Yesterday was still hectic AF. I don’t even know what’s been up lately with how busy everything is at work, but there you have it. In the afternoon, I had this large project to do that required I not get interrupted. In the past, I went down to our mostly empty “Garden Level” at work to hide, but after the bug attack of July 2019 I’ve been wary, so I last time went instead into an office down there that has a window into the rest of the room. I somehow figured a lit room would have fewer bugs.
Well, that was a failure. Because someone saw me poring over pages, completely immersed in concentration, and
jumped into the room to startle me. Yeah. That’s hilarious. I’ve just lost 30 minutes of checking one thing for consistency. Now I have to start over.
So I got permission to work at home in the afternoon yesterday. At lunch, I schlepped little Snowflake and her red-rimmed eyes to the shelter, asking them to check her out to make sure it was nothing serious. I said I’d come get her after work.
Then I screamed home, only to find my neighbor, my future in-law, one of the parents of Milhous’s girlfriend Sissy, animatedly running toward me as I got out the dang car.
“MISS JUNE! MISS JUNE!” the woman next door shouted.
Now what, I beleaguered.
“Milhous done got hisself a RAT!” she seemed very excited by this prospect. And there, off in the distance, I could see old rat mouth leaping the fence toward me.
“OH MY GOD IS IT DEAD?” I screeched, running toward the house. I heard no as I slammed the door.
Awhile later, I went to the back yard to make sure Willard hadn’t left me a rat carcass in the yard.
“We just seen Milhous with a doggone RAT,” the other neighbor over there said. I informed him that I’d been privy to this pressing news already.
And, oh my god, he was so proud of … hisself.
I really thought that’d be my big news of the day.
I worked like a demon all afternoon, spreading pages out on my floor while Edsel walked across them. I meant to leave at 5 for the kitten but time got away from me and I didn’t get in the car till about 5:20. And I know I’ve mentioned, oh, a time or two how horrendously located the shelter is. It’s all the way down our busiest street, and this was rush hour.
At one point, the light was green, and I started to go, but the car ahead of me stopped at the end of the next line of cars, and if I’d kept going I’d have been stuck in the intersection, so I put on my brakes to stay
I sat stunned for a moment. Oh my god! I’d been hit from behind! In my tiny car, by a big-ass SUV. And dear everyone who drives a huge vehicle: Fuck you.
I looked behind me and old behemoth car seemed fine. She was already on her phone. I called 911 and they told me not to move. It was this really busy street and this really busy time of day, so that made me nervous AF. “Do you need an ambulance?” she asked. My head hurt and so did my stomach, which scared the CRAP out of me.
“I guess so,” I said. I mean, what if I said no and started dying?
The police were there in no time, and the best part was when some ass in a, wait for it, giant SUV, drove by honking his horn and screaming at us. Sorry I can’t move my car that won’t start after being plowed into by a car 20 times bigger than mine. Oh, did I inconvenience you? Sorry.
Suddenly there was a fireman or something, some man in a vest, and I was so shaken I didn’t even notice if he was hot but come on. He probably was. He said my blood pressure was 151 over something.
Normally my blood pressure is 90 over 4 or something. I mean, they always talk about how low it is. Then I got REALLY scared. I remember my father telling me a story about this accident in his neighborhood, a kid he knew who was part of twins named Rob and Bob, and I can never get past the part where they were named Rob and Bob.
Anyway, Rob or Bob was walking around and talking after the accident and then they took him to the hospital just in case and an hour later he was dead.
Anyway, once the ambulance got there they determined the pain in my stomach was from the seat belt, which has left HUGE MARKS on my shoulder, where my sleeveless dress wasn’t, and on my neck. But I’m glad they’re there. They held me in. They also said the blood pressure was from anxiety.
Eventually they pushed my car to a nearby hotel parking lot and a tow truck came and may I just mention the woman who hit me spoke to me almost not at all? I asked if she was okay and she said yes and that she was on her way to donate clothes to foster children or something and I said I was on my way to pick up a foster kitten and OH MY GOD, SNOWFLAKE!
It was after 6:00, but someone picked up the phone at the shelter, anyway. They said she was fine, just a cold, and that I can get her today, which is impossible because I have no car
MY BRAND-NEW CAR
and I like how people are all, Is it totaled? How the hell would I know that yet? But I think probably not. The back is smushy and it won’t start, but that car is new.
Anyway, Ned said he’d go get the kitten for me at some point today, which is nice of him. He’s also going to get Iris’s meds for me, as you can practically see my vet’s from his house.
So that’s the story of my accident. My neck is stiff and my arms are sore AF and the worst part is my legs. Down under my calves but before my cankles are big bruises where I think my legs must have hit the seat.
Fortunately I have my work laptop here so I can work from home today, and I’d better start doing that.
Would you like to know what I like better than giant SUVs?
In a sparkling mood,