June's stupid life

June’s dramatic day. Oh, that sums it up.

Yesterday put the ridic in ridiculous, and say, June, I don’t think you get how that little wordplay works.

It did, though. It put the ridic in ridiculous.

First of all, I have a friend passing through a crisis, and I love to say that: passing through a crisis. It’s just so dramatic. So I was texting back and forth with We May Never Pass This Way Again about 47 times before 8:00. Then as it neared 8:00, I had to get to work.

Not literally. I’d asked to work from home for part of the morning because I had to take the dog to the vet at 9:30. I really did work from home. I didn’t air quotes work from home. I had–and this will mean nothing to you unless you work in words as I do–seven articles about 11 pages each that had fact-checking and also character counts.

Like three of you are all, Oh, wow. They give you enough time for that?

My job is constantly a fight for getting enough time to do it well. I think people think copy editing is reading. I mean, just reading. I’ve complained about that before, though, and actually they gave me 10 hours to do 7 articles that were about 11 pages apiece with fact-checking and character counts, and that was actually pretty reasonable.

So from 8 to 9:15, I copyedited some stuff. It was an article. About 11 pages. I needed to fact check. Count characters.

(When you’re writing for social media, you sometimes have to write only a certain number of words. Each letter and space counts. I would estimate that this paragraph is 190 characters right now.)

(I just checked. It was 195.)

Then, at 9:15, I got the leash and my pug went insane, and I hooked it on him and he shedded like an Australian shepherd all the way to the vet. Edsel, my German shepherd/Australian shepherd/cattle dog/FUCKING PUG, has seemed stiff in his hips lately. Not willing to get right up from lying down. That sort of thing.

Das Pug, mate

The first thing I did was show my vet his new DNA results. The dog’s, not the vet’s. That would have been weird. “Interesting results,” said the vet, who appears to have seen everything from behind her purple glasses.

As soon as my dog got diagnosed with being a German shepherd, he got diagnosed with hip dysplasia and his spine being out of adjustment. She did an adjustment on

WORLD’S SCAREDEST DOG

and then gave me this fish oil and also these supplements to start with, and if that doesn’t work we’ll use real drugs.

He already seems better after she adjusted his attitude and also his spine.

The thing about my vet is, she’s very learned, and always quotes studies and so on, and she was doing that when

MOTHER OF GOD

I remembered I was getting this fast-turnaround thing around 10 and it was 10:08.

“I HAVE TO GO!” I screeched, taking my pug with me. I called my boss on the way to the office, and she was calm while I was hysterical, and then I got there and Jane West had already done the thing.

Then, because the dog and I are Elliott and E.T., I had a chiropractor appointment at 11:30 on the next block from work. It was going to be my early lunch, and they’d wanted me to come there for an hour and a half, and I was all, Foo, I have a JOB, Foo, that’s why my neck hurts all the time.

So we agreed I’d do the paperwork ahead of time and guess who forgot till JUST THEN at 10:30. I rushed through that paperwork, and Dear People in Doctor’s Offices Who Make Forms: Don’t make me fill out the same info on different forms over and over again. And give me long enough lines.

I liked that chiropractor, though. He talked to me for a long time and explained everything and seems honest and not scammy, and then he adjusted me and I got those little circles stuck on me where they electric shock you for 20 minutes and then I went back to work and worked all day till 5:00.

Do you know what I forgot to do, though? Was eat, really. I munched casually on a sandwich at about 1:00, but I wasn’t feeling it and I was worried about getting my work done, which was 7 articles that were about 11 pages each with fact checking and character counts.

I finished right at 5:00, though, and boom.

Then I had to scream back to the vet because I had literally left without paying or taking my medicine with me, so panicked was I. THEN I had to go to my eye doctor’s place, because I ran out of contacts last week and have been wearing my glasses and I hate wearing glasses. They’re just so heavy and they slip down and make me look like I’m wearing glasses.

My glasses guy and I always end up talking forever about our failed romances. Don’t get excited: We differ politically. And he wears pleated khakis. Anyway, I stayed there longer than I’d anticipated.

Also, I realize that Paula H&B has had seven heart attacks reading this intensely like she does when I have an intense day.

THEN I screamed home at about 5:30, gave supplements and fish oil to the cattle dog, fed the cats, washed my hands for 47 minutes and ate the rest of my sandwich from lunch but I had promised self I’d go to the 6:00 showing of the live-action shorts that got nominated for an Oscar.

I don’t know why the Oscars are awarding clothes, either, and I’d have started with dresses.

