June, the bluebird of delight

My back hurts so much I might have to take aspirin.

Those, “I don’t take pills” people annoy me. You’re not a hero. You’re someone not taking something that will make you feel better. The reason I’m mentioning taking aspirin is I pop approximately 492 migraine pills a month but never Advil or what have you because I just never need it. But I got some to have on hand just in case, and here we are, having a case.

(Also on my list of people who annoy me is anyone who differentiates between aspirin, Advil or Tylenol. Oh my god, they all do the same thing. Relax.)

Anyway, I have a generic bottle of some aspirin-ish item in the cupboard. Let me go hunch over and get it, as clearly my pain has made me cranky. Yeah, June, that’s it. Pre-pain you were a bluebird of delight.

…Ibuprofen. That’s what I just took. I don’t know if in real life generic Ibuprofen is Tylenol or Advil or what. And it’s not even expired! Will someone remind me in February 2020 that my aspirin or Advil or whatever has expired?

I somehow ruined my back after my last personal trainer visit. I told my trainer about my back and she was appalled.

I wasn’t. I mean, I’m old and injuries happen. I have a sports injury! This is exciting! Anyway, she had to reschedule me, and I think it all works out for the best that I won’t see her today, as ow.

Plus also too, this weekend my neighbor, R, texted me to ask if I wanted any daylilies. Her friend knew of a place that’s being renovated where they just TORE UP all the daylilies and put them on this truck. The friend of R climbed back there and rescued them, and then had an abundance and was giving away the daylilies.

So in the heat of the afternoon, R wheelbarreled over some lilies and some mulch and we dug and we pulled root balls and we planted and we mulched and then my back said goddamit, OW.

So that might not have been smart.

She was here twice this weekend, my neighbor R. I like hanging around with her–it’s very easy to just sit in the yard or on your glider and not say much and sip your coffee and what have you.

Before I moved here, I had this vision of having a neighborhood friend who’d come sit on my front porch with me, and now it’s come true. It took 12 years but it came true.

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Portrait of a quitter

My other big weekend news, beyond the excitement of daylilies and a sore back, is that I gave up on growing out my roots gray. I’M TOO VAIN. I couldn’t do it.

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Portrait of a natural woman

I think I want to go more blonde next time. Or as my poor misguided Uncle Leo once said, “I like your natural blonde, honey.”

Natural blonde.

You know what we’ve done? We’ve ruined the rare beauty of blonde hair by oversaturating the market with it, same as we’ve done with roses and rainbows. You see them all the time and now it’s eh. Give me a lilac. Give me pink hair.

Still. I want to be back to my natural blonde.

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The other thing that’s new, other than my back and my hair and my daylilies, which I didn’t photograph but maybe I will since I can’t shut up about them. They’re yellow. Are you happy with that? Is that good enough?

Anyway. The other thing that’s new is I have exploded on the dating-sites scene. I don’t know why the increase in my popularity other than this sparkling personality and also I’ve started offering rewards points.

Every time I go on one of these dates, I take a picture of the tableau (see above). Recently I met a man for ice cream so I took a picture of our surroundings instead because it’s hard to hold ice cream and photograph.

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Not a tableau

Anyway, I was on the phone with my father this weekend and began describing in detail each person I’ve had or will have dates with, and we were discussing who sounds the most promising and so forth, when he said, “Wait, how is it you’re this popular? Are you on Silver Singles or something?”

Silver Singles.

I’m on dyed-brown singles.

I’ve gotta go hunch over to work, where I’m certain the people who sit near me are going to enjoy hearing about my sports injury maybe once or twice. Here are more pictures from my weekend, in which I took full advantage of my lovely back yard.

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I can tell I’d already gardened as my ankles are filthy. Yes, I gardened in my pajama bottoms. Hooo care.

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hoo there?

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dignitee

When I was little, I was content to play with no one, and just be alone with my stuffed animals. I have grown up and pretty much created the same world, except my stuffed animals need feeding.

Talk to you tomorrow, when I’m certain I will not bring up m’back at all.

Backhandedly,
June

78 thoughts on “June, the bluebird of delight

  1. Your hair looks fabulous! Much better than it would gray! Your house and yard and fur babies – soooo precious and adorable. It feels like it must be so cozy there.
    I do yard work in my jammies all the time! lol Such fun, huh?

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  2. My answer to aches and pains was to marry a physical therapist. (The downside: he has religious zealot parents). He does not believe in medication, which drives me nuts. I need both medication and a PT husband to cope with my VERY low tolerance of pain.

