June's stupid life

Advice Day.

In the comments recently, someone came up with a great idea, and I’d love to credit the person by name but here’s my scenario:

Comments usually come in the morning, once I’ve posted, until midafternoon. Then everyone seems to get over it.

I’m work work work working during that time. I’ll see I have an email, and more likely than not that email is a comment because no one in real life sends emails anymore. They text. Remember when everyone emailed those horrible things that were all Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: 10 Reasons a Cucumber is Better Than a Man?

Ugh. It doesn’t take long for the mediocre to infiltrate everything.

My point is, I’ll be in the middle of work and I’ll say, Oh, an email and I read it and sometimes guffaw and then go back to work. So I can’t remember who sent this suggestion or what day it was, but whoever you are, please speak up in today’s comments and take credit.

The suggestion was that people write in with their woes, and then we, as readers of the woe, can comment back with our advice. So I guess we could do this two ways.

  1. We could start writing our woes, everything from love affairs to child-rearing to how to change a faucet (which might be my current woe) (just to throw a scenario out there) (I haven’t enjoyed a shower since September), in the comments and we could answer them in the comments.
  2. We could email the woes to me, I pick one, make it the subject of one blog post, and people write advice in the comments.

I like option one. Makes more sense, right? And it’s less work.

Maybe, like, every so often I’ll say, Okay, today is advice day, and then if you need advice on anything, you can ask in the comments, and anyone who can help you can reply to your comment in the comments.

Say “comment” one more time, June.

So, today is advice day.

I’ll start. Does anyone have trouble with running out of hot water when your tank is just 4 years old? Does anyone have a faucet that, when you pull the thing for the shower, doesn’t 100% work, and some of the water floops out the faucet, still, and not from the showerhead? Does anyone have a window in their shower? How do you circumvent that?

WHY CAN’T I ENJOY A SHOWER?

All right. Your turn.

109 thoughts on “Advice Day.

  1. My water heater is about four-years-old. I have plenty of hot water, but it takes forever to actually heat up enough for me to take a shower. I have to let the water run for several minutes before I can get into the shower without screaming. A few months ago, a plumber came out and did the drain thing with the water hose. He said I have very hard water and he wasn’t able to get all the sediment out. It didn’t really help much at all. After showering, the thing makes the craziest noises. Do any of y’all have this problem? What did you do about it? I don’t want to buy a new hot water heater every four years. I asked the plumber what I should do and he basically just shrugged his shoulders, pulled his pants up, and handed me a bill for $75.

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    1. Dana – we have super hard iron-filled water from a well. When we replaced the heating element inside our current water heater, which is a lot older than yours, it made a big difference – we went from hurrying through a shower before the water got cold to the water staying hot longer than even a lazy shower required. If you know someone handy with such things – a friend or friend of a friend maybe, have them look at the coils and see if they are yucky. A plumber just wants you to buy a new one and pay him to put it in, in my opinion.

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  2. The full spectrum of topics for advice made me smile. Any place you can get advice on careers, marriage, dating and faucets at the same time is a place I want to be!
    Looking forward to more Advice Days!
    Way to go, June!
    (Perhaps I need advice on how to use punctuation other than exclamation points)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well…here goes. Married to a nice guy for 19 years. Stopped having sex 7 years ago. It hurt me. He was tested and found to have low testosterone. We don’t talk about that at all. ever. I’ve tried and he gets his feelings hurt and instantly gets angry. He has always had anger issues….never violent funny enough. We have 2 beautiful daughters that are now teenagers. I care about him deeply but just about everything he does irks me….never showers, never brushes his teeth, snores so loud i can’t sleep in room…refuses to wear cpap machine, very lazy, very childlike in his abilities to deal with stressful situations, low self esteem since being laid off from a long term job, etc etc, I am not happy. I feel like I settled. Here’s the thing….if I were to leave him and totally disrupt my girls lives I would probably not seek out another guy. I just don’t think I would….I don’t think it would be worth the hassle….plus I have major self esteem issues. So ….stay in it and accept it for how it is and how my life will probably play out OR jump ship…which scares the hell out of me to be honest.

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    1. We should never feel like we settled. I didn’t have kids to consider, but when my ex and I divorced I was absolutely terrified. I was scared about financial issues, scared to live alone, scared I would be lonely, etc. I’m not going to lie – getting through the divorce was emotional hell for me. But within 3 days of moving into my own place I felt a peace that I’d never felt before. Within a year, I had my financial situation in a much better place than I ever did when I was married (debt free and able to save) even though I had no one to share the expenses with anymore. And I realized I had felt lonelier with him next to me in the bed than I did once I was actually alone. I would never tell anyone they should get divorced since I’m not in their shoes and living their life, but I’m sharing with you that the fears I had turned out to be for nothing.

