June actually looks at her computer. Also, 50385204822 kitten photos.

Here has been my life since my August 21 auto accident NOW WITH CONCUSSION:

I took a whole buncha pictures of my feet at every single doctor and chiropractor appointment I’ve had these last weeks. Today, after I saw the doctor again and could finally turn my computer back on and upload all those iPhone photos, I see several of the photos are gone. Which, why? My concussion won’t tell me.

It really sucks, because some of the I’m-lying-on-that-moving-table-at-chiropractors had some very cute shoes in them. (The last pair you see above are from Roxy.)

No one cares that my feet are missing other than me. But I was so looking forward to dramatic shot after shot of my feet at some doctor. Much like my old series of Ned looking at menus.

I was also looking forward to the doctor saying, “ALL CLEAR!” today and me getting back online, running through my apps like George Bailey at the end of It’s a Wonderful Life. Instead of, “Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building & Loan!” I’d be all, “HELLO, INSTAGRAM! WELCOME BACK TO MY EYEBALLS, FACEBOOK!”

However, when I went to the doctor this afternoon, for a change, it turns out my screen time is still limited. I can be on 4 hours a day for now. Starting tomorrow I can return to work for 4 hours a day (which will count as my “screen time”), see what that’s like, then return to the doctor after work Wednesday to see how I did. If I did okay, I can go back full time, and also back to my internet addiction full force.

That means I will also be allowed to return to my trainer, a thing I look forward to because I have to weigh in every time I go to the doctor and if they’re making a Hee-Haw movie, I can surely play the part of Lulu right now.

I hope we can all take a moment to enjoy my current reference.

As you know, because I’ve mentioned it four hundred sixty-eight times, my computer screen time was restricted, as was TV viewing, reading, movies and physical activity. This means I officially became a housecat these last weeks. All my photos that survived are of, in fact, housecats, and I suppose also Edsel who is officially a dog, but also kind of a cat.

Special guest star: Sissy.

Here’s my problem. I just have the one. But here it is:

I

LOVE

HER.

I mean, I love all my fosters. But oh my god I extra special love her. It’s partly that I’ve been with her almost every second since August 21. It’s also that she’s really smart, and does all sorts of cute smart-cat things like look up at me while she runs to her dish to eat LIKE A JACKAL.

But also she’s so beautiful.

I can’t keep her. I can’t have four fekking cats. So my question to you is, which one do I return so I can have her instead?

The other thing I figured out I could do, other than stare at cats, was shop. I shopped too much. But it was literally my only entertainment.

I went to the garden store:

I also went to Belk and bought nothing. Sephora, nothing. Ulta, nothing. DSW, nothing. I shopped in stores I never go in, like the luggage store and Lane Bryant. I’ve never been in Lane Bryant in my life.

I visited Target and PetSmart. I went to various grocery stores.

There were photos of these excursions, but see above re mysterious concussion-y deletion of photos.

The only thing I did buy was a Denman brush at Sally Beauty Supply (it’s a Curly Girl thing) and this cat condo I’ve had my eye on for years. YEARS! It’s from the local pet supply store, the one where Talu and Edsel knocked down that display that one time.

Anyway, here it is.

It literally cost 14 million dollars and no one has used it yet other then when I place them on it and say, ENJOY THE FUCKING CONDO. Nothing’s more relaxing than your concussed mom screaming at you. Nothing makes you want to lounge on furniture more than being placed on it pointedly.

It’s cool, though, right? It’s what Astro from The Jetsons would have sat on had he been a cat.

Anyway, that sums me up at the moment, and I realize I am 100% not interesting right now because am housecat with no life.

Talk to you soon. Oh! I also looked at my photos. Here’s what I found:

A, that’s the grandmother I’ve turned into with B, me and my hurr. Why did all grandmothers have that lamp with the round table around it, and where can I score one currently?

I gotta go walk through my saloon doors now and into the kitchen for some odd pink wafer cookies.

XO,
June

72 thoughts on “June actually looks at her computer. Also, 50385204822 kitten photos.

