June's stupid life

June Sawyer

My goal was to start writing this morning at 7:15, and it’s 7:15 on the dot. Am a machine.

In other news, look!

I thought I’d post this.
hahahaha…mom not funnee

The fence is coming along! It’s actually further along than this now, but it’s rainy AF and I don’t want to traipse out there in the…OH, FINE.

This is a long post. I need to get over the post jokes. Post haste.

Also, when I traipsed out there in the rain, Eds went out too. He’s already been out twice today and it’s a pain in the arse right now to let him out because I have to go out there with him in case he realizes we have no fence. I have to hawk over him every second, even though he still hasn’t attempted to exit that square that is our yard once.

Actually, she mainsplained, at the way back of my yard, the guy on the other side of me only fenced his yard halfway back and the rest is raw and untamed. So when I tore down MY fence, and I like how I act like I put on some hawk gloves and just started ripping fencing out, the way back of the yard is just open. Eds DID wander that way the other night when we were fetching Blu. But he didn’t RUN, he was just curious. And one sharp, “EDSEL” and he came right back.

Does anyone remember when Tallulah did everything in her power to escape me? Eds is a horse of a different color.

Anyway he went out there with me just now, for time number three for no reason whatsoever and you could tell he regretted it instantly.

I guess I have to power wash that patio. Goddammit.

Anyway, that’s exciting.

Meanwhile, each night I come home from a day of copy editing to…an evening of copy editing to help pay for the fence. You’ll see my total I owe for the fence in the sidebar is stubbornly the same, but that’s because I haven’t finished my first freelancing job yet. Once I invoice and get paid, I will SCREAM every cent over to pay for the damn fence. It BUGS me to be back in debt. I mean, I’m in debt for my car and my house, but you know what I mean.

In other news, I’m going to First Friday downtown tonight with some of my coworkers. Two people I know are in an art show and Ima check it out. All the art in this particular show has to have words in it, and I should have submitted THIS piece of art for consideration.

Also, in a few weeks, I’m going to the beach with Lottie Blanco, her wife Lottie Blanco and a bunch of their friends. They’ve rented a big beach house and asked me to come along. I was just bemoaning that I haven’t been to the beach in awhile, and all anyone ever says here is, “You’re three hours from the beach and three hours from the mountains.”

I mean, they say other things, otherwise how would any of us work or have relationships, but it’s a popular refrain, trust me. And it’s not 100% true. Where I’m going it’s more like three and a HALF hours, so.

I’ve already asked for the time off and have to schedule Edsel’s daycare boarding, and then I just need my beach body and …damn.

I’m trying to think of any other news, but I think that’s all I have to tell you. Work, come home, observe fence progression, freelance. I’ll bet they won’t come today because it’s raining, will they? Ding DANG it.

So I’ll go, but I know, I’ll think of you each step of your wayyyyyy. Also, I’ve taken these photos of late and welcome to my nightmare.

Oh, look, freelance work. And leapy cat.
Dude, CALM DOWN.
okaaae.

I’m still waiting for my chair to get recovered, and I have that blanket there for the pets to lie on in its place, and they really do use it, which amuses me. Back in the ’80s when I had a perm and you did too, I moved in with my pal Sandy. I had a wooden milk crate to decorate with and you did too. I set said crate near the window, “So Confetti can look out the window and chitter at birds,” I said.

And do you know that cat sat in the window and chittered at birds the whole time I lived there? I mean, he did other things, otherwise how could he have a job and relationships. But you know what I mean.

He also peed on one corner of the carpet, and I’m just now realizing I was the nightmare tenant you think of when you say, No pets.

And yes, I had a cat named Confetti. He was a peach-colored Persian I got at a pet shop back when I didn’t know you should adopt from the shelter. He was a magnificent cat but he really did pee everywhere.

Oh, and thanks for helping D apostrophe Lynn out yesterday with your words of advice. Look at us all go! We’re full of the wisdom. I still won’t call you all my sisters and say I’d be lost without my gal pals or whatever positive people say.

Down with people,
June

27 thoughts on “June Sawyer

  1. We used to live in Santiago, Chile and our house was 30 minutes from the ski slopes and 1 hour from the beach and next door to the vineyards. The living was excellent there, if you don’t mind the world’s worst smog. and not breathing.

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  2. People say to me, “Lucky you, you’re 30 minutes from wine country, 30 minutes from the city, 30 minutes from the beach and 30 minutes from the mountains.” I’m 30 seconds from my fridge and TV, so that’s where I go. Though the idea of getting to see cool things nearby is appealing, it just isn’t happening without a lot of mental prep.

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  3. Whoa, that perm—on humid days I bet you had an Afro. Is that hair style still called an Afro?

    I have two milk crates from Mr. The Poet’s former décor, and after moving I put them out full of clothes to sew little nametags on, mostly about 60 T shirts. Each dog believes one is for her. They are all about squatter’s rights.

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  4. Don’t power wash – buy Wet and Forget It. Best stuff ever. Takes awhile but the rain washes all the gunk away over time and you don’t have to do anything but spray it on.

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      1. I’ve used it on my non-wood deck. Check the label. I used it on my white fence last fall which was covered with the green mildew/mold/algae and it is white as snow now. Takes the black mildew off the sidewalks and side of the house too.

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  5. L.O.L.
    I love the Edz pictures and captions and then you hit me with a beach body pic and more shenanigans by felines. Love it! Hurricane Milhous.

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  6. I definitely had the milk crate decor and the perms! I don’t miss the perms but I would love to have some of those milk crates. They were handy as hell.

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    1. I still have a wooden milk crate out in the garden. We used to free them from the back of grocery stores in college. I am a curly person and wondering why you had a perm when one already resides upon your head? Please enlighten me.

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      1. I’m just guessing here – but as another curly headed person who also had perms in the 80s. I didn’t realize that my hair was curly. I was too busy blowing it dry and straight to notice.

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  7. How have you never mentioned Confetti before? Or perhaps you did and I missed it.

    You’ll have that fence paid for in no time with your worky-work work ethic. And you’ll appreciate it every day. As will your neighbors when their dog isn’t subjected to Edsel the Killing Machine.

    We just got back from a week at the beach – tonic for the soul is what that is. I took my beach body, too. Dis my body – it’s at the beach. Beach body. One of my mom’s good friends used to lay out in her two piece almost year round – in Wisconsin no less – and tan. She would say “tan fat looks better than white fat” – and she was right! Not that you have any fat June. That would be me over here.

    Happy Friday!

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    1. I know one time I must have mentioned Confetti: There is a picture of me, with giant giant hair due to a giant giant spiral perm I thought would be a good idea, and in that photo I am holding Confetti. With all my spare time here at work with 90 deadlines today I will find it and put it on (Face)Book of June.

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      1. Well, would you look at that! I’m sure I read that way back in aught 12, but who has memory cells left. My RAM is full and my hard drive is corrupted, if you will.

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  8. I had to laugh about Edsel and the missing fence. As of Tuesday, the screen on our back door has been removed because it had a torn place. My cat goes to the back door and waits for us to open the unscreened door. We don’t want her to discover she can just step through the opening, because when it is replaced, hopefully today, we don’t want her to damage the new screen. Why do all cats, except my scaredy cat, love boxes. I’ve decided she is suffering from PTSD, because she is afraid of everything. Enjoy First Friday!
    Tee

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