ADD it up

In case it isn’t evident, I have the ADD. I know that’s hard to believe, what with the linear posts and all. But this week I have so many things to remember that are out of my regular routine, and I guess “regular routine” is sort of redundant. The point is, that frazzles me. Because I’m over here trying to keep everything straight in my mind and then I see tin foil and it shines and, wait, what was I saying, again?

First of all, Iris is sick.

hooo. me?

I took her to the vet two weeks ago for shots and mentioned her fur was falling out, and for no reason I can think of because I don’t have a degree in cats, the vet felt up her stomach and Iris reacted. One ultrasound later and she either has irritable bowel disorder or, you know, just cancer. That’s all.

So for two weeks I’ve been forcing steroids down her little cat neck, and she hates it and me and everything we stand for, and she’s been eating like a lion and peeing like a lion who has had 15 Bud Lights.

Today I take her back to the vet for more tests, and it’s a fasting lab, so I had to (a) remember to take food away from everyone last night, (b) remember to not feed everyone today despite waking up at 5:30 to go to trainer. I had to, like, be sharp enough to remember not to do the usual stuff at that hour. Then (c), I had to remember to work from home this morning and take her in at 9:15.

So far I’ve managed to pull this off, but it’s taken all my concentration. You’d think I was performing a bris in a pickup on a gravel road, so concentrate-y am I.

Then on Monday we’re having twin day at work, and I convinced this giant Viking of a guy to be twins with me, so I have to remember to buy a beard and wear the outfit we decided on on Monday. He also sent me an email, “Will you text me Sunday? Otherwise I’ll forget.”

Mother of god. That’s the ADD leading the blind. So I have my phone set to remind me.

Also, where do you buy a beard?

Then also too, yesterday morning I had a 7:30 chiropractor appointment, which threw me off as well, and I understand that some people are scientists who also juggle four kids, not literally. I know it’s ridiculous that this throws me so hard.

But anyway I got a text from my trainer yesterday, I think I told you this, asking me if I wanted to meet her at a boxing class after work. So I had to remember to get workout clothes at lunch and take them back to work with me, then remember to go to the class. I managed to do both of those, too!

The boxing class was fun. They have to wrap your hands in this tape, and they told me to go over to the shelf and pick my color, just like at the manicure place. You’d think I was picking out a condo, so choosy was I. Finally I settled on turquoise, and then once I got to my punching bag I saw a woman wrapped in pink and I was all SON OF A BITCH. THERE WAS PINK?

Anyway, allegedly you burn 600 calories per class, and here is the difference between my trainer in a boxing class and me in a boxing class.

Anyway, I managed to remember to drive home, too, and I’m batting whatever number it is when you bat well. 40? Am I batting 40?

I have to tell you I have this really good bread that has a lotta holes, so it’s really light and crispy when you toast it, and after I remembered to park the car and unlock my front door and walk in, I melted some cheese on it (the bread, not my front door) and it was the best goddamn thing I ever ate in my life. So maybe I really did burn many calories.

Then 12 hours later? I was back at the trainer. Madre de Dios. She seemed 100% unfazed by having just hit a bag for 45 minutes the evening before.

So that brings us to right now, and I have to start working so I have to go, but I assure you there are more things I’m supposed to be remembering that will shock me when they get here, like I’m probably throwing a dinner party for 20 people tonight and I’ll be all, Oh. Does everyone like bread with holes?

Hope I remember to hit “Publish,”
June

52 thoughts on “ADD it up

  1. I actually got diagnosed with ADD this year. I’m 50. It’s hard, man. I’ll hopefully be getting my ADD meds this month. I could’ve had the months ago but I literally forgot the appointment. That’s the problem. Better living through chemistry is what I say.

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  2. For the record, I have six kids and I have to live by my alarms on my phone in order to get people where they need to be. And anytime there’s a change in routine it throws me off. But sometimes there’s no change in routine and I still forget things, like meetings to attend or children to pick up. So you’re totally normal!

    I hope Miss Iris feels better soon and that it isn’t anything serious. Can’t wait to see more about the new foster and hear the story behind it!

    Oh! And try Party City for a beard. Or any other costume shop. Or any craft or sewing store would have faux fur things you could craft into a beard if needed. But I’m not crafty, so can’t tell you how to do that. Good luck! Eagerly awaiting pictures!!

