I HATE it when I hit “Publish” and forget a title

Last night, I slept eight and a half hours, and only woke up and rolled around fitfully once. Ten years ago, I’d have said, “Oh my god, you guys, I woke up at some point in the night and couldn’t fall back to sleep for like 30 minutes.” Now I’m, yay! It happened only once!

I don’t know why sleeping all night never happens anymore. [sips coffee] [ages]

So now that I’m rested, let’s talk. Does anyone have any pressing issues we want to discuss with the class? Weren’t we going to have a sort of advice room in here, or did I just invent that in my head and never tell y’all about it?

I had an idea that if anyone had any woes, any troubles or annoyances, that person could either tell them in the comments and the rest of us could chime in because GOD KNOWS YOU WILL DID I ASK FOR FENCE ADVICE, NO.

Or, alternatively, you could write me and we could make it a whole blog post and then people could give advice in the comments. Seems more organic to just do it below. Or above. Wherever the comments are. Seems like they switch if you’re on a desktop or a mobile, right?

In other news, when you move somewhere new, it’s nice to get to know the light. At my old place, I knew in the fall the 5 o’clock light in the living room was like to kill you. Here, I notice how pretty it is in the morning in my back yard. MAYBE SHE’LL FIND AN ISLAND WITH A SHADY TREEEE. JUST LIKE THE ONE IN OUR BACK YARD (ahhh-ahhh). Just like the one in our back y-a-a-a-a-rd.

Why was that a song? A song about some dead dog who’d drifted out to sea. Why were we all up in that weird high-pitched song?

There’s always someone with too much time on his or her hands who makes a terrible video to go with old songs.

Anyway. If you have a woe, discuss it below. Hah. Listen to me! I’m Johnny Cochran up in here with my rhymes.

In other news, yesterday at lunch I went to Walgreen’s for Prilosec because the glamor never stops. I also bought hand sanitizer, because it’s MID-MARCH and everyone at work has a cold and I don’t have time for that. [Everyone considers my schedule. Everyone concludes I actually do pretty much have time for that.]

our hole lyfe, we get compare to pure ell.

Anyway, which one do you think I bought? Oooo, let’s have a poll! We like polls.

I tried new berry-and-mint-flavored Prilosec, and why. Why did they think that was a flavor combo? Also, you swallow it. You don’t chew it. Why does it need to be a flavor? Why can’t it just be blue with vitamin E flavor?

Oh, and speaking of polls, I forgot to ever tell you the end of our Boss’s Stitch Fix story. She ended up returning everything except the earrings. “I liked those earrings,” my father said this weekend, after informing me he always votes on my boss’s clothes.

I also noticed this at Walgreen’s, and who can take a trip to the drug store and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile? Anyway, “Haunted Ghost” irked me. I took a picture of this because when Marvin was in music school, there was one guy who was obsessed with the band Frozen Ghost. Any time he spoke up in class, he had to refer to Frozen Ghost, and for the 429 years I was married to Marvin, he did an impression of this guy talking about Frozen Ghost. So I sent this to Marvin with the caption (wait for it) “Frozen Ghost.”

How can a ghost be haunted? Who haunts him? Another ghost? Because isn’t that just, like, everyone else in Ghost Town or wherever? Spookane, Washington? Terra Haunt?

I think it’s better for all of us when I sleep seven hours or less.

With that, I bid you adieu. Don’t forget to tell us your woes in the comments, if you have woes, and the rest of us hens will stampede in and tell you what you should do about your fence or whatever.

Love,
Juan

106 thoughts on “I HATE it when I hit “Publish” and forget a title

  1. Here’s my story of doubt and woe. My father was admitted to the hospital last week with a prognosis of “he’s at deaths door.” Now eight days later, we have taken him home and as long as he uses an oxygen machine, his heart will function and he’ll be OK. But he needs an Adult Nanny and I’ve taken 12 weeks leave. The state pays me for the first 6 weeks and my father will pay my “nanny” salary afterwards which includes free rent for a small house on his property. I dislike my current job and could possibly continue with this non corporate (no shared work space, no customers, yes!) job. I’m not sure if my siblings will cooperate as needed so I can have time off. I’m on Day #1 and this is kinda hard.

