All the leaves are brown

When you read that someone “collapsed” somewhere—and why do only celebrities seem to collapse?—what do you picture? Why do only celebrities get “exhaustion”?

I just picture their knees buckling and them going straight down, when they collapse. I imagine it’s less dramatic than all that, but the word “collapse” is pretty dramatic in and of itself.

I was reading about Judy Garland. And then Judy Garland’s husbands. And then Judy Garland’s kids, one of whom recently “collapsed” on stage and it turns out she had a brain tumor, which is a bad day right there.

I went with a coworker to see the Judy Garland movie this weekend. Have you seen it? It’s really very good. I may have already asked you this because I already went to see the Judy Garland movie last weekend but I went a second time.

The coworker I went with is young. After it was over, I asked him why he even wanted to go. “Oh, you give me a fallen star and I’m all over it,” he said.

Plus also, after watching this movie, we now feel guilty about ever watching The Wizard of Oz again. That stupid horrible Louis B Mayer.

Anyway, hi. What’s new? I am speaking into my phone because Iris is on my lap making biscuits and I feel too bad to get up. I wish just ever so slightly that someone else lived here so I could say, “Will you bring me more coffee?” (But I don’t really wish it that hard.)

Two of my four pets are not feeling well. I think this is a problem you face when you get many young pets within the same year.

I got Edsel as a puppy October 2010.

I got Iris as a kitten during Christmas of 2011.

Technically I got Lily 10 days later, on January 5, 2012.

So, OK, the same 14-month span. Why don’t you be less picky? Why don’t you relax? Why don’t you take a chill pill? Do you know what makes me not at all take a chill pill? Is somebody saying “chill pill.”

If only there were a chill pill.

Anyway, Iris is 8 and Edsel is 9. Neither one of them count as old yet, but they both are pretty sick. The first thing I noticed about Iris is that she was losing weight and then her hair was falling out in clumps. So I took her to the doctor and they noticed her stomach was inflamed and I don’t know why that made her hair fall out but they gave her steroids and told me to keep her on them for a very long time.

But then after she been on them for maybe two months, she got really really really extra super special sick. She got a terrible upper respiratory thing and I thought it was going to kill her.

I took her to a different vet, because I had taken her to my regular vet three times and this was the result I got? Turns out the high dose of steroids had lowered her immune system and that’s why she got the upper respiratory thing. So then she was on two new medications to treat the upper respiratory thing, and I took her off the steroids.

She doesn’t have the bad cold anymore but her hair is back to falling out in clumps again. We go back this week.

So that’s relaxing.

As for Edsel, first he was doing this thing where he seemed very distressed after we played. He would walk around drunkenly and pace the floors for half an hour after and just seemed like he was not comfortable at all. The vet said he’s got hip dysplasia. But then after a few months of giving him the nutty crunchy hippie full moon granola meditate fix his auras align his chakras medicine that she gave me to give him (fish oil and these natural chews to help joints), he was still doing the walk-around-drunk thing.

So I took him back and they did x-rays and found all sorts of problems inside of him, and his lab numbers weren’t good. Not that he’s a Lab.

So now he’s on hard-core American drugs. Some of you might say, “big pharma” and if you do I am not speaking to you. He is less drunk-acting but I can still tell the pills make him feel not well.

So that’s what I’m working with.

And of course in my mind they’re both going to die off and pretty soon it will just be me and two cats. Who even ever heard of living in such a puny way? One person and two measly cats. That’s not even a house.

I didn’t know I was going to go off on this tangent, wherein I have sort of recapped my vet woes that I’ve already told you about. But I guess it’s been on my mind.

I’d better get dressed and go to work. I still don’t have my car back and I’m driving the rental car. I went back to my trainer this weekend, for just the second time since my accident, and I look forward to getting back to where I was before this accident. I was starting to look sort of cute. Now it’s like I’ve melted. When I stand next to my trainer and we are looking in the mirror, I feel like Mama Cass next to that other pretty little singer. What was the other singer’s name?