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  3. You could’ve just glued pet hair on your face.

    Bris in a pickup!

    Hope Iris is well. One of my cats has had the suspected mystery IBS problem for years. He does well on steroids. Can’t afford any tests.

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  4. Poor, sweet Iris. I hope she gets better soon.
    I’ve tried to keep lists and stuff so many times over the years. Then I forget to check the lists. So now I keep it all in my head and I know it’s going to be a disaster at some point that I do that.

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  5. Girl, you are batting 400!! I am thoroughly impressed that your ADD self is accomplishing so much. But please continue your ADD style of non-blog writing. I love it. Before retiring I did keep paper lists of things to do. In my personal life, not so much. Since retiring I rarely keep lists. I never look at them so why. However now since brain surgery (and yes they did find one thank you very much) I promised I’d be good because I don’t dare screw this one up. Also my son seriously threatened to lock me up back on the hospital if I wasn’t good. So, darn, I can’t do much but sleep, take pills, eat, take pills,and maybe sleep some more. Oh, and then more pills. But, I was released from hospital on Thursday following brain tumor removal on Tuesday! So yea me! I am thinking of your sweet kitty and hoping for all the best. Carry on everyone.

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    • Arlene,
      How scary with the brain tumor. Glad you had a successful surgery. All the best with the pill-taking, eating, sleeping and, most of all, the healing.
      Sadie

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    • Arlene girl , best to you , good thoughts and vibes coming from here.
      Thank goodness they found a brain. Keep on keeping on my dear. Will wonders never cease, medical breakthroughs are never ending these days.

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    • Rest and get well soon. That surgery was quick and these days they seem to push you out the from the recovery room. Glad you are home and healing.
      Tee

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  6. Hoping for the best for Iris. My daughter is president of her chapter of June’s Pets Fan Club, and she cares about this, too, a lot. But I did giggle/snort at the vision conjured by your description of Lion Iris flinging her 15th Bud Light away and lining up at the litter box with her front paws on the wall. You are a raconteur without peer.

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  7. OMG, giving cats pills. I have to give two cats low dose steroids every third day. One like the hard, cheap pill pockets, the other like the expensive squishy kind. Then they switch preferences. Then one refuses and the other eats both. Then both refuse and their brother tries to eat both. Then I have to stick the pill in dried minnows. Then they catch on to the trick and *eat the fish but spit the pill out*—arrrrgh. Also, try remembering something every third day. I forget. A lot.

    I had a trainer that tried to make me box. I only wanted to punch him in the face.

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  8. There’s a place near me called ILoveKickboxing.com and yes, it’s a brick-and-mortar place so the name just kills me. Anyway, I’ve been considering giving it a shot because I figure it would be a great way to burn off some anger and stress. However, when I looked at their classes, it might be enough to kill me because they start off with intense cardio, with things like burpees and hell to the no on those!

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  9. I admire you. I am sorry about the ADD but it does make you get around and create an interesting life.
    Poor Iris. I am standing vigil.

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  10. Yeah. This gives me the anxi-eh-tee just from reading. Ugh.

    Can you set some reminders on your phone for some of this stuff?

    Here’s hoping it’s not cancer for pretty little Iris. Poor baby.

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  11. I think my husband has ADD, he is all over the place. Positive thoughts for Iris.
    We used to box as kids, my step dad would tell us to glove up if we were fighting with each other. Good times.

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  12. I really hope Iris is ok. Boxing sounds immensely fun. Maybe it’s a thing with long time no having children people.We get used to a nice and orderly and organized life. I too hate it when I have too much to do. Right now I think all I do is work, work out, take an immense amount of time to prep healthy food, play with the kitten and dog, and sleep. That is almost too much and I feel guilty and think I don’t spend enough time with the pets. Oh there is a boyfriend in there, but he is self sufficient. I have mentioned before that I am one of the I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF IT NOW people and it’s distracting. I am an obsessive calendar and note filler. But its so distracting that when I think of something I need to add to the calendar I have to go do that now too. I know it is never a good thing to start comparing your self to others, but I’m sure other people would feel, oh wow, you need to pick up stuff from Target. Oooh you go with your busy self.

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  13. If you’re batting 40, you’re better than any other batter in the history of batting, so I think that should be your takeaway from all of this.

