June gets rear-ended *And not in the good way*

Yesterday was still hectic AF. I don’t even know what’s been up lately with how busy everything is at work, but there you have it. In the afternoon, I had this large project to do that required I not get interrupted. In the past, I went down to our mostly empty “Garden Level” at work to hide, but after the bug attack of July 2019 I’ve been wary, so I last time went instead into an office down there that has a window into the rest of the room. I somehow figured a lit room would have fewer bugs.

Well, that was a failure. Because someone saw me poring over pages, completely immersed in concentration, and

AHHHH!

jumped into the room to startle me. Yeah. That’s hilarious. I’ve just lost 30 minutes of checking one thing for consistency. Now I have to start over.

So I got permission to work at home in the afternoon yesterday. At lunch, I schlepped little Snowflake and her red-rimmed eyes to the shelter, asking them to check her out to make sure it was nothing serious. I said I’d come get her after work.

Then I screamed home, only to find my neighbor, my future in-law, one of the parents of Milhous’s girlfriend Sissy, animatedly running toward me as I got out the dang car.

“MISS JUNE! MISS JUNE!” the woman next door shouted.

Now what, I beleaguered.

“Milhous done got hisself a RAT!” she seemed very excited by this prospect. And there, off in the distance, I could see old rat mouth leaping the fence toward me.

“OH MY GOD IS IT DEAD?” I screeched, running toward the house. I heard no as I slammed the door.

Awhile later, I went to the back yard to make sure Willard hadn’t left me a rat carcass in the yard.

“We just seen Milhous with a doggone RAT,” the other neighbor over there said. I informed him that I’d been privy to this pressing news already.

And, oh my god, he was so proud of … hisself.

I really thought that’d be my big news of the day.

I worked like a demon all afternoon, spreading pages out on my floor while Edsel walked across them. I meant to leave at 5 for the kitten but time got away from me and I didn’t get in the car till about 5:20. And I know I’ve mentioned, oh, a time or two how horrendously located the shelter is. It’s all the way down our busiest street, and this was rush hour.

At one point, the light was green, and I started to go, but the car ahead of me stopped at the end of the next line of cars, and if I’d kept going I’d have been stuck in the intersection, so I put on my brakes to stay

BAM!

I sat stunned for a moment. Oh my god! I’d been hit from behind! In my tiny car, by a big-ass SUV. And dear everyone who drives a huge vehicle: Fuck you.

I looked behind me and old behemoth car seemed fine. She was already on her phone. I called 911 and they told me not to move. It was this really busy street and this really busy time of day, so that made me nervous AF. “Do you need an ambulance?” she asked. My head hurt and so did my stomach, which scared the CRAP out of me.

“I guess so,” I said. I mean, what if I said no and started dying?

The police were there in no time, and the best part was when some ass in a, wait for it, giant SUV, drove by honking his horn and screaming at us. Sorry I can’t move my car that won’t start after being plowed into by a car 20 times bigger than mine. Oh, did I inconvenience you? Sorry.

Suddenly there was a fireman or something, some man in a vest, and I was so shaken I didn’t even notice if he was hot but come on. He probably was. He said my blood pressure was 151 over something.

Normally my blood pressure is 90 over 4 or something. I mean, they always talk about how low it is. Then I got REALLY scared. I remember my father telling me a story about this accident in his neighborhood, a kid he knew who was part of twins named Rob and Bob, and I can never get past the part where they were named Rob and Bob.

Anyway, Rob or Bob was walking around and talking after the accident and then they took him to the hospital just in case and an hour later he was dead.

Dead.

Morte.

Anyway, once the ambulance got there they determined the pain in my stomach was from the seat belt, which has left HUGE MARKS on my shoulder, where my sleeveless dress wasn’t, and on my neck. But I’m glad they’re there. They held me in. They also said the blood pressure was from anxiety.

