I’m serene June, your spa director.

As I mentioned earlier this week–and does this seem to be the most endless everlasting gobstopper week ever?–I’ve had somewhere extra that I’m scheduled to be all week.

On Saturday morning, I had a date. We hated each other.

On Sunday afternoon, another date. We, too, hated each other. For awhile I kept a list of every date I had but now it’s too much bother. I don’t know why I trouble myself and put mascara on on a weekend.

I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but it involves doing my cleaning/painting/anything fun early so I can shower so I can then air-dry my hair FOR FOUR HOURS before said dates.

On Monday, I had a noon doctor’s appointment.

Tuesday after work I had the trainer.

Yesterday morning I had to go to the doctor early for labs. After work I had a hair appointment, which of course is a two- or three-hour event. Men never understand this.

I took a before picture, above, and then never took an after picture, and the fact that I’m this scattered is why I’m writing to you now. (I can’t take an after picture now because when you get your hair colored, you can’t get it wet for 36 hours afterward. So it’s sort of frizzy now cause I slept on it and she never cakes on the gel as I do. She sort of thinks of gel and waves it over my head. I have said gelless hair half up in a ponytail holder and I look like Gene Simmons with no makeup.)

(Remember when Kiss decided to take off their makeup and they looked like old Jewish men and when they performed they kept making those same I’m-a-cat faces but instead of looking mysterious they looked like old Jewish men making faces? That’s me today.)

Tonight I have my trainer again, and tomorrow right after work I know I have something but I can’t remember what and then — oh! Pedicures with The Poet. Then Saturday I have Edsel’s vet appointment and Monday the doctor again and when life is like that, this is what happens…

I walked in on this today. I apparently started emptying the dishwasher, god knows when, and never finished.

Also, necklaces. When I get busy like this, I tend to just take off that day’s necklace just anywhere and plop it down. God forbid I take it to the jewelry thing in this giant 999-square-foot house. So necklaces are on the coffee table, the bathroom sink, the desk here. It’s absurd.

I don’t mind having something to do maybe one or two days a week, but having to be somewhere day after day irks me. I don’t know how families with kids and schedules and full-time jobs even do it without being constantly cranky.

Oh, also? My toilet’s clogged, so at lunch today I have to run to Target or something and buy a plunger. I HAD a plunger and I think I threw it out when I moved. It didn’t bring me joy.

And yes, I tried the thing where you put vinegar and baking soda down there. And the warm water thing. I have one toilet. I was thirsty last night and didn’t drink any water so I wouldn’t pee.

So that’s what’s relaxing and new. It’s like a spa up in here. Somebody turn on that Native American flute music, cause man, is that soothing to me. If I’d been a Native American and heard that music I’d have been the crankiest squaw in the flute circle.

All right, my papooses, I’ll catch you tomorrow after my relaxing day.

40 thoughts on “I’m serene June, your spa director.

  1. Your life reminds me of a t-shirt I regret not buying. It said “I already need a nap tomorrow!”
    My calendar for the next 3 weeks has no white space. Sighhhh. But tomorrow is a fall holiday for me, so yay. I’ll just work at home in jammies.
    June, all I noticed about your kitchen was how calm and tidy it is. Didn’t even see the open doors.
    Lovely post!!

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  2. Went to grocery store yesterday. Today, went to doctor, hairdresser, Costco. Opened the trunk to find that I had left a bag of ice in the car overnight. Not so icy now.

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  3. How have I never seen your Hello Kitty toaster? I love it. And your tablecloth. And your entire kitchen.
    I totally get the overwhelmed feeling from having too many events. Not even fun events, either, just commitments. Just thinking about them makes me want to take a nap.
    I hope you get some Edsel answers at the vet.
    Lovely post, pretty June.

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    • I must be the least-observant faithful reader as I was thinking, “What Hello Kitty toaster?”. I had to go back and look at your kitchen photo again to finally see it.

      Obviously, I would never make a good witness.

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  4. I am in love with that toaster!!!! So sweet!
    Your hair is truly amazing! I leave my jewelry everywhere in the house – that is, if I wear it. It is usually just earrings.
    I also hate commitments! One day a week I go somewhere to work for a few hours… that is so much more than enough. When I must add in other appointments – it makes me want to scream. Am I just lazy?
    Your house is to die for!

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  5. I hate when I am booked solid. It has been like that around here since Julyand I am completely overwhelmed. My therapist told me that the leaving necklace/ bracelet/ shoes everywhere was a sign that it’s time to relax and let some things go.