    I’m sorry about Iris. I hope it’s something fixable.

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  14. The boxing class sounds awesome! I have to be truthful and say I’d imagine people, so many people, as the punching bag. I couldn’t believe you didn’t pick pink first and then… I feel that way at the pedicure place. I take forever to pick, then as I’m leaving I see someone else getting their toes painted and where was that color before? dammit.

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  15. Two of my six kids have ADD. That translates to lots of their crap being left all over the house and I need to remember where they put their stuff in addition to where I put my stuff, or remember what they need to do in addition to what I need to do. It is exhausting. Twice in the last week my texts to various kids did not arrive at their phones, but my phone said it was sent. I cannot afford my messages to kids to get lost. Life is already confusing and chaotic trying to keep up with everything and then to have a phone play games with me and fake deliver messages.

    I hope Iris is OK. I too want photos of twin day. Twin day makes me want to work outside the home, but then I remember working outside the home. My workplaces were never ‘twin-day’ fun and there were stuffy, unfriendly people at those places. Yuck. I will live vicariously thru your twin day and the day the co-worker practically took off your shirt to kill the bee/wasp thing. That was a hoot.

    I workout every day, but I do not zumba and I do not box. I fear I will look silly at both. At least with boxing, I could probably feel less frustrated.

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    • I tried Zumba one time and I could NOT follow the steps at all. I was completely lost and pretty much just flailed around on my own at the back of the class. However, I have never sweated so much in my entire life. I was absolutely drenched and dying when the class was over.

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      • I tried to take a step aerobic class back in the day and stayed in the back because I knew I would struggle with keeping up with the moves, and the instructor called me out in the middle of it. I was so embarrassed I never tried it again. Some people are truly ass hats. I was in my early 20s then. So much for working out. HA

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  16. Prayers that sweet, beautiful Iris will be okay. She looks wonderful in the picture you posted. I lead a boring life; thus, no lists needed. I do keep a little pink calendar, but I don’t write in it much. I think I just like the idea of it.

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  17. I’ve always been a very list-oriented, organized person. Until I started taking a medication that makes your brain foggy. After four months of this, all I can say is I need to trim Paco’s toenails before we take him to the vet this morning and crap why am I holding this bottle of oregano. Also, I forgot to wear shoes to my workout yesterday. So I get you, I really get you.

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  18. I am ridiculous with the number of reminders on my calendar and then setting alarms on my phone to prepare for the reminders. You’re doing a great job of remembering everything, but is it tiring? My son was recently diagnosed and sometimes I tell him he’s doing a good job of managing it and he says “yes and I’m exhausted!”

    What kind of bread had holes? I eat like a picky 4 year old but your description makes me want to try it!

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  19. I hope only the best for beautiful Iris. Sending best wishes.

    June, I feel your pain, as the ADD can really take a toll. I have sympathy/empathy. I only found out about my ADD the week of my 49th birthday. My friends? “Oh yeah, we totally knew you had the ADD.” Well, how come no one spoke up? Arrrgh… that’s a lot of years of frustration, failure, and feeling lost. But, I try to not look back, though I have quite the self-help section in one bookcase. Gotta keep trying.

    I’ve been doing lists since forever, and now my memory just sucks all the time. To get up in the morning (or whenever) I have two clock radios, one on each side of the bed, set to two different stations. It works. I’m diligent about using a paper calendar, since I’m a visual person. Whiteboards. Notebooks to take notes at meetings, etc. Park in the same spot if I have to go to a big parking lot place. I seem to do routines more outside the house than inside.

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  20. You don’t even want to see my calendar or know about the reminders sent to my phone. I have to write down everything. It’s a sickness and I can’t blame age.

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  21. June. I am choking laughing. It sounds so stressful, but it makes the most hilarious post! And I absolutely have to find that bread and toast it… with cheese!

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  22. I am so sorry that sweet Iris is sick. That one thing is enough to put your brain in overload. I understand completely the ADD when trying to function outside my routine. It’s very frustrating. I have lists, so far no sublists, I have my phone calendar and a paper calendar and we still manage to miss haircut appointments.