  1. Lovely post, Coot.
    So glad to see you are back.

    Can we discuss Denman? I got one. I used it. I did not see the clumping everyone has raved about. I have watched 10 million videos from Curly Susoe to what’s her face with fekking perfect curls. Also do you diffuse?

    Concussion brain can last for months and it sucks. I hope yours is short lived.

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  2. Yay! It sounds like you’re mending! Also sounds like you’ve tote bonded with white kitten. She’s a special spitfire in the pics. From photo one, day one! I hope you find a way for everything to work for the best for you two.

    Some cats just claim us & there’s no arguing.
    *shrugs* Cats man. When they’re fabulous they’re fabulous.

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  3. I want the tennis shoes in the last foot photo . Cool look with the jeans.
    Little bitty glowie kitty is precious.
    Glad you are on the mend.

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  4. Hi, June!
    #.Glad to hear your health is improving. Yay!
    7. I can see why Milhouse likes Sissy. She’s a beauty.
    %. Snowflake is adorable! Squee! I think you should keep her.
    Z. I remember Lulu on Hee Haw. You don’t look anything remotely like her.

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  5. Not to be a total stalker but I have those same blue & white geometric squares pants and are they not the most comfortable pants ever? Really happy to hear you are improving.

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  6. Glad you are improving and hope you are soon well enough for your life to return to normal. Have any of the cats embraced their new condo or do they still prefer climbing on your chair?

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  7. Welcome back! Love the glowing kitten pic, but also love all the pics of the animals. So glad you’re gradually recovering from your concussion and can get back to online activity as usual.

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  8. I hate when I show up late to the comment party. 1. Keep snowflake – that photo of her curled up with Edsel is downright darling. 2. I remember Hee Haw, but only bits. I am mad I co not remember LuLu and therefore do not get the reference. 3. Before I saw the explanation of the cat condo, I was like ‘Oh, shit. Why are they not ON IT?’ They better get their little butts up there soon. 4. you are SO right about the lamp with built in table in all grandparent homes back in the 70s. Why? Also why did they all have furniture that was part wood/part upholstery – so dang uncomfortable.

    Hope you get the all clear soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You have a shared custody situation with the neighbor which takes you down to a half time cat. This little one is also tiny so again, cat mass is deducted.

    It’s hardly even a lot of cats at that point.

    I hope you get the all clear Wednesday. The internet is my oxygen. I admire your stoic resistance. I’d have used my last cognizant brain cell on Pinterest.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi June, I’m glad you feeling better and the photos are adorable. My answer to the kitten quandary is…. 1. Edsel seems to claimed the kitten as his comfort cat. 2. Your boy cat is living next store half the time soooo you really only have one dog and 2 and 1/2 cats.

    I think you are OK if you decide to keep the baby. I had two cats to begin with. A 11 year old Maine Coon and a 2 month old kitten that someone dropped off on the edge of the country property where I live. Then four months later my daughter brought me 2 tiny female kittens that someone abandoned in a bushort at the grocery store. The three youngest cats think they are siblings; the Maine Coon is amused by their hijinks. I love them.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. So glad you are better, June. I really enjoyed all the pictures. You really do look like your grandmother. I also vote for you keeping Snowflake. She’s a cutie!

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  12. Dear Future June, (Since you cannot read this now because you’re over your limit)

    I am soooooo happy you are almost better and coming back to us! You’ve been missed.

    Also too? Anyone looking at Baby June would have known what the hair situation would be in the future. You had yourself The Hair from the beginning. What a dumpling you were!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Glad you’re recovering well! That kitten is so beautiful! I assume you’ll read these comments in a few days and that you might be on the fence about that foster still. So I just want to point out that there’s nothing weird about having five cats as opposed to four cats. The boundaries are when you move from two to three cats to become a committed cat lady, and when you move into the double digits to become a “crazy” cat lady. But five well-loved and cared for cats are just part of a lovely home.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Once you go past 2 cats? It’s not an issue anymore. I’ve had 5, my Mom had 7… I currently have 3 (as my 4th, Eros went to the Rainbow Bridge 2 weeks ago) plus 2 large dogs (a Husky & a Malamute).

