I didn’t watch the Oscars. I don’t have TV. I called a couple people and I was all, “You watching the Oscars?” and they were all, “Yep.” And then I waited pregnantly for my invitation and none was forthcoming and goddammit.
Then I tried to get it on my phone. ABC, not friends. But get this—you can’t load the app and view ABC on your phone if you don’t have cable. What the hell? It’s not a cable channel. Why should I need that?
Fortunately, you can immediately see Oscar highlights online, so that worked. Also, everyone I called was a good enough friend that I just could have just said, “I’m coming over to watch with you” but I didn’t do that. Because in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m exceedingly polite.
Actually, I did get invited to one place. Cardinal, my boyfriend from high school, invited me over.
Cardinal is NOT who I wrote about last week when I wrote about things I can’t forgive. Cardinal never called me a flake, despite everyone in the comments having group hysteria and referring to “when Cardinal called you a flake,” even though right there in the post I wrote that my other hs boyfriend, Giovanni Leftwich, called me a flake in 1981. A thing I’m still pissed off about.
I have to tell you that when I just typed that I’m still pissed at Giovanni Leftwich for calling me a flake in 1981 (when HE was being the flake) (still pissed), I immediately got into my head the theme from Ice Castles:
Please, don’t let this feeling end. It’s everything I am. Everything I want to be.
And then I cracked own self up and patted self lovingly, and that pretty much sums up what it’s like to be inside here.
ANYWAY. I did get invited to watch the Oscars, at Cardinal’s. Well, technically his sister’s. Sister of Cardinal. Cardinal lives outside of Seattle, but he’s been in North Carolina for more than a week, as both his parents have died, one month apart. Isn’t that awful?
Careful readers will note I went to his father’s funeral in January, but then his mother died right after that. Exactly one month to the day her husband died.
Cardinal’s sister has been living in NC for awhile, and last week Cardinal and his brother came to clear out the house and do the 10,000 things you have to do when someone dies. Probably the olden days were better when people didn’t have insurance policies and credit cards and executors.
Anyway, I traveled to where Cardinal and his sister were this weekend, and it was the World’s Worst Weather. Oh my god, with the rain. It rained hard and relentlessly, and trucks would go by and splash me, and sometimes I couldn’t see a goddamn thing, and I was June Concrete Shoulders by the time I arrived.
Then we had to get in the car and drive another half hour to Cardinal’s parents’ house. June Marble Shoulders.
Cardinal, as shown above, drove the last rainy part of our rainy journey, and I sat in back peering nervously at the road the entire time. The fact that I’m not driving never makes me any less nervous.
Cardinal’s driving has never upset me, though. There are some people whose driving always nerves me out (Ned), but as long as I can recall, Cardinal has been a careful driver with me, even though I can think of two really dumb car accidents he got into as a youth.
His sister was in the passenger seat. I wasn’t, like, playing limo.
Anyway, they’d done most of the dividing of stuff, but they had some things they thought I might like, including his sister’s pink Love’s Baby Soft Bear that STILL HELD a bottle of Love’s Baby Soft. And also, they returned my tanning blanket, and it’s about time. God.
I totally remember going to Cardinal’s, or him coming to my house, and lying in the sun on this horrific blanket, then going inside to have sex and returning to said blanket because it was still prime tanning hours, and hello, mom.
God, what a perfect afternoon. This was before we fretted about the sun’s rays and HPV. In the future, they’ll look back at this worry-about-everything time as the least-fun time since the Depression.
Cardinal had this aunt and uncle I always really liked. They were childless, and I hate to say this because you’ll think I adore self (see above ref to when I gazed fondly at self for thinking of Ice Castles), but childless couples always have this cool vibe. I guess we could point out I’m not a childless couple. I’m COMPLETELY ALONE. I wish that made me sad but I just got a little thrill of delight and skated around the ice singing my theme song again.
Anyway, his aunt and uncle, who it turns out were his GREAT aunt and uncle, had a cool vibe. I liked going to their house and hanging out on their screened-in porch, and I liked his aunt’s red hair, and her laugh while she held a glass of hard liquor on the rocks.
She had a really elaborate Christmas village that lit up that was really old and I adored it. She gave me a black ’50s embroidered sweater that I still own.
The point is, when she died, they found a bunch of black and green Depression glass that she’d left to Cardinal, and this weekend, I took the green stuff. It’s really pretty. I’d get up and take a picture for you but I’m–oh, FINE.
I should have a Depression party. We can serve bathtub gin and listen to Pink Floyd.
Anyway, that was pretty much my weekend, except that yesterday I went out and got new (white) paint and dresser handles to redo that dresser I ruined. I started sanding it yesterday and got bored. Sanding is terrible.
I also took, from Cardinal’s parents’ house, a full container of never-opened drink umbrellas and I want to do something with them. Like maybe hand them out to mice when it’s raining.
I have to go to work. I took work email off my phone because no one ever said I had to add it in the first place, and every time I get a work email on the weekend I panic, so I said, Screw this and removed it. I had the opposite of the Ice Castles song. Please, let this feeling end.
I really need to get over the theme from Ice Castles.