throw away the baby Irises on my desktop. This is so Mary Condom or whatever her name is. Why can’t I ever remember that tidying up woman’s name? I finally watched the first episode of that, with the couple who call each other “Babe” 497 times a day. Then after I hated them, I moved on to
who made me so angry and nervous I almost couldn’t watch. “Well, I have three rooms of Christmas decorations out all year because I like Christmas.”
Dudes, she had nutcracker soldiers on top of her dining room hutch. ALL YEAR.
I can’t get behind people who have that much crap. Mostly because there’s no room to stand behind them. But really, I threw out some stuff when I moved in here that I was like, Wow. You have no heart at all. Some of it makes me feel bad, in retrospect. But everything I gave away or threw out was stuff that moved in a box from one house to the next for decades.
Why? Why keep that? I get nervous about having things around that I don’t need, and I suffer not a bit from the “but what if you NEED a piece of chicken wire one day” disorder.
Edsel and Tallulah when I hid a treat under the chair. Man, that chair was in better shape then. That was 47 foster kitten claws ago. I have big plans to recover that chair once I’ve saved my dollars.
I miss having an Edsel and a Tallulah together. Eds still tilts his head when I say, “Tallulah.”
I only have one thing left on m’desktop that I have to show you, and it’s a fascinating video of my latest pet.
Milhous is RIVETED by ice. I found this out the hard way when I spilled ice out of the ice maker. Now anytime I push that lever for ice, he runs over with this high-pitched meow he reserves only for ice. It’s his ice meow. Anyway, here he is being riveted.
Maybe he’s part otter. We should do his Ancestry DNA profile.
I should also offer the caveat that Milhous is riveted by everything and I personally look forward to the day he slits his eyes disdainfully at the world the way a cat is supposed to. I don’t know about you. But that that’s my hashtag goals.
Outside of home and my 48 pets, we had Maker’s Day at work yesterday, which isn’t as good as if it’d been Maker’s Mark Day, but still. Everyone at work who is creative (aka everyone at work) was encouraged to bring in a sample of what they did (“I make situations awkward,” I said, “can I bring that?”), and we displayed it all on the pretty, exposed-brick floor they don’t let me up on very often. Oh, it’s nice up there. Huge windows and so on.
Anyway, I managed to tell people I made all the food, all the art, and even the keg of beer one guy brews. What I like are the people at work who still give me the benefit of the doubt. “Did you really?” And someone else will pull them aside and be all, Don’t notice June. She’s an asshole.
Anyway, which I already said but there you go, there’s one very quiet guy at work who makes this incredible chunky jewelry, and I tried every single piece on because you know how I am. I am haunted by one ring that’s silver with a honey-colored piece of amber in it. I never ever wear amber, but it was so pretty.
Should I get it? I don’t think it’s cheap. Every piece of amber jewelry I buy is one step further from my goal of recovering my chair. It has no impact on my goal of Milhous getting bored by life like the rest of us, however.
Oh yeah, life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone,