June's stupid life

You know what’s hilarious? When people say, Life’s a beach. Oh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

by June

I went to the beach.

The only shoes I packed.

My coworker Lottie Blanco, and her wife, Lottie Blanco, got a beach house on an island for a week, and invited friends to come along.

Take it to the bridge
Squee

It was a great house. It was damaged by the hurricane last fall, so a lot of stuff in there was brand new, so we had, like, a smart refrigerator and so forth. It told us why the sky was blue and it did trigonometry.

Why is trigonometry always the thing we pull out? It’s like when you’re going for some difficult-to-understand language, it’s always Swahili.

The good news is, there were three dogs there. I couldn’t bring Edsel because at the end of the trip, there’d have been one dog there and three dog skeletons.

‘lo.
You haff hare envee, dog no it.
Ohhhh, Ima de Italyan Greyhownd. Have-a da pasta, eh?

I am pleased to announce that one evening, after our elaborate dinner that Lottie Blanco made, we all sat on the couches and the little Greyhound slept on my lap and then I stole her and we are on the lam the end.

Is that how you spell it? “The lam”?

It was in the ’70s and low ’80s, but with the ocean breeze it wasn’t ever too hot. I wore my sunscreen, because I’ve become the world’s most boring person. The OLD me would have burnt self to crisp and gotten drunk and possibly walked crying down the beach because of whatever drama du jour.

The new, old me used sunblock, drank Gatorade and gathered rocks and things. Oh!

eeeting. go way.
The sun sets on Lottie Blanco

Did you ever go on a trip and there was just no stress and no sadness and nothing to do but have a good time for a few days? Because I guess that’s what I’m trying to tell you about my trip.

fuq yu, UV reys

So that sums up my trip. Oh! Before I go, I got the Blancos a dog DNA kit as a thank you for inviting me. Here is their dog:

wut. thot you leeve, cling laydee.

What do we think Riley is? Further reports as developments warrant.

Love,
Kuuun. Goddammit. JUUN.

P.S. Edsel has been at daycare, and I couldn’t find him on the webcam. Turns out he’s graduated to the big dog room, which while it really does have all larger dogs, it’s also about energy. It’s the mellow large dogs. Who knew Eds would ever get there?

However, when I got there yesterday evening to get him, I opened the door and there he was, the only dog in the window, staring right at me. He knew I was coming for him.

Cent of mom be strong. Shhh. Edz exawst.

Okay for sure bye.

June

71 thoughts on “You know what’s hilarious? When people say, Life’s a beach. Oh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”

  1. That dog appears to have Corgi and some sort of wire-haired scruffy terrier like a Schnauzer in him. Plus he is 100% adorable!!

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  2. Looks and sounds like a perfect vacation! It made me look even more forward to mine coming up next month.

    I’ll give you five hundred bucks for that little dog.

    And by five hundred I mean five thousand.

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  3. I say Corgi, Scottie, and Australian shepherd. Ooh and that dog with a crazy long flat nose. I’ve only seen them in dog shows.

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  6. Your vacation sounds lovely. This post is just so relaxing. You sound happy. I’m very glad about that.

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  7. Your vacation sounds so lovely – I have beach envy.
    Love the picture of exhausted Eds.

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  8. Thanks for sharing your relaxing beach vacation pictures with us. So glad you had such a good time.

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  10. Those are the best vacations. It is awesome to have such friends.

    I loved the decor at a beach rental we had a couple years ago. A bicycle was hanging above the sofa and it was beautiful. I’ll try to find a photo and post to Book of June.

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  11. dumb question (because let’s be honest, some questions ARE dumb): why doesn’t edsel kill all the other dogs at doggie daycare?

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    1. I won’t answer for Edsel, but sometimes it’s the presence of the owner that sets them off – either a protective instinct toward their person or just plain old jealousy maybe. My son has a Jack Russell that has no problem with other dogs UNLESS A. he’s on a leash or B. there’s a fence between him and the other dog. Then he’s a killer. They can’t ever walk him on a leash, but we take him to the dog park all the time where he happily runs and plays with every dog in the park.

      Dogs are weird.

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  12. Your vacation looks fabulous! I think pupper is a doxie/terrier mix although his tail is a little too fat for doxie so maybe corgi/irish wolfhound? ahhahahahahahahah the image of that mating in my mind!

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  13. I’m going Basset Hound, Some kind of terrier like a Yorkie or Russell. Not sure what would make those spots he has though. Please do keeps us informed as to the results. IMWTK.

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  14. I love the photo of Eds in the chair. It’s the sleep of being home, not on alert in a strange place.

    That dog’s ancestry is going to require a freaking scroll to list it. Some dude in short pants and a hat with a big feather will read the list, it’s so long.

    Drama free is the best form of vacation.

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  15. Yesterday we stopped in at the lakefront cabin I’ve rented for three nights every summer for the past few years. I wanted to give my friend a glimpse of the large deck with water lapping against the rocks below it, in case she deigns to join me this summer. There is still ice on the lake right now, but she got the idea! Those three days/nights are the best holiday I could ever have … and it’s only 15 miles from my home. It’s my annual retreat and I usually spend the entire time alone there … and love it. Can’t wait. I know exactly how deeply relaxing your days by the water were. -Kate

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    1. I am searching for pretty much that exact spot for myself. I seriously need a place where I can go away and be alone (except for my dog) for a few days that is not 3 hours away from home.