      As long as you can feed, house, & take them all to the vet as needed… however many that is? That is how many cats you need to have.

      I keep telling my husband that we have 8 cats, maybe more & 2 dogs. The other 5+ cats just haven’t found their way home yet. This way, if additional cats ‘appear’ in our house? I can just pretend like he’s crazy & that we have always had them…

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Glad you are back (4 hours a day) Love the cat thingy. What kind of wood is it? I am assuming there is a seam/joint holding it together. Any idea what kind? (Asking for a friend that might want to try and make something like this)

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  15. I have a cat that looked like that when he was little. He turned into an enormous fur factory. Much as I love him, he’s changed my opinion on sphinx cats. There are tumbleweeds of white hair in summer.

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  16. I see everyone is giving advice to keep the pretty white kitten. You didn’t say why you couldn’t have 4 cats. Crazy? Finances? Space?

    I thought ned was going to take her? You could at least having visiting rights then. You could draw up a plan on who gets weekends, holidays and summers.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Love all the family pictures, especially Light-Up Kitty and Baby June with her poochy cheeks and dark serious eyes. And tiny fingers in youthful grandmother’s hand. Hope you’ve eased back mostly into regular life by the time you read this.

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  18. KEEP HER. Not keeping her is poison to you Jooooon. I personally feel the crazy, too many cats line is crossed at 7. You still have 3 to spare!

    Welcome back. Things have been quiet around here.

    Also and too? I have a very part time job looking after an 87 year old woman with Alzheimer’s. I have been with her for almost 8 years and I do not want to leave her. I work with her a lot over my summer and winter breaks and a few times a week during the school year. She has not one, but TWO of those lamps. She also has one that has a bucket ? bowl ? where the table would be. It looks like a fancy lamp with ice bucket around the lamp pole.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I had four cats and a dog – two were cute tabby look-alikes but one was a kitty and one was an adult. Then the kitty grew up and I never really knew which cat I was petting. I’d tell you we did the same thing with our black and white cats but you’d think I was weird so I’m not telling you. Keep the white one – at least you can tell her apart, right?

    Really happy that you are getting better. Oh also it looks like your grandma is holding a baby doll.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. The post where Edsel and Talu knock over that display is one of my favorites. I’m giggling like an idiot right now after having stampeded there to read it again. Glad you’re on the mend!
    I vote for four kitties. It’s really no different than having two dogs and three cats…the maths is still the same!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. It’s so good to see you back! Just don’t over do the screen time. You can see through Snowflake in the photo of her stretched between the chair and table! I LOVE it. At one time I was feeding nine cats. Only one was mine, but shortly after that I took a little female that I think was abandon, she brought us her two kittens, so my one turned into four, very quickly. Then I was still feeding a stray that I couldn’t catch (Eric Rudolph, ER for short) and the neighbor’s four that loved my food. So four is a good number. This is a prime example of why I would never make a good foster person. I would keep them all and I would surely be an old, cat lady.

    I think all floors in the doctor’s office look the same.

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  22. I’m so excited to see kitten pictures & cat pictures & Edsel. And of course, I like your shoes!!
    That was a fun trip down memory lane. I remember that post about the harness and leash adventure. Laughing again over it all!
    Lovely post, Coot!

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  23. So glad you’re back among the living, if even temporarily. It’s good to ‘hear’ your voice! The critter pics are always favorites of mine, so this was a very good post for moi. Snowflake is so precious, and the photo of her snuggled up to Edz is absolutely perfect. Keep mending and healing and pacing yourself, please. You and your wonderful writing have been missed!

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  24. When you step through my front door, go to the third doorway and turn right. You will see my husband’s mother’s lamp-table in all its brass and glass glory. It’s yours.