Eventually they pushed my car to a nearby hotel parking lot and a tow truck came and may I just mention the woman who hit me spoke to me almost not at all? I asked if she was okay and she said yes and that she was on her way to donate clothes to foster children or something and I said I was on my way to pick up a foster kitten and OH MY GOD, SNOWFLAKE!

It was after 6:00, but someone picked up the phone at the shelter, anyway. They said she was fine, just a cold, and that I can get her today, which is impossible because I have no car

MY BRAND-NEW CAR

and I like how people are all, Is it totaled? How the hell would I know that yet? But I think probably not. The back is smushy and it won’t start, but that car is new.

Anyway, Ned said he’d go get the kitten for me at some point today, which is nice of him. He’s also going to get Iris’s meds for me, as you can practically see my vet’s from his house.

So that’s the story of my accident. My neck is stiff and my arms are sore AF and the worst part is my legs. Down under my calves but before my cankles are big bruises where I think my legs must have hit the seat.

Fortunately I have my work laptop here so I can work from home today, and I’d better start doing that.

Would you like to know what I like better than giant SUVs?

Advice.

Okay, then.

In a sparkling mood,
June

97 thoughts on “June gets rear-ended *And not in the good way*

  1. I have been thinking about this accident . I hope the head hurt helps your migraine problem.
    I have always wondered if the fall from the 2nd floor had affected it in the first place.

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  2. Oh wow. That sucks. A crap day all around. You’re probably gonna feel that hit for at least a week or so. Take it easy, keep your legs elevated (no not that way…kidding!) take some Tylenol and work from home if you feel like it.
    I feel so bad for you…your new car has a big boo boo. Hopefully there isn’t too much damage, but if you are as bruised as you say, it had to have been one helluva jolt.
    He may not be a good boyfriend, but Ned sure sounds like a good friend. If I lived near you. I would help you out too. Hang in there. 🙂

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  3. Oh man! That’s so scary! I would have been shaken up big time. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m glad you’re ok and I hope you are 100% soon.

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  4. June, I’m so sorry this happened to you. What a hassle! I’m sorry you have to spend time dealing with the aftermath of your squished blueberry car. And I’m sorry the lady wasn’t nice to you. Here’s hoping tomorrow is a brighter day.

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  5. Dear June, I’m so glad that you are OK, so sorry about the scary experience, bruises and pains though. Your car insurance will give you a rental while your baby is in the repair shop. That was so very nice of Ned to help with kitten duty and cat meds. Take care😻😻😻

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  6. What a shitty day. I can’t believe you’re working today, even from home. I also can’t believe… and don’t mean to bash anyone here, but can’t believe that so many feel the need to share THEIR horrific stories. Maybe it’s because women often like sharing a similar experience is helpful or bonding or something. I guess I do it too, sometimes. Anyway, hope you are not in too much pain, hope things get resolved well with the car, and hope the little flake feels better soon, too.

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  7. I’m so sorry, June. What a spectacularly shitty day. I hope you’re not in awful pain for long and that the soreness is temporary with no permanent damage. Sad face emoji.

    I’m an SUV driver, but it’s a normal size and not an Army tank sized one. I feel safer in it driving in Atlanta’s horrible traffic where so many people seem to drive a tank or a truck big enough to drive over a small house.

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  8. Shortly after I had my firstborn, I was driving my soccer mom minivan down PCH in Huntington Beach. It was a busy Sunday and traffic came to a sudden stop. I had enough time to stop but I heard tires screeching and thought to myself, “Somebody is about to get hi…” and then BAM! I was hit from behind so hard that my sunglasses flew off my face and the ashtray, filled with change, flew out and hit the back window, shattering it. I was afraid of getting hit again so I instinctively pulled to side of the road and got out of the van with my purse ( my son was not with me, thank God) and went to sit on the curb. The driver who hit me, a youngish man, ran up and asked if I was okay. While we were sitting on the curb waiting for the cops, he held my hand because I couldn’t stop shaking and kept telling me everything would be alright. I didn’t get a lawyer and sue because his insurance company was a pleasure to work with. They paid all of my medical bills, had my vehicle repaired (I’m surprised they didn’t total it out, it had that much damage), paid for a rental car plus I got enough of a settlement to remodel my kitchen. At the time, I was working for an electrician and his wife was a doctor so I got really great care and I never saw a bill.

