June is back and the same-er than ever

I’m back! You’ve no idea how delightful it is to plug my phone into the computer and sit down with my coffee, dog’s snout on my lap.

…Turns out, his snout was on my lap because he wanted to go outside. That dog doesn’t love me one bit. He and Milhous seem to have an ecosystem going: Mil kills something then Edsel rubs in it.

Anyway, hi, which I just accidentally wrote as anyway, ho, and that is my new greeting of all dignitaries and blog readers.

I’ve no idea where I left off, but let’s just say I’ve had 4948394024 doctor visits, in which I finally asked the staff with whom I’ve become intimate (not literally. This is not YouPorn) if I could have complimentary scrubs after my 40th visit. They said they’d name one of the rooms after me instead. If you go to my doctor, you’ll know because they’ll guide you to the rooms, one of them named the June Gardens Concussion Suite.

Also, wouldn’t it be great to wear scrubs every day to work? I mean, sure, you have to chance getting upchucked on, but that’s a small price to pay for an elastic waistband.

So other than being on the mend, although not still 100% and COULD CONCUSSIONS TAKE LONGER?, Ima scroll through my photos to see if anything else is new, although I can tell you the answer is nyet, June. Is “nyet” no? Or is it short for “not yet” in Russian? Is nyet even Russian?

This has been a weird month. At first, when I was napping 4x a day, I was having the most vivid dreams. It was kind of great. I had one dream where I was totally making out with this guy I know, a person I like quite a bit but not that way, because he is married. I can’t help what I dream, dawgs.

Anyway, in the dream, we were having a great time when the guy who sits next to me at work, Fewks, came up OUT OF NOWHERE and said in this disapproving tone, “June. I really don’t think Ferdinand’s wife would appreciate this.”

WHY THE FUN POLICE, FEWKS? God.

Naturally, during the six minutes a day they allowed me to work, I told Fewks about this dream and his response?

“Well, his wife really would be mad,” he cockblocked.

So really that’s been the highlight of my four weeks. Mostly it’s been me not looking at screens and not watching TV and not reading.

I still don’t have my car, but I’m enjoying my rental Mustang. Did I show you this? (Everything is kind of a fog. I can’t remember.)

At night, when I click the thing® (official name) to unlock my car, THE MUSTANG LOGO LIGHTS UP THE SIDEWALK FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN IT’S COOL.

Last Friday I finally went to dinner with my neighbors again and of course I dragged them all out to look at this phenomenon.

“Ooooo,” they all said.

“We’re gonna wait here till you drive away to see if it stays lit up,” one of the men said. But when I put it in reverse, everyone said, “Ohhhhh.” And either they were extra disappointed that I was leaving or the light went out. Maybe when I leave a gathering the light goes out for everyone anyway.

Also, I am kitten-sitting for Snowflake, now Sidney, because Ned had a boy weekend with boys in which they did boy things like fish. “If I adopt her, I’ll have to leave that first weekend for my trip,” he worried. All Ned does is worry.

“I’LL BABYSIT HER!” I screeched. His uncle comes to take care of his cat du jour (like he didn’t have NedKitty for 18 years) but he didn’t want Sidflake to be alone at this young of an age.

So she was here Friday through Sunday and then on Sunday I got sad Wonderful World of Disney feeling about her going.

“I have to leave this week for a business trip overnight,” Ned worried.

“I’LL KEEP HER TILL THEN, THEN!!!” I screeched, and now she’s here most of the week! I love her so bad, I do.

I’ve been feeding her the depressing healthy Science Pellets or whatever it is that Ned got for her. At MY house, and I’m like my gramma, she always got Fancy Feast Kitten food, junky and delicious. Then Ned adopted her and all healthy hell broke loose. Ned even has a depressing measuring spoon to meter out the exact amount every 12 hours exactly.

Ned has an engineering degree.

Iris gets this tuna and pumpkin food now, for her irritable attitude disorder or whatever it is, and SnowSid seems so interested in it, so today I couldn’t stand it and I let her have some.

Note that Milhous is relegated to the adult dry boring kibble, as SnowNey was GROWLING while she ate, so delighted was she. It’s less cute when I do this at Boston Market.

By the time Ned gets back, he’ll get out that sad measuring spoon of kibble and she’ll spit on it.

don’t make bettyy whyte go back to helthy unkle neddz

I’ve TOLD Ned he can have his choice of any of my other cats. I think that’s a fair deal. He can take two! Hell, he can take Edsel! People pass up great deals that are right under their noses.

wate. WUT?

Anyway, that’s the guff. Do you know what I miss about TypePad? Almost nothing. But it DID tell me how many words I’d written and I always tried to stop at 600 and usually failed, but I always always tried to stop at 1,000. I have NO IDEA how many words I’ve typed today but it feels like nintey-forty-two.

June. Your source for math numbers.

So I’ll go, and I’ll be back tomorrow like a normal person, because we’re trying a regular schedule to see how I do. If I do poorly, I’ll have to return to the June Gardens Concussion Suite for further confabbing so let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

Anyway, ho.