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  23. Oh, oh, I could feel your level of anxiety in your post. But it seems you handled everything that was thrown at you! I’m long past trying to remember without writing it down and taking it with me!! Even THEN I forget something. Geesh…Am so sorry about sweet Iris. It’s so hard when our pets are sick. And I know that is a tough one for you. Hang in there.

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  24. I have to write lists and write everything on my desk calendar because I’m ancient and still use a desk calendar. Then I have to remember to both look at my calendar and take my lists with me when I run errands.

    Good for you for keeping up with your crazy week. Maybe you can find a beard now that Halloween costumes might be in the stores. Are they?

    Hope you get good news at the vet.

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  25. I use Outlook for every damned thing in the world. (Maybe I, too, have a tetch of the ADD?)

    Every morning at 8:00 — “Email Mom.” (She lives alone and is 87; this is how I know she’s alive.)
    Every afternoon at 4:30pm – “Close out tasks.” So I remember to go home? Who even knows any more but I do stop, drop, and roll. Out the door.

    What I forgot? Was that I am being deposed today! for work! ACK! By a world famous (no, really) attorney. I had literally and completely forgot that.

    I am impressed by all the working out you are making time for, and doing. Go you!

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  26. Oh my goodness, a good toast is better than anything. I can’t keep good bread in the house. I buy mediocre bread.

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  27. Great post, I am glad you remembered to hit Publish. I have found the calendar on the phone is my best friend because straying from my normal routine throws me off as well. I hope Iris feels better soon.

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  28. I am tired just from reading that. OK, I was tired all ready/already (which is correct, editor lovely Joon, please?) but still…What a life you’re having ATM.

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    • That’s a lot to remember for non-ADD people. I’m sure you do not remember but after you were diagnosed I decided I wanted to be diagnosed. Yep, I’m in the club, too. Big difference taking the meds and not. Because I can’t tell a short story I mean to say that I’m really sorry the meds give you a migraine. As for Iris thank you for the update. Prayers to you both

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  29. I hope that Iris is okay. I also forget everything. Like I forgot to check my feet before I left for the dentist the other day and when I was walking in I glanced down to see two different flip flops down there. I had to mention it lest I look crazy.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  30. I do not have the ADD, but sometimes when life goes wonky, my lists have sublists. Sometimes I gotta move off paper and use a 2×4 white board. Then I take a picture of the giant list and sublists to take with me. I set alarms on my phone for everything. One day I had SIX alarms set throughout the day.
    All of that is to say, I feel ya’.

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  31. I’m to the point that I have to make lists and leave myself notes everywhere. I blame the cancer meds and not my age (ahem) 🙂

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    • Chemo fog is a real thing. And it lasts for a long time after the meds stop. Like years. I barely remember my time doing chemo (although that could be for the same reason I barely remember yesterday’s dinner). Speaking of dinner, I have a daily calendar event at 4:30 to figure out food for dinner.

      I also really really love the feature on Siri where you can tell her to remind you about something when you get to a particular place. “Remind me when I get home to check the freezer for burgers,” has saved me many times. I suppose I could tell it to remind me when I get to the grocery store of important groceries, but I keep a separate list for that (digitally because I forget paper too easily).

      My daughter has ADD and we had a big list taped at the back door to remind her about things like taking her pills before she leaves for school. I should probably put it back up (it got ripped down one time when she was angry with me)(that’ll show me!).

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    • You could just wear Iris on your chin. If you don’t get a beard. Photos please, of twin day. Should be hilarious.
      In your writing, ADD seems to be a good thing , so don’t give it up,take advantage of it , as you do.
      Boxing, good for you. And good FOR you.
      How about next time you wrap a hand in two colors. Or different colors on each hand.
      Your trainer sounds ideal for you.

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  32. I too am a very routine person. And in my dotage have found that I need to write every damn thing down if it is outside of said routine. I know it wasn’t always like this… at least I don’t think it was. I can’t remember. Thank god for my electronic calendar and reminders on my phone or they’d have to put up one of those Silver Alerts for me.

    Good for you with the boxing. I feel like I should do this, in case I ever had to really hit someone for real. I don’t know if it translates, but that’s my thought. My co-worker and I went outside one day to practice screaming after one of our “let’s pray no one wants to shoot us but if they do here’s the plan” drills at school. We realized we hadn’t screamed in like decades and weren’t sure we could still pull it off.

    Lovely post June!

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