Just as I started eating, the phone rang and it was my father. “Hello, daughter,” he said, being retired and in the lap of luxury.

“Hello, father,” I said, while eating.

Then the whole conversation my father kept complaining that I was eating, even though I’d given him the rundown of my timeline, there. I failed to mention the 7 articles I’d gotten done already.

“Well, it’s been fun talking to a horse,” said my father, hanging up to go enjoy the sunset or whatever the retired do.

I screamed into the car and called my mother on the way to tell her about Edsel’s hips. I told her the vet said Eds had many

many

more years to live. I sighed.

“Really, though, as he’s aged, he’s a lot less of an asshole.”

“I keep waiting to say the same about you,” said my mother, and perhaps she and my father could start a comedy school in their retirement years.

And here’s what I have to tell you about those goddamn live-action shorts.

First of all, popular. I think one guy was there working and I was the only patron in the whole theater. It was oddly thrilling and had he been remotely appealing I’d have had theater sex just to say I had.

BUT THOSE SHORTS. Don’t do it. Don’t see them. I mean it. Apparently the new thing is to upset the viewer as much as possible. The only one I liked was the one about the nice old lesbian.

Jesus. Don’t see them. And if you make short films, upsetting people does not equal art. All of them other than the old lesbian had bad things–really bad–happening to kids. I don’t even LIKE kids and those films upset me.

I had to come home and lie listlessly on the couch and recover after.

And that was yesterday and now I literally have two minutes to get to work, and I am sorry, Paula H&B.

45 thoughts on “June’s dramatic day. Oh, that sums it up.

  1. As a medical technologist, that statement applies to wearing gloves, gowns, etc. We call them part of PPE.. personal protective equipment.
    In food service, how dangerous is a bagel ? I think it is appropriate to glove up when touching unwrapped food, especially after handling money. Ducking now.

    Like

  2. Oh, I am so glad you so the Live Action Shorts as I know not one person (aside from my husband) who saw them. Not that I KNOW you, but you get my drift. Lesbian one was my fave too and holy depressing, and the Animated shorts aren’t much better. I think the Lesbian one should have won instead of that skin one with the grown up Honey boo-boo.

    Like

  3. My thoughts on your post have all been expressed already, so I will comment on Milhous. I love how marbley and swirly his fur pattern has become. Lovely post old lovely lover!

    Like

  4. I’m so confused. Was your pug with you during your entire ridic day? I hope he’s not traumatized from the ridic shorts you watched. I know how ridic I’m being, but I must’ve missed the part where you took Edsel home. Also, I just woke up from sleeping 14 hours so I’m really not right in the head, yet.

    Like

    1. Dear June: Thank you for taking an hour out of each of your mornings, especially after you’d had such a hectic day, to blog. We appreciate it, and will not dwell on it when exacting details are not included. Thanks again! Love, Readers.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dear June:
        What you said. I was too rushed reading about your hectic day to think about Eds watching Felix the Cat animated shorts. Or maybe it was Mickey Mouse with the animated shorts.
        Thanks,
        Sadie

        Like

  5. Yes about the disturbing “art”. Not art. I know art is supposed to elicit an emotional response, but if you have to horrify me that is a cheap shot. Also bad things happening to kids is the absolute worst thing ever. I won’t watch shows or read books with that in it. There is too much that happens to kids in the real world without creating fiction about it too. Poor you having that at the end of that crazy day.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I would need a couple of days prone on the couch to recover from a day like that! I am do glad Edz can be helped with some simple solutions.

    Like

  7. What a day! Count me among the many who were stressed for you while reading as hurriedly as possible to keep up with your intense schedule.

    The only relief was reading that the vet helped Edsel.

    Thanks for the heads up about the horrible shorts. Like Gretchen, I avoid watching anything that will upset me.

    Like

  8. Your day stressed me and when we got to the eating while talking on the phone I got rage-y because I cannot stand listening to people eat ESPECIALLY ON THE PHONE RIGHT IN MY EAR!!! I get stabby. Misophonia makes me such a delight!
    I hope your day today is calmer.

    Like

    1. IN MY DEFENSE, the very first thing I said was, “I haven’t really eaten today and I have only these five minutes to do so before I leave the house.”

      Like

      1. Okay, you’re forgiven then. I would’ve ended the phone call after that announcement. It’s ridiculous, but I even have to leave the room when someone eats an apple or carrots.