      Liked by 3 people

    2. Look up low testosterone..you would be surprised what all it can effect.
      I guess the doctor recommended something for his low testosterone( does he do any of it).
      Read up on low testosterone…one thing is excersize 20 minutes 4 times a week. Plus get plenty of protein in his diet. Take vitamin D and zinc.
      Let him know you feel like getting healthier and see if he will walk with you after supper or go to the gym with him.
      Depression is one of the symptoms.
      Look up natural ways , if he isn’t willing to go to doctor about it. He went before. Talk to that doc again.
      I know some days it is hard to put one foot in front of the other to get going for yourself…it is very difficult to help someone else(esp. if he doesn’t want help.
      You could send him info by mail anonymously about it , so he can see what is possibly affecting his mood and such.

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    3. Suggest he get medical help. When women start menopause the doctor offers hormone replacement therapy, why can’t men get the same help.

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    1. I didn’t see where you mentioned you had a problem with the shower head, but I would still recommend getting a handheld one. And get one with a LONG cord so you can wash Edsel so much easier. You’ll love it. They’re not terribly expensive and make it so much nicer to rinse the tub out after scouring it or bathing Edsel. You should be able to unscrew your current shower head, wrap the threads (grooves) with Teflon tape and screw on the new hose for the handheld. Look at Waterpiks. You can do it.

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    2. I had the same problem with water pressure in my new place. Bought a handheld shower head so I can adjust the force of the water. I agree, it also comes in really handy for cat box cleaning, rinsing the tile, etc. Best purchase I ever made.

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  4. I would love to get advice about online dating. Which site is the least terrible. How in the world do I write a description of myself?
    I have five kids I homeschool. My hobbies are sewing, crocheting, and reading and I have the sense of humor of a twelve year old. I feel like I sound like an old lady. I’ve been single for two years now and I’ve gone on one not terrible date (the date was ok, the person was a mess).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bumble isn’t bad. If your town has enough Bumblers, anyway.

      What I do is kind of leave out the boring parts and say the “real me” parts. I like my coffee black and my humor dark. I don’t believe in having a TV in the bedroom. I’m an avid indoorswoman.

      I mean, everyone’s gonna say the same thing, so be unique. I can’t stand people who say they’re looking for someone who loves to laugh. Who the fuck doesn’t love to laugh?

      Liked by 5 people

    2. I’ve had halfway decent success on Ok Cupid. Match.com is awful. I’ve tried it twice and will never do it again. And I agree with June…be different. I have had so many guys say my profile was very unique because everyone else writes the same damn thing: “I’m not good at writing about myself. I like walking on the beach and dogs and eating good food and laughing.” Mine said stuff about how great I am at falling downs stairs like a boss and breaking bones, I can say the alphabet with my eyes closed, and other very dumb things. Honestly, mine was super stupid but it caught guy’s attention and they mostly said it was hilarious compared to all of the other profiles they had read. I had some guys write me and say they didn’t think we would be a good match, but they just wanted to tell me my profile was a breath of fresh air. So be dumb and weird. And post a couple of ridiculous photos and not just ones that have filters to make yourself look great. I posted ones in Halloween makeup and wigs, etc. and guys told me they loved that.

      Liked by 3 people

    3. You might have to try out a couple different sites depending on where you live. I live in WV, and if the site was free, they crawled out of the hollers to be on there. For me Match, with having to pay, weeded out some of the riffraff. Is eHarmony still a thing? I liked it, but the questionnaire was too much for WV. There wasn’t one match in my age group in the state. Be yourself. Have fun!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Paint your windowsill with Thompsons water seal.
    A faucet isn’t hard to change, YouTube is your friend.

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      1. Bathtub faucets: they apparently just twist off! (!!!)

        (I know this because our thingy was getting stuck, too, and so I asked for Assistance, and behold, I totally could have done it. Our faucet just needed a bath in CLR to clear out the hard water deposit, but also, they are cheap, you can just get a new one.)

        (that said, with plumbing projects, things can always go wrong, so there is that. But this literally just twisted off, and then needed a line of caulk around it after it was twisted back on. And that totally shocked me, as I thought Faucets Must Be Complicated.)

