June's stupid life

Downtown Junie Brown

I had so many epiphanies this weekend!

Well. Two. I had two. But normally my weekends are epiphany-free.

The first one happened right as I was wrapping up the workweek. “I have so much spinach that I’m worried it’ll go bad,” I said to The Copy Editor Who Sits Behind Me, and let’s give her a name from the Random Name Generator.

“I have so much spinach that I’m worried it’ll go bad,” I said to Trix. “I’ve put it in smoothies and on sandwiches, and it’s like that giant bag won’t budge.”

Also, I am a riveting coworker. With my spinach woes.

“Why don’t you sautee it?” asked Trix, who is quite likely to hate her new blog name.

Sautee it?

So on Friday night, I asked my Google Home how to sautee spinach, and it turns out it’s easy, and it turns out it shrinks your available spinach down to a nub, and it turns out it’s delicious.

Also, that isn’t really exactly an epiphany, is it? It’s more that someone told me something. But I’d like to go down in history as the person who invented sauteeing spinach, and can we make that happen? Like, when I die, you guys can be all, “Maybe you never read her blog, but did you know she invented sauteeing spinach?”

My other epiphany was that I’ve decided I have low-porosity hair. I know this means almost nothing to you, as opposed to that life-changing info on my spinach consumption, but as a curly person who is in 72 curly-hair-care groups, it changes everything. Particularly because my hairdresser told me I have high-porosity hair. But I’ve decided she is wrong. I hope she’s not like Fonzie and unable to say, “Wrong.” Remember that? He’d say, “I was wr.” No wonder it didn’t work out with Pinky Tuscadero.

That sums up my two epiphanies, but also I took a shitty shitterson shit sandwich shieski of pictures this weekend, so let’s look at some.

My grandfather used to say that when your breath wasn’t so fresh. “Did you just eat a shit sandwich?”

Let’s have Things Your Grandfather Said Day in the comments. That is if today’s fascinating info isn’t enough to comment on.

The Weekend

June and her artsy tableau

So far this year, I’ve re-read Angle of Repose by someone or other.

God invented Google, girl.

I also read a book that we got sent to us for free at work because some mailing lists think we’d be the kind of place that we might talk about new books. It was called Family Baggage.

Angle of Repose was good and worth the reread. Family Baggage was the kind of book you take to the beach.

Then I started that Marie Condo book or whatever her name is, about tidying up. So far it’s made me anxious. Then, as you’ll see with future photos coming up, I also bought Michelle Obama’s autobiography and I can see me reading all of that before I go back to Tidying Up. Not literally. I can’t literally see myself reading in the future. Because creepy.

So on Saturday morning, I read some of Marie Condor, not knowing I’d end up buying Michelle Obama, and it’s this kind of madcap unpredictability that makes the Life of June so readable.

At noon I had a Botox appointment, and with my newfound cheaper house and fiscal responsibility, I intended to pay for it in cash that I’d saved, and who even is June Gardens anymore?

This is only my second time going to this particular Botoxer, and I really like her, but she talked me into a new jab o’Botox here and a poke of it over there and in three days to a week I’d better have trouble getting into PG-rated movies, is what I’m saying to you.

My point is, when it was time to pay the bill it was WAY MORE than usual and now I’m destitute until Wednesday night.

I went home and thought of ways to cook Milhous when I got a text from Wedding Alex. “I working downtown,” she said. “You should come hang out.”

So I did, as it was free and all. I expected that she was somewhere selling her needlepoints, but she was not. She was, like, manning a counter at a store.

And so delighted to see me!

Turns out she was doing a favor for a friend, which is different from “asking for a friend,” a joke I am so over.

Anyway, it was cool in there (I’d been before but stuff changes all the time. Like, all of a sudden I’m sauteeing spinach) and I stayed for hours and eventually walked around downtown and drove all the old men crazy.

Speaking of jokes you’re over.

There was a woman in here sketching people in this bar. I wanted to, you know, WALK RIGHT UP to the window and take a photo, but, hello, freak.

These flowers aren’t real. You’re welcome.

Eventually I came back from my stroll downtown and went back to Wedding Alex’s store that she now owns and tried on this coat and loved it but I am broke see above crap.

It’s me. ADMIT IT. It’s me.

On Sunday, I had plans to go downtown again, which is not a euphemism, to attend pit bull bingo. It’s where you play bingo and all proceeds go to rescue pit bulls, and also pitty pit heads are there for adoption and oogling.

