I went to the beach.
My coworker Lottie Blanco, and her wife, Lottie Blanco, got a beach house on an island for a week, and invited friends to come along.
It was a great house. It was damaged by the hurricane last fall, so a lot of stuff in there was brand new, so we had, like, a smart refrigerator and so forth. It told us why the sky was blue and it did trigonometry.
Why is trigonometry always the thing we pull out? It’s like when you’re going for some difficult-to-understand language, it’s always Swahili.
The good news is, there were three dogs there. I couldn’t bring Edsel because at the end of the trip, there’d have been one dog there and three dog skeletons.
I am pleased to announce that one evening, after our elaborate dinner that Lottie Blanco made, we all sat on the couches and the little Greyhound slept on my lap and then I stole her and we are on the lam the end.
Is that how you spell it? “The lam”?
It was in the ’70s and low ’80s, but with the ocean breeze it wasn’t ever too hot. I wore my sunscreen, because I’ve become the world’s most boring person. The OLD me would have burnt self to crisp and gotten drunk and possibly walked crying down the beach because of whatever drama du jour.
The new, old me used sunblock, drank Gatorade and gathered rocks and things. Oh!
Did you ever go on a trip and there was just no stress and no sadness and nothing to do but have a good time for a few days? Because I guess that’s what I’m trying to tell you about my trip.
So that sums up my trip. Oh! Before I go, I got the Blancos a dog DNA kit as a thank you for inviting me. Here is their dog:
What do we think Riley is? Further reports as developments warrant.
Kuuun. Goddammit. JUUN.
P.S. Edsel has been at daycare, and I couldn’t find him on the webcam. Turns out he’s graduated to the big dog room, which while it really does have all larger dogs, it’s also about energy. It’s the mellow large dogs. Who knew Eds would ever get there?
However, when I got there yesterday evening to get him, I opened the door and there he was, the only dog in the window, staring right at me. He knew I was coming for him.
Okay for sure bye.