    I am so jealous of your neighbor that you enjoy hanging out with- sounds dreamy. I am stricken with only grouchy neighbors.

    Glad the dating thing is going well.

    My fav part of this post is you comparing your child/stuffed animal self with adult self that now feeds animal buddies. Ok, so you worded it better.

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  3. We all need to give YOU reward points, this post and comments made me smile the whole time I read it.
    Edz and Mil , what a team. I am very glad Millhouse just worked his way into your life. Seriously , it is like he has been there forever.

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  4. Just a tiny bit of advice (sorry to offer any): all kinds of lilies are poisonous to Lily. And to her feline roommates.
    Your hair looks marvelous, even though I’m one who voted “blonder and gradually let the grays come in.”
    I’m currently considering a haircut change and I am terrified.
    Pain sucks. Physical and emotional.
    Did you know that in the old days, Bayer literally produced over-the-counter heroin and cocaine? People were taking it right and left. Giving it to kids too. It took like 30 years for people to figure out it was addicting. But morphine is still the best drug ever made (except for the “little” addiction problem!) for pain. Poppies are good things. I’ve never had morphine or opium or heroin but I hear they’re pretty amazing for severe pain.

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  5. Ibuprofen is an anti-inflammatory, the others are not, and so it is the one I use most. But I find for a really bad headache, ibuprofen+Tylenol is far better than either one alone. Bonus, there is research indicating that Tylenol can ease emotional pain too, because of the brain pathways it blocks or whatever. I tried it a few times during the whole unfortunate “the woman I love is choosing someone else” episode and you know, I think it did take the edge off a little bit, at least temporarily.

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  6. Lookit that first photo of Edsel and Mi(l)lhous(e) on the bedspread. I need to be able to do what Mil is doing with his spine.

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  7. My late MIL used to go through a bottle of Tylenol every month. I don’t know how her liver/kidney even functioned. Of course, she was also addicted to Xanax.

    I used to take 2 Advil every night before I went to bed because my hips and knees would ache so badly throughout the night. Finally got a new bed (Sleep Number, I love you!) and waddya know, the hip and knee pain went away. Now, I just take Advil if I have a raging headache or if I’ve done a half-marathon or something like that.

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  8. Oh, man. Sorry your back hurts. That’s the worst. Hope you feel better. Love the pics of Edz and Milhaus. They seem made for each other. Best buds. Partners in crime, sorta. Glad you’re dating, too. And isn’t it ironic that when you made the decision to not be all desperate in the dating area, swearing off men and coming to terms that you’re responsible for your own happiness…isn’t it ironic that now guys are knocking down your door? Self-confidence is sexy; desperate, not so much. You go girl!!

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    • I feel the need to point out I have never felt desperate to date. But yes, there seems to be a preponderance of men lately.

      >

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  9. Purchase yourself some Biofreeze. It comes in roll-on. You roll it in one direction only (IDK why but that’s what it says) and it works on the pain even deep down. I have no idea how. My husband was a huge doubter for me putting this on his back and it worked for days. My chiropractor sold it to me when all my things were misaligned and the lower back pain was unbearable. Trust me on this, it’s worth getting.

    Also, I love Edsel and Mill together so very much. And your yard, of course. I have to get a few new cushions because I stored mine in our outhouse (the holes are closed but it was a 2-seater, which I think is fancy), which is also where I keep the chicken feed. And the mice wintered in some cushions and dined on my chicken feed, so Ima need a few new cushions and why are then $7564.98 each for the love of God?

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  10. I’m so glad you gave in to vanity! I could not let my grays grow out, nope, only 53, Sally Field is my inspiration, she looks fab at 70-something.

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  11. Reward points and Silver Singles! Love your happy new cushions, your gorgeous back yard and Edsel and Milhous together. Hope your back is starting to feel better.

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      • I had a cat whose eyes were so bad (and she wasn’t very bright either) that she would get lost in the basement. We’d hear this piteous meowing and go down there to find her facing the wall. “There’s a wall and I can’t get out!”

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  12. Lovely post, Coot. Back pain is the worst. Right now it’s my neck. I go around kvetching, oh my aching neck. No one cares. I went to my doctor and she sent me straight away to Dr. Mark, the chiropractor. Why is it chiropractors are Dr. First Name but my internist is all Dr. Von Last Name Only Don’t Call Me Fred? I mean after all Dr. VLNODCMF is all of 30 years old. He is my junior. Maybe I should just call him Dr. Junior. Anyhows, I went to Dr. FN and he told me to rub CBD oil on my neck. First, he rubbed my neck, then he cracked it, then he got the car polisher out and vibrated it, my neck, that is and then he rubbed CBD oil on it, my neck that is. My neck felt so much better. (I bet you want me to say neck one more time). Dr. Junior would have never even mentioned CBD

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    • My husband was having some major hip pain and of course, the earliest doctor appointment is June 14. The pain has bothered him so much that he couldn’t sleep. So I went down to my local dispensary and bought some crazy expensive ointment that is 50% THC oil and 50% CBD oil. He rubbed some of the ointment on and within about 30 minutes, said the pain was gone and he had the best night’s sleep. After a week of using the ointment, he says he is pain free and hasn’t needed it for the last few days. That ointment was worth every penny.

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  13. Wow girl! So many dates. Just when I think I’ve given up I see stuff like this and wonder if I should try again.

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  14. I’m glad you chose vanity; gray hair only works on about 2% of the female population in my humble opinion! I also vote yes on going blonder. Grays are much less noticeable on natural blondes. Your yard is gorgeous.

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  15. Reward point! Oh my goodness, flomp. Back is terrible, take the meds. For me, Tylenol (the white pill) is about as effective as drinking water. I take Advil (the rusty colored pill, or green gel) three at a time, but I have to eat something with it or it makes my stomach feel not good. I was given Toradol for dental pain, but after a bottle (20 tabs) of it I realize something was wrong (my heart was pounding like crazy). It caused my blood pressure to go up really high, for me. It worked well to relieve the pain, but the side effect was not good.

    All the photos of the animals are wonderful. Your hair looks fab, as usual. Can I say fab? Your yard is so beautiful, I have yard envy.

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  16. Poor thing! Back pain is the worst. I can’t take painkiller pills so I had to go alt med/body work on my back pain. Found some things that work & turns out it was leg muscles and hip flexors the whole time! I was shocked.

    (Dear Body, Wtf? Please put pain at actual pain location. Obfuscation not needed. Tx! Lylas!)

    (Dear June, Your post is so good. Rewards points! Feel better soon!)

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    • Mads, I recently went to the orthopod with severe knee pain, but I told him I thought it was coming from my hip. Turns out, I was right. Knee was fine, hip not so much.

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      • Whoa. So hips are like a thing? Actually feel better knowing I’m not alone. Do we have a ribbon color? Sincerely hope everyone’s hips are doing well, Mads

        P.S. To everyone who finished Fleabag……
        [spoiler ahead!]
        is Kristen Scott Thomas right about menopause?

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    • Mads, I had pain in my groin, thought it was a yoga injury. Next thing I know, I’m getting a new hip. Surprise!

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  17. Oy! I feeeel ya’ on the yard work induced back pain. Good grief I’ve done enough yard work the past several weekends to last til fall (I hope!). Now I’ll mince around the house for three days.
    Eye roll to the “I don’t like taking medicine” people. I overheard a conversation between two people not long ago. Lady 1 sanctimoniously commented that she doesn’t take medicine, how Americans are overmedicated and should practice mindfullness instead, blah blah. (All of which may be true.) Lady 2 with a completely straight face said she was so glad to hear that Lady 1 didn’t need medication and that mindfullness worked, but she and her doctor had found that stage 4 ovarian cancer didn’t respond to mindfullness. BOOM! Lady 1 backpedaled like crazy, but she looked horrified. Maybe next time she’ll keep her mouth shut. Most people don’t LIKE taking medicine, but many need to to STAY ALIVE.
    Now, on to brighter things – your pink chair cushions and navy blue toes are divine! It’s a good feeling to have good neighbors.
    OK, bye!

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  18. Have you ever tried Excedrin? That is what works for me. Is the combo of Tylenol, aspirin and a little caffeine thrown in for fun.

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  19. You went to Yum-Yums! Yea you.
    Ibuprofen is metabolized through the kidneys; acetaminophen through the liver. Important distinctions if you have either kidney or liver disease. Also, ibuprofen can eat at the stomach lining more quickly – this may be part of your “hurl” reaction. But, ibuprofen acts more quickly with less medicine, so. Pick your battles.
    Gorgeous photos of the natural blondes and the yard!

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  20. What I love is people coming into A&E with back pain but then refusing painkillers. I do not have an acupuncture kit at hand!

    I love that you have a neighbour friend. A young couple has moved in next door and I’m trying to be friendly but not too friendly as it’s not really done here. I might know their names by July.