I was meeting Trix and also Fewks, The Guy Who Sits Next To Me at Work, plus Special Guest Star Fewks’s wife, and I was lucky to get TV FUCKING PARKING right out front. But I got in there and,

oh, man.

They had a bigger turonout than they expected. It was can’t-move crowded and it immediately gave me angina and I was all, You guys, I am not staying for Calcutta Bingo I’m sorry so I ended up walking around downtown again.

Basically, this whole post is The weekend. I went downtown. Not a euphemism.

Pitty pit head! And behind him a LINE TO GET IN OH MY GOD GET A BIGGER VENUE.

Do you remember a few years back there was a fancy antique store downtown with a door at the back of the store that led to a teensy courtyard that I thought would be perfect for my second wedding?

That store closed, as did all hope of my second wedding, but there’s a vintage shop there now!

I do. Step one, make them move the barrel with a bow. And the cigarette butt. Step two, have anything remotely resembling a romance.
The owner had one of those Prince Charles in a Can dogs and I LOVE those dogs. She’d been let out to poop on my wedding and I asked, “Oooo, can I let her in?” June. Seeming not at all nuts, now in downtown Greensboro.
Yeah, no.
Delta Dawn, what’s that fekking hat you have on.

June. Wearing a scoop of sherbet on her head, since 2019.

I have to go, even though I have eleventy more photos to show you. I must get to work, and why does everything take so long?

I’ll show you the rest of my downtown pictures tomorrow, so now you have something to live for. Don’t forget to tell me stuff your grandfather used to say in the comments.

Abruptly,
June

101 thoughts on “Downtown Junie Brown

  1. I only remember my maternal grandfather and I loved him like crazy. He would take care of the yard and plants and I would catch ladybugs in a jar then let them go when he was done. For some reason, he would tease me by calling me “pigtails” and it made me so mad. I don’t know why it upset me so much. I have an old stenopad where I wrote over and over “Grandaddy is a pigtail!” and drew curly little pictures of pigtails. He had Black Jack and Clove chewing gums and cherry-flavored cough drops that he sometime shared. I was barely 6 when he died and developed an ulcer within 3 months. Thanks for giving me the chance to remember him.
    Also you look wonderful in the coat!

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  2. I love everyone’s grandpa stories. One of my grandfathers died before I was born and the other lived so far from us that I only saw him a few times before he also died. I don’t remember anything he said, but when he and my grandmother were coming to visit us and our parents didn’t tell us so it would be a surprise, I stopped by my dad’s office after school and his secretary said he wasn’t there because he had gone to the airport to pick up my grandparents. When she realized I knew nothing about it, she said, “Uh oh! I’ve let the cat out of the bag.” So I always associate that saying with my grandparents visit.

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  3. My grandfather was wildly eccentric. He loved gathering junk. Once, my Grandmother came home from work to find he had hung a dilapidated “Open for Business” sign across the front of their house. What did he say a lot? “Jesus loves you.”

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  4. My grandpa told me the sound of thunder was really the sound of big potatoes rolling down a hill. There was a hill just down the road from my grandparents house, so pictured giant brown potatoes rolling down the street there. He also used to pronounce tortoise funny (Toytuss) when he’d ask if I was going to read The Tortoise and The Hare. Grandma always said, “Goodnight, samanthees.” I have no idea what a samanthee is and it’s not even close to my name or my sister’s name. I can hear both Grandma and Grandpa saying goodnight just as clear as ever. Gosh, I miss my grandparents.

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  5. When my grandfather in PA would visit us in NC, us five kids would be so excited and give him lots of attention. After awhile he’d say, “go tell your mother that she wants you.”

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  6. My Grandpa Harry had a thick Swedish accent, never wore his dentures and wore a purple baseball hat that said Prune Juice Sets You Free.

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  7. My grandpa would always ask me, “Want to know where to swipe a good bird dog?” I’d say, “Where?” Then he’d say, “Under his tail!” Then he’d ask me what was the one farming tool that John Deere wouldn’t stand behind. Answer: A manure spreader. Any time something went wrong, he would always blame “those Jenkins boys from Bolivia” but he’d pronounce it Bol-A-Vee. He, too, smoked a pipe. I would sit on his lap and play with the empty tobacco tin. I still have it. He smoked cherry tobacco. I found some lotion at a gift shop a couple years ago that smelled just like his cherry tobacco. Loved it. Went back to get more and they don’t carry it anymore.