June

81 thoughts on “June is back and the same-er than ever

  1. Anyway Ho! Land Ho!
    Why did they say “land ho,” anyway? (Anyway ho.)
    Welcome back. Kotter.
    I want to kitnap Sidflake.

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  2. It’s so good to see you back !. Yay ! ! Seriously … that precious kitten …. you gotta keep her !!! You HAVE TO … just too adorable not to .

    More seriously , so sorry about fhe concussion – scary . VERY thankful it wasn’t worse .

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  3. So glad you are feeling better! And – Sidflake – omg – sooo precious! Glad I do not live close by or I would be Kitnapping! ha ha

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  4. Yay you! So glad you are getting better. You look good! *racing off to check out that brush*

    I’m curious. Did the concussion help/hurt/not have an affect on the migraines?

    That kitten is so adorable. I hope Edsel is enjoying her visit, and his medications are working and he is feeling better.

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  5. I’m happy you’re back. Perfect setup with Ned & Sidflake. You get the kitteh loves and he gets the vet trips and bills. All those people who said to you, “One more doesn’t make any difference!” pffft. Every additional pet is hundreds more per year and multiple vet trips. Worth it, sure. But it isn’t nothing. Like the difference between owning a horse and having a good neighbor with a horse. Go for the scene where somebody else gets the bills.

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  6. So happy to see you back. Snowflake with those seriously long whiskers is good medicine! Looking so cute must be a defense against retaliation after one of her very un-cute moves.

    Love the Mustang logo light thing. I asked my trainer if his Mustangs do the same, and he sent me a video. The light stays on when you open the door…how cool.

    The vintage embroidered piece in the header photo looks so much nicer on your table than it did inside my dresser drawer. If it’s the one I sent, that is. I’m so happy it’s being used, no matter where you got it!

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  7. As a Concussion Survivor (Multiple concussions. Explains a lot), I know what it’s like to have a rental car that’s much more fun to drive than your own car and it’s not fair.

    Someone backed into me in a parking lot and while the damage looked relatively minor, it still cost over $5K and took over a month to repair. During that time, I had a rental SUV that I LOVED and really dreaded having to give it back when my shitty Chevy Cruze was finally fixed. 2 days after getting my car back, I traded it in for an SUV. I will never buy a small car again. SUVs for me from here on out. I like feeling safe and being able to see over and around the other cars, something I never got when driving that Cruze.

    SnowflakeBettyWhiteSidViciousNedKitty2.0 is just the cutest little cotton puffball of a kitty.

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  8. So glad you are back to blogging again!! It is my opinion that Sidflake is the most precious kitten ever – would it be possible for you to babysit her forever???
    I stopped doing Curly Girl because no one in my family enjoyed my curls except me. When I pondered out loud one day “I can’t decide if I should start wearing my hair straight again….” “STRAIGHT!!!” my husband said…loudly and enthusiastically. So here I am, back to being straight again. (heee!)

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  9. You have been missed around here and I was delighted to find a new post complete with pictures. I won’t be surprised to find the June Gardens Concussion Suite added to the tourist maps of your town as it would definitely be a highlight. Tourists will be straining their necks to catch a glimpse of you although I hope you will soon be 100% and only showing up to sign autographs and take selfies with the tour bus.

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  10. Look at ol’ June over there with her concussionness. What a beauty.
    Glad you have had some fun on your edited schedule. So glad you are back and that you are almost doctored up. Scrubs are why doctors offices are so happy. Love you in jeans with a kitten on your lap.

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  11. At long last! My son played football and had a few concussions. Then he transferred to play water polo in college. We were like, ‘yeah- now we don’t worry about concussions’ and in the spring he took an elbow to the head and whammo . . . ANOTHER concussion. It interfered with his school work/grades. Sucked.

    Glad you are better and chuckled at work guy aka cock block. Ha!

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  12. “Also, wouldn’t it be great to wear scrubs every day to work? I mean, sure, you have to chance getting upchucked on, but that’s a small price to pay for an elastic waistband.”

    Anyway, ho, I’m dead.

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  13. Really glad to see you feeling much better; I had no idea how long concussions took to heal but I guess now that I think about it, football players are out for weeks after they get one so hey, you’re in the same illustrious group as Joe Namath and those other football dudes.

    LOVED the three shots of Snowsid checking the others to make sure they were asleep. Such a cute kitty and such a great caption.

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  14. Welcome back, your concussion was your ticket out
    Welcome back, to that same old place that we laughed about
    Well the names are all the same since you hung around
    …..
    enough bastardization of the Welcome Back Kotter song… just glad to “see” you again!

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  15. Hi June & welcome back! Missed the full length missives. Maybe you and Ned could co-parent Little Miss Snowflake. Also, there is a tropical storm, Karen, brewing out there in some open water. Is that what you’ve been up to?

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  16. Very glad you’re back and feeling better. I can’t get over the cuteness of SidFlake. Do you think Ned adopted her because she could be a reincarnation of Nedkitty?