    Also, there’s a reason I drive an SUV. I don’t feel safe in little cars plus I can’t see around the cars in front of me in a small car. I like having visibility. I still don’t trust people to stop behind me so having an SUV makes me feel a little safer.

    The worst thing about getting rear-ended is that feeling that you will get hit every time you come to a stop. It’s been years since I was in that accident and I still tense up when I see someone coming up a little too fast behind me because I’m just waiting for impact.

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  9. We have an enormous 15 passenger van for our daughter’s wheelchair. We rarely drive it unless she’s along. Our other girls call it The Big Assed Van.
    We’ve had different Big Assed Vans. Name remains the same. We don’t call it that around the congregation.

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  10. And I’m still pissed at that jerk who jumped in and scared you. Not funny, dude.
    Sounds like you’ve not a great neighborhood watch going there.

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  11. All I want to do it bring you the beverage of your choice and sit down and let you rant and bitch. I’m so sorry. What a crap day.

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  12. Glad you are walking and talking. My ex was rear ended,. Bad vertigo. Personality changes. And after 35 years of marriage we got divorced. So, thankful you are ok.

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  13. Aww Joony – I hope you feel better soon. I have had a few of those rear enders… ugly stuff. A lot of anxiety – and aggravation. But take care of your body. The last one I had was in NC – tore my rotator cuff so had to have surgery… and a new car – and a lawyer. 2 years to settle for peanuts – good grief. Some are easier than others. Just get your body well…. Hugs to you!

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  14. Asshole’s insurance co should pay for your repairs, a rental car & any doc bills. Mr. Munroe was rear ended years ago by a sweet little old lady who mistook her gas pedal for the brake. She admitted to the police officer that is was completely her fault, but her ins co still tried to dick us around on a settlement because Mr. Munroe’s car was totaled. Mr. M got sick of their BS & went after them for pain & suffering, as well as the regular settlement stuff. He got it.
    Don’t let the fekking insurance co get away with any BS!

    Liked by 4 people

  15. I know how you feel, i have been rear ended on a motorcycle then someone smacked into the side of our motorcycle. We no longer ride motorcycles. Ice will be your friend and they should cover a rental for you. Happy healing.

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  16. I came home late one night and discovered the family cat playing with a mouse. I freaked out and started yelling at the cat to stop. My mother heard me yelling and came to the door wielding a small baseball bat. The minute I told her what was happening she shut the door and left me outside with the mouse. That was bad, but it got worse when I heard the lock click!!

    Sorry about your car. Hope you feel better.

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  17. It’s so awful that the best part of your day was a live rat. A few years ago, I got hit twice in one week. I still drive that car and use that neck. Hope you have good pain pills and friends who bring you food.

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  18. This is not advice, just my own experience. I have been rear ended multiple times. The first was by a private ambulance, the second was in McDonald’s drive-thru by an idiot on a conference call and adjusting his radio. My neck and shoulder are permenantly f’d up, I have some degree of pain most days. The McD’s dude was a jerk off, yelling at ME. I deeply regret not suing his ass. If Michael were not sick…He was going on and on about his personal problems. The cop didn’t want to write up a tepory but I made the laxy fucker do it, told him I had a legal right to it. My car did have damage underneath that none of us could see. He was clearly at fault anf his insurance company was kissing my asd. NJ is a no fault state, I just looked it up and NC is an at fault state. His insurance company should cover you for a rental while your car is in the shop. My husband worked in many body shops , they are often hooked up with car rental companies. I would seek medical attention, demand a rental and hire an attorney. I wish I had. They did pay to fix my car and offered me $1,500.00 for medical expenses.

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  19. Well son of a gun. It’s bad enough to get rear-ended (not in a good way) but get rear-ended in your brand-freaking-new car!! I have all the sympathies for you June – I hope your bruises and pains are slight and go away quickly.

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    • Exactly! I just got a new (to me) car, and I can’t even imagine how frustratingly awful it must be to have something like that happen to your new car through no fault of your own (it’s stressful enough when it happens on an old car!). I’m glad that Ned will get the kitten and Iris’ meds for you. I hope the animals are giving you extra snuggles.

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  20. What a day. I won’t bother to complain about my day, as there was neither a rat, nor a car accident, involved. Take care of yourself!

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  21. Glad you and Snowflake are okay. You can be like the asshole I TAPPED in stop-and-go traffic. No mark on her car, but she took me to court because she was in “such pain” and was unable to work as a Lyft driver. She got up in front of the judge and lied her ass off. The sad thing? She won and my insurance doubled.

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  22. How awful, you’re missing Crazy Sock Spirit Day at the workplace!

    Waves of sympathy, and may all the posts here (so well expressed) have healing powers.

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  23. I am glad you’re ok. I was in a similar accident many years ago and missed a week of work from the horrible whiplash. Hurts like a mo’fo’. I am just glad you’re ok. Xoxo

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  24. A rat would totally been enough for a day’s interesting events. I hope you feel better soon and that something can be done about your car. And that insurance pays. I got shystered out of an insurance payment when we lived in New Jersey. I still seethe about that.

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  25. I’m so glad that you weren’t seriously hurt, and sad about your car. Thank goodness you weren’t pushed into the vehicle in front of you! I hope you’re not too achy in the days to come, and that your car situation is “straightened out” as seamlessly as possible!

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  26. You were wearing a seat belt and got that hurt, holy cow! And you couldn’t even enjoy the firemen! I’m so glad you weren’t hurt worse but I hate that you are hurt at all.

    I feel your SUV rage – I seethe on your behalf. I drive a Mini Cooper. I live in Texas, where 95% of the population drives either a bigass SUV or an even biggerass pickup truck. And at least 75% of them are assholes who like to tailgate and/or try to intimidate smaller cars so yeah, just about every drive ends in road rage on my end.

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    • I drive a mid-size SUV specifically because of the “biggerass pickup trucks”. I feel invisible in a tiny car. Ahh, it’s such a joy to share the roads here in the great state of Texas.

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  27. Sorry to hear about the car accident, and hope your bruises fade in a nice, colorful way.

    I’ve always driven normal, regular, ordinary, 4-door cars. My 16-year old Camry (that I loved, and had planned to keep driving forever) was sideswiped by a semi on a bitchy cold day on my way to meeting a friend for breakfast. Ooh, was I mad, and really needed coffee after that.

    Because of it’s advanced age, my insurance company wouldn’t just give me the money for repairs. No, it had to be totaled or turned back in. Well, I don’t have a fleet of cars to pick from, nor do any of my friends just have spares to loan out. Yeah, how was I supposed to get to work in the ‘burbs with no car? In the end I gave it to a friend whose car had just died like the week before, and got myself a new, regular, ordinary, 4-door car again. At least it has a sunroof and heated seats!

    Minnesota just had the “no driving while holding a cell phone” law go into effect. I have no sympathy for anyone that gets caught and has to pay up. Those folks just suck!

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  28. Oh no! I’m not sure what fits better, Clusterfuck or FUBAR. Glad you’re alive and not in the hospital. Accidents always suck.

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  29. No advice June. Just sympathy. I know your pain. I got battered by an airbag in an accident and I am convinced hitting the steering wheel would have been less painful.

    I love that your whole neighborhood knows Millhous. But they rat could have stayed out of that story.