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  8. Whenever I would ask my grandma what she was doing, she’d reply with a little quip I can’t remember all of. I’m hoping someone here will be familiar with it. “What am I doing? Making XXX(hobnails?) for horses so their feet will fly faster.” I wish I could remember the whole thing.

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  9. I only knew one of my grandfathers and I can’t remember a single thing he ever said. He was a pretty quiet man. But his wife was an angel on earth. Once we were visiting and she got a wrong number call every single morning at the same time from the same woman. She sweetly told her each morning that “Miss Ruth isn’t here. I think you may have the wrong number.” Apparently this had been happening for a couple of weeks before we were there. Every single morning. Finally Mam-ma had had enough. The phone rang, the lady asked for Miss Ruth and my sweet as an angel grandmother responded, “Hang on a minute. I think Ruth is out back taking a shit.” The woman hung up and never called again.

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  10. The thing I remember most was said by my paternal Grandmother’s second husband. She married him long after my dad was an adult, so he didn’t even consider him a stepfather, but we all called him “Grandpa Harry.” One day their big tom cat, cleverly named “Tommy,” jumped up and settled into Grandpa Harry’s lap. Grandpa Harry, in his thick Norwegian accent, slowly stroked Tommy’s head and commented, “Cats have a lot of company in them.” I’ve always remembered that and think it’s a lovely way to describe cats as pets.

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  11. My grandfather was the most dignified man I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. He was the child of Polish immigrants and was deeply ashamed of that. So much that he changed his last name from an obviously Polish name to a very English name (his siblings and mother were not happy about that). If he could have spoken with a British accent, he would have. Think Sir John Gielgud as Hobson in “Arthur” but without the biting one-liners. Whenever he would get a little too snooty, my grandma who was very much an Eastern European peasant housewife, would call him a pompous ass. He went to medical school on the GI Bill after WWII and became a doctor. He loved being a Doctor, with a capital D. However, I cannot recall him saying anything memorable. Probably because he was way too dignified.

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  12. I didn’t have the chance to grow up with either of my grandfathers; one died when I was 3 and the other lived far away. After I was married, my husband and I were moving back home after he got out of the Marines and our drive took us through the town Grandpa Gray lived in. The whole family gathered for a dinner in our honor. Grandpa had had a stroke about a year earlier and was ornery (I think he just said what he wanted and they blamed the stroke). He was hilarious that night. My favorite quote was when my aunt was bawling her eyes out because my cousin just got orders to Okinawa with the Marines. Grandpa said, “I’ve been to Japan. Hated every minute of it. Of course, they were SHOOTING at me.” My husband and I died and every one else just ignored him.

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  13. I know you don’t remember my father, your grandfather, and I can’t remember things he said much except Judas priest. He would say that instead of swearing. Unlike your grandmother he was not much of a swearing person, especially among children and women. He was very polite and would always light women’s cigarettes if they were strangers to him. He referred to pants as trousers and had perfect grammar. He was drop dead handsome and had beautiful blue eyes and got gray at the temple very young. He didn’t live long enough to get all white hair, but I’m sure he would have. His father did. Pickey, your other grandfather lived much longer, so you remember more about him. Remember he would say. Geezo Wheezo instead of swearing? Grammy would say men are like dogs, hump anything, pee anywhere.

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  14. I don’t remember a single word from my paternal grandfather but he was the only person in the family who owned books so I loved that part. The only thing I remember from my maternal grandfather is that he would mumble long long grace before a meal and always ended up weeping. Never understood a single word. But he would take me down the road to the feed the animals and let me pet the horse and cow but not the sow. Grandma said the sow was mean.

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  15. My father’s father was apparently a well-heeled man but ended up giving all his money to his son that was not my father because my father apparently could make it on his own. That grandfather died when I was little, and I have no independent memory of him, only my mother complaining when we would go to my uncle’s house – “the house that our money built.” Oh, those were good visits. Personally, I think they spent all of the money on plastic covering for the living room furniture, but that was just my take on it. My mother’s father lived until he was 97 and I knew him well. He was a wonderful, hard-working man who immigrated to the US from Russia. By the time I was born, he spoke English very well. When we would go for a drive, if there were more than 3 cars on the road, he would always say “Look here, the traffic is tarrrrific, so many cars.” How I loved when he said that.

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  16. Quotes from Pappaw “You look like a haint before daylight.” And whenever he ate anything slightly spicy or in any way different from his normal southern cooking. “This sure has a wang.” But the ultimate embarrassing and cringeworthy quote was his pronunciation of the word Negroes. Fancying himself an enlightened and educated man he often expounded upon the “Nig-ger-roos race. Totally serious.

