I’ve heard the months for nearly perfect weather here are May and October. I have found that to be true. May is to North Carolina what July is to Michigan–the days are warm and breezy and lovely most of the time. A few are hot, but not many. Sort of like a dating site.

I’ve had the windows open a lot as a result. So hot men will climb in. No.

Last night I slept with four windows open, which several neighbors have told me this neighborhood is “safe enough” to do, and which therefore always makes me nervous.

The point is I woke up with icicles hanging off the bed.

There is a scene in one of my Laura Ingalls Wilder books where Laura is sleeping on the top floor of the house, an uninsulated house because 1888, and she wakes to Pa sweeping the snow off her blankets. Couldn’t anyone call Child Protective Services, which I’ve now mentioned two days in a row?

Anyway, this chilly morning I snuggled with Edsel, who for as much as he adores me, HATES snuggling. He always sits there, appalled, till I’m done. At night and in the morning he greets me by pressing his head into me, hard, and I can hug his dog neck for a bit, but any spooning and so on is a no. Cool stoic Tallulah would totally let me nap on her hip if I wanted to.

We got up, because Dark Victory was in here mewing once he heard us stir.

it cold. also do not wish to sit stillz even one second KITTY HAF TO GO.

My regular morning thing is to go to the living room and open the 47 blinds (there are three windows and a door with a window in there. It’s like I live at the palace or something) while I say hey to my Google machine, as when I do, it tells me the time, the current temperature and the expected high and low, and then it always says, “Your commute to work is six minutes if you take [insert street] by car.”


Except this one time, it said it’d take FIVE minutes and I was all, WHERE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE DID THE WORLD END. Now my whole goal is to get it to say that again.

My point is, it’s 45 degrees out this morning. I had every window in the palace open to a 45-degree evening. Pleasant.

kittee must zoom goodby foster

Meanwhile, the kitten who never sits still remains less than two pounds. Oh my god. I can gain two pounds after one Pop Tart and he’s all, “Tryeeng to keep it under 2. Want to fit in kitten prom dress 4 lyfe.”

Not that I really mind him staying here. He’s a big hit with the blonds here. He’s a big two non-thumbs down with the grays. But they tolerate him. They let him run by without incident at this point. There’s no outraged hissed/angry post on Catfacebook.

Other than that, things are copasetic. I’ve been looking at my dating apps more often than I had been, not because I hold out hope of meeting anyone on them, but rather that they’re so absurd. My favorite thing this morning, other than the man who’s bemoaning women searching for “the prince in shiny armor,” was the guy who talked about how depth was important, and the thing he values, along with large eyes and a small nose on a woman who keeps herself slim.

I should make a book of these, except can’t everyone just sue my size-large pants off for stealing their brilliant profiles?

I did see one good one. It was all, “My life is pretty good,” and then a list of what was good about it, followed by, “So now I’m gonna ruin all that and start dating again.”

That’s exactly how I feel.

I have to go to work, as it is beckoning. I think I might actually just have a night tonight where I get to come home and do nothing. Oh, how rich that is. How lovely. Tomorrow I am introducing the copy editor who sits behind me to The Other Copy Editor, fmr., at TOCE,F’s bed and breakfast. I think they’ll like each other as they are both low key. I figure all low key people like each other. But what do I know? I’m high key.

Okay, goodbye. Oh, and while I’m up now that you’ve told me some good places to get cushions for my outdoor chairs, what are some other cute things I can do back there? I want to string Tibetan prayer flags out there because Lu was part Tibetan spaniel. But what else?


57 thoughts on “My gift is my blog and this one’s for you. Here’s the return receipt.

  1. Nithya says:

    I think you can get away with a book on those profiles if you’re scathing enough. You need people to be so ashamed to come forward and claim their stupid words that it’s not worth the millions of dollars they’d win.

    I love your garden!


  2. L.in CA not using an email address weeeeeeeee says:

    Testing 123.


    1. Sadie says:

      We have the same quilt square since I don’t use an email address either.


  3. Another Unruly-Haired Person says:

    Kitten: squee!
    I also thought Eds would’ve been a physically clingy kind of guy.
    I like the sound of the guy who knows dating “will ruin everything.” I’d meet him.
    I have no yard (apartment), so no suggestions here. I do think plants that come back every year that require no work are great–so maybe plant a clematis vine. Home Garden type store will probably have some clematis vine plants already started, so it would be faster than from seed.


  4. Dancer says:

    Goodness I love fresh air at night. Yeah, bars or get thee to home depot, buy a broom stick thing and have them cut it to lengths to fit window open but not burglar open. I think you asked for advice, right?

    Moo enjoys being the spoon.

    Do I need an email address?


  5. Do y’all have At Home stores in or near Greensboro? I always find a million things I want for my front porch, deck, etc. when I go there and it’s not super expensive stuff. They have so many outdoor cushions it’s almost overwhelming, along with bright pots, lights, lanterns, outdoor rugs, etc. I can’t remember at the moment if you have containers with flowers or just the ones you planted in the ground. Maybe some bright pots with some pretty flowers on your patio would be nice. Or go on Pinterest and you can get tons of ideas for outdoor decor.


  6. lisapie76 says:

    Here’s what I have hanging in my trees. All different colors and shapes. They last for several years before you have to replace them.


    1. lisapie76 says:

      Plus you can put them on your Amazon wish list and we can get them for you.


  7. Koala Raspberry says:

    My husband was the yard person. I have a black thumb and no desire for it. My sisters, mom, and favorite aunt all garden. My late M-I-L was a master gardener too. I’ve got nothing.


  8. Hot in AZ says:

    I love your yard and can’t wait to see what else you do to decorate it. Maybe you could update your Amazon wish list.


  9. Wilhelmina Pearlie Schnitzel says:

    Last week, we tore out all of the ratty-ass shrubbery in the front yard so now my planters are bare and for the life of me, I can’t decide what I want to plant there. I have a brown thumb when it comes to getting things to grow. Your yard looks lovely, June. I’m jealous.


  10. yetanotherkelly says:

    Part of me wants to log out of WP and just use a different nom de plume every time I comment.

    My Gracie Lou is not a snuggler. When she wants to snuggle, she will look at you and say, “Grrrr.” That means she wants to wrestle. However, as soon as you start to touch her, she’ll jump away, like she’s saying, “Don’t touch me! Wait! I want to wrestle! Don’t touch me!” She’s a weird dog. She also says “Grrrr” when she’s laying in my husband’s lap, like she’s purring. She will not do this with anyone else.


  11. banne4 says:

    Hmmm – I get that about the cold nights. In Northern AZ it is a lot the same! But you forget to mention that during those months of marvelous weather in NC – at least near the coast where I lived – it was humid and hot – drippy humid and then the hurricanes to watch out for! But it was wonderful beach weather too! And thanks for the laugh about poor Edsel! My Marley is exactly the same. Only a little cuddling till morning with the wet nose in my face! Thanks I really needed to laugh today! 🙂


    1. Sadie says:

      I hope I don’t jinx it, but we’ve had a terrific May so far here in Atlanta with low humidity and very few bugs if you don’t count the carpenter bees.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Caron says:

    I love the kind of weather you describe.


  13. 1madgirl says:

    A lovely part of going away for a week without WiFi is coming home to a week’s worth of Book of June entries.
    I like the idea of a trellis on your shed. We hung a trellis on each side of our shed door by buying hooks at the hardware store and hanging the trellis on the hooks. Much easier than trying to affix it to the shed itself. The hooks were easy to screw in. And somebody probably has some ivy to start at the bottom which will give you free greenery. For this year you could plant morning glory (super blue is best for big showy flowers) and moon vine (which opens at night with big white flowers.) . Blue by day, white by night which is beautiful at twilight time.
    We love softening the corner of a patio with three pots of graduated sizes. In each pot plant a thriller (tall plant), filler, (begonia?) and a spiller (something that trails). Or in a large pot in the sun plant a lantana. They come in all colors and love NC heat and sun.
    I mix herbs (rosemary, oregano, thyme, basil, parsley) with flowers in a pot.
    You have a lot of sun? Plant any of a large variety of sunflowers. Mexican sunflowers are fun and different from usual sunflowers. Of course things need to be watered but you are out with the critters anyway.
    I won’t go adding a lot of links unless you want them.


    1. Sadie says:

      Love your ideas. Lantana is easy to grow and loves sun and heat, but I’ve heard moon vine flowers are poisonous in case any children or pets are tempted by the big pretty flowers.

      Mom was able to just stick the trellis in the ground in front of her shed so didn’t have to hang it. Of course, she has soft Florida dirt, not hard Georgia clay.


  14. 1madgirl says:

    You and I are not even made of the same substance! Snow on my bed? Only if I’m in hell. But summer in Montana? Heaven.


  15. Helen says:

    Since you have a new fence, I think you should put lights along the length of it. My entire patio is fenced in and I just buy inexpensive white Christmas lights and string them along the top. It makes for lovely ambiance. Also consider buying a couple shepherd’s hooks and then you could hang a hummingbird feeder or annual type hanging plants. Maybe a bird bath, although Iris might consider that a food bowl.


    1. gardenqueen says:

      They sell solar lights that solar powered, too. No worries about wiring. And cheap.


  16. You need lights. Like some retro-looking lightbulb string lights. I love those. You can put them inside your umbrella.

    Also, I now require a Tibetan Mastiff. So fluffy!

    Where does my email go? (dodging incoming liver and taquitos)


  17. StephanieJ says:

    I can’t believe I didn’t know Edsel isn’t a fan of snuggling. In my head I pictured him as a hard core spooner.


    1. Koala Raspberry says:

      Me too! My two dogs would be all over me seventy-five percent of the time if I allowed it. They snarl at each other with jealousy and the evil female Chi mix lunges at my poor buff Carin Terrier mix. I do love the snuggling at times.


  18. Vic says:

    Lovely post, Juniper.


  19. Snowbird says:

    I wouldn’t go by what “they” tell you about neighborhood safety. I crack my patio door with a bar in it. That way it can’t be opened more than a couple of inches ( only skinny burgler need apply). Maybe you could do something like that on windows?

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Barbara says:

    I have no backyard suggestions. This year I can’t get excited or inspired by anything. Is this what age does?


  21. amarabray says:

    I like the lights idea. We did that on our back patio and now it is lovely out there at night. Also if you don’t want to string things up, Paula’s suggestion of the lanterns is another way to go. Huge candles, or those battery pack fairy lights — that just look like wire? I love those in a big glass lantern. They have to make those Japanese lanterns out of something besides paper at this point right? I’d like those too.


    1. lisapie76 says:

      That’s what I have, the Japanese solar lanterns that are now made of “silk”. Who knows if it’s really silk. But they are gorgeous and last for years.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Anonymous says:

    I love to sleep with the windows open, but I read Helter Skelter when I was 12 and therefore, I always think the Manson family is lurking in the rhododendrons. Spoils the effect.


  23. Ruth says:

    How about a little fountain that you have to make sure you refill when it’s hot or the pump will burn out sucking air?


  24. Ernie says:

    The dating app stuff must be very entertained, if only entertainment from your cozy house (that was not cozy this am ) was enough. Maybe it is though? You are quite in touch with child protective services.


  25. Carolina says:

    The easiest thing in the world is to comment here. No email no password. And I can have a different name every time I comment. Anyone who can’t comment here is…

    Well I just don’t get it.


  26. Pearl says:

    A zero gravity chair is a must to relax in your backyard. My legs have never been this rested. They sell them in several colors now, you could get a sage green one


  27. Amajoanie says:

    Hello? Has WP actually let me in???


  28. Katie (from work, fmr.) says:

    Ikea is good for outdoor and other knick knacks.


  29. laurieintexas says:

    Teensy Shadow of Darkness is just adorable. I love lights in the trees! Unfortunately, so do our resident raccoons! They have found and dismantled every one.


  30. Jeanie Herkomer says:

    I’m just going to go ahead and say it: Please don’t sleep with your windows open, Joon. “he gained entrance through an unlocked door” or “he got in through an open window.” I hate to be a killjoy, but there you go.


  31. teesmithii says:

    Catfacebook! Zoom would be an appropriate name for LBK.

    I always enjoy candles on the patio, but they have to be taken inside after being used because they will fill up with rain…when it rains. I thought I was being smart by allowing the wax to cool and harden, then turn the containers upside down. Well. That was a terrible idea, because summers in Atlanta are hot enough to melt wax. I had wax on my tables and patio. You don’t remove wax from concrete. I found some really cute candles in terracotta pots at Ingles (grocery store/supermarket) at the end of the season half price. I know you don’t want to wait until the end of the season. I need suggestions as well for my patio, it is so boring.

    At least the guy was truthful on his profile.


  32. June testing says:

    Hello. Is it me you’re looking for?