        So person above might not have been trying to be snotty. (or they might have been, I am not a mind-reader) Because I was *shocked* but maybe some people just know this stuff and therefore think they can just state the obvious…

        (also, seconding the privacy cling film for the bathroom window, if it is people-maybe-seeing-in that is the issue – I love that stuff.)

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        1. I was so confused! I didn’t read that as snotty at all, so I wondered what I missed. Thanks for the info: I didn’t know faucets were easy. I second the bath in vinegar or CLR.

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      2. If that was for my reply, I wasn’t being snooty, it’s just that everything is on youtube, I use it to change belts on my car, make ghost traps. Changing door knows because apparently they have screws that don’t look like screws and I couldn’t hammer that bitch off.

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          1. Yes, I made it for my grandson. The video was 15 minutes, I spent 50 dollars in supplies and 12 hours making it. It turned out nice though.

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  6. My question is: I am 59 years old and have made a lateral transfer to a new department at the job where I have been employed for almost eight years. I still am unhappy. Should I plunge out into the job market and find a new job or stay put until retirement at 70?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You can take your 401(k) with you. You can negotiate for the same amount of vacation you get now. There’s no such thing as a pension anymore. I still say life is too short.

        >

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        1. Sometimes I see unhappy people take the unhappiness with them when they change jobs. Just be sure of your motivation. Look for a new job, take your time and learn how to interview the hiring manager so you don’t get into the same situation that made you unhappy in the first place.

          Liked by 4 people

      2. I do worry about a recession. But the thought of being at this particular company until I’m 70 (and a hot 70 of course) really runs my fur the wrong way.

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  7. Dear June,

    Is the heater turned to a low heat? Make sure its between 120 and 140 degrees, and don’t use too many appliances at the same time that are drawing from the hot water supply. Other than that, if the dip tube is broken, the water doesn’t get a chance to heat, and plastic pieces from the dip tube can be clogging the shower pipe and head. Or there is a sediment buildup. Of course I got all this advice from Google.

    P.S. Weather proof your window with a cute patterned plastic window seal and no one can see you and you won’t be shivering.

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    1. L, her water heater is only fours years old, too young for the dip tube causing the problem, according to my husband, but there could be sediment build up.

      June, there should be a faucet at the bottom of the tank, this is where you can drain the tank to help rid it of the sediment. Connect a water hose to the faucet and run it to the outside.
      Watch to see if the water is muddy (here in GA we have red mud/sediment). Be sure to turn off the water supply and cut the thermostat back so the heater doesn’t come on while the tank is being flushed out. I would try this before calling in the professional. Where is the water heater located? Inside the house or under the house. If this has been done, call the plumber. Said kindly.
      Tee

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      1. Tee, I had high winds blow out my pilot light on the hot water tank in the garage (twice) this month. I had to learn how to use the electric spark control thingy or I would have to go to work smelling and looking like a greasy mess. I’m afraid of it but I did learn how. I hope June’s issue is fast, cheap, and uncomplicated. Cuz cold freaking shower water is the worst.

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  8. Beth raising hand a little at being the one to suggest this, but only after June mentioned she was involved in a similar idea elsewhere says:

    Spray W D 40 in your water diverter (the little knob you pull up to change from tub to shower head water), work it up and down several time to loosen the crud and then do it again, until freely moving. Crud builds up in there, water sediments. I might also try some vinegar if WD40 doesn’t seem to do the trick .

    Shower head. Put vinegar in a bag and tie with a twist tie around the shower head so head is in vinegar … let soak about 15 minutes ,take bag off , run shower to clear vinegar out.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. WD-40 is a miracle drug. I use it everywhere (well,not quite everywhere). If WD-40 won’t fix it, I’ll throw the damn thing out! Even got me into my igloo of a car after the giant ice storm in CT a few weeks ago.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If you add baking soda to the vinegar it will make a foaming mess everywhere but also help clean, just run lots of hot water down the drain after pouring it out so as to not cause a clog.

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  9. You probably need a new faucet/shower head. I agree- check the valve thingy and also the temperature on the water heater. My husband used to keep it set really lukewarm and I started adjusting it a little at a time until it now scalds is immediately. I would explain his asinine energy savings theory but I don’t want to get angry this early.

    I have a work issue but it’s involved and I need to go in to work now. I may try to come back at lunch.

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  10. My problem:
    My husband has training this week for work. It happens to be an hour away from our home. He decided to stay in a hotel near the training instead of driving back and forth for four days. He used to work 20 minutes past where he is training and staying so the commute wouldn’t be unreasonable.

    My question:
    Is it unfair for me to feel hurt that he wants to take this “vacation” from his family?