        Like

  9. About the shorts – I have FINALLY quit watching things that will upset me. And I know you didn’t know they would be so upsetting. But when somebody tells me, “Oh it’s SO GOOD but so sad, you’ll cry all the way through,” I know I will never watch it. I want to be entertained. I don’t want to see things that will leave me unsettled and sad for days.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I’m with you. I’m in a book group and we’ve read quite a few books about WWII over the years. Many well written books. The last selection related to WWII was titled ‘The Tattooist of Auschwitz’. I said, um, no. I passed. I’m finished with the horrible sadness. I’m in no denial regarding ‘man’s inhumanity to man’, but I can’t dwell on it anymore. I just can’t.

      Like

  10. Mama said there’d be days like this…. When I have those types of days, I go home and eat crap food and drink a glass (or two) of wine and curl up into my version of Edz’ “C.”

    Sounds like it was very productive, if not also very frantic!

    Like

  11. My gynecologist office has tablets that has all my info. All I have to do is scroll through, make any changes, and sign. That is the best thing ever and I don’t know why all doctors don’t do it that way.

    Like

    1. My doctor has the same thing, but I HATE those tablets. It does NOT keep all the information entered. WHY do I have to keep adding my emergency contact???? It’s been the same the last 52 years. Program these tables so it retains ALL items and if there is a change I’ll let them know. AARRR

      Like

  12. This repeatedly filling forms out at the doctor’s office needs to stop. The best doctors have them ready and printed and you just ok or correct things. And honestly, at my age, the only thing changing is, well, my age. The last time I went to the doctor and she started asking me the stuff I had just taken the time to write on her GD forms, I just stared at her and said “I’ll wait”. My husband was just at the doctor yesterday and when they handed him THE FORMS again to fill out, he said “no thank you” and handed them back. They said “but SIR” and he said “I’m the customer. You do the work. That’s how it goes now”. They filled them out. He signed. Now that I’ve re-read this paragraph I wonder if the problem is the amount of time we spend going to various doctors.

    My little dog had a slipped disc in her back. The regular vet said to keep her in her kennel for 6-8 weeks to allow it to heal. 23 hours a day. I said “SHE’S A RESCUE! DID YOU NOT READ HER HISTORY??” Honestly, that poor thing had spent the first two years of her life in a kennel. I might as well have just killed her right then. So we saw a vet who did chiropractic – one adjustment and she’s been fine ever since.

    Mother is a stitch. And she’s lovely! As are you, lovely June!

    Like

    1. “I’m the customer. You do the work. That’s how it goes now” I would like this on a tshirt and I would like to wear it not only to doctor’s offices but also the grocery store and every shoe department in all the department stores of the world.

      Like

      1. I was once behind a woman buying bagels, and the person serving said bagels had gloves on. She took money with gloves on, and then proceeded to head to the bagels. “Can you change your gloves, please?” the woman in front of me said. “Those gloves are to protect me, not you.” Oh my god, I loved her for saying that. I’d have never in a million years had the nerve.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I was behind a woman at a deli who similarly required a change of gloves and that the meat slicer be cleaned because she was kosher and didn’t want her meat contaminated with the cheese. I was like “Oh, lady”. She reminded me of my boss fmr (thank GOD) who used to send me to Burger King for his “kosher” Whopper – hold the cheese. I thought to myself “I think there’s something you’re missing here” but hey, I’ll just worry about my own self.

          You should eat out with my daughters – both have been industry trained in food safety. One of them once observed the waiter refilling glasses with ice by scooping directly out of the ice bin. WITH THE GLASS. She sought out the manager and did a quick re-training of his whole staff. Then we went somewhere else to eat.

          Like

  13. Your day made me tired with all of your zooming around & I was not required to go anywhere except work yesterday.

    I also have issues with poorly designed foams. Every time I’ve had a job that uses forms, I redesign them all, so that they have the proper spaces & format to write information. If they are computer based, I set them up to auto format phone numbers & dates.

    I also have a huge amount of irritation with doctors offices & their multiple page completely useless & redundant “paperwork”.

    If you are going to ask me questions to about all of this info BEFORE I fill out the form & type it in your computer? Why don’t you just put it in the computer in the first place, then generate all the forms with my information on them & then I can sign where you need me to? (Since this LOGICAL, no one seems to be able to do this.)

    The doctor ASKING me all the questions from the forms I just filled out because they DO NOT READ the form? IRKED.

    I won’t fill out my meds or OTC vitamins anymore. If they want the info, I will email them a list.

    Like

  14. Holy cow! I’m exhausted reading about your busy day. I snorted tea out my nose at your mother’s statement about you!
    Ter

    Like

Comments are closed.