Will you still need me, will you still read me when I’m 54

/ June

In case you haven’t seen it in your local paper yet, it’s my birthday.

By the way, this weekend a neighbor was over, and she saw my Pop Tart on the wall. “Miss June. Is that a Pop Tart?”

I assured her that it was.

“You paid money for a POP TART?”

Well, actually, it was a gift.

Anyway, speaking of gifts, since it’s my bday and all, I let myself use whatever coffee cup I wanted and not the next one in line on the shelf. I know! Livin’ large!

This is a cup my coworker, fmr., Deb Downer made for me back in like aught 14 or something, and shut up about the wrong use of aught. Why I aughta…

I love the color. And it feels nice when you hold it, like my penis.

Apropos of nothing, here’s a photo of me on my 30th birthday. I was single then, too. But as you can see, surrounded by mid-90s guys. I still have that mid-90s box. We were really into celestial in the ’90s and why? It’s somewhere here. The sky and that box. It has old letters from Marvin, of all things. The box does. Not the sky. “Oh, look, it’s the Letter From Marvin constellation.”

Geez, I have the same hairdo.

I want to show you the gifts I got for m’bday, but I keep seeing other pictures I want to show you too and now I’m one of those people making you stand next to them while they scroll through their phone and you are contemplating murder-suicide.

But lookit the baby.

Also, yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away, and also I got my chair back! I had a friend from work, fmr., recover it for me, as she does that on the side. This used to be my Gumby chair. It used to be green. You can see Iris thinks she’s posing for the camera, and she is, but just in a Barbra Streisand profile and not straight on as she supposes. She’s a funny girl. See what I did, there?

Here’s a screen shot of what that chair used to look like, at my house, fmr. And now we can all admire that dresser and wish I hadn’t ruined it by painting it. Remember when I was all, What color should I paint this? and you guys were all, Don’t! and then I painted it? Remember all that? Yeah.

JK, who recovered my chair, was delighted to meet the kittens. She is a cat person herself, so the fact that six cats are peeing in my house right now was less of a tragedy because of her cat-person-ness. They’re peeing in litter boxes. Mostly. Frida up there doesn’t quite get the concept and it’s irking me. But she’s such a little sweet pea. Sweet pee.

Anyway, I see I’ve already droned on too long and I won’t have time to show you my presents, but maybe I will do so tomorrow in a Very Special June Post that won’t be special at all, it will just be me posting like any other stupid day.

sooopryse. mill howse rite this hole thing.
Seen at the brow place yesterday and holy hell this is great.

I will talk to you tomorrow. I’m your biggest fan.

Birthday June.

78 thoughts on “Will you still need me, will you still read me when I’m 54”

  1. Happy day after your birthday!
    I know it’s the Big Month o’ June so the celebration continues.
    I’ll still need to read you until my eyesight is shot, then switch to BBoJ Braille.
    I’ll miss the photos though.
    Party on!

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  7. Happy Birthday June!

    May your days be happy,
    your nights be calm;
    may prosperity come to you,
    and your animals live long.

    May your work hours be fruitful
    your weekends spark joy,
    and a man of your choosing,
    perform much better than a toy.

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  10. Aww yeah! I am saying this – at the risk of realizing (and exposing) how very old I am! ha ha
    When you were born, I had a one year old (Debbie) and a one and a half month old (Marc). Wow. Lots of grand kids around, right? I am not sure when I first met you! But your dad took some amazing pictures of Marc and Debbie with Grandpa in the backyard on Crapo street. I adore them and display them, to this day! Maybe we had come to Saginaw for one of your birthdays? 🙂 Hugs

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  13. I’m back to say that I love Deb Downer’s mug. As someone who attempted pottery classes for several years, I can appreciate the mug she made and her choice of glaze. Very nice indeed. And, no, I never made it to her level of expertise.

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  15. Happy Birthday June! I hope you have an awesome day and have at least one cake. I love the colour of the chair!

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  18. Happy Birthday!! I’m really happy you were born. I’ve been a reader for ten years and am grateful for your posts.

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  21. Happy Birthday, June. Have a wonderful day and year. I covet that chair. The fabric is perfect. Your friend did a fantastic job.

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  24. Happy Birthday, June! I was going to say “Love your tits in that top” but I read up there that you now have a penis so I’ll forgo the breast compliments. Still, I hope you get cake or pie, whichever you prefer.

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  27. Lovely post, Coot.
    Happy Birthday. I hope your 40-14 birthday is as special as all the others.
    Back when I turned 30 my sister and I started doing this thing where we would say “Oh, I’m 20-10” then I turned 40 and I was thirty-ten and then I was fifty and, well, you get the idea. Anyway, Happy Anniversary of shooting out the old birth canal.

    Also and too, let me say I love your chair. The color is perfect.

    Happy Birthday, Coot!

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  29. Happy birthday, June. I hope this is the best one yet. The chair is stunning it’s more beautiful in that reddish color than the green and green is one of my favorite colors. Loved all the pictures of the cats, of course, that is never boring for us cat people. Sweet Pea was one of my best cats ever, along with her brother Oscar Snuggles. Can’t wait for you to post tomorrow showing all your birthday presents.

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  32. Happy Birthday! Hope your day is fabulous. I’ve been a faithful reader for I think almost a decade now and I just now realized your birthday is the same as my stepson’s.

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  33. The chair turned out great. Love the Gumby label that used to be more appropriate for it. I made my husband a gumby Halloween costume once. He is 6’4″ and skinny. I could not resist. I was Pokey. Let me know if you would like to see a picture. Not as cute as your kitten photos, of course.

    You know we all still love you and read you now that you are 54. Happy birthday!

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  39. Good job Mill howse…the photo is great and a surprise to hear from you.
    I was just thinking I needed a little footstool under my desk earlier today.
    Now that I know they make them I can look for one.
    Miss June, of course we still love you and we’ll still read you after you’re 54 and more. Look forward to it every day. My happy vitamin for the day.
    Have a great day and a great party. Pizza tonight in your honor. Let’s get the party started. Happy Birthday Miss June !

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    • Beth, I have one just like that under my desk. I love it. It takes a lot of pressure off the old lower back.

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      • GladysBee . For us short legged people or tall chaired, I presume. Where did you come by yours?

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  43. Happy birthday! And, yes, I will still need you, I will still read you now you’re 54.
    Your pretty chair arrived just in time for your birthday. Have fun tonight at your pub pizza party. (Say that fast three times.)

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  46. Happy birthday. Or is it happy birth day? Imagine being able to see infant June, still wet from the baby factory, hold her in your arms and wonder what hair this way comes?
    You are precious.

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    • I was wondering the same thing. Of course she has that 90’s box, she was born with it! And yes, I am a 12 year old boy.

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  55. Wishing you the VERY best of birthdays, Juuuuunnnneeee!!! 🎂🎉🎊🎂

    Grateful that you have continued to brighten our days for another year! 🥳

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