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  17. Cuteness and funnyness (yes it IS a word) are sprinkled all throughout this post! Welcome back! I hope that you do not have to return to concussion world!

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  18. Ned has a measuring spoon.

    Sigh.

    When we adopted Phyllis, the breeder cat who could no longer breed and so she was going to a shelter and DO NOT get me started on THAT, the breeder person brought us Phyllis and a small baggie of her food. “This is the only food she has ever had and all she will eat.” It was some ungodly looking all brown same-sized pellets. Looked healthy and expensive. And flavorless. Now I did not take that as a challenge, but as I already had Albert, I wasn’t about to try and feed two cats two different things. One of them had to give. I planned to slowly introduce Phyllis to the cheap crap cat food I feed my cats by adding her horrid pellets into the dish until …. yeah. Phyllis ate that that first bowl like she was going to the electric chair, sat back and licked her chops and waited for more. Ok, yes, then she threw up all over the place, but she’s a CAT and cats throw up. So long story short (too late) they both eat the cheap crap cat food and on Sundays they share a can of Fancy Feast. And I swear they each have a calendar and know when Sunday is because they drive me INSANE until they get that can.

    Sorry for rambling. It’s what I do.

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  19. V. glad you are back and hope you’re extra screen allowance is going to allow you time to sue somebody for big heaps $$$$$$$.
    (Also, whiy is the dollar sign prominent on a Spanish keyboard but the € is complicated?)

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    • WTF? Stupid spellcheck changing your to you’re: just what’s needed on a copyeditor’s blog – *eye roll*
      AND an i in why – last time commenting 😦

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  20. I too, had missed that Ned adopted little marshmallow fluff. I adore that kitty. I hope that means we still get to see her, since clearly he needs you to watch her while he does his Boy Things and Business Things.

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  21. So glad you’re back! I missed that Ned had adopted the kitteh. How awesome that you get to snuggle her still! She’s a total cutie. Not shocked that he had a measuring spoon. I actually invested in a measuring scoop because my “handful of kibble” was a lot more generous than the cat-sitter’s. Also it means I don’t get kibble bits under my nails (which is icky). Anyhow, I’m glad you’re healing, and I hope that you heal so well that in six months the staff are wondering who June Gardens is and why they have a room named after her. 🙂

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  22. Yay!! I have been hoping you were feeling better. Those concussions are horrible for lingering.
    That little white kitten might be the second prettiest one I have ever seen. She is adorable. I’m glad you have partial custody.
    Welcome back, beautiful Coot!

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  23. Welcome back, I miss wearing scrubs, the most comfortable uniform. I always had something to wear and cute tennis to match.
    We got our truck back after someone hit it while it was in the driveway. It only had 700 miles on it, well it looked ridiculous so we took it some where else and now we have been fighting with the insurance company to fix it right like they said they would. What a pain in the ass this has been. So check your car very good and you also don’t have to sign anything when you pick it up, you can tell them that you will sign it in a day or so when you drive it and check it out good. Not advice just info.
    Poor Eds, he doesn’t know he stinks when he rubs onto dead things, maybe offer a sleepover on those nights. Hopefully they will bathe him.
    Glad you are back, looking forward to tomorrows post.

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  24. Woohoo! Second, who you calling ho? Then of course, ” It’s less cute when I do this at Boston Market.” I’m dead. So glad you are back.

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  25. Welcome back. I’ve been wondering how long you were going to milk this concussion nonsense! Just kidding, glad you feel better.

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  26. Welcome back! So glad you are getting less and less concussed. It must be miserable. I hope you get to resume your regular schedule. Too bad you can’t keep that cool rental car. Is it a five-speed? They are so much fun to drive. Love all the photos. Maybe you can catnap that baby muffin and find another kitten for Ned. I think ynet is no in Russian. At least that’s what my husband was using for no after he returned from a trip to Belarus.

    You look absolutely lovely on your return post. So glad you are back and feeling better. You have been greatly missed.

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  27. Concussions apparently make your hair look very good. That’s one thing I have yet to try. Hmmm.

    Welcome back. SidFlake is ridiculously beautiful.

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  28. So glad you’re on the mend, and that you get to spend some extra time with that sweet little white muffinhead! Welcome back!

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  29. YAY! This is a great day! Thanks for the lovely post, you have been missed. I hope you continue to do well. Walmart has some cute scrubs. My bff is a NICU nurse and she wears a lot of adorable ones.
    I am enjoying how you are spoiling that adorable bad ass kitten. The image of her spitting on Ned with his healthy food and measuring spoon made me smile hugely!

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  30. Oh my god! JUNE IS BACK! Best day ever! And that kitten NEEDS you. NED IS POISON TO BETTY WHITE JUNE!

    You look wonderful! Make out with whoever you choose – you’ve earned it!

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  31. Lovely post, Coot. So happy you are back from the wonderful world of the concussed.
    Betty White is beautiful, but Edz? You would really trade faithful, loving, puppy eating Edz?
    I just got my car back and I had my accident the week after yours. I had become attached to my rental. I even named it. I will miss Midnight Rider.
    Glad you are better

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