Batgrrrrrl

Here’s a mistake I made.

Do you like Reddit? I like Reddit. This weekend, I started reading a Reddit thread that asked, “If you signed an NDA and it’s expired, what exciting thing can you reveal now?”

There were the usual “This celebrity is a jerk” and “This corporation is ripping you off,” nothing terribly riveting, there. But then I read one from a person whose dad worked for NASA who said the people in the Challenger didn’t die instantly. They lived until they hit the water. And even worse, there’s a script out there telling you all the things they said.

My mistake is I Googled what they said. And now I wish I hadn’t. I’m not linking to it cause it’s ghoulish, but you too have the power of Google should you want to make yourself upset.

The guy in the Reddit thread said his NASA dad just came home that day and stared into the distance and drank and smoked.

Yeesh.

In cheerfuller news, here is what I did this weekend.

On Friday, I lamented the bags under my eyes. When the Christa McAuliffe did these get here? They’re awful. Also, I have a UTI that won’t go away. I didn’t get to do any of the fun things that NORMALLY lead to a UTI, and yet I know I have one. One course of antibiotics did not do the trick and I know I have to call the doctor but I am already angry, because I know she’ll say I have to come back there.

During my concussion, I went to the doctor at least 6 times Aug–Sept. Then she made me come back in a month after clearing me to return to work. Then, I swear to god, she said, “Don’t forget, you have your physical next week and also you have to come in early and do labs the day before.”

We couldn’t have, oh, combined my concussion visit with the physical? Seriously?

So then at the physical she said, “Don’t forget, you have to come back in a few weeks so we can see how you’re doing on Wellbutrin.”

SERIOUSLY? She put me on it when I kept being too scared to drive. But when I went back for the damn physical I already told her I was doing fine on it.

So, I’ve been to that doctor at a minimum 8 times since late August and I KNOW IN MY HEART OF HEARTS they’ll say, “She wants you to come in” and I am preannoyed.

Somehow this became not about what I did all weekend.

On Saturday I worked again for that extra project we’re doing at work, for the SPCA. I got to spend my whole day playing with puppies, and then come home to sniff of betrayal, where Edsel pretty much lives with his snout on my legs all evening.

Sniffsniffsniffsniffexhale.

Sniffsniffsniffsniffexhale.

Oh, but speaking of work, a guy I work with is forever forgetting to finish his time log at work, where we put in which accounts we worked on and for how long. You have to have all 40 of your hours (or in my case lately, 47 hours) (hello, Saturdays at work) done before Monday morning. Anyway, to remind said coworker to do his time I did a lovely and refreshing dance to Time Has Come Today or whatever that song is called from the ’60s when acid was groovy and we killed the pigs.

So, even though I like spending my Saturdays with dogs and going to the shelter and so on, on Sunday I saw how much laundry I had to do and heard myself yelling, “HOW CAN THERE ALREADY BE THIS MUCH @%#^ LAUNDRY??” and right then I knew. I was kind of burned out.

I threw a load into the washer and, armed with Wellbutrin strength, got in m’car and headed to the country.

There’s a creamery way out that I like to go to, and I am sorry to report to you that I got both butter pecan and double-dark chocolate, and why the cankles.

They have cows there. You can pick your cow to make your ice cream, like with lobster.

I was enjoying the cows except people brought their children to get ice cream and see cows, and what about my needs? I kept waiting for the children portion of the afternoon to thin out but they weren’t budging, so finally I stomped over there my own self and saw cows anyway.

A small child looked up at me. “This one pooped!” she announced.

Well. You know I enjoy poop things.

“Did it?” I asked. “Where?” I was riveted.

It was only after I got to the car that I saw I had chocolate on both sides of my mouth. Sade called. Asked me to be on the cover of her Smooth Operator 45.

1979 called. Wants its references to “45s” back.

I feel like that’s all I have to cover except–oh! Yes!

Since I was free to be you and me, I watched many episodes of That Girl this weekend. If I were Donald, I’d have broken up with Ann in a heartbeat. All that madcap fast talking and wide-eyed shit. But she was cute, so that’s probably why he stayed. But the whole time you know she knows she’s cute, kind of like I know my doctor is gonna say I have to come in, and you want to tell her to cut it out with the smiling with her tongue in her teeth and messing up her hair to drive home how madcap she is.

I kept skipping over the intro, a lovely feature my new Firestick offers, but eventually I sat through one and had a flashback. I called my mother.

“Hullllllo,” said my mother. You know how she answers in that alluring voice. Wait, maybe you don’t remember it. Here it is.

I think you should be more grateful than you are that I made a video for all 10 of you to see before I’ve showered or anything.

