An unfiltered woman trying to heal, while rejecting anyone who tries to help her

I get the feeling that John Wayne Bobbitt was an unpleasant person. I say this because I have just spent a few nights watching a documentary on the Bobbitts, called Lorena.

I of course remember the Bobbitt situation, because, as someone in the movie pointed out, 200 million women alive today have had their genitals removed, but you cut one man part off and the whole world goes insane.

But I didn’t really pay attention to it at the time. If you mention any newsworthy event that occurred in the 1980s or 1990s, in my mind I am passing through the living room du jour (I moved a lot) of my current rental, glancing hurriedly at the news. Any news event. Name it. I am standing watching it for a moment while brushing my teeth or running past to get black tights or what have you. I am never just sitting quietly on couch du jour watching the news.

Where the hell was I always going? Somewhere with alcohol or men or both, is where I was going.

It’s the same with any TV show from those decades. I never really watched any show. My mother was watching something in the kitchen while I was headed out, or some friend really liked a show so I heard about it at work. Otherwise, I didn’t watch TV.

The only show I can really remember sitting down for sure and watching was Thirtysomething. And occasionally Moonlighting because it came on right after. I’m sure I had other shows but I can’t remember any sitting and viewing of them. I was on the go for two decades. Now I’m on the stop.

Melrose Place! I sat and watched that. My roommate du jour and I had a deal, that if it was a really good episode, we’d go to the bar after. Melrose Place came on on a Tuesday.

Anyway, John Wayne Bobbitt. He abused that poor woman. I never really paid attention to that part, and that’s, in fact, what a lot of the documentary is about. That we paid attention to the severed part and not the abused part. I’m not saying she was justified, she wasn’t. But it’s a man’s world, man.

Currently, Lorena Bobbitt works with abused women and is still lovely and very thoughtful. She remarried (can you imagine the bachelor party jokes?) and has a child.

John Wayne Bobbitt can’t hold down a job, not even at the Bunny Ranch, and beat several woman who called the cops on him, and who knows how many who didn’t. He held one woman hostage for days, thought she was dead, wrapped her in a sheet to dispose of her, and she escaped because she’d been playing dead.

So. My opinion of him is not positive. I don’t not have warm regard for John Bobbitt.

While I’m on the subject of TV and being on the stop, for YEARS now my Amazon Prime has shown me images of shows I might like, and there’s been one little square that shows a crying woman. That show is called Fleabag. Every time I saw it, I was put off by the crying woman. Buck up.

But finally one day that I was home actually sitting on my couch and not rushing off to a bar or to see men because I never do either of those things anymore because both give me a headache, finally I clicked on the description of Fleabag.

Fleabag is a hilarious and poignant window into the mind of a dry-witted, sexual, angry, grief-riddled woman, as she hurls herself at modern living in London. Award-winning playwright Phoebe Waller-Bridge writes and stars as Fleabag, an unfiltered woman trying to heal, while rejecting anyone who tries to help her and keeping up her bravado all along.

Well, holy shit. Why didn’t I watch this ages ago?

And? IT WAS GREAT. Oh my god I love that show. And? Season two came out last week. I watched, of course, all of it in two days, because I really hate that TV people now thinks five shows is a “season.” It’s not a season, it’s a fleck.

My point is, highly recommend if you have Amazon Prime.

Oooo! Wait!

I forgot! A few days ago I re-became an Amazon Associate. Re-became is a strong proud word.

Any time I add an image that’s a link to Amazon, like above, if you click on it and buy ANYTHING on Amazon right then, I get credit for it. So, for example, if you wanted Amazon Prime, or a knife for severing parts, or the box set of Thirtysomething, which I don’t know if that exists but hooo care you get my point, all you have to do is go to Amazon from my page. It doesn’t cost you extra and I get some $$.

Or let’s say you want this unicorn head whose hair you can style. Or let’s say you want a book and not a unicorn head at all. You can STILL click on that unicorn’s head and it will get you to Amazon to buy said book and it still counts as a purchase you made from my blog.

This is all good news because today I go see a trainer. Yes.

I am ENORMOUS and I hate myself. I don’t even weigh the most I’ve ever weighed, it’s just that oh my god what happened and why am I Jabba the Hut. So I told myself I’d do Tracy Anderson each morning and I’ve done it like twice. Then I told myself I’d go to the gym and I know if I do I’d just go walk on the treadmill and look the same after.

Then I said I’d get up early to go to yoga ONE MILE AWAY but have I ever gone? We also have free yoga at work and HAVE I EVER GONE?

Well. Yes. Once. In like 2013.

So, this way I have to show up because someone is waiting for me. She’s someone Austin recommended and have you all seen Austin? Anyway, extra cash to help pay for this would be nice. CLICK ON THAT UNICORN HEAD. GET YOU SOMETHING OFFA AMAZON!

And you don’t have to be all snotty and be like, “I already am hooked up on Amazon with a REPUTABLE CHARITY, JUNE, and can’t go on there through you.” Geez Louise, that’s fine. Stop making me feel bad for trying to make a little money in the least-intrusive way possible. Am I all BUY MY BOOK? Am I all BUY MY TUPPERWARE? Am I all PAY TO READ THIS BLOG? No. I’m putting in an image you can click on or not.

People get so pissy about money. I’d say out of all the bloggers I know I’m the least mercenary.

Not that there are any bloggers anymore.

Oh, dear, I’d better go. I have to find workout clothes and so on.

Yours in baking, I have no idea why I said that,
June

50 thoughts on “An unfiltered woman trying to heal, while rejecting anyone who tries to help her

  1. I watched 30something for a while. Annoyed by whatshiswife’s pronunciation of “Ell-ee-ut,” then got sick of Michael mournfully saying “Hope” with the delicate little “p” at the end, and when she hissed something like “why is it never about me?” when it always was, I was done.
    Furthermore, wasn’t it dark brown all the time? Or was I?

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  2. I was the exact same way in the 90’s. On the go to a bar or to a man, or both and never, ever watched TV, EXCEPT for Melrose Place! My girlfriend and I lived in a little 4 plex with other single men and it was (oh how much i want to use an ellipse) such a carefree, fun time. With wine.
    I’ll think of what I need on Amazon. Thanks Joon, lovely post.

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  3. Lovely post, pretty June. I’ve been remiss in posting that lately since moving sucks. I recently discovered Sabrina the Teenage Witch is on the oldies channel (regular TV, no cable) weekend evenings. My better half “magically” finds something else to do in that hour!
    The reboot shows all scare me…what will happen if they fall down and break a hip?

    There’s paper towel kickbacks in the future for you because, well, dog in the house and the aforementioned moving.

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  4. I watched Lorena a few months ago and I genuinely felt terrible for her. To think that John still writes her letters and wants to get back together with her? 🤢

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  5. I came back to say I did not know all that about John Bobbitt but I always felt a woman had to be treated pretty badly in order to get angry enough to do what Lorena did. Bob-it is right.

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  6. I am going to check out Fleabag! I keep seeing it and never watch as I hate to get involved with a series… but maybe this is not so bad as it is short.
    I did watch a movie on Prime the other night which was so funny – laugh out loud funny! Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder… Destination Wedding! I highly recommend it…:)

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  7. Fleabag 4ever! That look she gives. Omg. And then that thing? And the other thing? OMG!!!

    I love this new era of TV. Crown me. Fleabag yr ash off. Give me all your Russian Dolls. I even liked that recent effing scary show and I hate scary.

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  8. Thank you for the Amazon link June. It is a small way for me to pay you for your amazing content. I have been with a trainer for over a year now. He has been very helpful and keeps me going to the gym and doesn’t listen to my excuses – although he does recognize life happens. I highly recommend.

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  9. Ok, I’m giving Fleabag a go. Have scrolled by that icon many times.
    For a totally ridiculous show, check out It’s Bruno on Netflix. About a guy and his dog in Brooklyn. My 31 year old daughter had the remote…whatcha gonna do ?Laughed our asses off. Not literally, because still enormous.

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  10. I’ve had Amazon Prime for a few years but have never watched any of the shows. My son and his roommate do because they don’t have cable. There are several shows I’d like to watch but I know that my husband would rather gauge his eyes out with a spork than watch Mrs. Maisel or The Crown. I guess I’d have to wait until he goes out of town or something.

    I actually had to Google 1990’s TV shows because I can’t remember diddly squat these days. Wings, Cybill, Northern Exposure, Murphy Brown, Frasier.

    Better you make extra money from Amazon than trying to push one of the many MLMs that friends and family keep pushing. No, I DON’T want to join your “team” and become a “Boss Babe” thankyouverymuch.

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  11. I am trying to tip you but i keep getting an error – it says we can’t do that right now. Ill keep trying but wanted to mention it.

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  12. My doctor, who missed “bedside manner day” at doctor school, tells me every appointment, “At your age you have to work harder just to not gain, let alone lose weight. That’s how women’s bodies are.”
    I turn 50 in July, so there you go. Uphill battle in every way just to not be disgusted by myself in the mirror.

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  13. I have nothing to say but I will put it in writing to boost the comment numbers. Because I must have Joon with my morning coffee. I am not at all selfish.

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  14. I watched all of Fleabag season two the night before last, because I couldn’t figure out how to get the show on that I really wanted (I Love Dick), and oh my god Fleabag was fantastic! Loved it. Supposedly there won’t be a season 3. But the star is also a producer so there is or will be more good stuff out there from her. -Kate

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  15. I used to watch 30 Something a bit. We liked ER. I gross out easily, so I had to turn away often. I loved WINGS! omg!! Um, I blog! Not that anyone reads IT or anything.. I just posted ‘Said no wife ever’ which I though was kinda funny. Would love for you to check it out.

    I work out every day – or almost. But yet, I cannot shed anything. My husband is all ‘Intake’ -He’s lucky I don’t have a sharp knife. Um, I have cut down on portion size and stopped eating three different breakfasts (all healthy and mostly protein) and decided to just suffer thru the morning and drink lots of water to try not to be super hungry. Still – the weight won’t budge. Lately, I workout hard at my early morning classes and then push a very very heavy quadruple stroller with the babies I babysit for an hour long sweat dripping walk. Still the same. I did weigh the same as Mr. Rodgers, but then I gained 2 pounds – only he was pleased with his weight. (I just watched the documentary). I have Amazon Prime but I have no idea how to get the shows to my not-so-smart TV. If I am watching Mr. Rodgers documentaries, then clearly I need to tune into something more fun, like Fleabag.

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  16. You had me at thirtysomething. I’m still not over Gary. And why or why did he marry that horrible woman? Susannah. Ugh.

    Thanks for the Amazon heads up – ordering me some stuff this very day!

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  17. I’m glad you re-upped with Amazon. I, too, am about to order knives (for the kitchen, as Tee emphasized). I am finally getting around to finishing Nurse Jackie and waiting for the next episode of Crown, sure, but also of Ozark.

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  18. I sympathize with the weight gain. I’ve often thought that my stomach’s getting to be like a giant Nerf ball.

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  19. The crying woman on the icon for Fleabag has turned me off, too, but I will go watch the trailer. Could use some funny – just finished the second season of No Offence on Acorn (British police procedural focusing on female characters). \

    Whomever made the comment about being weight-fluid – whale or hippo – LOVE. Made me laugh out loud in the office but I refused to explain. Woman O’Mystery, here.

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  20. I keep seeing the ads for fleabag. Guess I’ll have to check it out. Thanks, June.