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  16. June, you look twenty five in that photo!!! Love the images. I think Riley is terrier and basset hound.

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  17. Well I would say part corgi if 50 other people didn’t beat me to it. Your vacation sounds like exactly what I need. Gives me something to dream about so that’s good. Thank you.

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  19. Oh! One of their dogs looks just like my Atticus. How is it possible to have so many cute dogs together at one time??? What a nice trip!!

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  20. Sounds like a great trip!! Well deserved!! I think Riley is a Corgi/Australian Cattle dog (aka Catahoula).

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  21. Beautifully written. I can smell the salt air. Makes me even more excited about our upcoming outer banks trip!
    Those dogs are great! The dna thank you gift is brilliant.
    So glad you had such a relaxing time!

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  22. I need a beach vacation. Or, I need friends who plan a beach vacation and invite me along. But unless I want to go to the beach on a buggy lake in Minnesota, I am miles and miles away from a good beach vacation. And now I’m pouting.

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  23. Wonderful post. The picture with the shells lined up on the railing says beach vacation like no other. That last picture of you is beautiful/adorable/precious. You pick the word you want and cross out the others.

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  26. Oh, the dog skeleton bit got me! Too funny. Love a relaxing beach visit with good weather. I am still the no sunscreen type, but boring in every other way. I have NO idea what kind of dog that is. I can identify old english sheep dogs, and that’s it. See, boring! Oh I do really want the hair that has been gifted to the other beautiful dog! Gorgeous.

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  27. Your trip sounds lovely — hurray for good friends and beach breezes and picking up pretty stuff. I love it when the animals get their own “voices” and personality. Edsel knew you were coming. Good boy, Edsel.

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    1. Those were the two I immediately thought of as well. Definitely Corgiand Catahoula and about a dozen others, too.

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  30. Oh, this post made me want to go to the beach so bad! I’m so glad you had a good, relaxing time. The house is awesome, to say nothing of the dogs. I’m in love with the hairy brown-headed dog. He looks like a springerdoodle! And the DNA gift was outstanding. And I was going to show off my dog smarts by saying Riley is part Corgi. You have a lot of dog-smarts commenters.

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  32. Well, that sounds just lovely and perfect and just what a vacation should be, with bonus dogs.

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  34. Great trip in every possible way. Food, sleep, sand, sea and dogs. Poor Edsel he needs a vacation.
    Tee

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  35. Riley is part corgi, part grumpy guy in the coffee shop who hates all those ridiculous $5 coffee drinks all these young people order all the time.

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    1. Me too! I think they had to put up new art when they renovated and I loved most of it. More cool silver octopi, fewer “Life’s a Beach” prints with flip-flops on them.

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      1. OMG, yes. We vacation at various beaches and rent. Some of the “beach” decor is just horrible. Also? Less is more. I don’t need a starfish and a sand bucket on every surface. I hate it when it looks like they decorated strictly from one of those one of those crappy souvenir shops. Everywhere you look, a flip flop and an umbrella. UGH. And ENOUGH with the coral and light green, people. It’s like renting a beach house from SpongeBob SquarePants.

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  37. Sounds like a lovely time! What a great gift as well!

    I’m thinking definitely some sort of terrier – that body could be our Westie’s body! They claim he’s 100% Westie but he’s way longer than a Westie should be. That face and coloring though …

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  40. Lovely post, Juun! Sounds, and looks, like a wonderful weekend. The first weekend in May, I will be at a lake house with six friends from school. We are all about the talking and the eating. I agree that little hambone of a dog has some corgi. Will vicariously anticipate the test results.

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  42. The Queen’s Corgi line has traveled across the pond to sire Riley.

    I love the beach. I’m so glad you had a lovely time!

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  43. I don’t know about his face (maybe a little bull terrier?) but his little burrito body is ALL Corgi! That beach looked like my favorite place in all the land… Emerald Isle/Morehead City?? Have you been to Beaufort?! Because if not you should absolutely go. It’s the definition of a sleepy little fishing town. The. Cutest.

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    1. You are right about Beaufort! I lived on Emerald Isle for a few years – it was amazing. Beach was never that crowded!

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  47. I love this so much! Trips that are just relaxing are the best. That photo of you is perfect.

    I think Riley is part corgi and part some kind of wiry terrier. What a cute little beef roast of a dog! Also loving the Eye-talian in his special beach shirt. It’s good to be extra.

    Eds looks very happy to be home.

    Lovely post lovely June!

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  48. Beach is lovely. I’m going to say Riley is part Cardigan Welsh Corgi + undefined Terrier.

    I think the Italian Greyhound had a rendevous with a Chihuahua. I had an IG as a neighbor, and their noses are longer, more slender. But almost like a cat in personality.

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  49. That sounds like a perfect vacation to me. Is it wrong of me to ask what beach? We are constantly looking for new beaches to go to.

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    1. Emerald Isle maybe? Several of the beach front properties were damaged by the hurricane. Glad that the owners were able to rebuild. Your beach trip sounds divine – so glad that you got a peaceful time plus dogs!

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      1. *scrolls up* Good point. House looks beautiful – I am certain that the realty agency will appreciate the extra business once you can share!

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