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  6. My aunt is getting married next Friday at 11am. If I want dry hair, I’m going to have to get up around 5am to wash my hair, which sucks. But for the wedding photos, I want cute first-day curls because I’m newly menopause chubby and I want the future to see my curls and not the chub.

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  7. I made 2 huge crockpots of chili this am, but took a break to share my 2 cents and now I don’t see my comment. Ugh.

    First I, too, think you look great in the pic.

    2nd, I never followed Kiss and now you make me glad I didn’t.

    3rd, you can never visit me because if an open dishwasher and mislaid accessories upset you then you would struggle at my house. With 20 pairs of shoes wedged behind the mudroom door that the kids cannot fit in their lockers, I can hardly squeeze thru the door.

    4th, I just told my daughter that I cannot wait for Halloween because there are no basketball or Irish dancing practices. No nothing except the doorbell ringing a billion times. Compared with a normal night, that will be relaxing. Curly just gave me her bball schedule on the same day of the 1st practice vs when they handed it out last week. Trying to figure out how to get from there to dancing on nights when I babysit later made me sweat. Coach is a ohysical therapist and works late a few nights a week so I fly solo.

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  8. Hate being busy every night. So happy when daughter could srive. Happiest that she is graduated and off to college and the extra curriculars are over.

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  9. Your schedule this week is my idea of a week in hell. I know you don’t like advice but I’d lean a little harder into being that old Jewish man option.

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  10. Re: mascara – One of the best things about leaving a job where I had to try to look “professional” every day was ditching the mascara. Not sure why I thought mascara upped my professional game, but there it is (was). Now I wear it so seldom that when I go to put it on, I realize it’s been months since I last used it, and should probably get rid of it. And now, re: flute music at spas – That music is exactly why I don’t go to spas. It puts me on edge and I can’t relax. If you add a chatty masseuse, I become near homicidal. BTW, I’m in total agreement re: how great your hair looks. (Thought everyone needed to see another re:)

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  11. I giggled throughout this post. I never noticed your roots until you called attention to them. Love that photo of you. Your kitchen is not a mess, believe me. I always open the dishwasher door when the cycle is 30 minutes from the end, because the machine doesn’t dry the dishes anyway, so I might as well save the electricity by opening the door. I blame this on the stupid energy star now on appliances.

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  12. This week has been forever and it is still only Thursday. I have too much to do this weekend AND next weekend and then it’s Halloween and Trick or Treat in my neighborhood starts before I even get home from work. I’m giving my neighbor my candy to hand out. I’m over it all.

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  13. YESSS. To all of this! This is the longest 4 day week EVER. My entire life is taken up with my kids’ activities – ALWAYS – and I freaking HATE not ever being home at night!! We will get a break in this ridiculous schedule in two weeks and I cannot wait to be home 1-2 weeknights a week. Hope this weekend is extra relaxing to make up for this week!

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  14. It is a super long week and I only worked Monday – Wednesday. Let the weekend begin for me! I’ve got an out of town wedding to go to this weekend so I took a couple extra days. I deserve it.

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  15. Your hair looks great in that picture, roots and all. I never planned anything after work back in the day. I just wanted to go home, have dinner and rest.

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  16. I’ve been thinking this week feels way longer than normal too. What’s up with that? I don’t even have that much going on this week but these days are just dragging by. I was really irked when I woke this morning and it wasn’t Friday.

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  17. Holy Moses, June, you’re upset by an open dishwasher door in your immaculate kitchen?

    Let’s reschedule the pedicure. I’d hate to be the last straw on your everlasting gobstopper’s back.

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  18. “Crankiest squaw in the flute circle” should be on your coffee mug.

    This is one of those weeks for me, and I am unsettled about it. Which means I talk to myself out loud even more.

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    • Oh my goodness, I walked into the Post Office on Tuesday morning, the line was out.the.door. I immediately turned around and said out loud, “I’m not waiting in this line.” The person entering the door looked at me like I was crazy.
      Tee

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  19. Next date you go on, just go how you are, sans makeup , w/o the hairdo, just put up.
    Go natural. Go with someone you like. Live wild , live free. Natural baby.

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  20. Whew, I got real tired just reading your post. Some weeks just be that way. It’s mentally frazzling. I tell Jim, ‘my brain is tired’ ‘cause that’s what it feels like. Hopefully, things will slow down a bit for you. Be good to yourself, June. Oh, love the glasses!

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