June's stupid life

JA

Well, here we all are again. Our metal chairs in a circle, with our styrofoam cups of coffee. Hiiii, June.

This was a social weekend, or a sosh weekend if you’re going for World’s Most Annoying. It’s also a time that I note that even though I paid for extra Botox, I see I have a bunny wrinkle up near my nose. Annoy.

On Friday night, we had a special pop-up concert in the studio space at our work, and I am with you on pop-up anything being annoying. The only thing I want to see pop up is your man parts. Anyway, I didn’t go, but then I saw videos of it on Instagram and it looked pretty great and I had the regretsies. Hey, where’d that World’s Most Annoying award go?

I also had my weekly dinner with the people in my neighborhood. In my neighborhood. In my neigh-bor-hood, and? I didn’t go. Also, too, it was First Friday downtown, and you know I like going to First Friday downtown, and yet? I also didn’t go to that, either.

Instead, I took time out to lie on my couch and stare angrily into space for about three hours.

wate. wy we angree?

On Saturday, though, I got up and did my weekly cleaning, after last week’s orange-on-the-side-table humiliation, and then The Poet came over for tarot cards and tea.

Disclaimer: Not The Poet. But LOOK how that litter gets fekking everywhere. It drives me insane. Does anyone have a solution other than to throw the cats out, which I’ve considered?

I’d show you a picture of The Poet’s visit, but what I didn’t realize is my 1099 from Amazon is in the foreground, with all my important info on it like my real name, my address, my sosh security number. That minor stuff.

Okay, there. I’ve managed to crop the shit out of it. I forget what we were eating. Oh! Gluten-free chips. They were delicious.

Disclaimer: Not a photo of a person.

On Saturday night I got together with a friend I’ve gotten together with a few times and never mentioned, a thing he pointed out Saturday. “I notice you said YOU went to see the Laurel & Hardy movie and you didn’t mention me,” he said.

“Well, for one, I don’t have a blog name for you yet,” I pointed out, and after much deliberation, including a terrible discussion about the option of Ray-Ray, we have landed on Twin B. His blog name is Twin B. I wish to never hear the word Ray-Ray ever again.

Anyway, as you know, from your Big Book of June Events, I can’t drink anymore because it always gives me a migraine, and then I go out and say, Well, maybe I can have a drink, so Saturday night, I had ONE and fell drunk as a lord because I’m out of practice. It was a very manly sparkling rosé. Which is exactly what John Wayne knocked back at the saloon.

Fortunately, we sat there from like 7 to 11, so I sobered up. Then I went home and got a migraine.

Yesterday I did my grocery shopping and I was all, WHY IS EVERYONE HERE and realized, when I asked a grocer where the canned pumpkin was, that it was fekking Super Bowl Sunday and I literally had no idea.

It was over in the baking, not the canned vegetables. Don’t throw me off like that. I never darken the baking aisle. I kind of forget that aisle is there. Also? I adore it when people spell it “isle.”

Afterward, my friend The Other Copy Editor came over for tarot cards and tea. Yes, I know. It was a very Groundhog’s Day weekend. Literally.

Disclaimer: Not The Other Copy Editor

I forgot to take pictures of my kitchen table and my sosh security number yesterday when TOCE was here. I guess I was busy living my life and not photographing it. After she left, I did my taxes, and because I didn’t do any freelancing last year and the only extra income I got was from Amazon, I get money BACK this year for the first time since 2011, which, yay!

Oh, and finally. In summation. While I was at my kitchen table this weekend, which I seemed to be for 26 hours of it, I noted this…

Iris was over there staring at me in personal growth, which is only funny if you’ve memorized When Harry Met Sally and why haven’t you.

She’d convinced herself it was dinnertime, I think, and she was off by a mere three hours. But she kept boring into my soul, over there, till finally I looked over at her and she’d turned, and was pointedly staring at the wall. Oh, she was giving the wall the ol’ “IT DINNER TIMES” stare. Then she rotated to stare out the window intensely, then finally back to staring in my general direction again.

It was like she was on some sort of rotisserie. Poor blind Iris. Why didn’t she just look at her watch?

…Oh.

Talk at you.

Luff,
Joon

34 thoughts on “JA

  1. What the heck?!? I get busy and miss the majority of a few weeks, and Mulhouse becomes a man! Still cute though.

    I have no solution for the litter problem other than running the stick vac 4 bazillion times a day.

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  2. Mil in Da Hous has become a catten already!
    I keep thinking “Plan B.” In which case, he wouldn’t be here. Your friend, I mean.

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  3. That sounds like a great weekend. I love how your orange event brings out my inner cleaning lady. The cat litter problem. Man. I just switched over to that Tidy Cat Breeze system. It is pretty amazing but it has those little pellets. Before I switched I purchased one of those crazy litter mats from amazon. You know, the kind that is like an envelope. It catches the litter in the holes and the litter goes down into the mat itself. I gotta say, it actually worked. It’s as ugly as sin but I could not handle stepping on litter any longer.