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    1. I think you’re allowed to feel however you want to feel. I mean, it’s never “unfair” to feel anything. Will his hours be longer during this training than they would be for regular work? I mean, is that it?

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        1. Hunh. So, what’s his story? Why is he saying he wants to do that? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I would too. It’s a long damn-ass drive to make every day.

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          1. I think that is what makes me so cranky. I can’t choose to go away, even for just an afternoon. We have kids, I can’t go.

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    2. No it’s not unfair. I’m guessing there are other people at the training who are staying there and hanging out, going to drinks, etc and he wants to be a part of it. And you don’t get a vacation (even though it’s partly disguised as work)
      My husband is in the army and is at a school for a year right now. I could have moved with him but I didn’t want to move my kids for one year.
      So he basically has class half and day M-F and then nothing. It pisses me off every time he describes hanging out with friends, playing golf, etc while I’m here doing both of our responsibilities in the family.
      I could have gone with him, but I’m still mad that he’s getting a vacation from his family.
      So I think you’re feelings are completely valid.

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    3. An hour commute makes me very grumpy. A week of training makes me grumpy (I am in four weeks of training now for a new position). Sleeping on hotel beds make me grumpy. So personally, I’d stay in a hotel and sneak in a gel mattress pad …. but I’d still be grumpy.

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    4. You feel how you feel. It’s not wrong. I would feel the same way, personally – he gets the peace and quiet and meals out, etc. and you get to do what you always do. I would plan now for time for yourself – even if it’s in a month because you need to get family or a friend or him to stay home and do all the crap that needs done in addition to being with the kids. I know a lot of people say “girls weekend” but I don’t really have friends to do that with. Howver, many MANY times I would have bled out a vein to get a hotel room to myself for a few nights, watch what I want, eat what I want, get up early or sleep half the day. It will bring you home in a better mindset.
      My in-laws once said it was selfish of me to do that, but it put me in a better place emotionally, I got some rest, and no one died.

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  11. My in-laws had a window in their shower that was more than 60 years old – never had an issue with it rotting. It was still in perfect shape when we sold the house a few years ago. The window was framed with tile (the whole shower was tiled) but the actual window itself was wood. I suppose it also has to do with the quality of the window to begin with – I mean, we had all wood windows in our house that started rotting after only 12 years. They’ve all been replaced now. My in-laws house still had windows that were original to the house – obviously they started with better windows.

    I love the idea of advice day! I have no pressing issues right now, but when I do I will hover here anxiously awaiting the moment that June says “annnnnnnnnd GO!” Which you are as likely to say as veggies, baby bump and sitch.

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    1. Or LOL. That guy I’ve been talking to, Twin B, and I have been texting things like, “I am now laughing and it is audible.” Just to avoid the dreaded ell oh ell.

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      1. THIS.

        Just kidding. My husband still thinks LOL means “laughing on line”. It annoys me that he doesn’t know online is one word. That’s literally the current sitch with my totes cray cray hubster. I can’t even. Just sayin’.

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          1. He does. He’s smart in lots of ways, but he really needs to keep up. One of my boys tried to explain the hashtag to him one time – it was frightening.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. OH and last night he asked me “I just watched a really good movie – have you ever heard of Freddie Mercury? What an amazing guy!”

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  12. We had the same issues (leaky faucet and intermittent hot water) with our shower. The plumber changed out the part behind the handle that regulates the water flow and keeps you from getting scalded. It was a $60 part but much better than having to replace our tankless water heater that we thought was the problem.

    I also have a wood window in the shower. We cover it with a cut down or folded curtain liner. I’ve been doing that for over twenty years but I doubt it was covered for the first 55 years of this house and it’s in great shape.

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  13. How many gallons does your water heater hold? Is the water in your area really hard? That could cause deposits to build up in your water heater and gradually decrease its capacity.

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    1. You know, the guys who came to fix it and didn’t actually fix it found all sorts of stuff on those U-shaped tubes that go in a water heater, and they were surprised. That said, I never know how people know if they have hard water or not. I also never know what people mean when they say they’re high-waisted. What? You’re…what?

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      1. If you have soft water it is more difficult to rinse the soap out of your hair. You probably have hard water if there were mineral deposits on your elements. My guess is that your bottom element has gone out and you will need to drain the tank, clean out the bottom of the water heater and put in a new element. In other words, call a plumber.

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  14. My water pressure wasn’t what I thought it should be, and the plumber renovating the bathroom told me that the shutoff valve in the basement not only had an on/off handle but also had a thing regulating how much water could enter the system. He turned that a bit and now the water pressure is fine. See if you have one of those valves.