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  17. “…when I die, you guys can be all, “Maybe you never read her blog, but did you know she invented sauteeing spinach?” Done and done!

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  18. “Why don’t ya sing about it?” Said sarcastically. My grandma loved a Rogers and Hammerstein musical, and he didn’t. It would kind of kill the magic when he said that right before a big song and dance number, but we’d giggle anyway. My other grampa was a little crankier and his favorite saying was “I hate to tell you this, but you’re wrong”. I’ve used that myself a bit these last few years. I guess I’m getting old and cranky.

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  19. That coat looks fab on you. Also, I wish I looked half as cute as you look in hats. I had grandfathers but they preferred to spend time with the bottle (liquor) instead of with me. My Mamaw used to say, “I killed a chicken and churned today.” I think she meant she had a busy day when she said that. I loved her dearly despite her poor taste in husbands. She always smelled of Merle Norman cold cream, the kind that came in a big, pink container.

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  20. I remember my grandfather had the ability to listen to a ballgame on the radio, read the newspaper and play Solitaire at the same time. That doesn’t sound too remarkable now, but at the time it did. My most vivid memory is him reciting the pelican poem: His beak can hold more than his belly can.

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    1. My grandfather had the Braves on tv, but liked the radio announcers better so he listened to them, and read the newspaper at the same time, all while smoking a stogie. If only he had played Solitaire they could have been twins.

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  21. My grandfather was a man of few words. However, he had an amazing workshop and would let us build anything and everything with all of his tools and scrap wood. He also subjected us to carcinogens but in his defense, we did not know that back in the olden days. He let us play with liquid mercury AND sit in his lap while he blew smoke rings with his Lucky Strikes. Eek!

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  22. No grandfathers for me, as they(3) were gone before I arrived. But my maternal grandmother was the one who came for Xmas with us, and we stayed in her adorable bungalow when we visited. She would go to Colorado and go fly fishing with my cousins, and grew amazing tomatoes. Don’t remember anything pithy she said, but my letters always came addressed as ‘Miss Carol Ann _____’ which I loved getting. So important was I.

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  23. Oh what a fun time strolling around downtown.
    That little KC spamiel is adorable.
    My grandpa’s favourite saying was Supercog Hipperglorious. Don’t ask me why. As far as I know the only thing he smoked was pipe tobaccy.
    He always wore a shirt and vest and his pocket watch. I adored him.
    I do remember driving back from the beach when I was a kid, grandpa in the front passenger seat, grandma and me in the back.
    He spit out the window and it hit grandma in the face.
    I also remember her yelling “Art, you old shit.”

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  24. Grandpa after dinner: Take the bones for yer dog, whatsername over there.
    Me: Ooh, sorry, Grandpa. Those bones aren’t great for dogs.
    Grandpa: Bah, that’s cuz you got a sissy city dog. Get yerself a real dog.

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  25. Unfortunately, I never knew either of my grandfathers. My paternal grandfather died when my dad was 18 and my maternal grandfather left the family when my mom was 18 (he went on to get remarried and have other kids, but my mom never once talked about him). So…my dad, who I made into a grandfather with those two kids of mine, and goes by the name Papar (because he golfs and wanted to be called “Grandpar” – par, get it? – but my son couldn’t say that and it came out “Papar” which stuck), has always said…”Life is not a dress rehearsal” and “Don’t get excited on your first cruise.”
    And I love that coat on you!

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  26. One grandfather died when I was 5, and the other hardly ever spoke. But my favorites from my paternal grandmother were “Everyone sinks to their own level” (her version of “water seeks its own level”) and “There and back again, all in the same day!” (said in a tone of wonder belonging to someone born in the late 1800s).

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  27. My only grandpa died when I was in 5th grade, and I know we MUST have talked, I have fond memories of him, but I can’t remember anything specific. I think I remember “Dammit, Bert!” but I might be copying Tee’s “Dammit, Florence!” I remember he and my grandma bickering back and forth a lot. And the games. We played Yahtzee and Kings in the Corner for dimes. When he was done with his turn he would knock on the table.

    Thanks for the trip downtown!

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  28. My PaPa on my dad’s side was a very sweet little old man. He either called you sister, brother, or neighbor. I can’t ever remember hearing him say anything bad about anyone. One time my mom made a cheese ball that didn’t turn out well, and they ended up feeding it to the dogs. He looked outside and said “ Look at them out there licking their butts to get the taste out of their mouths.” Everyone froze and then cracked up.

