The Ann-Margret of Greensboro

I don’t mean to overstimulate you this early in the post, but I’ve just tried new shampoo and conditioner.

I’m in a few June-hair support groups on Facebook, and women are forever showing up there with flawless curls listing all the things they used in it while I read from under my head of Phil Spector hair. “Kinky-Curly” comes up a lot, and what I’m looking forward to are the new dirty things men Google that will show up in my “how people found your blog” info.

I say men because I assume it’s men. The only times I Google dirty things are to giggle at them with other women, because I’m 11. My maturity is turned up to 11. Dubly.

Before I get lost in Spinal Tap jokes, I’ll go back to my hair. I’d show you before and afters of how my hair looks wet while beginning this post and then how it’s drying at the end, but unless I wrote for four hours, my hair would not look any different. I get to work before most people, which is good because several days a week I have wet hair, and nothing says climb my corporate ladder like wet hair. If I dry it I’m extra Phil Spector.

By the time others get there it just kind of looks like maybe I overdid it with the gel. I’m certain that’s how Barbara Walters’ hair looked halfway into the first segment of the Today Show.

I like how my only reference for a professional woman is Barbara Walters. If I were a fruit I’d be currant.

Anyway, I’ll check back in with you tomorrow for a full report on how I enjoyed the Kinky Curly. Hello, pervy men. Sorry you landed on a middle-aged cat woman’s page, but I’m certain the idea of Barbara Walters got your motor runnin’.

In other news, today is Black Label’s last day here. He most def weighs more than 2 pounds now, so he has to go back to the shelter where they neuter his ass and then place him on the sales floor, where I am convinced he will be swooped up toot suite.

ware nads go?

If anyone here is interested in him, say the word and I will help you get him, even if I have to drive four hours to meet you halfway or something. I’m invested in him now.

Each time I do this, I feel a combination of great sadness and relief, because it’s a lot, raising a kitten. It’s even more raising a whole passel of them, as I usually do. But I grow attached to them, even the unfriendly ones, which this one is not. He purrs as soon as you pick him up.

Oh, I will miss his shadowy self.

“Look introverted,” I said.

In other other news, last night I introduced The Other Copy Editor, fmr., to The Current Other Copy Editor, crnt., and I like the redundancy of that name, especially for a copy editor. In short, and when am I ever in short, the woman on the left used to have to sit right behind me and copy edit, and the woman on the right currently has to do the same. I figured they needed a support group, like my June-hair groups.

“I usually took hallucinogens to get through it. Sometimes it looked like she walked in with completely wet hair.”

TOCE, fmr., owns that bed and breakfast I am forever going to, and they have wine nights some Wednesdays, which are lovely, so we partook. There was a band, and pizza, and old men giving me the eye, and I guess that’s my demographic now. I’m the Ann-Margret of Greensboro.

Pfft. I wish. But remember how they had her in that movie with Walter Matthau and Jack Citrus or whatever his name was? She moved in next door to them, like that just happens. Oh, look, a spectacular older woman just moved in. That’s probably what all my neighbors said when my truck pulled up here. Wow, is that Ann-Amrgret?

Amrgret. Goddammit.

I’d better put clothes on and attend work. Milhous and Blackie Parrish are wrestling behind me. My neighbor’s chicken or whatever is crowing. My hair is wet and will be till 11:00. Yep. Everything’s in order.

Concisely,
Juan

41 thoughts on “The Ann-Margret of Greensboro

  1. I do not know anything about cats, so I have a Q. The A may be obvious to e’rybody else, but idk. Why is fostering to a certain weight necessary? If a person wants to adopt a cat and is willing to take a teeny one like your Betty Boop there, why can’t that happen? Why the middle man (or woman in this case)?

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  2. I am not on a FB page for curly hair. I feel so old. Like older than Ann Margaret. My hair cannot really be claimed as curly anymore. Just thin and wavy. Celiac disease undiagnosed for ions made it change to yuck. My youngest daughter, who goes by Curly on my blog, has insanely curly hair. Always looking for new products for her to try. I too love the photo on the porch. Looks very vacation-y.

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    • I keep saying we should have a June Tour, where people come stay at The Other Copy Editors B&B (Double Oaks, in Greensboro), and then she tours you around to June hotspots.

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  3. Bye bye, little fruit bat cat! My daughter’s got the curly hair thing (mine is straight and boring and in my 40s I’m finally okay with that), and I’m always looking for recommendations as to what she should be using. Her aunt dished out for the Curly Girl stuff for her, when I was all “uh, no, you’ll use Suave and like it, Little Miss Uses-An-Entire-Bottle-Every-Time-She-Showers.” But she doesn’t like the Curly Girl stuff as much as Suave (!!), so I guess I dodged that bullet. One of the recommended whosiwhatsits was the post on you trying Prose. How did that work out? Inquiring minds want to know that I’m safe to say, “Oh my blog friend June tried that and it wasn’t worth the cash!” to my kid. 😀

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  4. Bye sweet LBK, you are going to be missed. I hope you are adopted very soon and settle into your new home where you will be loved as much as June loves you.