  33. Katie says:

    It is fecking cold in Ohio lately. I’m pretty pissed about it. But I love talking about decks. Hopefully you have a big deck. I love it when people have bistro lights. It is just fancy talk for hanging some lights. I think they always looks nice.


    1. Katie, I too am sick and tired of the cold Ohio weather.


  34. Sadie says:

    After several days in Florida with my mother for a surprise Mother’s Day visit, I was not expecting the 51 degrees this morning in Atlanta. The cool weather won’t last long as hot weather will return in a few days.

    Outdoor suggestions would include a grouping of potted plants and flowers on your patio unless you’ve already done that. And either hang two more hanging baskets on the right side of your garage to balance the one on the left side or place a skinny black trellis in front of the right side and plant a flowering vine to grow up the trellis. I’m using ideas from my mom’s gorgeous backyard. She found a skinny black trellis at Lowes.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. DB in MD says:

    Edsel is not a snuggler?! I NEVER would have guessed that.

    The “my life is pretty good” guy would get a second look from me. I get where he’s coming from.

    My husband has been sick since last fall. We’ve been to the ER, seen many specialists, had many tests done, and two weeks ago he had surgery. Today is his follow up with the surgeon. He is feeling almost normal.

    I hope to be able to spend more time at June’s not blog now. I’ve missed y’all.


    1. Sadie says:

      I’m sorry your husband has been ill and hope his health improves. Welcome back.


    2. teesmithii says:

      DB, so glad our husband is doing better. You have been missed.


    3. 1madgirl says:

      Been there, done that, DB. Best to both of you. Hang on. PJ aka 1madgirl


    4. Koala Raspberry says:

      I hope it’s resolved for you soon. That’s a tough road to travel.


    5. Caron says:

      Welcome back! I hope things continue to improve.


  36. Gretchen Meyer says:

    I got a couple packs of these – https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B0171JF58Y/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 for my fence. They work better than I expected. They don’t light up the whole yard but it’s enough to see the fence, nice to look out at night and not just see a black hole. I couldn’t keep anything that plugged in because of fecking squirrels.


  37. Just Paula H&B says:

    Do you have a Christmas Tree Shoppe? They have home decor and while I tend to turn up my nose at most of it (crappy statues and the like), I can usually find something to buy and clutter up my house with. With which to clutter up my house. Last weekend I bought deck throw pillows because my current cushions are black and beige (big surprise) and SOME MORON ordered chaise cushions in GRAY. I don’t even know what happened there, but while I was wasting time in the CTS, I saw black, beige and gray striped throw pillows for $6.99, so there you go. Now everything will coordinate and I can stop hyperventilating. Not that it is anywhere near warm enough yet to enjoy one’s deck here in NY. ALSO, I wanted to get those pretty Japanese lanterns to hang in the pergola, but my much-smarter-than-me daughter said, briefly, “No. Paper. Rain,” as if she gets charged by the word. HOWEVER. also at CTS, I saw strings of Japanese lanterns that weren’t exactly what I had in mind, but also not paper. I didn’t buy those. YET.

    Outside decor wise, I have no further suggestions. I really do like the Japanese lanterns, the ones that are different sizes, but No. Paper. Rain.

    Oh wait. You can get large lanterns and fill them with whatever. I have two black ones filled with Christmas ornaments for, duh, the holidays, but I have seen them with tulips or hyacinths and that is very pretty. Or even just strings of lights. (Cheaper at CTS than at Pier One and guess how I know this? Because I bought mine at Pier One.)


    1. 1madgirl says:

      as if she gets charged by the word
      Thanks for the laugh.


  38. cherylk says:

    Nice post. That’s a great statement from the guy on the dating site.


  39. Nicole says:

    When it’s cold in my bedroom I don’t like to get up. Which is not a bad thing, it’s more of an observation. I have nothing yardish to suggest, which is hardly shocking given the disused nature of my own yard. Outside is scary. There’s a flaming ball of gas in the sky.


  40. Melissa says:

    The profiles are all the same. It’s like they all got together and decided to all state the same things.


    1. June testing says:

      “Message me cause I can’t see Likes. I’m easy [space] going and don’t want any drama.”


      1. Melissa says:

        “Honest to a fault” “my kids are my world “ “I enjoy riding my motorcycles “ (eye roll)


  41. gladyswhoisalsobee says:

    I love when it is cold and I can snuggle. I lived in Montana where I slept with bedroom windows open. I woke more often than not to snow on my bed.

    Lovely post Coot


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