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  30. Years ago my daughter came down to Austin to get a ‘free’ puppy. She was rear-ended by a semi and pushed into oncoming traffic. She still has anxiety driving near big trucks. Glad you (and she!) are okay. Hope your cute car recovers, too.

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  31. I like how you have to tell us it was nice of Ned to go get snowflake. Just in case there were disparaging comments. It is nice of him to step in. I hope you start feeling better soon.

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  32. The day after is when all the soreness pops up and that sucks. What a week! Hope Blue and foster kitty are back to you soon (but not the rat).

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  33. I’m so sorry you and your car were hit by the monster SUV and that you will be bruised and sore. Thankfully, it sounds like no bones were broken and, hopefully, no concussion. If you need a Whiplashes-R-Us attorney, Just Paula may be able to make a few calls. You know, a friend of a friend. Or maybe that’s just to find someone with a crowbar for a certain SUV.

    Did I say that?

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  34. I’m so sorry. You’re probably sore and out of sorts and this sucks. And I thought the rat was a big deal!

    I don’t think people say “I’m sorry” any more for legal reasons. It’s like admitting fault and heaven knows we all walk around prepared to sue or be sued. It’s sad.

    I’m glad it is only a cold for Mil. Hoping for good news on your car. Maybe this gets you the pink one.

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  35. Ugh! So sorry and so thankful you walked away. Quick healing vibes for you, your car, and Snowflake. Maybe a Price Is Right break would be nice, soothing balm for your frazzled nerves, since you’re home and all.

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  36. Big SUV driver here! I’m so sorry for not only the accident but for the woman’s reaction!! I have a good friend whose family was in an awful accident due to someone running a red light. She’s now had to have two knee replacement surgeries due to her own injuries and suffered terrible anxiety. The kicker? The woman claimed it was her fault but then went back on it. Lawsuit for medical bills, etc. It has been years now for this poor friend and her family!! Even worse – the woman responsible runs a children ministry at our most popular Christian preschool. It’s nauseating.

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    • I drive an SUV too. Not the biggest but…I got tired of never being able to see anything over the other SUVs and the interior of my Hyundai Sante Fe fit my generous hips and self like goldilocks when I bought it in 2008. I’m less zoftig now but I still hate small cars .

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  37. So sorry- hope you recover quickly. I hate big old SUVs. I drive a small one and that is big enough. Why does someone need on the size of a tank?

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  38. I’m so sorry – what a horrible day! I hope the aches and pains don’t last long and that the woman who hit you has insurance!

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  39. Your story about Rob and Bob reminded me of some fraternal twins I knew in middle school. They were named Russell and Dustin, but we called them Rusty and Dusty. As it turns out, Rusty had red hair and Dusty had blonde hair. I always found myself thinking, “What if their parents had reversed their names at birth? Could you see the color of their hair when they were born?” … it’s one of those things I will never have an answer for.

    I hope that all turns out ok with the car and that you aren’t in pain for too long. The whole situation sucks.

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  40. What a day! I laughed reading how you slammed your front door when you saw rat hunting Milhous headed your way. Your accident is no laughing matter and I hope you and your adorable car are ok.

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  41. Joon, I’m so sorry this happened to you and hope that all bruises and smushes are healed soon. Yay for Rat Cat!

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  42. I received an email from my boss a few days ago and all it said was: “IS THERE A FUCKING FULL MOON?!?” So. I think that must be what’s happening. Glad you’re okay and so sorry about your car!!

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  43. I’m so sorry that happened. The LEAST that woman could have done was to say “I’m sorry” and walked over to get you a Coke. That’s usually my answer for everything.

    Sending positive vibes for a MUCH better day. And I’m agreeing with Angie P. – nice to see Ned is good for something.

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  44. She must have hit you hard! The day after the day after is when you will really start to feel the aches and pains so take care of yourself for the next few days… sorry about your car. *sadface*

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  45. I have no advice for you. You’re welcome.

