People who just look at Facebook/Instagram and never post anything are just taking and not giving. It irks me. The rest of us aren’t just there to entertain you, you know. You’re supposed to contribute, too.
That reminds me: My new sign off every day is going to be, “You don’t have to give an email or name to leave a comment.” Don’t let me forget that that’s my new sign off. It’s this blog’s “Spay and neuter your pets.” It’s this blog’s “And that’s the way it is.” It’s this blog’s “Salll-UTE.”
Anyway, hi. Which I just wrote as anyway, ho, which is real rude.
Thursday at work was extra busy and also extra crispy and also extra flavor extra fun in a sugar-free gum. I kept thinking, Okay, I can handle this, and then I’d get another “We hear you’re not busy, can you do this 80-page thing in 14 seconds?” email. I don’t know who was sending “June’s not busy” flyers out of an airplane but it was false news.
I only worked like a 9-hour-and-45-minute day, which wasn’t THAT bad, but ’twas an intense 9:45 and I came home listless, WHICH SHOULD HAVE TIPPED ME OFF but it didn’t.
On Friday I awoke with a migraine. A bad one. And I no longer know how to set my out-of-office notification on my work email from my home computer. So that was relaxing. Anyway that photo above of my fried chicken pets was just a sample of how everyone here took the day to splay along the length of my sick self, rendering me motionless AND in pain AND nauseated.
On Saturday I hadda go back to work.
We’re doing this thing at work where we’re using our powers of good to help the local SPCA. So we’re going to be have like a puppy telethon in December, where you can see our SPCA’s adoptable animals for hours on end and you can also donate to help the SPCA and so on.
So, on Saturday, some of us volunteered our time to drive to the shelter, get some of the animals there, take them back and photograph them for upcoming social posts to get everyone into the idea. I of course was one of the volunteers.
I hadn’t eaten since Thursday, and to tell you the truth I still had The Lingering Migraine, but it was still the best day at work ever.
Also, I asked if I could blog about it ahead of time and they said sure. Go ahead. Who even looks at your lame blog anyway? But stay tuned for our upcoming Puppython, where you can stare at cats and dogs playing and sleeping for hours on end. Oh my god it’s gonna be so cute.
On Sunday I had to try to do all the things I didn’t get to do Friday or Saturday such as clean the house and eat. Afterward, I took self out on the town. I got up with a friend of mine and we went downtown, which continues to be not a euphemism.
I kept taking selfies on a day that I didn’t look that good. I was migraine hung over, I’d driven with my top down–on my car. I didn’t drive topless to our downtown.
Kit wasn’t there. She owns two stores now and is often at the other. Has anyone noticed I have a disproportionate number of entrepreneurial friends? There’s Kit, who has two vintage shops.
There’s The Other Copy Editor, fmr., who has the bed and breakfast.
Bitchy Resting Face Alex has a general store now that I love.
Chris and Lilly own two places now, a greenhouse and a feed store, because they fancy.
And here I am, working for the man, fending off the “I hear you’re not busy” fliers coming from the helicopter.
For four years, I worked on my own, out of my house, back in LA. But Marvin had a stellar job, so I had sort of a safety net. Also, I had a lot of outside activities, so I didn’t turn into the Maytag repairman, all isolated. Now I might Maytag repair myself into despair if I worked on my own.
Not long ago I was in the vet’s office, for a change, and I saw a woman drive up in one of those pink SUVs that Mary Kay gives to really good salespeople. She was thin and pretty. She would likely hate me.
I always thought I might be good at selling Mary Kay. Except I’d be bad at the bugging people who didn’t want to buy stuff part. The last Mary Kay person I ran across I had to end up blocking from my phone and social media because I swear she would not give up.
“You’re hard to get ahold of!” she said once. Yes. That is because I am dodging you like a flu going around the office.
So that’s my news. Today I think I have the doctor, who, annoyingly, wanted me to come in and have a goddamn physical after I’ve gone to her I think 11 times in two months for my concussion. Really? This isn’t something we can, I don’t know, put off for a few months?
So I had the goddamn fasting labs and now I have the goddamn doctor’s appointment, which means I can’t spend my lunch streaming Poldark, which again is not a euphemism.
Hey, don’t forget you don’t have to put in a name or an email to leave a comment! If you want us to know who you are, you can comment and then sign your name at the end, as part of your comment.
“With all the love I have in my heart,
“You’re my life’s blood,
“Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends,