June's stupid life

Is that a blog in your pocket, or…

First of all, I saw this somewhere and it kills me.

People with too much time on their hands are my favorite kind of people. What does Justin Timberlake do? Does he get his hair chemically straightened? He must, right? Also, he’s so cute, and he seems like a nice young man. Let me get my hankie and wipe something from your face. Could I be more of an old lady right now?

“Right now.”

Is Justin Timberlake wearing pearl earrings?

Anyway I’ve got a lot on my mind, and I am distracted, but oh! I shopped around and got a fence for $5,000 instead of $8,000. I’m not getting the back of the yard done, and I got a cheaper installer. He’s going to wear Candies while he works, and he’ll chew gum.

So that’s happening, and in the meantime, the person next door and I have our secret catch-me-if-you-can mutual sneaking of dogs into our respective yards. This morning at 6:30 I turned on my back light to kind of signal to her that my dog was back there in the dark and then a few minutes later I saw her light on, which I took to mean, Now my dog wants out, so I hustled Edsel in.

I did some gardening this weekend and he came out there with me, lolling in the grass but not LOLing in the grass because Edsel doesn’t laugh. Anyway I felt guilty about having my dog out with me for an hour, and that’s really no way to live. I can’t wait to get the fence out there, y’all.

Meanwhile, what do you think about me going gray? Do you have any idea how often I have to dye my roots and buy spray to cover them 10 days after I’ve just spent $80 plus tip to dye said roots? Also, why not just–

I was going to say embrace the natural but you know my motto: Fuck natural. But listen to this! I’m also considering not Botoxing any more! I know! I mean, it finally, after years of faithfully doing it, lessened the wrinkle between my brows, the wrinkle that has come from years of faithfully scowling, and that’s great. But it also used to give me a delightful eyebrow lift and now it doesn’t. In fact, when my Botox is in full effect, it gives me this…fold in my eyelid that makes it annoying to apply eye shadow.

Do you know why I’m Botoxing and dyeing? Men. Do you know who I no longer care about? Men. So, maybe I’m free to be me and me. What say you?

Because I also fekking love grooming. I was clearly a monkey in last life. Grooming is my hobby. So I don’t know.

I don’t drink. I think drinking affects your decision-making.
You may be right, I can’t decide.

Arthur

Did anyone here go gray and love it? Will I look like Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment when Debra Winger is sick whilst it’s growing out?

I need another example of disheveled. I always pull that one out. You know, Shirley MacLaine’s character is probably younger than me now. Mother of god. Let me find out.

Oh, god. She was 49. Kill me now and pull out my gray roots. Jesus.

I guess that’s all my news other than the giant thing that’s weighing on my mind, but oh! I had my last session with my life coach last night, over there in England. I went through an entire notebook doing the writing exercises, and even though I’m done seeing him, I have yet another video to watch and also more writing to do, and now I’m all, do I just go from the back of the notebook and write on the backs of the pages or do I just start a new notebook and have like 15 pages in it from life coaching and the rest be…what? You can see my dilemma.

Anyway I’m glad I did it. I feel very coached about life. Now let’s all see if my life falls apart and my shingles hang on one nail like Mister in The Color Purple.

Dear June: Please see any movie from this century. Love, Readers.

Talk at you,
Joon

68 thoughts on “Is that a blog in your pocket, or…

  1. If the natural color of your hair is blond (or even blondish), feel free to go gray. It’s usually not a bad combo — gray and blond — in a woman of your semi-advanced years.

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  2. I just grew ma greys out last year and the first few months is the worst because people can’t decide if you’re just letting yourself go or if there’s something really wrong with you. But then, it’s like obvious you’re no longer a slave to the magic box and it’s kindof nice to see what’s under there. I have a silver streak on one side that’s artsy, I think. Go for it!

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  3. I think it’s been about 2 years since I stopped coloring my hair. It is a blend of black, white and silver, and people ask me if I “get it done” but it’s all natural. I get more compliments on it now then I ever did. I have it cut short (think P!NK) because I felt if was going to go gray I didn’t want to have a run of the mill hair cut. My daughter keeps encouraging me to just buzz it all but I’m not quite there yet. I just turned 50 on Saturday and my gray hair doesn’t make me feel old at all.

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  4. I don’t dye to cover up gray (I only have a few so far), but to grow out my hair, which had been colored previously. I bought semi-permanent dye from the beauty supply store in my natural color. it’s easy to apply at home whenever the ends start to look brassy again. And it’s dirt cheap. So easy to do, and you really can’t mess it up. Because it’s demi, it’s not hard on your hair. You could do that in the color you have now and save a ton of cash while you grow it out. Then when you do decide to go gray, you just let the demi color fade away.

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  5. I say GO NATURAL. Actually, I lied. I say go chemically gray and blend in your natural gray as it grows out so you don’t have a weird season in between. I think it’s so pretty and you can still “groom” by adding low lights to your gray or toning it more silver or less so, depending on your coloring.

    Also, away with the Botox. Get one of those at home needling things to build collagen. People on the YouTubes seem to like those things. Cannot relate.

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  6. IMHO just say no to the Botox. Of course I cannot judge you but let me judge my dentist. A pretty woman who is trying to hold onto it with Botox. It is not working. It looks very fake. Granted she may be extreme but I really don’t think it is a good look. Just my two cents

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    1. Are you sure it’s Botox or are they fillers? People use Botox generically to cover any number of things people do to their faces.

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      1. No idea. Just a smooth forehead that is unnatural. (And I won’t even go into the puffy lips. Why do woman make their lips puffy? So many questions…)

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        1. Oh. The smooth forehead is def Botox. When the rest of people’s faces look almost blurred out or even weirdly puffy, that’s filler.

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  7. If you stop coloring your hair the texture may be different than it is now. A stylist told me gray hair can be a little unruly. Try it and if you don’t like it, you can always go back.

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  8. I went natural last year. I had no idea what the end result would be but I am very happy with it. It is silvery white and I get lots of compliments in the color. Some people have actually asked me what colors are used on it. So easy just wash, dry and go. So freeing, you never know till you try!

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  9. Funny you should ask but I was thinking about suggesting that you stop dying your hair but I zipped it because you don’t like unsolicited advice. Happy you solicited it today. This idea came from viewing photos in The Silver Circle, a Facebook group. There you will find women with beautiful curly silver and/or white hair and well-done makeup, which is how you would look if you stopped dying yours. You also see women whose hair doesn’t look good, but that wouldn’t be you.

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  10. I’ve been naturally grey since I was 40, so you know I’m going to tell you to just go for it! I’ve never used Botox so have no advice for you there.

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  11. The last time I colored/highlighted my hair was Sept. 2010. I just decided no more chemicals seeping in to my brain might be a good thing. I still have loads of my natural dark brown but the silver is so evenly disbursed that it still looks like highlights. I do not miss going to have the updates every 4 weeks.

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  12. I stopped coloring right before my 56th birthday in 2017. I don’t regret it for a minute. I chose to go pixie and only took 7 months. Follow the hashtag #grombre on Instagram for lots of inspiration!

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  13. Faithful Reader Tammy, that’s an idea: June can have her head shaved. Then she’ll look like Wilhelm Oystermonger or whatever his blog name is.

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  14. I think the colour would be gorgeous if you let it go.
    As a stylist who transitioned from long red to buzzed white after two months of regrowth, it felt wonderful. Oh the freedom!
    It’s naturally curly like yours and grew out beautifully.
    Everyone seems to love it and several of my clients have taken the plunge as well.
    A bit of an income dip but I’m semi retired so whoo care.
    I doubt you’ll want the GI Jane look and now that it’s a darker shade I’d suggest having highlights done to lighten the overall colour.
    You’ll probably only need those done once since the darker colour will fade and blend in as it’s growing out.
    Good deal on the fence!

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  15. I vote for letting it go natural. You will then have tons of money for other grooming products such as face masks, fancy mascara and all the lipstick you want.

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  16. Well, all of you young ladies can go gray if you like but I started to do that a few years ago and my color was miserable so I have decide it will be blonde until the end!

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    1. I just wish I would go all gray so I can single process blonde. I miss it but double process is too hard on my scalp. I will be red for now and may resort to having my sister color it for me. She does my mother’s.

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  17. The last time I colored my hair was when I touched up my roots in July 2016. When I went to do yet another root touch up about 3 weeks later, I stared at myself in the mirror and then came to the decision that I was done coloring my hair. I got a lot of grief about it but I didn’t care. Now that my hair is all grown out, I get a lot of compliments on the natural silver. I do not miss the hours and expense of coloring my hair one iota.

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  18. I’m a brunette and about 2 inches in to letting my silver shine and I’m kind of liking it. It’s been 7 months since my last botox treatment and I’ll still occasionally splurge but I really don’t care anymore.

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  19. I can’t advise on the gray thing. I am terrified of going gray and do my roots at home every two weeks. I wish I could be free but not enough to attempt it. So glad about the fence discount! Or whatever happened there to get a lower price.

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    1. Same. I can’t accept the gray. I just can’t – I’m too vain. A friend of mine recently let hers go fully gray, and I feel like such a jerk when I see her and think to myself, “My god, she looks ten years older.” It’s terrible, I know, but that’s right where my mind goes.

      Maybe once I’m, say 60? I just can’t do it in my 40s. My hat’s truly off to the women who can. They are far, far braver than me!

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      1. I will be 60 in six months and can’t accept it either. I do not have pretty whitish gray, I have dark blah brown with ugly gray so dye it I will for now.

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  20. Went natural several years ago and do not regret it at all. I’ve also recently embraced the waves/curls and now the only thing I do is wash/condition twice a week and let my hair dry naturally. I used to get keratin treatments to straighten my hair but those are expensive and ultimately it always goes back to the waves. I do splurge on good shampoo and conditioner though to keep it shining. Oh, while I was growing it out my stylist would put in highlights and low-lights in strategic places to help it blend and most folks had no idea I was going slowly grey. I even had one woman tell me she loved my new coloring job and I smiled and told her it was by God.

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  21. I agree with Mother. If you don’t like it, return to coloring your hair. Seems the Botox might be at the end of its usefulness. Just think of all the money and time you are going to save by eliminating those two things. If your hair is the color of your mom’s and your dad’s, oh my gosh, it will be stunning with those beautiful curls. I have very dark hair and colored my hair once. I managed to turn it orange, so I decided I wasn’t going to do that again. Besides I’m way too frugal (cheap) to start that vicious cycle. I was really young then and decided I would just let my hair go natural and now I have lots of white over my ears and silver sparkles all through my dark hair. That must have been in the late 80s, then in the 90s I decided no more perms.
    Tee

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  22. I want to stop coloring my hair, but it’s the growing out process that stops me. I’m not the kind of person who can embrace her inner beauty while she goes around with roots slowly stretching out like unattractive taffy. I am the kind of person who is clinging to any outward beauty left with a death grip.

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  23. The more mature we become, the less we care what others think, I believe. Do what you want! As a child, I thought the women in the Silk and Silver ads in my mother’s McCall’s magazines were the most beautiful women ever. I even told my aunt that I wanted to be an old woman with long white hair. At 63, I am letting the highlights grow out and quite disappointed to see mostly dark brown roots. As someone said earlier, if you don’t like it, you can always color again!

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  24. Didn’t we have this conversation just a few weeks ago? I do nothing to my hair except wash it and dry it and it is a beautiful white. I get compliments from complete strangers. Your father has bright white hair too as did his mother. I don’t think your hair would be gray. It would be a beautiful bright shiny white. I wish you would go for it. As everyone is saying, you can always color it again if you don’t like it. Go for it. I think it would be fun for you to try. We could all watch your progress.

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  25. I had dark brown hair, blue eyes (still have those). When I first let it go grey, my sister told me I was mousy and I would take 10 years off my look by coloring it again. I did color it for a few more years and then decided to stop because my hair wasn’ healthy from the years of coloring. My hair stylist foiled my entire hair blonde and then the grey just subtly took over. I have never had as many compliments on my hair as I have in the last two years. It is a beautiful white, although the back is still dark. My blue eyes pop (Graves’ Disease? I don’t know). Sometimes I put purple peep throughs.

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  26. I’m not sure what your natural color is, but I think with your lovely curls you would look fabulous at any color. It’s not like any decision is permanent…go gray, go Botox-less, go makeup-less, go braless, if you don’t like it, change back.
    And I vote for using the backs of the pages in the book rather than starting a new one.
    Lovely post, Joob.

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  27. I am so very happy that I went with the gray.
    It is a process and you have to commit, but the results are worth it.
    Mother’s hair is fabulous.

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  28. Try the grey! You are so good with grooming – I think you wouldn’t go hag grey you’d go well groomed grey (I feel like I need hyphens back there but wtf). My friend stopped coloring, discovered her gorgeous soft white natural hair color and instantly had whole new color palette to play with. Totally diff makeup, clothes, jewelry than before and she is stunning. I think if you tried it, you’d work it (own it… to quote kit) and kick it in zee ass.

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  29. I got a tiny white streak on the left side of my face at 16. My grandmother was the same way. I had dark brown hair with this weird streak. People always asked me if I dyed it that way. Ummm…no, no I do not. I have slowly gotten whiter and whiter. No grey at all. Sadly, I know myself very well and I am a busy person. I do not have the time to keep my hair colored. I would look like a skunk. So, I’ve never colored my hair not one single time. Now people asked me where I get my hair highlighted. I have no advice. Just, I think 16 was not nice.

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  30. I think you should do it. You’ve got your Curly Girl look down, and it looks great, soft & curly, no Brillo pad. I have a friend who I never knew when she had her original hair, stopped coloring, and it looks stunning, much like Pam’s does.

    I had my last highlights were done a year ago (my hair is a fairly dark brown), which my stylist did by using my same color, so never had the line. I’m not very grey, more thready, but I do have the silver “spout” out of the front of my head. I named it my Fountain of Sorrow (thanks Jackson Browne), and I’ve had it for a long time. I get a lot of compliments on it. “Thanks, it’s natural.” Technically called a Mallen streak, think of Stacy London. Conditioning is more important now. Oh, just turned 63.

    My stylist has a client that comes in every 17 days for color top-offs. That’s no way to live.

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    1. I never knew this! I bet mine had always been there ,but I was very blond as a child. This is so interesting. And Fountain of Sorrow made me snort and I’m totally stealing it.

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  31. I stopped coloring my brunette self when I was about 50 and haven’t looked back. It was definitely a process and I had a skunk stripe for awhile. My parents both had/have lovely silver hair so I was confident I’d be okay. I save money, time, and don’t freak over the first gray that appears within 2 weeks after a dye job anymore. I get many compliments on my hair. I would encourage you to consider it!

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  32. What about dying it gray like all the young hipsters are doing?

    My neighbor’s dog just returned home from wintering in North Carolina with her sister. Now I’ll have to watch for her before taking my asshole fighting dog outside in the morning!

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  33. Not sure this is relatable, as I am 7 years older than you, but…. I stopped dying my hair (highlights/lowlights) more than 7 years ago. While I get lots of compliments on my silvery gray (why can’t I just say “thank you”?), lately I’ve been thinking to add streaks of white to liven it up again…bc in my mind, I am not 60, yet that’s what I see in the mirror. (Dammit)

    All of which is to say, as someone did before me, I’d suggest doing it to try it and see how you feel about it. It is just hair (ha! “just”) and if you are not loving yourself when you look in the mirror, then go back to coloring. I’ve heard real people, not just FB ads, say the Madison Reed stuff works well, but its just for roots not all-over color, apparently.

    I have no thoughts on your continued use or not, of Botox. I thought it also helped with migraines? In which case, I’d suggest you keep it up. #notadoctor

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    1. The Botox for migraine goes in different places than Botox for wrinkles, insurance doesn’t cover it and it’s, like, $500 every three months. If I didn’t have Murder Dog I could maybe get it!

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  34. Re: Sleeping Beauty’s comment – I have gray/white hair and get tons of compliments on it. It’s wavy, soft, not frizzy, not sure how I got so lucky except that I’ve been working on the transition since my late 20’s (I did get highlights for a long time). I don’t do a darn thing with it now except get it cut about every 8 weeks and do very minimal curly girl stuff to keep from damaging it. As in, co-wash mostly, microfiber towel, aloe vera gel. No color, almost no expense and it looks great. I kind of think a person who makes money by coloring hair will be biased toward telling you to keep coloring your hair.

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  35. I say try it! You can always color if you don’t like it. Glad you got the better price on the fence, why is everything so expensive?

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  36. I stopped coloring my hair in 2012 when we moved to Florida. My hair is very dark brown, so the gray looks like highlights. I get a lot of compliments on it. Of course, the look I was going for when I quit coloring was that glorious silver white, which I realize now won’t ever happen.

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  37. I guess I am in the minority but I say no to not dying but suggest coloring it yourself to save money? I splurge and get my hair colored at the salon once or twice a year but do my own color in between. But I have dark brown hair which is an easy color to match, but the grey shows fast. I use the spray in between. What about going a bit lighter so the grey isn’t as noticeable and you can go longer between salon visits? For reference I am 45 but started going grey pretty young so have been doing my own color jobs for years.

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  38. My bff, who is four years younger than me, has beautiful peaches-and-cream, unblemished, unwrinkled skin and huge blue eyes … why are we friends again? Anyway, she (of course) also has gorgeous hair. Thick, wavy, manageable (although she hates humid days) hair that I always envied. Most of the time it was blond or light brown, sometimes a nonbrassy gentle red. Perfect. And Then One Day she said Fuck It and embraced the gray. OMG, and I will go to my grave before I tell her this, but HUGE MISTAKE, Mrs. Brillo. From the back she looks like the crone in Hansel & Gretl, and then she turns around and people audibly gasp. She is still staying gray but gets caramel or something (color, not flavor) (I hope) and the gray is toned down a bit, shaded and somewhat improved, but STILL GRAY AND HAGGISH. Yards of thick gray hair surrounding a young, unlined face. It’s WEIRD. I can’t imagine she’s saving that much money since she is still adding toner or whatever and IMO, it was a bad decision.

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      1. There was a couple that used to sit in front of us in church, I called them Mr. and Mrs. Brillohead. No joke, their hair looked just alike, style, length and color. And I could not see around those two.

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  39. I love how you casually tossed in a mention of a giant thing weighing on your mind at the end, there. Pam has really pretty gray/silver/white hair, so would yours look like that? What about your grammas?

    One of my great-grandmothers had gorgeous snowy white hair that hung to her waist, and she braided it and put it up in a bun every.single.day. I think I might have seen her one time ever with it not in a bun. I’d love to have her hair. My mom, however, still highlights hers because it refuses to go gray. A dusting of gray at the temples and her eyebrows are gray, but everything else is dishwater blonde.

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  40. I have been gray since my early 30’s and coloring my hair every 5-6 weeks due to how fast my hair grows. Two years ago, I shaved my head to raise money for St. Baldrick’s (a group that raises money for pediatric cancer research) and decided to let my hair grow in its natural color: mostly gray, some white. I love it! It has been so freeing to not be a slave to the salon.
    Your hairstylist can help your hair “transition” to gray a) if you don’t want to go extreme and shave your head and b) if you don’t want a skunk stripe while your color grows out.

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  41. I let my hair go natural and I have never been happier! No stress, no trying to fluff hair to hide roots. The money I’ve saved? I’m spending it on prettier stuff!!
    For reference, you and I are the same age. Three of my friends have done it, and love it, as well.
    Good luck! Enjoy the liberation!

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  42. There’s a great Instagram account called “grombre” that just shares women who are letting their grey shine through.

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  43. My Mom’s hair went totally white in her late 40’s and she never had to color it to make it look gorgeous. It was (and still is) beautiful. I say go for it. It looks like yours would be that awesome white color which would look stunning on you.

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  44. My mom has never colored her hair and she was all gray in her early fifties. She has the very pretty white gray hair. And it looks nice with her fair complexion. There has to be an app to see what you’d look like gray. There’s an app for everything else.
    Fantastic news about the fence. In my mind I’d be thinking about where I could spend the three thousand I just saved. I may not be the one to ask for advice on how to not spend money.

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  45. So I asked the lady who was dying my roots for me and she said that when you see a woman with gray/silver hair that is a nice tone – I.e., not wiry and slovenly, that woman is also dying her hair. Her hair may be naturally gray/silver but she needs to dye it too to make it pretty. So damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

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    1. So not true. Remember, they make money off of you dyeing your hair, so they are never going to recommend that you stop dyeing.
      I think gray hair hair is a classy, confident look. As you get older, your skin begins to fade and dyed dark hair just begins to look wrong.

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      1. Believe me, we’re not all take the money and run stylists.
        My co workers and I have all helped our clients through the growing out stage.
        We may have lost the colour dollars but we’ve all happily retained those clients.

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