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    • I see the appeal of getting out of your current job, but this doesn’t have much of a future – if you get my drift. What happens after there’s no more need to care for your dad? And I’m assuming you mean your siblings would give you time off from care taking, but I wouldn’t count on that. This may be your 24/7 gig. Which would lead to lots of resentment on your part. And even if you’re the care taking type, caring for a family member can be incredibly stressful and put lots of strains on all your family relationships.

      Just some thoughts from afar.

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  2. Speaking of Walgreens, I am in Illinois for business (yes, I do lead a glamorous life), and you can buy liquor there. WTF, we can’t do that in Colorado; but you can smoke as much pot as you want. Weird state!

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  3. I have been on the hunt for good bed pillows. I can’t tell you how many I have bought and returned. My Pillow brand is like sleeping on ping pong balls and I am allergic to down. Any suggestions are welcome and thanks for the shoe insert ideas.

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  4. My problem, which seems really small in comparison, is Quickbooks. I’ve had to learn Quickbooks and even went out and bought a new PC just for the Quickbooks. I have no idea what I’m doing and the Quickbooks for Dummies book that I bought isn’t helping much, either. I have questions about so many things and I can’t get answers. I looked into classes and haven’t had any luck. I need someone to come to my house and sit down with me and teach me and explain why things are done a certain way and why you can’t change this or that. I’m drowning here and it’s affecting getting my taxes done.

    There. That’s my problem.

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    • This is maybe a totally looney suggestion, but: can you call around? If you are comfortable with churches, odds are *really* good that a local church will either 1. have someone who knows quickbooks on hand or 2. have a floating accountant who knows quickbooks who could teach you for $/hour. And people who work at churches, uh, usually need money, so mutually satisfactory arrangements can often be worked out.

      Alternatively, small businesses (large enough to need quickbooks, small enough that they don’t have an HR department and are either freelancing-out quickbooks or self-running quickbooks). If you have friends with small businesses, then inquiring of them if they know of anyone (including the “will pay $X for Y hours of heeelp”) might net someone.

      Oooor you could call up a local hiring/recruitment/freelancing agency and ask them if they know anyone, or check for accountants on whatever your local offer-services-part-time thing is (craigslist in many places?).

      Or, if you have a neighborhood Facebook group or similarly reasonably-geographically-restricted Thing of some kind where it would be okay to put out a “relative with a baby is coming; can I borrow a pack-and-play from anyone?” or “I need a babysitter/lawnmower”, then you could put a request out on that, titled something like “Know Quickbooks?” and then explaining what you want.

      (I do not know Quickbooks, so I’m not even going to ask where you are, because all I could do is try to apply another brain to the book and the program, and that is not nearly as useful as someone who knows what they’re doing. But believe me: there are rare people who are willing to help for free, and there are very definitely people who are willing to help for $/hour. Unless you live in, say, rural Canada, in which case the likelihood of someone knowing Quickbooks within 100 miles of you drops substantially.)

      Good luck!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I live in rural Canada and my husband bought Quickbooks and a computer to use it on and never has because he could never figure it out or find someone who knew how it worked. Just sayin’. KC know what she be talkin’ ’bout!

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      • I wish I was near. I knew nothing about Quickbooks 5 years ago, here, at this job I am currently neglecting (not even sorry about it) but I’m pretty good with it now! I can’t come to your house and show you, but I can write out instructions if you have a specific task to be done. I will say, quickbooks is considered better for businesses and Quicken is supposed to be for home use. I use both and much prefer Quickbooks.

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    • Hi Kelly,

      Try Udemy.com. I’m relearning Quickbooks and using courses from that site. There are sales for courses for under $20.00 (usually $120 ish). Once you buy a video course (with practice files), the course belongs to you.

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  5. I used to wake up multiple times a night, tossing and turning and being grumpy in the morning. Thanks menopause, you effing bastard. Then when my city legalized recreational marijuana, I decided to check out my local dispensary and went home with some THC oil and THC infused chocolate covered blueberries. I was not the only middle-aged woman in there asking for something to help me sleep. A couple of drops of oil under my tongue or one blueberry and I sleep like a teenager now and wake up feeling refreshed and not groggy at all.

    Those of you who cannot have THC, give CBD oil a try. I know a lot of people swear by it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Y’all.. So I’ve been married for 18 years to a real piece of work. I’ll try to make the back story as short as possible. I’m an only child. My mom passed in 1993. l We got married in 2000. We had dated in high school and then reconnected in 1998. He wasn’t very emotional or attentive, but I thought that’s just the way he had always been and thought nothing of it. Once we had the kids it became very clear that he had no interest in anyone but himself. I started thinking that I really it needed to get out of there. But as soon as I realized that, my dad was diagnosed with advanced cancer and passed shortly after. And that’s when my husband really became himself. Among many examples my favorite was when, although my dad had just passed and I had undiagnosed celiac, and back and hip spasms that would make me collapse if I didn’t grab onto something which had me housebound and two kids under 3, when I told him he needed to help me, he told me that I was faking everything to get attention from everyone (who? my dead parents? ), and that if I didn’t get my shit together he was going to have me committed. At that time his family thought he walked on water and just believed everything he said about me.. So yea, I was f*coked.

    Wow.. That’s an autocorrect for ya. I like it.

    So anyway. There I was.

    F*coked.

    My dad’s sister and her family was 500 miles of bad road north in an employment wasteland and were getting by but wouldn’t have been able to support my sick ass and my two little kids. My mom’s family was 500 miles south and in a similar situation. So I stayed because that was my best option.

    Eventually, one day when I was googling “what the hell did I marry?” I came to the conclusion that he’s a Narcissist. Either that or an asshole. But I was unable to find the diagnostic criteria for Asshole. I similarly came up empty with Douchebag.

    One of his many talents over the years was spending all of the money on himself to the point where we’re broke AF (he makes the money so he makes the decisions) and leaving me having to put groceries and school supplies on credit cards. And then he tells his parents that I maxed out the credit cards because I can’t control my spending. Meanwhile he has a boat, three four-wheelers, a massive truck, a $70,000 cab-over truck camper, and he insisted on buying this massive house in a beautiful neighborhood of custom homes., but not spending any money on furniture. Meanwhile, I have been having to buy 90% of anything the the kids and I need at Goodwill for years. So we’re like the Beverly Hillbillies in this neighborhood of rich people. But I’ve barely used the credit cards in a few years now. Which is slowly bringing me to my question. I promise I haven’t lost the plot.

    So over the years my husband’s pattern has been max out the credit cards, luck out with a windfall somehow and pay them all off, and then do it all over again. The last time he paid off the credit cards he refinanced the house and took equity out to do it. That was September of 2017. By July of 2018, less than a year later, he was yelling into the void (It’s me. I’m the void.) about our credit cards being all maxed out. Which is around $30,000. He was all prepared to blame me for it, but as he went through the bills he must have seen that it was almost all him because I haven’t heard a word since. And I have no idea what he spent all of that money on because he has all of the credit card bills sent to his email which I don’t have access to. Oh, and I also found out that he hasn’t been contributing to his 401k , so there’s only about $30,000 in there.

    Also there are the home repairs. Because he has spent so much money on all of his crap and has so many payments and so little left over, there is no money to fix anything. Right now we have a worsening leak in the pool that we knew about when we bought the place six years ago that he never wanted to spend money on to get fixed, our plumbing needs about $2000 of repairs (undone for the past three years), a whole section of the house has no electricity and we have big orange extension cords everywhere, his boat is unusable because it needs God knows what, we have a sinkhole developing in the driveway, and just found out last week that his big ass truck’s transmission is going out.

    And also too? He cancelled homeowners insurance as soon as we bought the house because he didn’t want to pay for it. You’d think that when he refinanced he’d jump at the chance to get that started again so he could fix the leak in the pool. And the plumbing. And the electricity. And the sinkhole. But nope. Cancelled that right away too.

    Finally, now that our autistic son is in a good school with a good program with all of the support he needs, I was able to tell him I wanted a divorce last fall. (Woot!) Very little reaction from my husband other than he moved into his camper in the back yard.

    In my state it costs $400 just to file your first separation paperwork, and then he has 30 days to file the same thing back and pay his $400. So that’s not happening anytime soon.

    So here’s my question.

    At this point my instinct is to sit back, grab my popcorn and watch as he tries to figure out how he’s going to figure his way out of this one. In my state, I’d be automatically responsible for half of the debt regardless if I had anything to do with it. So I’m inclined to just wait it out until he gets that all taken care of. At this point he’s either going to have to go to his parents and admit how deep he’s gotten himself, or he can just keep pretending it’s not happening and eventually have to file for bankruptcy or something I’m assuming.

    Am I seeing this right that there is no benefit to me right now to start separation paperwork?

    Thanks for the chance to get some advice lovely Joon!

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    • Oh honey, you need to talk to a lawyer ASAP. Call around and explain your situation and see if you can find one to take your case pro bono. Since you don’t work, your husband would possibly/probably have to pay spousal support along with child support and a good lawyer may even manage to get your husband to cover your legal costs.

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    • I’m raising my hands saying, “go to a lawyer!” You want the one in town who is mean as hell. Are the credit cards in both your names? If not, you may be free of that. We needed some extra income, and I started working with an online company called VIPKID. I teach English to children in China. There are several companies if that’s your thing! GoGo Kid and DaDaABC are both good. I also hear Rosetta has online classes that are similar but are taught to adults around the world. The companies have all the material ready for you. Sorry, not trying to sell you on what I do, but I’d find a bit of extra income somehow, and get the heck out of that situation! You’re better than that!

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      • RuthieY. Would you please share more about what it is that you do? Do you have your teaching certificate, and is that necessary to teach these online classes? Very interested in knowing more! I know I can “Google fucking it”, and will. But, I’m interested in hearing more from you if possible. Thanks!

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    • Yes, get yourself to a legal help clinic, find a lawyer, and FAST. I don’t know where you are [don’t need to tell us] but if your husband has already contacted all of the divorce lawyers in your area and shared his side of the story, then he has engaged in pre-counsel [not the therapist kind] and those lawyers may be unavailable to represent you. You’ve given him months to prepare – you need to prepare yourself, too.

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    • I worked for a divorce law firm for 7 years. I’m not an attorney so this isn’t formal legal advice, but I agree with the others – get yourself an attorney who is a scrapper and fighter. If he’s a narcissist who is used to skating through life with no consequences, he’s going to need a wake up call and you don’t want a nice attorney up against him. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

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    • Wow Nancy. Hey, I am a therapist… can’t give you help here as it would be unethical but just saying… you should see someone and fast. I am sad that you are in this mess!

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    • You might want to consider relocating to establish residency in a state that doesn’t hold you liable for half his debt. It usually takes six months to establish residency. Get legal help now.

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    • Wow! Thanks so much everybody. It never occurred to me that divorce lawyers had anything to do with pro bono or asking the other party to pay legal fees. I always assumed that was just for criminal cases. My husband’s in the tech industry, so I think I’ll go to the library tomorrow to do some research. I don’t think he’s ever spied on me,
      but you never know, he might start. Any recommendations for lawyer review sites? Yelp of course. Glassdoor. Nextdoor. Anything else?

      I have made some extra money before. The first time he got our bills seriously jacked up I happily jumped in and did some online work because that’s what you do. But instead of using it to pay bills he started going to fast food for lunch every day instead of taking leftovers. $7-10 a day doesn’t seem like much, but when you’re buying food at the dollar store to get you and your kids through until payday, it’ll chap your ass a bit. I used to tell people that if I got a $30k/year job, he’d use it to go buy himself a new $60k boat. I can hardly wait to start working. I’m so bored right now. I will definitely look into teaching. That sounds like a lot of fun.

      Oh yea, and we have two credit cards in both of our names and one that I’m apparently only a registered user on.

      I’ve called around to therapists that have experience with narcissism, emotional abuse, and codependency, and they’re all booked up. I think I’ll make another round of calls and see if I can get on someone’s last minute cancellation list.

      As far as location, I’m in Sacramento, CA. So Nevada and Oregon are our closest states. I’ll look into residency requirements for Nevada. It’s less than a two hour drive to Reno or Tahoe. Next year is our daughter’s senior year in high school so I wouldn’t want to screw that up for her, but summer is coming up and maybe I could work something out. When I find a lawyer I will talk to them about it.

      Thanks again so much to everyone. I will keep you all posted.

      Liked by 1 person

    • This is AWFUL! So sorry for you. My sister was married to a narsascist for too long. Nightmare. And, on a lighter, less horrible note- I have celiac disease. Most of my adult life, but docs did not diagnose till I was like 43 . . .5 yrs ago.

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  7. I dont want to be a downer but my husband died on January 1 and I just can’t seem to get over this malaise. I have a million things I need to do and I can’t get off Facebook and get going. Yeah, Im probably depressed and need a grief group, but Ive hit the too pissed off stage and I just dont want to do half the stuff thats sitting in front of me. Anybody else go through this? Id appreciate a roadmap, even though I know everyone is different.

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    • I know it is not even close to the same but when my mother died youngish (59) I went to a grief counselor and that really helped and going to the gym every day helped me with my mood tremendously.

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    • Mary Ellen, First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss. The pieces of advice I have are going to be contradictory to each other, but this is what got me though both of my parents passings, and also trying to help my dad when my mom died, and friends when they’ve lost loved ones.

      The first thing I’m going to tell you is the best piece of advice I ever got about grief. It’s your grief and you do it however you need to do it. When someone so close to us passes, there is so much powerlessness that goes along with everything. And then the grief itself is even worse. You’re just emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically dragged through your life by it. So don’t listen to other people about what you should do or what’s appropriate, or whatever. If you want to keep all of your husband’s stuff out as he left it because it gives you comfort, do it. If you can’t stand the sight of anything he touched or any of his pictures, put them all in boxes and get it all out of your face.

      So I started this by telling you not to listen to what other people tell you to do, and now I’m going to tell you what to do.

      After my mom died, one day many months after, my dad came home with bags full of Rubbermaid containers. My mom was the mom who reused margarine and sour cream containers for leftovers, so finding the leftovers was an adventure. One that my dad did not enjoy. So when he came home and slammed the bags of rubbermaid on the counter, he proudly said that he was never going to have to go through every container in the refrigerator to find the leftovers again. That’s what I call Silver Lining, Smug Satisfaction Edition. For weeks afterward, every time he used the rubbermaid, he was very happy with himself. So find something that your husband did that drove you nuts and bask in the smug glory of the fact that that shit is never going to happen again. Fucking toast crumbs in the butter. Not in MY house goddamnit! Very cathartic when you’re in the pissed off stage. I highly recommend it.

      You also HAVE to get out of the house. Not a lot. But some. And I’m not talking about the well-meaning people who want you to go to lunch or come over for a barbecue or come have some wine and talk about your feeeelings. And I’m not talking about the ones who say hey you’ve gotta eat right? (Nnope.) You’ll feel better if you take a nice shower (Make me.) But if you have a good friend who isn’t going to expect you to feel or act or look or be a certain way, and will drive you to the the Walmart in your pajama pants and greasy hair for 15 minutes to buy Cheezits and ice cream because that’s all that sounds good, eventually it will turn into an actual shopping trip, then let’s get fast food after, then you’ll want to hang out after, then slowly you’ll be able to accept the let’s have lunch and talk about your feelings and grief group offers.

      Well, I hope some of that was helpful. Standing in the doorway.

      Liked by 6 people

      • DG, Nancy and Sadie, thank you. I know Im in the pissed off, dont know what the hell comes next faze. So, having your condolences and advice is very helpful. I get out twice a week, at least. I see clients. And then there are times when I just cant deal with being in the house anymore and I go out; for a drive, to see friends, to shop. The memorial service is this weekend and I have many friends and family helping me with that. Im blessed…and pissed. It will all work out, I know.

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  8. I got woes – car died and cost way too much to fix, my rabbit died last Tuesday, and my horse has been lame for almost a month now. Oh… and I hate my job.

    Woe to me.

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  9. I have a dumb woe. I have always had flat feet, but a few years ago one of the arches kind of collapsed completely. I can’t seem to pull myself back together ever since. I used to run marathons and stuff and ever since I am always throwing my knee out or hip or what have you. Can anyone tell me if physical therapy can help fix these issues? I’m super a time so it kills me to have down time. Also? I swim when nothing else works but I kind of hate the drippy nose I get the rest of the day after swimming laps. Anyone been through this?

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    • As you no doubt already know, orthotics are magic for flat/flattening feet. Get thee to a podiatrist. If you already have a podiatrist, or you go to a podiatrist for orthotics, ask about PT for this, because they’d know who in the PT world would do that sort of thing; from non-flat-feet PT, I’m totally confident that *someone* could help you strengthen the right muscles and stretch the right muscles to make things better, but ideally you’d get someone who knows how and/or is willing to figure it out rather than just picking a different complaint and shoving square pegs in round holes and all that.

      Also yes on the runny nose from chlorine. Auugh and I have no help for it, sorry, but maybe someone else will?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Orthotics changed my life. And I don’t even have custom orthotics; I get orthotics for plantar fasciitis off of Amazon. They’re by Pro Foot and they’re something like $8.00 (American dollars) and I buy them by the bushel.

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  10. I saw Ghosted Maple Syrup on a grocery shelf this weekend. Can hardly wait till the HOT AND SPICY everything finally gives way to a food trend I can actually enjoy.

    Furthermore I was up recently until 4 pm w/ husband (emergency room, false alarm), slept four hours, worked 9 hours, and slept that night for over 9 hours without moving. Wasn’t worth it.

    Besides, I took a Dr Teal’s Epsom Salts bath once and slept exceedingly well. Didn’t feel really awake all morning.

    As you see, am not as fascinating as June.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Poet, I am always tempted to buy the Dr Teals Epsom salts. What makes them worth buying and using? I want to decide whether to finally buy them!

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      • I buy the Dr. Teal’s Epson salts because they are conveniently available at my grocery store. Lots of different scents to pick from, too. I am a firm believer that we are all running around deficient in magnesium and this helps replenish.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I’ve read that about the magnesium, but I wasn’t sure how effective the occasional epsom bath was at increasing levels. I was taking a supplement, but I fell off the wagon on taking vitamins…and eating better and exercising and….maybe one day I’ll get my act together.

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      • Like Lisapie said, there they are on the shelf, and scents to choose from. There’s plenty in the bag for quite a few baths, and you don’t have to refrigerate them or measure them or time yourself.

        Having the nice bag sitting there helps one feel obligated to treat oneself to a nice soothing bath that smells like bergamot or tangerine or something. And it sure did put me to sleep.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. No reall worries but I felt compelled to watch that whole video you posted just to listen to that cheesy song. I remember it being played on the radio a lot. Still awful.
    I hear you on the sleep. I wake up several times a night so once is a gift.

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  12. Oh, to only wake up once. I’ve never been a good sleeper and now in my old age it’s worse. Some nights/mornings it’s after 3 am before I ever fall asleep, then my husband is up at 6am turning on lights, opening and closing doors. I’m exhausted. I’m trying to not use my phone or computer after 8:30 pm so my brain can slow down.. Ambien really helps, but that stuff is addictive, so it’s reserved for when I really need to sleep. I feel so rested when I do take it.
    Tee

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  13. My big woe is people leaving my workplace. It really is a great place but many move on for more money. My partner left after 15 years of us working together and I was diagnosed with cancer. Her replacement is a new college grad who’s still wet behind her ears. So while I muddle through my mess, I’m expected to be her mentor. Now my boss and assistant are leaving for greener pastures. I could retire but for the bugaboo of how to pay for health insurance. So I’m going to muddle with a smile on my face because kids don’t like a crabby teacher. On the plus side, I keep getting good health reports. So that’s something.

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  14. I woke up early as well, and got my light therapy in. What a saving grace after this horrible awful winter with the 382773949 inches of snow. And I go back to work in a few weeks, so I’ll have actual structure again.

    But I’m not here to bitch. I’m off to donate platelets this morning, and Saturday is my birthday (along with remembering Lu). I’ve decided to embrace myself where I’m standing right now, despite extra poundage and feeling a bit down. I got my hair cut last night, and I’m letting my Mallen streak do it’s thing (see Stacey London for reference). Tomorrow it’s SPRING, so change is in the air.

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    • OMG Carol we are twins, I am your bday twin and I am getting my haircut today. Jinx~ Happy Birthday on Saturday, I am turning 45 and will be in Savanna with my husband and out of the Buffalo area winter where we had over 20 inches over our average snow this winter.

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      • I remembered that we were B-day twins! And from winter savaged areas to boot! It’s supposed to be in the 50s here in Mpls on Saturday, so welcome relief. Oh, also, turning 63 — aaack!

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        • I’m just glad you guys told me what Tallulah’s death date was. I was trying to remember if it was the 22nd or 23rd. It’s been three years. It’s harder than it was three years ago. Like my dick.

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          • I can relate June. My Lucia passed on April 11th last year, and I still have episodes. Even with a new kitty, I’m still remembering my beautiful long-haired Siamese girl. Always in my heart. And now on top of my dressing table as well.

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  15. Question that’s maybe advice: In all your migraine tests, did you ever do the 24-hour pee test? You collect your pee for a day (not as easy as it sounds unless you stay home the whole time — it has to be refrigerated) and they test your catacholomine levels. That can affect all kinds of things, including giving you headaches, anxiety, irritability, difficulty sleeping.

    I happened to have had a sleep test recently, met with sleep doc yesterday and learned that when you have sleep apnea it creates an enzyme that makes you pee during the night. Who knew! I learned all kinds of things from the sleep test (done at Duke) and am now about to venture into sexy CPAP land. I’m told I’ll feel like a new person. We’ll see.

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    • Hey Bluebird – my husband got a CPAP about a month ago and although he resisted it at first, he LOVES that thing now because he feels so much better, especially in the mornings. It’s almost annoying how much better he feels because now he’s this perky morning person and I am…not.

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      • My husband has had his CPAP for many years and that thing is like his second wife. We named her Lucille. He won’t even lay down to take a nap without that thing. The real kicker is I told him for at LEAST 10 years before he was dx with sleep apnea that he had it and it was going to kill him. And guess what? It almost did.

        I love being right.

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    • You will. My husband got a C-Pap machine and stopped falling asleep while people were talking to him. And it’s saving brain cells! The C-Pap was a bit hard to get used to but oh so worth it. Also when he’s using it he doesn’t snore — bonus! -Kate

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  16. I don’t have trouble sleeping but I DO have trouble forcing myself to go to bed. This is a late in life thing as I never used to do this before. But I just don’t feel tired and I’m up watching tv or looking at my phone. Then I look at the clock and it is midnight. Why won’t I go to bed? Then I am exhausted and snoozing my alarm to the hilt in the morning before work. Arrgghhh!

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  17. No current woes here. Other than the fact this week is like a glacier with the speed that we’re getting to Friday. Next week – SPRING BREAK. And still it’s like mid-February here with this weather. But I’ll be sure to chime in on everyone else’s woes, because Woe R Us.

    So glad to hear The Boss kept the earrings – I thought they suited her.

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  18. Lovely post, June. I love seeing spring sprung in your part of the world.

    Woe is me…I’ve had a cough since September.

    I’ve been to every kind of doctor (allergy/asthma, pulmonary, ENT, etc.). I’ve had every kind of test (chest x-rays, ct scan, breathing). I’ve taken every kind of medication (antibiotics, Mucinex, allergy, cough syrups, steroid inhaler). No answers (oh, except that I’ve got a thing on my thyroid that needs to be checked!). Still coughing.

    I got some relief from the steroid inhaler for a few weeks, but now the cough is back with a vengeance. Keeps me up at night Then during the day, I sit on the bench next to my judge in the courtroom and I hack while he is trying cases. I am pretty much now being paid to advise him AND disrupt him.

    Not really looking for advice…I’ve heard it/tried it all). Just feeling sorry for myself. Am about to cut off head.

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    • You sound like my daughter. She has “reactive bronchial passages” according to her dr. (Who she speaks to via FaceTime from the comfort of her bed. What a world we live in!) His advice – try not to get the cough in the first place. Helpful.

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    • My father-in-law was just diagnosed with something like GERD, except it is on the other side of his larynx–so he didn’t get any heartburn. They had to do a scope down his throat, and they finally found it. He has been coughing for YEARS–like 30 years. Tums worked a bit, but he has such a severe case that he is on some sort of medication and has a very strict diet. Worth a shot to buy some Tums?