Anyway. “Hullllloooo,” said my mother.

“Did I used to call the show That Girl ‘Batgirl’?” I asked.

“Oh, I think you did! I’d forgotten that!” she said, with a normal voice. It’s just the “hello” where she’s Greta Garbo.

Batgirl. What the hell is wrong with me?

Okay, I have to get to work and then I have the trainer and it’s likely by the time I get home I will yell about laundry again.

Busily,
BatJune, who reminds you you don’t have to leave a name or email to comment.

76 thoughts on “Batgrrrrrl

  1. Because it is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing there are a lot of documentaries about it right now. In one of them they played the audio of the astronauts in the capsule (Apollo 1) which burned up on the landing pad. First time I’d ever heard it and … Well, ugh. Tough stuff.

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  2. I loved That Girl. I sincerely thought I was going to grow up and be that girl. After my short visit to NYC over the weekend, I have to admit I’m glad I don’t have to deal with a big city everyday, even though they are fun to visit.

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  3. It’s funny – when That Girl first came on I was confused because I always thought the daughter of Danny Thomas was Angela Cartwright… (you Might Think You’re a Boomer if you get the reference.)

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  4. I like to read Reddit with Snopes open in another tab. I read that post about the Challenger transcript and apparently it was made up by Weekly World News of all things. So now you have a choice of what to believe.

    BeeBelle

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  5. I remember watching That Girl with my mama…not sure why we were home (maybe she had a surgery or something…I couldn’t have been older than three or four) because she worked all my life. I had such fond memories! Tried to watch as an adult…unwatchable!!

    You are so funny.

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  6. A while back i went to my doctor for a physical, and they are supposed to be free. My doctor referred me to a dermatologist for a spot on my hand, and 9 months later I got a bill for a copay for the physical. It seems they’re only free if the doctor doesn’t find anything wrong. Pissed me off.
    I loved your dance video. Grrl has some moves.

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  7. My dad answers the phone every time by saying “Yellow. ” No, really. He replaces the H of hello with a Y. No, I don’t know why.

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    • My Papa used to answer the phone “Good morning!”. Didn’t matter the time of day, he gave you a cheery “Good morning!”

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  8. Late to the party but loving it. Your colors in that top photo of you are beautiful and the dog, oh my golly, what a sweetie pooch. Good for you with the country drive and ice cream.
    The dance for your coworker was hysterical.
    Wellbutrin helped me regain my motivation to start and complete tasks. Better living through chemicals.
    Great post, June.

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  9. You dance very well. You got the beat. (Go-Gos I think!) Even my cat (Nosey Nella) enjoyed the show! Her little nose was pressed to the screen.

    Blech! Doctors. In one year, 4/2017-4/2018, I had both knees and a hip replaced. And, once you reach a certain age, they want to see you every 3 months. Yeah…no.

    Moms do answer the phone oddly. My Mom would always hello with an n in the front. It was kinda like “nayellow”. It was a family joke. She has been gone 29 years and I still remember and cherish the memory.

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  10. And now I make you come back for my second comment, which is that I was on Wellbutrin for a couple of weeks, and I was extremely happy and didn’t think I needed any sleep and memorized the first part of “The Highwayman.” Unfortunately they un-prescribed it.

    “The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
    The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas. . . .”

    It’s a magnificent poem, “The Highwayman.”
    https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43187/the-highwayman

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    • Years ago I prided myself on memorizing things, and the first few stanzas of The Highwayman was one of the poems I committed to memory. Now I have all these pieces of poems rattling around my brain (50 years later) and I can’t remember what I did yesterday.
      “Down like a dog on the highway, with a bunch of lace at his throat.”Linda in CO
      I also know the final verse to Casey at the Bat.

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  11. I was told by a doctor’s staff person that if he did my annual physical AND dealt with some physical problem I was having, insurance would make him bill those as separate visits. Or insurance wouldn’t cover the otherwise covered physical, or something.
    I’ve also had a couple of doctors apologize to me for having to get used to some new computer system, and I could relate to that. Though I’d like to get more attention than the laptop.

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  12. Reddit always reminds me of Askmetafilter…. Am prob last person on planet to remember Askmefi.

    Also you are hysterical June. Sorry your doc is a maroon. Feel better.

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  13. Love Reddit. I no longer have enough time to read it. I fell asleep while reading that thread.

    Hey, didnt knowing you knew, but I take wellbutrin for my add. Might want to think about that!

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  14. Hi June and everyone. I’ve been binge watching “Rhoda” episodes on YouTube. I’ll have to try “That Girl.” I’ve watched ol’ Mary Tyler Moore, Golden Girls, every version of the Lucille Ball shows, and Bewitched into the ground via Directv. Maybe I should track down “The Odd Couple.”