OK. I’m getting my ham sandwich and putting on my mumu and heading out.

43 thoughts on “All the leaves are brown

  1. What medicine is Edsel on? My dog died a couple of months ago, and of course right when her bottle of super expensive meds had arrived. I’ll send them your way if they can help. I hope the vet-police don’t come after me.

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  2. Sending health to your babies. I empathize.
    I picture people “collapsing” the way TV trays do–those useless rickety things.
    Last night I dreamed I had to fight Neo-Nazis. And I woke up with a head cold. So.

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  3. My dog had more doctors that I did. He had what we called his primary care physician, his gastrointestinal doctor, his dermatologist, and his canine behavioral specialist. Get a dog they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Paid so much money to that dermatologist and I gave that poor doggie allergy shots for years on end. Turns out he was lying right on an ant hill every day. Got rid of the ants and the dermatologist the same week. He wasn’t allergic to grass as the doc said, but to ANTS. Freakin’ little tiny ants. Put oil on his food and got rid of his GI doc that same week. As for the behavioral specialist we decided he was must a territorial mean little cuss and fired that one. The dog, that is, though the behavioral specialist was a jerk, too.

    I’m sorry about Edsel and Iris ailing. That hurts our hearts.

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  4. I’m sorry about your pets’ ailments. One of mind had a horrid bout of diarrhea Thursday and Friday so that sucked. In other news, I learned how to use my brand new uphosltery cleaner.

    I don’t know the story about Judy Garland and the Wizard of Oz. I love that movie and I am afraid to learn, but I will. I hope I don’t have to abandon it like I did my Bill Cosby comedy records.

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  5. Annnnnnd zing ! Ham sandwich and mumu.
    Do they still make mumus outside of Polynesian places ?
    So sorry about the sicknesses and ailments. Sucks.

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  6. Aww so sad the babies are struggling with issues! I really hate when mine get sick too. Right now they are very healthy – knocking on wood!
    My cat Princess got pretty chub and was peeing a lot – she had diabetes. So for 8 years I gave her insulin shots morning and night! I did lose her but she was 16 and a half – Still broke my heart. There is no easy ground with pets…. Just give them all your love!
    Hope you feel better too, Juney!

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  7. Neither of them are old enough for this crap. That makes me hate that they don’t feel well even more.

    I wish I had a magic potion or some kind of fixer for them. I really do.

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  8. Hope all the conditions (the sky being gray) improve. I hate that you feel blue. I can vouch for getting older and slowing down.

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  9. A friend asked me the other day how much is too much to spend on a puppy adoption and I told her whatever she pays now will be tripled and quadrupled when they are old and sick. You have been so kind and compassionate to your aging pets.

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  10. Sorry about the sick babies. Yes, I always think of mine as babies even if they are 18 or 19. I am taking mine to get his annual checkup this morning and he will be mad with me for days. It is also the year for his rabies shot and those make him kind of puny. If an 18+ pound cat can be called puny. We will be told he is overweight and how we should hide his food. I will nod and smile and then ignore them because I am not hiding food from my cat. He only gets 2/3 a cup a day of diet cat food but he refuses to lose weight.

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  11. I also have two cats who are sick and on lifelong medication. It sucks. Both acted like they were drunk and they had completely different health issues. I saw something from Cornell University vet school that in a research project, cats that could choose between a toy, a treat or a human, they chose the human. So I try to spend intentional time with everyone.

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  12. So sorry that Eds is also not feeling well. It is stressful to have not only one sick pet, but two. Double the stress. Hope the new vet can help them both.

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  13. No one’s dying. Period.

    Moving on… Mama Cass had a beautiful voice. Michelle Philips turned out to be the real mess, with her messed up marriage and messed up kids. What a disaster.

    Lovely post lovely June! I can’t believe you still don’t have your car back! They could’ve built you a new one by now!

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  14. I am SO sorry about iris and Edsel’s health issues. As pet parents, it’s very stressful, we can’t do enough for them, and they look at us, like, ‘would you fix me, please?” And the situation is always right at the front of your brain. Thinking of you and your sweet fur babies.

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  15. My cat has allergies that make him itchy and pull his fur out. So they gave me this allergy medication that he absolutely hated that I gave religiously for several years. Then this spring he’s hiding in the basement miserable with a big lump on his head. So after a terrible couple days when they are telling me he has cancer and we may have to let him go, my brilliant vet remembers an obscure article and gives him an antibiotic for toxoplasmosis- almost instantly better! Turns out the allergy meds suppress the immune system. He just has to itch now – no more immunosuppressants!

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  16. Not the ham sandwich!
    But seriously, I was at a craft fair in Cape May this weekend and they were selling CBD oil without THC in it and the pamphlet recommended it for cats and dogs also. I can get you the name of the company if you’d like. They do shipping.

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  17. I never watch The Wizard of Oz anyway. Hateful horrid movie. I will watch this Judy Garland movie when it comes out on cable/satellite/tv. I can’t even remember the last movie I saw in an actual movie theatre, but I suspect it was either animated or a Harry Potter. Speaking of stars, did you watch Fosse/Verdon (on Fox, I think) and if not, I HIGHLY recommend. You actually forget that is Michelle Whoever (Williams?). And you can really hate Bob Fosse, and which is always fun; getting all torqued up about a dead person that you never even knew.

    I hate when pets don’t feel well. You just feel so helpless.

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  18. You make a good point that only celebs collapse. So true. I have not seen the Judy Garland movie and I do not know much about her background. You have peeked my curiosity so I look forwardto seeing it. Despite Renee. I understand she is good in it so I will need to get over her puckered look.

    Sorry about your pets ailments. It does seem like you are facing rough days ahead as they all meet old age together. I cringe to think of your vet bills.

    Speaking of ailments- ever had pink eye? I got it Saturday, the morning after I arrived in NY to watch my son play water polo. Hard to watch wp when you feel like your eye is on fire and tears are flowing like a broken dam in the eye. No one tells you that pink eye is CRAZY painful. At least I did not know.

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    • I got pink eye a few months ago. I went to the store to pay too much for a tiny tube of Stye. But when I got home, I used a product I have in a drawer called OCuSOFT lid scrub Original eyelid cleaner for mild-moderate conditions. I used ONE of those and the pink eye went away. I was surprised, but delighted because those little things hurt like heck.

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      • I remember my cousin Katie pierced her nose at a friend’s house when she was a teen, and got pinkeye as a result. That is the full knowledge I have of it.

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      • I have several friends who swear by washing out your eyes with Johnson’s baby shampoo at the first sign of pinkeye (and have witnessed it working on one of said friends).

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  19. I am sorry about the pet health sitch. Poor sweet babies. You are a great pet mom. Am I allowed to say that? I refer to myself as the mother or the ma. ” The mother is home!” Two of mine need checkups, Elphaba is twelve now, I always worry they will find something.
    Mama Cass had the better voice. I must say I do love a mum and ham IS my favorite sandwich. My mumus got too big so there is that.

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  20. I. LOVED. The Judy Garland movie. I was prejudiced against Renee Zellweger, but she is amazing in it. So good. And yes same re: Wizard of Oz.

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  21. It was Michelle Phillips. I feel your pain. I used to teach with a very nice women. However, she was a tiny little thing, always dressed beautifully, and never had a hair out of place. I am the complete opposite. No matter how hard I try I’m always a hot mess after a few hours. As a kid I played hard and always had a dirty face, and a messy tangled head of hair. Teaching with her made me feel like I was still that kid. Best part she was so sweet and always assured me that I looked good. Sorry to hear the critters are not well.

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  22. Michelle Phillips was the other Mama with Cass Elliot.

    I’m sorry Eds and Iris are feeling puny. I still blame those dogs who hurt Iris for her declining health.

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  23. Lovely post, Coot.
    I am sorry you have sick animals. It sucks. And it sucks money out of your bank account. I hope Edz and Iris feel better soon.

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