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  29. It’s hotter than blue blazes! Also—it’s colder than blue blazes!
    I don’t know what blue blazes are if they are very very hot and very very cold.

    He also loved to “teach me cheers” (I was a cheerleader)
    Papa’s team is red hot! Georgia’s team is green snot!

    Watermelon watermelon watermelon rind, look on the scoreboard and see who’s behind! YOU YOU YOU YOU!

    Kill ‘em! Kill ‘em! Blood makes the grass grow!

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  30. My paternal grandpa was dead before I was born. My maternal grandpa was an uneducated farmer. All I can ever remember him saying was “a-yuh.” He was a man of few words. They lived about an hour from us so we didn’t hang out.

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  31. My grandfather told me in 1976: “When you go out with a boy, keep a quarter between your knees and don’t bring home the change.”

    He also said “When you leave home, your end of the table gets cut off.”

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  32. Good Lord willin and the crick don’t rise. Colder than a well digger’s ass in huckleberry time. Her ass was working buttonholes. Couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the directions on the heel. Didn’t know whether to shit or go blind. I got a million…

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  33. My granddaddy didn’t cuss. Oh, he would walk all the way around a curse word but would not actually curse. So he would say, daddastitgalldarnitfudgeyourmomma and eat a biscuit. Now I have no idea why you would need to eat a biscuit after such a tirade of unspeakable words but I like my biscuits with honey.

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  34. Loved this post. So many laughs and great shops in GSO.

    “Dammit, Florence!” (My grandmother’s name was Florence). My Pop retired when I was 5 and he did a lot of swinging on the front porch. He and my grandmother dipped snuff and my grandmother would raise hell with him when we (me and my brother) would knock over his spit can on the porch. It was not a good thing. He would always address my and my brother, “well, boys.” I haven’t thought of this in years, thanks for the memories.

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    1. Tee, you just reminded me that my great uncle used to address me as boy just to make me mad. He thought it was a hoot.

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  35. My PaPa’s favorite saying was “there’s no sense spending money on weddings or funerals, because you’re just as married and you’re just as dead.” He made us promise we would bury him in a pine box, and do you know they don’t make pine caskets anymore? We buried him in an oak one and all worried he would come back to haunt us. (He didn’t.)

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    1. My mom wants a pine box too. My husband has it built and ready to go. She is a happy camper now.
      My grandad smoked a pipe. The smell reminds me of him to this day…I catch a whiff of it every once in awhile and fills me with love.

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  36. My very Southern grandfather used to say he felt “Fresh as a Junebug’s ass” anytime someone would ask him how he was doing. (He was not a well man.)

    He was diabetic, but his entire house was filled with grape bubble gum and those orange marshmallowy circus peanuts. And racing forms. And plaid golf pants slung over every surface. He was my favorite! Thanks for making me think of him on this otherwise cold and crappy Monday morning!

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          1. When I was young enough to fit in the seat in the grocery cart, Mom would sometimes let me choose a little bag of those Brach’s Kentucky Mints at checkout if I’d been good. They were maybe five cents.

            Romcomdojo’s grandfather’s “Fresh as a Junebug’s ass” reminds me of an older businessman who was in my community college class. “How are you, Richard?” “Finer than frog’s hair.”

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            1. My gramma always had those soft peppermint sugar sticks. If I had a tummy ache, she’d tell me to suck on one of those. I always just chewed them up and asked for more and now I think I know why I always had a tummy ache at gramma’s house.

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    1. I found a pair on Amazon. They shipped from Hawaii, arrived yesterday, are on my feet and they feel WONDERFUL.

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  37. My grandfather said “Wutteecutt” instead of “Whatchamacallit”. I don’t know if I am spelling either of these right. I have never heard another human being use that word in my lifetime so who knows why he used it or where it came from.

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  38. Oh and also June – for future reference: if your spinach is destined to end up in your smoothie, you can freeze it. Just stick the whole bag in the freezer. I don’t recommend this approach for salads though.

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    1. I think I saved about a hundred dollars a year on spinach and other various greens after someone told me that particular tip! Now I buy the frozen greens from Whole Foods when they go on sale and stock up with 4-5 bags at a time, and in the freezer they go. If they’re going in smoothies anyway, no reason to buy fresh and then end up throwing out when they’re a slimy swamp thing after a week in the fridge.