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  21. Someone should invent a TaskRabbit service for exercising. Like “I’m too busy sitting on my couch debating watching Fleabag to pick up my dry cleaning or to work out… can you do those things for me? Here’s $10.” I would be SO in shape. I would run half marathons via the service. I would say “Oh, I’ll use your Amazon link next time I go to buy something,” but we both know I’ll forget about it 3 seconds from after leaving this page.

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  22. Lovely post Coot.
    My favorite 90s show was Wings.
    I have not watched Flea Bag but will now. I love ThebCrown and if course Mrs Mazel. I often think of you when watching Mrs Mazel.

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  23. “I was on the go for two decades. Now I’m on the stop.” Flomp! WHY didn’t you tell us you are back on Amazon! I just ordered a couple of Kyocera knives (they are razor sharp, but I’m using them in the kitchen). I will use your link so you get credit, I really am glad you are back to the Amazon.

    I have never been a real follower of TV programs….until the past year and I am hooked on The Big Bang. I am sad they just finished their series. Also, too I love Young Sheldon. It’s laugh out loud funny, to me. Maybe that’s a southern thing.

    You are not alone with the weight thing. I am back to where I was at Christmas. Could be I’ve been on a see-food-diet, eating everything I see. I just made green smoothies for the next few days and I’m back to eating more salads.
    Tee

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    • I have never really watched that show, but any time I happened upon it I’d end up laughing. Also, don’t get mad, mom, but apparently there’s a therapist mom on the show that everyone says is you.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Oh, I love me some Amazon Prime! I almost never have to leave the house to purchase anything. Which to me is a big win cause it is very peopley out there. I prefer to stay home with my cat and my Amazon Prime and have things delivered. I will now wander into Amazon through June’s link!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Can you let me know if that trainer thing works to get you motivated? Because I weight 75 pounds more than I ever have in the past and I truly despise myself.

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  26. I too, am enormous. I hope it’s because I have a benign tumor that weighs about 20 lbs in my poofy abdomen but I guess it’s probably chips, cookies, and beer. (Not all at the same time but frequently all on the same day.) I’m trying a free month of Barre Xtend through my computer. I really don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t recommend it because I already hate the tiny, happy instructor. I saw it on Facebook and was hopeful. She doesn’t modify enough is another thought.

    Hope your training session goes well.

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  27. Thank you. I have a three-day weekend yawning in front of me and now I can watch Fleabag.

    OMG, Thirtysomething. I don’t know if I was the exact right age or the exact wrong age, but I loved that show. They were angsty, privileged, whiny and insufferable but I loved and hated each one of them in their own way. Why isn’t that show getting a reboot? We should be able to watch Hope and Michael in assisted living with Janey and Leo refusing to visit them. Elliot must be on his fourth too-young wife by now and Nancy has been canonized. Or did she die? No, I think Gary died. And I bet Melissa and Ellyn are a couple.

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    • Thank you. I need to watch an unfiltered woman trying to heal. I also need to rejoin Amazon’s Prime to do that. I pledge to use this button every time I order. A unicorn head. Lovely post June.

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    • Loved Thirtysomething back in my 20s. I hated Hope with a hatred that burned as bright as three suns. I think now I’m 53, my head would explode if I watched Hope batter Michael around. I watched mostly to see hunky Michael. I also remember I worked all day, drove to a night college class, raced home, got on my exercise bike and biked throughout the entire episode. I don’t have that energy anymore. I would die.

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  28. I loved Fleabag. There weren’t enough episodes in season 2!! I’m a tad upset about that.

    I’m impatiently waiting for season 3 of the Crown.

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  29. Thanks for the recommendation. I shy away from watching on Amazon because I can never figure out how to work the fast forward and return for some reason (I need the return because I am prone to wandering out of the room). Also, I’m glad you’ll be getting some $ from Amazon. If people want to make it easy on themselves they can save your link as a shortcut instead of using a generic Amazon link. I did that last time and will do again (my charity can take a break).

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