June's stupid life

Lone funwoman

I hardly went anywhere all weekend and it was delightful and I’m turning into the Hermit card in the tarot deck. Or really, anywhere there’s a hermit.

June. Enjoying her alone time so she has to take selfies.

On Friday night, after work, I got up with the Lowe’s guy to see about a fence. The people who moved in next door have a lovely sweet dog that they say is a pit, but I think he’s an Australian cattle dog, and why don’t I go ahead and dogsplain like they don’t know what their dog is. I am an ass.

Anyway, the Lowe’s guy was very nice and I told him I want a six-foot privacy fence and I want it to have a little scallopy thing up top because regular fences depress me and then we went out and measured my giant yard and he said, “Okay, that’ll be $8,600.”

Holy cats.

Then I went to dinner with people from my neighborhood. I think I’ve probably told you before we have a standing appointment at 6:30 on Friday nights at the Mexican restaurant in this neighborhood, and one guy always gets this half a pineapple with chicken and shit. Not literally. The point is, half a pineapple. He used to be a judge, so he has never once picked that half a pineapple up and done a Carmen Miranda impression as I would have.

They had all sorts of ideas for me, like why don’t I use old car parts and build my own fence, or some weird metal. You’ll be stunned to hear those were ideas men came up with.

On Saturday, I drove to Lowe’s to tell them I want them to give me a fence just on the side the dog is on, and little picket fencing with a gate like I had at my old house, in the front of the yard. They will be back on Tuesday to give me a new estimate. I still won’t be able to afford it, but EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS? Come on.

While I was there, I gandered at the plant section to see who my next victim would be.

don’t kill us, weee too pickee
jooon suck-(ulent)

In the end, I got some flowers to put in my flowerbed out front. One neighbor told me I’d have flowers come up there, but that the former owners always supplemented with other flowers. He also expressed dismay that I did not have a giant bonfire and serve hot chocolate on Halloween. He also also offered to put up lights for me at Christmas, as that’s what the people who lived here before did. I took him up on that.

I didn’t buy a lot, for fear I’d crowd whatever flowers are on their way.

When I wasn’t noticing Edsel longing for me, I also painted my dresser this weekend. You know, the horrid pink one? I had to sand it and prime it and mark it with a B.

Anyway, during priming, this happened.

So then I had to take time out of my busy schedule to drive Milhous all the way to the kill shelter. Why do I have pets?

shut ups you love us

That is after all the painting and planting had been done, so shut up about how awful I look. Your ass would be draggin’ too.

Next weekend I actually have social plans, to circumvent becoming the weirdest old woman in history. I have social plans so I don’t kidnap children and cook them in my oven. Step one, find oven. Was she going to eat the children? Didn’t she already have a candy house? Why do you also need children? Maybe she was craving protein, with all that sugar. I’ve gotten into the plot of Hansel and Gretel, in case you were thrown by my shift in thought.

dat yer hole weekend? mom lozer.

Luff,
Catwomen hermit June

47 thoughts on “Lone funwoman

  1. I think I would agree with those who said – add some wire over the present fence… Or do a chain link and plant some climbing vines. We have something in AZ called “Cat’s Claw” – it is thorny but grows fast and has yellow flowers.. and you can’t get rid of it once it grows… but it would help make the fence better – and not sure maybe it comes in other colors. I haven’t used it for a long time but it is cheaper than $8600 which is ridiculous, by the way! or maybe the electric fence in front of the current fence? There has to be a cheaper solution! Good luck!

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  2. You did a beautiful job on all of the projects! So sad about Milhouse, he was cute when he was asleep. I painted our loooooong hallway three times consecutively – first time, the color made it look like a school chalkboard (green), then primer over the ugly and the final color. I was picking up the last of the drop cloths when I discovered a tail print. If we ever sell, I’ll have to repaint but I was so over that hallway, I conveniently ignore it. And cut the green paint out of the tail.

