The one where there’s too much emphasis on Billy Joel

Someone once pointed out to me that most Billy Joel songs are just Billy Joel complaining about someone, and now when I listen to his songs I’m all, gol’ dangit. It’s true.

Dag nabbit. Okay, I’m done not swearing.

Anyway, Billy Joel. Everyone works too hard, or doesn’t fulfill his or her potential, or is a stranger, or god forbid a virgin. He does seem to enjoy an uptown girl, but look what happened there.

Hang on. Frida’s crying. …Now I’m typing one-handed holding kitten.

My hair is ludicrously wet, as first I had to clean up after kittens, then physically clean kittens because they look like this after they eat:

and then I had to feed them again so I can start this process over at noon. Today I tried giving them only dry kitten food, with a little moisture, to see if they can eat that. I heard teensy crunches, so maybe that will work and I won’t have to go through this slop face 3x a day.

So anyway, that was my issue today and I couldn’t wash hair till just a few moments ago, and now my choices are go to work with soaking-wet hair or blow it dry and look like Chaka Khan the copyeditor. I read for youuuu!

And speaking of Billy Joel, which we no longer were, if I die of a heart attack and people ask you what happened, I need you to say,

“Heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack.”

Thank you.

Anyway, that’s all that’s new. I have zero plans for the 4th of July, which dags my nabbit. Remember a few years ago when I didn’t have plans and I ended up watching the fireworks with the clerks at the grocery store? I see I’ve come far since then with the social life thing. Maybe I should text them. See what they’re doing. “Hey, dudes! Remember me? What do you mean no?”

Oh! And while we’re here bemoaning my life, my boss, crnt., decided to just keep the two pair of shorts, out of all the clothes that we looked at and voted on last week.

Also too, I know I said I needed a hobby, and do you know what I want to try to do? Apparently you can find antique roses, like really old ones, and try to plant them. They don’t do all the things new roses do: they don’t bloom twice in a season, and they aren’t tight and perfect like my ass. But they apparently smell wonderful. I want to get me some of those and see if I can grow them.

I realize I’ve picked a hobby that keeps me at home, with no people in sight, alone on the 4th of July and sometimes even Christmas. Go, me. Go Thorn Bird Rosy June.

All right, I have to get ready for work and decide which thing to do with m’hair. Either way I’m walking out of here looking ridic. Am not an uptown girl by any stretch. Maybe Billy Joel will read this and write a song complaining about my hair.

You may be right. I may be frizzy,

58 thoughts on “The one where there’s too much emphasis on Billy Joel

  1. I don’t comment much because I moved a couple of years ago from Sacramento to France and am still settling in, but I read you often and am excited about your new hobby of growing antique roses. I’ve been growing them for years (I purchased from Antique Rose Emporium in Texas because they send roses through the mail in good condition, on their own roots, that are large enough to have roses soon) and one of the first things I did in France was find the growers here. Take a look at clematis too — they’re gorgeous planted with the old roses.


  2. I’ve never liked Billy Joel. So sue me.
    Kittens…so dirty, so cute. Sigh.
    I think you might enjoy a local garden club type of thing!
    I just had to shut my windows because of all the assholes setting off loud illegal fireworks everywhere. Grrrr. They’re scaring my nervous kitty, poor baby.


  3. Being in vancouver time zone is throwing me off- I feel like there wer 2 posts today?, but I’ve been a fool for lesser things.

    Ok that was weak, A for effort?


  4. I had a long work day and then I came home and had more work to do. There were no kitten faces to enjoy. I wish I had curly hair and lots of it, like you do. I have straight thin hair. I have it cut into a bob wherein I watch all of the sparkly white and grey hair grow in among the brown threads. I have hair envy. Sometimes older women with thick white hair come into the office and I can’t hear them speak because the glory of the thick wedge of hair in front of me blocks out their words.

    Laurie (Lucy’s mom)


  5. Oh man those are some raggedy kitties. I used to love Billy Joel but I got over it. The roses sound wonderful. I have been too scared of roses to every grow them . They have a reputation of not working well where I live. But a few years ago my dad gifted me one that is an easy care type and I love it. Favorite part of my yard.


  6. My favorite Billy Joel song starts out “ah 1, ah 2, ah 1, 2, 3, 4. Matter of time? trust? Something.

    My hobby needs to be cleaning all the weeds out my damn flower beds. It’s bad. Even worse is my friend lives right across the street with her landscaper husband. I can only imagine what he says about my mess.


  7. I was at a Dudley Riggs improv show in Minneapolis in the 80s. All I remember is a guy under a spotlight, wearing a suit, carrying a briefcase, singing about his lonely life. Chorus: ” Ah YAAAAAAAM… an in-sur-ance ma-a-an.” High art.


  8. Heirloom roses are the shit and totally social! Clubs, nurseries, classes, garden tours all for rose devotees or just general gardening. My MIL adores her garden club group (gather, drink wine, eat tasteees, travel. gardening not required). That’s an awesome hobby!


  9. The 4th started early here this morning. Heard a big ol’ boom at 5 a.m. No, not fireworks — a transformer, so there went my morning coffee…

    Grubby kittehs, big hurr, old roses — so much to love about this post. Billy Joel? Eh.