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    1. That was a PRV (pressure reducing valve) which is necessary if the water pressure is high coming in to the house, because it can damage the pumps in your washer and dishwasher and cause the pressure valve on the water heater to open and spew water to the outside.

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  15. I have a great job with great benefits and I don’t mind my actual job I just hate coming to the office. I am the only person in my building who does my job, the rest of my team and boss are in another state. I had a previous boss who let me work from home whenever I wanted which was great as I only talk to work people through phone or email. Now they say I have to come to the office and it is just so stupid I cannot find peace with it. I know, easy first world problem but that is what is bothering me today. At least what I am willing to share….

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    1. Anon, how does your employer know you are actually in the office? Do you have to use their phones and computer, or could you start using your cell phone and computer? That way you are portable. Please understand I am probably the most technically challenged person that comments here at June’s not blog, so my simple suggestion might be stupid from a technical standpoint.

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      1. I most likely could work from home without them knowing but my current boss has said she wants me to let her know when I work from home. She has been great about a day here or there but I want scheduled days at home like I used to have. I was planning on approaching it with my boss soon but I have only been working for her for a few months and want her to get a feel for me as an employee before I approach her. But my boss’ boss is not a fan of working from home and I think she would say well we have to run it by my boss and I know she will say no as I worked for her directly in the interim before my current boss was hired.

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    2. Greetings, Anon for today…it may seem obvious, but you don’t say one way or another if you have directly asked to be permitted to work from home. If you have not, my suggestion would be to craft a well thought out email to send to the decision making individual, pointing out the benefits to the company ( and to you ) for being permitted to do so. Good luck!

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      1. This is good. Whenever someone has a work problem, my thought is always, Quit in a huff. It’s been my signature move. And look at how successful I’ve become. Look at all the rungs below me on that corporate ladder.

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    3. Maybe you could get something from your previous boss stating what a good job you did working from home. I think sometimes employers figure you would just “work” from home, if you know what I mean.

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  16. Yes, you need a plumber. I suggest Les Plumbing in GSO. They are really great. Rhonda, who answers the phones, isn’t exactly what you would call friendly on the phone, but she’s helpful and will get one of the guys out to you ASAP. Their number is (336) 233-4879. As far as the window is concerned, if it’s a vinyl window, you’re fine. If it’s wood, then it is a worry and you should probably start saving to change it out for vinyl.

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    1. You can use a tension curtain rod in your shower window frame to hang a curtain liner if the window is inset a little bit. Curtain liners come in a fabric too, not just plastic.

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  17. Sounds like your shower needs an urologist. Maxine and Herm had a window in their shower. You could cut down a shower liner or curtain to cover it and keep the water away from the wood of the window. Aunt Kathy

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Could your hot water heater possibly be turned down too low? I have no idea if that can cause you to run out of hot water. For the window, I think there are window clings that make it impossible to see inside. I’ve seen some that make the window look foggy and our neighbors have covered their French doors in one that looks like circles or bubbles or crystals. Something round and light catching. I’ll try to think of an advice question for later.

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      1. Oops! No idea what to do about keeping the window rot at bay. We have old wooden framed windows that need replacing if for no other reason than they look terrible, but I think it will be expensive. Maybe just changing out the one to vinyl as someone else suggested wouldn’t be too expensive.

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      2. My first home was built in 1940 and we had a wooden counterweight window in the shower. I ordered a big oval shower rod that hung down from the ceiling and put up a shower curtain on both sides. I did not want to put on a show for the whole neighborhood.

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        1. A. My house was built in 1932, so I’m feeling you. B. Of course, I sort of DO want to put on a show for the whole neighborhood, but you knew that. C. What’s a counterweight window? Ima google it. D. I know. I should get a curtain, right? Then I’ll spend my whole shower making myself narrow to avoid TWO shower curtains.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. V. The window has a weight and rope system to raise and lower the window. So the widows are loose and rattle during thunderstorms. 69. I would so put on a show now….

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              1. Beth raising hand a little at being the one to suggest this, but only after June mentioned she was involved in a similar idea elsewhere says:

                widows………..now that is hilarious

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      1. I had a boyfriend who insisted that scald meant being reprimanded and scold meant being burned by water… drove me nuts. He also thought that “statue” meant the same thing as “statute” and “statute” was a made up word!

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  19. You can have the diverter, the thing you pull up, replaced or they may have to replace the whole thing. Definetly need a plumber or a very handy, handyman. windows in the shower are stupid The End

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