    Not advice but a suggestion since 8k+ seems beyond insane, especially from a lumber company with their own delivery trucks…. Do Chris and Lilly offer referrals through their store for any general tradespeople who do assorted projects? You could buy the lumber and they install, even if it’s one side at a time. We have a “go to” Veteran and he enjoys the different “scenery” s a distraction from his PTSD. I hope you find something that works inside your budget!

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  3. What about an Invisible Fence? I have no idea what the cost is, but some neighbors have one and that “fence” is the BOSS of their dog.
    We’re about to replace the fence on one side of our house. It desperately needs to be done, but that is not a very fun expense.
    Is hog wire what we call barbed wire here in Tejas?

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  4. Right. And even if you’re not poor, who decides what kind of fence and how much to spend on said fence? Maybe I like chain link and you’d rather die than look at that for the rest of your days. And if something happens to the fence, who repairs it? I mean, it’s gotta belong to someone. We even have neighbors with back to back fences – they each have and maintain their own. So much simpler in the long run.

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  5. Our neighbors fenced in an area (mainly for when they’re watching their granddogs) and they chose black metal slats…shorter than five feet. They thought they were getting wrought iron but it’s aluminum. 8 thousand bucks.

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    1. I went back and looked at your current fence and that was the option I was going to suggest: t-posts and hog wire. It’s designed to be strong enough for livestock. Weak spots are reinforceable. If Edsel insists on charging the fence you could ask the vet about other deterrence options.

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      1. Can he get his snout through it? He once bit poor Tramp through the wire fence at my old place. I had bushes all along there but he got through.

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        1. He might be able to get his snout through it but I don’t think he could do a lot of damage. Your neighbors seem willing to give it a try…their dog may not want to get close enough to risk it. You could also add this stuff to the fence.
          https://www.amazon.com/Patio-Paradise-Commercial-Windscreen-Customized/dp/B01MS64R8B/ref=sr_1_8?hvadid=214544417486&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9029600&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t1&hvqmt=b&hvrand=2470315213010809744&hvtargid=kwd-296547517840&keywords=tall+outdoor+privacy+screen&qid=1552932424&s=gateway&sr=8-8&tag=googhydr-20

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  6. Note on the front flowers: take photos from the same spots once a month or so, such that next year you can figure out where the plants-that-come-back are. And also which plants that you planted did well vs. died dramatically.

    Don’t ask how many years it took me to figure out that no, I would *not* of course remember all of this the following spring when there are no signs of life…

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  7. When I bought my house the back yard was fenced in, but with an unattractive chain link fence. Hurricane Irma came through 3 months after I moved in and a pecan tree crashed through a whole side of the fence and part of my deck. Now I have a partially fenced in yard. I’m on a corner lot and the part that got wiped out is along the street. I’m debating whether I want to put a new fence up or plant a hedge. I don’t know which would be more cost efficient. I don’t have a dog, but for resale value a fence might be better in case a buyer has a dog. This part of home ownership sucks.

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  8. $8,600! Your yard must be pretty big. The dresser looks great. I love the idea of a pink dresser, especially with your aesthetic, but somehow it just didn’t work did it. I don’t know why, maybe a different shade would have? Anyway the white looks fabulous.

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  9. The dresser looks purty! I have a small one in my entryway that needs re-doing. I’ve had it since childhood, currently an ugly brown done by my mother years ago. It needs new life like yours.

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  10. The dresser looks great. The white is definitely better than the pink. I have cat prints in concrete walkway from the house to the workshop. A permanent reminder if Bubba Cat (Buster) that was the meanest cat I ever fed (I almost said owned, but no one owns a cat). Why are fences so ridiculously expensive? Maybe doing one side of your yard at a time would be more financially possible.
    Tee

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  11. Look at Eds with Mom’s shoe. That is so sweet, even though it rendered Mom barefoot. (See next picture.) Also too, the dresser looks great. It looks exactly like one of mine I inherited from my ex-s grandmother, except mine is still the original wood and somewhat falling apart. Just like me.

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        1. Yes, the one that’s just flimsy wire? The one that Edsel could get right through to bite the dog next door? I’m not getting it because I want it. I’m getting it so nothing awful happens with that dog.