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  21. Ahem. I believe Tylenon and Advil are two different things because I’m not supposed to take Tylenol but I am allowed to take Advil. “Allowed.” Also, due to recent tooth discomfort, I took way too many of both and probably broke my liver (in the double digits. within twelve hours. wasn’t smart). Which is why I’m not supposed to take Tylenol in the first place.

    And those people who have a high tolerance to pain? Also me. But what sucks is that you don’t feel the pain beginning, just when it becomes really bad and by that time it takes a lot of pain killers to work. And if you have a high tolerance to pain (me) you also have a high tolerance to pain killers (also me). See also: Vicodin does as much as a TicTac. See also: Fuck oral surgeons.

    My favorite dating sight is the one for chubby chicks: KraftSingles.com.

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    • Tylenol/paracetamol overuse makes your liver sad. Advil/ibuprofen and aspirin make your gastric lining sad at normal doses and kidneys sad at overuse doses. Just make a list of all the things taking the brunt for when you see your oral surgeon again.

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      • Because of my arthritis medication, I have my blood drawn every six weeks. That is what alerted the doctor to the liver issue the first time and got me taken off Tylenol. I am due to have the blood drawn now. I see a stern talking-to in my future for the overuse of OTC painkillers.

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    • I have a chronically low platelet supply, so I’m very careful about taking aspirin or ibuprofen. I’m also allergic to codeine, but had a surgeon try to give me some. I refused and he got snippy. He said just because you itch after you take codeine doesn’t mean you are allergic. I told him my reaction is a swollen tongue and throat. No one said anything about itching! He gave me a different prescription without comment. I think he was a little mad at me.

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  22. I’m a medication hoarder. I’ll even set reminders on my calendar to refill things like muscle relaxers or ear drops or pain meds, etc. Even if I don’t need them anymore right that minute, you never know when I might again.
    The rewards points on the dating sites was my favorite laugh of the day.
    Have I ever told you that sometimes when I know my day at work isn’t going to be great I will wait to read your non-blog. Then when I’m super frustrated or sad or whatever, I sit at my desk and read that day’s post. It always gives me a laugh or lift for the day.
    Also those pink cushions are excellent for that toenail polish!

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  23. Glad you have a new backyard friend and some daylilies, too. I did some yard work over the long weekend, too. The yard looks nice, but I’m feeling some muscles that don’t usually get that kind of workout!

    (Ducking a liver) There may be useful differences for people between the different kinds of painkillers. Tylenol is less likely to irritate your stomach and if you’re on blood thinners (or prone to nose bleeds, as my daughter is), it doesn’t thin your blood the way ibuprofen or aspirin do. But if you need the anti-inflammatory mechanism, you’ll want an NSAID like ibuprofen. https://www.health.harvard.edu/pain/12-things-you-should-know-about-pain-relievers

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  24. Your hair looks great! Glad you are having fun dates lately. Edsel and Milhous kill me they are too sweet together. Oh! PS: since everyone said it was so good, I binge watched both seasons of Fleabag. I laughed so much, brilliant writing, I’m sorry to hear it is ending.

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  25. Back pain sucks. Plain and simple. I hope the pills give you some relief.

    I spent Saturday morning spreading 3 yards of mulch and my back was screaming. I took 4 Advil and a shower and got ready for the wedding we were going to. I went to put my cute sandals on and that’s when I found out the puppy had eaten the insole out of one of those sandals. Hoo care, I wore them anyway.

    Reward points killed me dead.

    Lovely photos, June.

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  26. Better living through chemistry. Do what works… no one needs to win the Pain Olympics. I see a chiropractor 2x/week (I know, not for everyone; don’t tell me how it’s quack science, thankyouverymuch it works for me)

    Also – those raspberry cushions are fabulous!!

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  27. Sorry about the back and I am all GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE DRUGS too! Paula’s tale of major dental work with no pain killers prescribed terrifies me. WTF, man, we are not all addicts, even those of us with addicted close relatives. I am addicted to pasta, tacos, warm bread with butter, etc. Yard work is a killer.

    I like your hair dyed. I am due for mine to be done too.

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  28. Thank you for saying it. The no- pill takers. They irk me. If I have one iota of discomfort I’m reaching for something because I live in 2019, not 1819, and pain relievers are readily available.

    There is construction on my street. They are finally replacing our water mains that were probably installed in 1819. The reason I bring this up is while I’m sitting here, reading this non-blog and eating oatmeal at 7:18 am, they’re already out there, pushing big steel things down the street and it makes the worst nails on the chalkboard sound. I’m ready to slice someone up.

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