    Great post! Except for the part of saying bye to kitten.
    Tee

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  5. I joined a few of those curly FB groups along with one or two for silver curly hair. I learned a few things and then it all became redundant so I left those groups. I do follow the hashbrown curlygirlmethod or whatever it’s called on Instagram. Anyway, despite the fact that I work from home and have plenty of time, I do NOT have the time nor the patience to put 12,000 different products on my hair and then plop for 45 minutes and then diffuse with cold air for 30 minutes and then add another 10 products. Which is probably why my hair looks like a gray fright wig. I’m not sure what curl level my hair is, 2B? Or not 2B? That is the question.

    However, I do use Kinky Curly products. I haven’t tried the Knot Today yet although I have a bottle sitting in my cabinet. On the rare days I do shampoo my hair, I use the Kinky Curly Come Clean and I always use the Curling Custard. I just need to use up all of the other CG-Approved products I’ve purchased over the last year or so. I even spent $$$ on that Prose stuff and honestly, I didn’t see any difference in my hair.

    Oh, that adorable baby kitty. He will make a wonderful pet, thanks to your fostering and Edsel’s guidance. I’m so glad you have Milhaus so that Edsel still has the pussy he so adores since the Gray Ladies have no interest in romping with him.

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  6. Lemmon. Jack Lemmon. I could do nothing else until I remembered his name.
    Lovely post, June. Have a goof life, Black Jack.

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  7. Lemmon. Jack Lemmon. I could do nothing else until I remembered his name.
    Lovely post, June. Have a goof life, Black Jack.

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  8. Lovely post Coot. Yes, I get the Ann-Margret and old men reference. I am truly over here driving all the old men crazy, and by old men, I am talking pre-civil war old. I live in a town that is saturated with golf-playing, Corvette driving, St. John’s Bay wearing old men. They ogle all us young, under 75, chicks.

    Hope the Black Dahlia finds a good home.

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  9. I really like the Kinky Curls Curling Cream, but my hair is sort of fine and feeble, so I don’t know if it would work as well for you. I’ve heard good things about the shampoo and conditioner. I too am on a curly haired Facebook support page, and it’s ridiculous. Sometimes arguments break out over things like the occasional use of silicones or if someone has 2C or 3A curls. I am nonetheless obsessed with my curly hair cult. (“YOUR hair is mostly wavy, with a few 3A curls” someone from the group pipes up at me, “and I just think we need to be accurate around here. SORRY if that BOTHERS people!”)

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  10. Happy landing, St. John of the Cross.
    Ann Margaret and Barbara Walters in the same post as new shampoo. I need to go calm down.

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  11. I hope someone on this not blog adopts little black fuzzy man! He is so adorable and takes such great pictures. Will miss his tiny self.
    Also that porch your copy editor frm is sitting on is to die for!! If I had that I would live on it.

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    • Probably not. I got lucky that this one was perfect with his litter box, but in general kittens are not perfect, and I have nothing but hardwood floors in all the rooms except the kitchen. It’s just not a foster-y house. I guess the mills didn’t keep kitten fostering in mind when they designed the house.

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  12. Farewell little Foster Black. I think your new family should be obligated to send updates for the not-blog. Kisses for your walnut noggin.
    My brother is the driver of celebrities for our local film festival. He had the pleasure of driving to Brentwood and picking up Ann Margaret. She gave him a kiss on the cheek at the end of the festival and he was on cloud nine for months. O

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  13. I come to work with wet hair on the daily. Blow drying makes me fuzzy. Nobody wants me to be fuzzy, right?

    Goodbye sweet Black Kitten. I hope the rest of your life is as wonderful as your days with June have been!

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  14. I still haven’t got a foster kitten or kittens yet this year! Now I am going out of town memorial day weekend so the soonest I will get kitten action is 5/27 so I am so happy to see pics and hear stories of yours. I am also cat shopping, so fostering will help me get back into litter box mode and start me working again on desensitizing my cat reactive pupper.

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  15. Now I feel the need to watch the episode of Sex and the City with the roof chickens.

    -Can I help you?
    -I live around the corner and my window Iooks over the roof with the chickens and the crowing…
    – Roosters.
    – Excuse me?
    – They are roosters. Roosters crow.
    – Yes, they do. And very loudly.
    -Sorry. We just got them. Rescued from a cockfight in the Bronx.
    – My God.
    – I’ll have to move them to the basement.
    -You don’t have to do that. They had all that fight-trauma. They need fresh air. I don’t want them to be miserable.
    -Don’t worry. They have a very lovely life.

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  16. Grumpy Old Men. Followed by its sequel Grumpier Old Men.

    I’m sorry you have to say goodbye to that sweet kitten. What a face!

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  17. dammit. I wish I could take Inky home to keep our puppy company (and teach her how to love cats). Stupid husband and his stupid allergies. Harumph. #funsucker

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  18. I know you will miss the little walnut head. You are such a good foster mom!
    Can’t wait to hear how Kinky-Curly works out!!

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  19. Oh, I will dearly miss Blackie’s sweet, bug-eyed expressions. What a personality this little guy has…and he purrs a lot, too? Furry perfection, right there. And it sounds like Mill-house will miss him, too.

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