We’ve known each other for quite a while now, and I think you’ve likely surmised that I am a cranky but decent human.
When I’m dealing with doctors and veterinarians and dentists and people of that ilk, I try to be likable. I do this so that people will like me. Usually on my insides I’m feeling crabby about something or other (“usually”) but I try to keep that from showing as much as I can. Because I want people to be all, “Oh, that June. She’s our favorite patient.”
This is why I was mortified several years back when my dentist’s office closed for a funeral and I had to reschedule my cleaning. I said to the person who answered the phone, “Yes, this is June Gardens?” I always start every official phone call with “yes.”
“￼Yes. The office had some funeral and so I’m calling to reschedule?”￼ I continued.
The person who answered the phone paused for a moment. “Yes,” she said. “It was for my father’s funeral.”
Well. You can imagine. I just felt terrible.
We scheduled my new appointment and then half an hour later I called again. “Bobbie,” I said, “￼￼￼It’s June.” I’d been going there for about eight years at that point so I knew she knew who it was.
“￼I’m calling to apologize for what I said when I called earlier. I referred to the funeral as ‘some funeral,’ and I just feel terrible that I said it that way. I hope you’ll accept my apology, Bobbie.”￼
The person on the other end paused again. “My name is Billie,” she said.￼
And that is when I stopped going to that dentist’s office.￼
So I still had the shadow of that humiliation following me when I got annoyed with my chiropractor the other day. After my accident, I went to the chiropractor a few times, but my doctor asked me to stop going while I was concussed. She didn’t think that whole neck/concussion combo was ideal.
However, I needed to know how many times I had gone to the chiropractor for insurance purposes. I have no idea why I’m speaking so formally right now. Maybe next I’ll start my blog posts with “yes.”￼
￼I knew the chiropractor closed for lunch; they re-opened at 2:30 every afternoon.
The day I called to get my records, ￼I called at 2:29 just in case anyone got to the desk early. No one did. Then I called at 2:30. No one answered again. Well, maybe they’re just settling back in, I thought.
I called again at 2:31. 2:32. 2:33.￼￼ My problem is with my ADD I get so forgetful about things that if I don’t do it right then I won’t think of it again for 72 years. I gotta strike while the ADD isn’t looking.
Finally, I left an email through their website. I was just the teensiest bit admonishing. (I was way nicer than the grandmother I’ve turned into would have been about it.)
“I saw on your website that you should be open at 2:30, but I called several times between 2:30 and 2:45 and no one ever answered. Please get in touch with me to let me know how many times I visited your office after my August 21 accident,” I wrote.￼
I understand there was a little schoolmarm in my tone.￼ We all know that was inquisitive with just a touch a bitch. I was fooling no one with that.
They wrote me back a few days later. “Here are the records of your visits. Sorry we didn’t get back to you earlier, but we had a death in the family and the entire office took off to go to the funeral.”
First of all, am I the Angela Lansbury of medical appointments? Why is it that everywhere I go, familial death and destruction occur moments later?
Second, I felt like a big ass. I apologized profusely in my reply email and I will probably never go back to that￼￼ chiropractor again.￼
As you know, because I’ve mentioned it here and everywhere else for the past two months, I was in a car accident in August.
My car got towed to a body shop and they have been just lovely to me. They were even nice to me the day after my accident when I called there crying.
However, they’ve had my car for 50 days. When the accident originally happened, they told me it would be about four days to fix. Fifty and four are not similar numbers. I know we aren’t all maths experts but I can tell you that much.￼
Yesterday, I sent an email.￼ “Yes. I am writing to see when my car will be ready. It was supposed to be ready in four days but it has been 50. I would at least like an estimate of when I can expect my car back,” I wrote, pursing my lips in an email.
At the end of the day I received a reply. “We understand how frustrating it must be to wait this long for your car,” they wrote. “Your car is almost ready, although we did not work today because the entire office took off for a family funeral. It should be ready in the next day or two.”
I guess what I’m saying is if you have a family business and you want any member of that business rubbed out, give me your info and I will start using you as my dentist, body shop, plumber, you name it. Once I send the angry email, I promise somebody in your family will keel right over.￼
…Do you think I can hire somebody to go to the body shop and pretend to be me to pick up my car when it’s ready? Do you think I can blame my concussion? Oooo, I can say I was hacked!