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      1. Yes! It gets crispy, but once it’s blended you’ll never know the difference. You can cook it from frozen, too! I always have a freezer full of partial bags of greens, berries, bananas, pineapple – anything that’s about to go bad gets popped into a freezer bag for later. I can make a smoothie at the drop of a hat!

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  39. What a weekend you had! Your town has so much fun stuff going on. Mine – snow. That’s it. Our excitement is snow. And people on my neighborhood FB page bitching about how no one else is helping them clear the snow from the fire hydrants. Which is just a veiled way of letting us all know that they did the clearing. Whatever. Just don’t burn your house down until spring and it’s fine.

    I could not repeat most of the stuff my grandpa used to say – he was a colorful man. And by colorful, I mean racist. But he would say things to tiny me like “how can you have a headache – you’ve got a hinder on both ends!” or “what do you mean your back hurts – all you’ve got there is a hook to hang your hinder on!” He was not big on listening to complaints. And really, at 5 years old what was I doing complaining? He and I were BFFs – we hung out together nearly every day before I started school. And “don’t tell your ma” was his mantra – “don’t tell your ma I let you steer the car” or “don’t tell your ma I let you drink beer at lunch… again”. Oh the fun we had! He knew everybody in our small town, so I got to hear all the gossip as we went visiting and lots of grown up stuff that it took me years to put together. We ate lunch at the local bars or at one of the many funerals that we attended together. Like I said, he knew everybody and someone was always dying. When we got back in the car we’d rate the funeral based on A. how many people were there B. the service (too short, too long, too weepy) and C. the food the church ladies provided for lunch. It was like an early Yelp for the grieving. (FYI – the Lutheran ladies did the absolute best lunches.Their Jello salads could not be beat!)

    Ah… thanks for stirring the grandpa memories June!

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    1. My grandpa used to take me to the local liquor store (Cork and Bottle – what a great name!) where my great uncle worked. It was fun because he would sit me up on the counter and I would talk to Uncle Milt’s Myna Bird.

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  40. The jacket is you but not the hats. My grandpa was a grumpy old man and my grandma was a hateful shit who hated most of my cousins but for some reason liked me and my brother. They were a perfect match for each other. My grandmother fell and broke her shoulder and Grandpa would not let her take her pain medicine because “I don’t want her to become a dope fiend”. He was also a racist old bastard who hated starlings. He used to say that “Starlings were the Nword of birds and all the other birds hated them too”. Despite his wonderful demeanor I do have a few good memories with him. He taught me to reload shotgun shells and would give us a roll of pennies every year at Christmas.

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  41. “Better out than in!” Referring to gas, of course. He also chewed Red Man tobacco most of my life and when asked what he was eating from that pouch would reply “cookies.” That didn’t go over so well when my little brother decided to sneak some of Grandpa’s cookies!!

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  42. Not so much a saying per se, but an adorable mispronunciation. My Grandpa always called Barq’s rootbeer “Barges” rootbeer. He thought the Q was a G. It still cracks me up for some reason.

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  43. I feel so off-center now, because I can’t remember my paternal grandfather ever uttering a word, to anyone and my other grandfather was far from talkative, around children anyway. I do remember one time when I was maybe 6 or 7 I told him he looked like Popeye, to which he replied, “Well you look like Olive Oyl.” I stomped off and went home. He was kind to me and loved me, but I have no other memory of something he said to me. Aunt K

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  44. what the hell is low-porosity hair, and why is this an epiphany? Yes I know the Google but you should tell your readers why this matters.

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    1. I had a wilted spinach salad with warm bacon dressing at a fancy inn years ago. It was perhaps the best salad of my life.

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  45. Don’t tell your Grandma. That is my best most vivid memory of what my Papa would say. Can I take the rowboat out in the creek? Can I walk five blocks to the store for some candy? Can I watch Bewitched? Can I watch DarkShadows? Can I have some coffee? Don’t tell Grandma. I lived a heck of a life between the ripe old ages of 60 and 120 months.
    I watched a few episodes of Tidying Up yesterday. Gave me anxiety. I switched over to The Marvelous Mrs Maisel and eight hours later I was still watching.

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    1. See Tidying UP gave me major anxiety. Those people have way too much stuff. For crying out loud, just get rid of all that useless stuff. Toss it already. I don’t have time to hold a 40 year old sweater that has more holes than Swiss cheese and ask myself if it brings me joy. Hell no it doesn’t bring me joy, it brings me anxiety. (Ok, I might have a bit of a problem.)

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