    Glad you’re relatively ok (I mean I am VERY glad you’re alive and have no serious injuries, but I know how the soreness and aftermath issues can be, so don’t want to downplay that). Hope you can rest and heal quickly and completely.

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  46. Once my whole family was in the van and as we went through an intersection a woman made an ill-advised left turn and smacked right into the side of the van.
    We got out and looked at our respective cars, doing that thing you do in an accident, where you just stare dumbly at the damage, like it’s going to tell you what to do. After we all got moved to the nearby Chili’s parking lot, the woman was stomping around, yelling into her phone about what happened, and periodically wailing, “my CARRRRRRR!”
    At some point I felt sorry for the dewy, stupid young lady, and I said, “it’s all going to be okay. This is what insurance is for.”
    She turned and snarled at me, “I LOVE MY CAR.”
    Well. I’m fond of my family, including the eight-year-old whose watched you come out of nowhere and smack the hell into us. You know, the one who was hyperventilating?
    To sum up: I’m so sorry. Car accidents are awful, and people are terrible.

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  47. Yikes! Poor June and poor little car. I have a small car and I swear big cars try to run me over since I dont go tearing down the street. I guess Ned is good for something.

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  48. What a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day! I am so sorry.

    I must admit, I laughed and shook my head knowingly when you quoted your neighbors regarding the rat. Sounds just like my family talkin’!

    Hope you feel better quickly, and that Baby Blue’s damage is not significant.

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  49. OH NO!!! Your baby blue car. I am so sorry, but I’m more sorry you are banged up and brushed. I’m so glad you weren’t hurt any worse than you are. Okay, here comes the advice, just try to relax as much today as possible.

    Milhouse was only doing his job. I hope he finally killed that dogone rat.
    Tee

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  50. Oh PUH LEEZE. Like that whore in the giant SUV was *really* donating clothes. If she’d been thinking on her feet, she’d’ve pulled out a cooler with an organ in it and claimed she was donating that. She was just saying that to garner sympathy. AND why the hell wasn’t she paying attention? Was she TEXTING? HMMMMM?? You can imagine how delightful I am in a fender bender, when it’s my bender that’s been bent.

    Why won’t your car start? I’m puzzled. Oooohhhh, is your engine in the back?

    I’m very sorry about your injuries and pain and I won’t say something like my mother would now (but at least you’re allllliiivvvve and should be grateful; a car can be replaced…, bleh).

    Ok. In the interest of full disclosure, while I don’t usually drive a giant SUV (I drive a big old four-door practically from the last century), HH has a cross-over that might be considered a reasonably-sized SUV that I occasionally drive. It’s still mostly a car, though. But we also have a giant SUV and while my son usually drives it, I get stuck with it for about two hours a year. I am reeeeeaaaalllly careful when I drive it because (a) I’m not that used to it, (b) I feel like I’m in a monster truck and can just roll over people, and (c) there is a preconceived notion that all Giant SUV drivers are obnoxious assholes, with which I tend to agree. No offense.

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    • Paula, we have an SUV, but I do NOT follow the vehicle in front of me closely, I’m saying I’m not a tailgater and when I do stop I always leave enough links between the vehicle in front of me that I can see their bumper and their tires, this is a defensive driving tactic on my part in the event some idiot rear-ends me I don’t want to rear-end someone else. This is the prime reason I much prefer to drive my little Corolla then our SUV.

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        • I feel like I’m driving a damn school bus when I drive the bigger SUV. I have to climb up into it, it’s bouncy, I can’t reach anything….ugh. But as I said, I only drive it about two hours a year, so maybe I’m just not used to it.

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    • We got rear ended once on the expressway and the engine instantly stopped. Would not restart. Some safety feature that kicks in in case the gas tank was ruptured is what we were told.

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  51. oof.

    What. A. Day.

    I hope today is better. At least, that there are no unwanted animals brought to your doorstep, and that no one bumps into you.

    (and that your car is not totaled, and that your blood pressure regulated to its normal just-above-death rate)

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