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      • My husband has a persistent GERD related cough, but it’s different than what it sounds like PSS is dealing with. His is more like a lot of throat clearing – constant throat clearing – and “Cough. Cough. Cough.” You know, the kind that makes you homicidal vs feeling sorry for him. He barely even notices he’s doing it. He claims the medication makes him feel “weird” so he won’t take it. I tell him a punch to the throat is going to feel mighty “weird” too, when I finally lose it.

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          • Re the sleeping thing. Some cat jerk peed on my memory foam topper so I tossed it and my husband and I were sleeping directly on the 18 year old double mattress for months. It was not pretty. We got one of those compressed foam internet mattresses (from Costco cause it’s $400.00 cheaper) in King size and I am a new woman. Why didn’t I do this years ago? If only the Rushing Hens Advice group had been around when this was going on.

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      • GERDvhas been discussed. Doctors have been trying to spare me the tube down the throat, but it’s inevitable. Will try popping TUMS. Thanks.

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    • Were you checked for Celiac? This happened to my career counselor at work. She coughed for forever and it turned out to be that. Weird symptom.

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      • Tee, I thought of that too. My first medication for HBP – worked well, but one of the possible side effects was a cough. My doctor prescribed something else. BTW – the med was Mavik (I think).

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    • I’m sure they’ve checked this out for you, but any chance it’s whooping cough? I had it about 15 years ago, and was sick for a good eight months. Violent coughing, using inhalers, that Prilosec stuff (so I wouldn’t break my ribs). It was simply horrible. Now I get the Tdap vaccine without fail.

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    • PSS, I am definitely not trying to one up you with this, just commiserating with you, but on April 1st it will be four years since I woke up with a sinus infection and cough that will not go away. Like you, i have seen every doctor and tried every single thing suggested to me. Sometimes it’s better for a while and then it comes back stronger. All I have to offer is this: keep trying things. Something is bound to work. It is so depressing to never get results, but keep trying.

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    • Ugggh. I assume you’ve also already tried a humidifier at night (or, if you use a humidifier, making sure it is clear of mold), and Different Sleeping Positions, and Vick’s Vaporub or essential oil-y things, and anti-allergy pillowcases in case it’s partly dust mites (for me: partly dust mites, but I figured that out because whenever I slept on my side, whichever eye closest to the pillow was red and goopy in the morning.). If the cough does turn out to be partly allergies (mostly: if the cough reduces in low-allergen environments like certain areas of hospitals with really good air filtering), then air filtering at home may help; I went for a box fan air filter: well-rated anti-allergy 20*20 filter from Amazon or Ebay [far cheaper than Home Depot/Lowes], wire it to a box fan, run it in the bedroom. The very-high-filtration filters can burn out your HVAC system and are thus not recommended as a whole-house system, but 1. nothing is going to burn out a box fan, and 2. if it did, you wouldn’t care a great deal, because $20 box fan. (If that *does* help, then looking at more air filtering for the house might be a good plan, but bedroom = where you sleep = where you spend the most time coughing, probably, so: good place to start. Can’t fix the workplace, but if things are less irritated most of the time, then they act up less all the time.)

      I hope the cough goes away entirely, whether via medical intervention or just plain healing up.

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    • PSS – I know you’re not looking for advice, but my coworker was going through a cough thing last year for a whole year, and nothing was helping. She finally saw my awesome allergist (Even though she swore it wasn’t allergies, she took me at my word that he’s the best doctor I’ve ever seen) and he swabbed her nose, looked at a slide under a microscope and pronounced she had a FUNGAL infection. No wonder the antibiotics, steroids, etc didn’t help) he put her on a course of anti-fungal medication and she was cured. In, like, less than a month. NO IDEA how she got a fungal chest infection, but there you are. 5 minutes with a swab and a microscope got her her answer.

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    • Could it be a medication that you are taking? I developed a dry, hacking cough and my doctor suspected the culprit was my blood pressure meds – that’s a big side-effect. And darned if the cough didn’t stop when she put me on a different med.

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  19. I am so jealous that you slept last night. I have been up since 3. Tossing. Turning. Disturbing my dog. My husband was also up. We had a whole uninterrupted conversation at 4. He finally got up at 5. My dog is irritated. And now that it is almost 7–I could sleep. Ugh.

    Also, your backyard is gorgeous.

    I am not going to lie down now. I am not going to lie down now. I am NOT.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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