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  12. Sounds like a luffly weekend. I’ve got a shitload of similar projects and no time. Also, too? I had a cat do the footprinty thang to a windowsill. Long-suffering paint dude rolled his eyes and re-did it. I hear they found the same kind of footprints on tile from ANCIENT EGYPT. And still, they were considered gods. Now? Asshats.

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  13. I love that you captured the rogue dandelion in the succulents – perfect! Your refurbished chest looks like something you’d find at Adelaide’s.

    Do you follow mymillhouse on Instagram? I think her house is similar to yours.

    Great post!

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          1. Isn’t she brave? I love her adventurous spirit as she pulls off a section of panelling to expose whatever is underneath, to bash holes in the wall to expose the brick, to all of her careful measurements of her home [helps you discover the secret spaces], and even to install a water supply shut off HERSELF. Hats off and full salute! Plus rescue dogs.

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  14. I think your weekend sounds lovely! Sometimes you need a weekend at home to do whatever the hell you want to!! Your dresser looks fantastic!

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    1. My father in law put up cattle panels because he didn’t want to pay for a fence. He doesn’t live out in the country. He doesn’t have cattle. He’ll spend ridiculous amounts of money on stupid crap, but he won’t spring for a nice fence. (I have in-law issues obviously)

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  15. Here is my dog and fence story. We had a huge and laid back dog. (A “Kentucky brown dog” for all you Dog DNA experts). We would leave her in the back yard when we went to work because we figured she was too big and lazy to even try to get through our 3 board wood fence. Until the day we came home to find the guys laying concrete next door telling us about how they thought a bear was strolling through the yard in their direction! She was always on the back porch, right where we left her, when we got home. Another Pet Owner of the Year award for us! (To go along with all the Mother of the Year awards I’ve gotten over the past 14 years.)

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  16. “The handles are crooked because I haven’t screwed them all the way in” is basically how I describe my life to anyone who’s curious. And with my life, who wouldn’t be? The dresser looks beautiful! That pink really was rather Pepto-Bismolish, wasn’t it?

    I’m so envious of anyone who’s planting any dang thing outside right now. Here in the mid-WORST it’s still January apparently. And yes – fences are RIDICULOUSLY expensive. Whenever I see someone putting one up, I’m like “oooooohhhhh! So I see you’re RICH.” Why? It’s just some slats and some posts! One of our neighbors let us know he was taking down the fence around his yard, which is essentially the fence on one side of OUR yard. So we ended up BUYING the fence from him and he paid a guy to take it down from his side of the yard and we paid the same guy to move it and put it back up six inches to the right on OUR side of the yard. Talk about ridiculous.

    Lovely post lovely June!

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    1. Ok that is totally ridiculous. Here we put up on the property line and ideally neighbors split the cost down the middle. Of course there is always that jerk neighbor in every neighborhood that refuses to chip in and brags they got their whole fence for free. But usually everyone caves to peer pressure.

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      1. Yeah. The woman next to me just purchased an $80,000 house. This is not a middle-class, neighborhood watch, split the fence costs hood.

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        1. Well there is that too. Our neighbors on the left just didn’t have the funds. We didn’t begrudge them a fence. It’s the jerky braggarts that are buying boats and crap with their get-out-of-the-fence money we hate.

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          1. My husband does landscaping and irrigation and fences and such, and it’s always ALWAYS the people with a lot of money who give him the hardest time on his prices. The little old ladies who don’t have a lot of extra? They hardly complain at all, and will sometimes even give him a little bonus if they can. I guess that’s how rich people get rich – they’re miserly with their money.

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          2. My sister lives where they have that “split down the middle” fence plan. It works there because the HOA requires the fence and dictates what kind of fence you have to have. And if your neighbor won’t split the cost of repairing or replacing, the HOA slaps a lien on their property for their portion and fronts the other half. That would never fly in the wild west town I live in. Well, actually it’s a small suburban neighborhood, but you can’t tell us anything.

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        1. THE NEIGHBOR IS POOR. Most of my neighbors are poor. Those of us moving in are not. But the majority of people in that hood are underemployed.

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