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    1. Yes, I’ve been CONSIDERING that kind of mat. So you like it? It would appear that Milhous is a real Rockette in that litter box. I never had this problem till his blonde ass came around.

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      1. That made me LOL. Perhaps this mat would work for my husband who simply CANNOT remember to hold the pizza peel level when he puts the homemade pizza in the oven and ends up dumping cornmeal all over the kitchen. I think he actually pulls it out with a “VOILA!” flourish. Or “WaLa”, if you prefer. I imagine stepping on cornmeal is much like stepping on kitty litter, no?

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  4. Of course I got the WHMS reference. When my cat stares at me like that I chat her up. She just wants my attention.

    My two tips for minimizing strewn litter: do not get the ultra fine shit. Mam, that’s the worse. Last, put a bath mat at the exit. That will catch a lot.

    Protip. 2 apps I have found to be very helpful to deal with ruminating and insomnia. Calm and Sleep restore. Specifically Sleep Restore has emdr audio pulses.

    Don’t you hate pro tip? Unless it goes with your pop up.

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  5. Okay, I think I finally got the title, based on the first line of the post. June Anonymous, right? I’m glad to be at the meeting because I might as well face it, I’m addicted to June.
    You weekend sounds lovely after Angry Friday. I love your pets. Just seeing them makes me happy. Lovely post, Joon.

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  6. Oh, I forgot to mention when you make that face, that crinkly nose wrinkle is really cute. And it’s the only wrinkle on your face, so you spent your money well.

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  7. I’m saddened that we didn’t get to name Twin B, but glad there is a Twin B in any event. Are you going to share the origin of his name, or just leave us in the dark, like poor Iris?

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    1. First of all, to me, Twin B sounds like a feminine product. Also, when he was born, his parents did not know there was a twin up in there, so Twin B was his name for several days.

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      1. Ohhh, so there are two of them. Fraternal or identical? And poor mom and dad. Had to run out and buy everything all over again. Those were the days when surprises came out instead of the 3-D, this-is-exactly-what-your-growing-in-there images they have now.

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      2. The same thing happened to my mom when my sisters were born. Technology wasn’t very far advanced in the dark ages of 1960. I think I’m going to start calling them Twin A and Twin B. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.

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        1. My youngest sibling is a twin B but it was 1970 so they knew there were twins but nothing more. I prayed for identical twin sisters and that is what my mother had. Twin A died within 48 hours so calling Twin B that would be too cruel. She was lucky to survive as a preemie then and has always longed for that twin. My mother is a fraternal twin, both female.

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  8. Iris just wanted Super Bowl snacks. I love you home, it’s so bright and cozy at the same time. Milhous has grown, just in the past week. All of a sudden he looks adult-ish.
    Tee

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  9. Yeah, I think Iris was up for some Super Bowl snacking and you let her down, what with your canned pumpkin and all. As for the litter scattered everywhere, I’m (not) sorry but my cats have to be indoor/outdoor and outdoors is where the giant litterbox lives. I just can’t deal with it. This is also why I have no dog because the thought of picking up warm poop in a plastic bag gives me the skeeves. I just enjoy the neighborhood dogs instead. Also, too, I am known to avoid social events but I hate you did it because of an anger session. I hope it helped, doing all that angering at once. It’s hard to heal.

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  10. Ahh like a fresh breath – you made me laugh on this rainy AZ morning! Marley ate a bar of soap last night – ??? why I will never know. He is a 55 lb Aussie with weird tastes! 6 yr old puppy! But Monday better now that I am still laughing about the pop up! ha ha

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    1. My dog used to be obsessed with my bath and body works lotion, he would lick it off me faster than I could put it on.

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  11. I am going to use the line “The only thing I want to see pop up is your man parts.” every single day. I literally laughed out loud when I read that. I really hope I don’t accidentally use that line at work.

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  12. Iris was angrifying at you because no snacks on Superbowl Sunday! No one cares about the game but would it kill you to have some guacamole and anchovies? That’s my educated guess. Lovely weekend, Coot. I did taxes too.

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  13. Taxes on freelance work are horrific. Glad you’ve saved yourself from that mess.
    Sorry to hear that you required three hours of angry staring, but I hope that worked things out.

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      1. So now you’ve got him (Ned) out of your system, like washing that man out of your hair, and you can wander over to the personal growth section and stock up for the future.

        Also, Iris’ bib is really gorgeous.

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  14. I just love your house. It always looks so cozy there. Maybe it’s the light. My husband insists on these dumb LED light bulbs which, to me, are one step away from fluorescent tubes. Everything is just so white.

    You had so many fun social events to avoid! My favorite kind of weekend!

    Is Twin B reading us?

    Lovely post lovely June!

    Hey Iris! We’re over HERE!

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