  10. Billy Joel is okay but he’s no Barry Gibb. We are tranquilizing our two nervous cats for the 4th as my neighbors spend all their discretionary funds on illegal fireworks. Rockets red glare indeed.


  11. I am a Billy Joel fan, but not to excess. I think his songs are clever. My favorite line in one of his songs is “when I wore a younger man’s clothes.” See? Clever.

    Your new hobby sounds great. It’s something I wouldn’t dare to try. I have the blackest thumb ever.

    Glad the kitties are crunching their food.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. It won’t stop ding dang raining here for me to make July 3rd and 4th plans. Oh, plans are made but it’s supposed to rain both days in the 6-10pm time frame. It’s been raining for the longest time. Oh, oh, oh, for the longest time.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I love Billy Joel.
    I also love those messy little kittens, but I can imagine that they are a lot more work because of the messy.
    I have to start cooking for tomorrow. That is what I do for every holiday…cook. Fun fact: I hate cooking.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I feel as if you have already decided on your hair, but are you one of those messy bun people? Women call it a messy bun but it’s all the rage – not like you really feel like it looks terrible, but like you feel that it looks cute all artfully twisted it on your head. I want to be one of those people but my hair is skinny, like my ass, much to my dismay, and my bun looks like a cinni-mini. It’s terrible.


  15. I can only think about your fireman posts of days of yore (smoke detectors, puppy gifting) and “we didn’t start the fire” is in my head.

    I saw Billy Joel in concert two years ago yesterday. He introduced himself with “you know how you go to concerts and you have to hear all the band’s new songs that you don’t know because the album isn’t out yet and you just want to hear what you already know? That’s all this concert is, the same old shit. I don’t have new shit, this is the old shit.”
    It was a fabulous concert.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey Andrea,
      I saw him two summers ago as well, his “baseball stadium” tour, so he had a MN Twins jersey on. Guest starring… Mr. Axl Rose. We were up way high, but it was a perfect summer evening, we faced downtown Mpls and the sun setting reflected on all the glassy high rises. It was a terrific show. And, I’d seen him before. There were these 20/30-something guys in front of us who knew all the words to the old songs, just bopping along. They weren’t even born in the ’80s.


  16. I bet there’s an antique roses club around here. And you would be a breath of fresh air to its members if you showed up. But being a breath of fresh air to other people is maybe not quite what you had in mind.


  17. Those sweet kittens. Roses are such nice flowers. My neighbor has them and they are so lovely, when they are blooming she always has fresh flowers in her house. I think I’m fast approaching the age to do what I please. I had my hair cut really short yesterday for the summer. It was really nice to get up and just brush my hair. I would like to have long hair, but I’ve decided it makes me look old-er and really sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I’m on call for work so the only plans I have are getting paid boo-koo bucks and then I have a long weekend.

    I’ve been pondering a hobby as well. I have weekends where I’m on call and it would be nice to have something to do. Sewing? Learning to play guitar? Learn a new language? I don’t know….


  19. I had a boyfriend who looked a lot like Billy Joel. Maybe a little cuter but he had a terrible personality. What can I say? Mistakes were made.


  20. No such thing as too much Billy Joel JUNE. It’s still rock and roll to me.

    Oh those kitten faces. They eat like my one year old granddaughter – you have to feed her twice as much as she really needs to account for everything that ends up on the face, in the hair, and down the shirt. She’s basically a kitten.

    My MIL resorted to The Turban in her older years. She would pin a brooch to the front and call it good. It was really quite the sight. But when you’re old you get to do whatever the heck you want. I feel myself getting closer every day. Billy already wrote about my hair – Shades of Grey happening over here.


  21. Billy Joel. Where to begin. First of all, he gave a concert at my college (when I was a student) before he was anybody, and I’m annoyed TO THIS DAY that I didn’t go. Second, don’t get in a car with him. Third, also at college, some poor schnook trying to get my attention sang a Billy Joel song to me in a bar long before Karoake was a thing. I’m still traumatized. Fourth, Billy Joel’s poor daughter Alexa. I would have the same luck: Dad is Billy Joel, Mom is Christie Goddamn Brinkley. What happens? Alexa looks exactly like Billy Joel. How is that fair? And don’t go looking her up NOW because she’s had extensive surgery to tone down the BillyJoelness and now is gorgeous in her own right. But STILL. The DNA gods had themselves a laugh riot that day. (I picture smurf-type beings laughing and slapping each other on the back. Smurf-shaped, not blue. If you were wondering.)

    In NYC, there was a radio station and now the call letters went right out of my head, but their programming went like this: Beatles, Billy Joel, Something Else. Beatles, Billy Joel, Something Else. All day long. Dammit, what was that station? You know who will know? Deb Who’s Back To Being Deb’s Husband.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I wish they made bejeweled summertime turbans for days when I don’t want to do my hair. I’m not lazy, I’m just feeling very Gloria Swanson today!

    Also, your Thorn Bird Rosy June comment reminded me of reading The Thorn Birds as a pre-teen. Aside from the hot priest action, I remember being all about the “Ashes of Roses” dress that Meggie wore. I wonder if they make ashes of roses turbans?


  23. Your own Secret Garden. No need to stop with roses fill your whole back yard with art , plants , sitting areas, cat resting places,arbors. Go wild.

    Liked by 1 person

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