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  25. Keep the tiny white one. And all of the others. Keep them. She is beautiful. The end.
    P.S. I’m glad you’re back! Well, at least partly back! It’s so good to read your not-blog again! And see 50385204822 pictures of the cats.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Pish posh, four cats is almost nothing more than 3. I mean, how much can she eat right now? Is Ned still lusting over her? One reason I can’t foster is that I would be horribly depressed every time one had to go to be adopted. The other reason is my current cat HATES other cats and would kill them. Possibly by rolling over on them since he is a whopping 18 pounds. Glad you are allowed four hours a day and hope you can come back full time soon. Lovely post, Jube.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. The photo with the two cats on you? I super love those pants. And the checked shoes.

    This must be frustrating for you to still not be up to full speed. I’m glad you’re healing! I hope the chiro helped.

    I

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Yayyyy, you’re feeling better! Welcome back! I’ve missed you!
    Re: the last photo-
    Baby June is darling, and Grandma is your doppelgänger. WOW! You could totally go to a Dress As Your Ancestor party with nothing to purchase but a curly gray wig. You’re not turning into her — the transformation is complete!

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  29. It would only be 3.5 cats because Milhouse is with Sissy and family. Thank you for awarding me the first ever Nobel prize for cat maths.
    Also I need cat advice. Our recent cat has been here a year, she was abused and abandoned. She pees on my bed when she is mad at me, like when I went away this weekend. It’s overwhelming. I have spent millions on cat pheromones and pee neutralizers. My vet recommended tranquilizers. What does the wisdom of the June crew say?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Stacy,
      Have you tried CBD oil? My current cat was acquired in late May last year, and then I didn’t see her at all. Not once, month after month. I tried the CBD oil, and just have to believe it helped. In November she finally came out, got all snuggly, and it’s so much better. I did the CBD for about 2 months or so.

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  30. Four is not Crazy Cat Lady territory. Six is Crazy Cat Lady Territory. (For the record, I have three. I don’t foster because I know I could not give them back.)

    You should keep her. You’ve bonded.

    Glad you’re feeling better and got part time privileges back. Hoping you’ll be back full time soon. (With us, not with your work. I’m sure they want you back full time, too, but I’m more selfishly concerned about your blogging.)

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  31. Who says you can’t have four fekkin cats? Come on …what’s one more? And being that Mil is always with his BFF this pretty little snowflake kitty won’t even noticed. You only live once. I have missed you on the Facebooks and this blog and all of the interwebs. It seemed like you were gone for forever and ever. Amen. Glad you’re back…..my MomMom also had the same lamp/table combo thing, and doilies on the ends of the sofa and glass ashtrays everywhere.

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  32. I can’t be first, can I??? So glad to see you back online and I hope you get the okay on Wednesday to get back to your reguarly scheduled life.
    I love your pet photos. Never too many of them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • See, I knew I couldn’t be first. If I didn’t spend so much time backspacing to correct my typos maybe I’d stand a chance…. (since I know how much you love elipses).

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  33. WELCOME BACK!!

    Keeeeeeeeep her. Four is not Crazy Cat Lady Level. Four is hardly more than three. That photo of her with the sun shining through her furs is enough proof that you need to keep her.

    Not what you wanted to hear/read I’m sure.

    I will now be horribly insensitive and un-PC and suggest you can reference Kate from that hideous show, This Is Us (that I only hate-watch now), instead of Lulu. Because Kate? Is a lotta woman.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My husband’s best friend’s dad said that to me once. I did not take offense because he had a daughter my size that he adored and because it was said on his houseboat which was such a fun way to spend a Summer’s day.

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  34. I adore the photo where tiny is bridging between the couch and table – I could see the commentary of “what are you doing?” “Nothing”….wait til she turns, wait til she turns….

    For the overall cat situation, Milhous is only a temporary resident these days, right? Since she’s not very big, she just makes that cat column whole. Conundrum solved?

    So glad you’re semi back, returning to things you enjoy and hopefully feeling better. Lovely post, pretty June. You were missed!

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Well I’m glad you’re partially released and I realize this means you won’t read these comments because you have to save your eyes for your 4 hours of work. The pets are adorable as usual. Why can’t you have four cats if you want to? I work with someone who had 8 at one time. Now they only have 2 and when those are done they aren’t going to have any because they are going to retire and travel. But right now, why can’t you have 4?!

    Liked by 1 person

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