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  15. Hi June and everyone. I’ve been binge watching “Rhoda” episodes on YouTube. I’ll have to try “That Girl.” I’ve watched ol’ Mary Tyler Moore, Golden Girls, every version of the Lucille Ball shows, and Bewitched into the ground via Directv. Maybe I should track down “The Odd Couple.”

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  16. Your mother has spoken.
    I have decided that laundry reproduces in the hamper. How can that much laundry just appear overnight?!
    Hope you are feeling better. I’m pretty sure doctors have quotas to meet with seeing patients, especially if they don’t own their practice.
    Tee

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  17. Geez. UTI’s Yes, I had one that went on and on and I took antibiotics – toooo many I thought so after almost a year I just quit and then some other issue popped up. I am so all done with doctors and their damned expensive tests. I went to a new (maybe) PCP on Friday and he interrupted my question with “I cannot answer questions when I have to put all of this stuff in the computer” So, now I wonder – must I return to ask my questions? This guy was absolutely zero on bedside manner… I am fed up. Like many of us….

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  18. Our mama always used her office voice to say hello and then switch to the “HEY GIRL!” voice after.

    Tomorrow starts the new Disney Plus streaming service. I signed up for it and am beside myself to see if they gave all the really old Disney movies and the Wonderful World of Disney Sunday night programming.

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  19. I think my doctor is doing the same thing to me. Last week he actually said he couldn’t fix the problem (he always has before) and that I’d have to come back. Loved That Girl, but it’s a little annoying now. There is an episode where she is backstage somewhere and she gives a shout out to her dad. She says to the stage door manager, “My dad’s a Shriner.” I always thought that was charming. Another good episode has Ethel Merman in it.

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  20. D-mannose supplement has helped me so much with resolving and preventing UTIs. You can get it cheap on amazon in powder or pill form. I know you hate advice but I wish someone had told me about it sooner.

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    • Yes! I take this faithfully, as I do not want to live with the UTI again. That feeling when you know it’s coming is just dreadful. I refused the antibiotic the last time (it only seems to just knock it back and not actually kill it off, and I always just end up with some other dreadful malady as a result) and used the over the counter stuff that makes you pee orange. Took tons of vitamin C, drank gallons of water, and started the d-mannose. Haven’t had a problem since.

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  21. There’s a funny meme rolling around that always makes me laugh –
    “I may be ghetto at heart, but my costumer service voice went to Harvard”
    At one of my first jobs out of college in the mid 90’s I worked as an assistant in a purchasing department and was constantly calling into this o-ring/gasket company in southern California to follow up on their late deliveries to our company. Their receptionist answered the phone with a very nasal-shrill, sing-songy voice that spoke in jammed together sentences & drew out the words, made me laugh out loud every single time ~ “WestAmericaannnRuuuuuubbberrrr, how many I help YOU!” I always imagined she was sitting at a Mad Men type desk, with her olive green type writer and black rotary phone, beehive hair, cat eye glasses on a necklace chain, smoking a cigarette. Whenever we were having a bad day, we’d dial her up on speaker phone just to hear her answer in that sing song and she never disappointed.
    Love your post, especially the little Jersey calves (grew up on a dairy, my grandma always reminded people – calves are babies, cows are mamas who milk) 🙂

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    • I had a co-worker that would answer the phone Training Braaannch (Branch) with a very slow, southern accent (but I don’t ha! ha!). My aunt called me one day and I answered the phone, her comment was, “where is Blanche?” I said, “who,” she said, “you know, the lady that always answers the phone.” I said, “her name is Kathy, why did you think her name was Blanche?” My aunt said, “she always answers the phone Training Branch.” She thought the co-worker was saying Blanche. From that point on we always called the co-worker Blanche, but never to her face.

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  22. There are many things I want to do but don’t because of the chance of children being present.
    Lovely post, Crocodile June.

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  23. I’m pretty sure doctors are going broke nowadays, so they need you to come in for more visits. That way they can bill more. I find it very frustrating.

    Cows are really cute. I can see why they help.

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  24. What is it about laundry that is so vexing? I live alone and I feel like I do almost as much laundry as I did when I had kids at home. There’s one millennial that I work with that is always complaining about her underwear problems because she can never get her laundry done.

    Luckily I have today off because I’m fighting a migraine. It started yesterday. I was on call for work and luckily didn’t get called in.

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  25. I admit to being unfamiliar with ‘That Girl’. I do remember calling shows by my own made up names. ‘A Family Affair’ was called the Buffy and Jody Show by my brothers and I.

    I love your dancing video and it makes me wonder if your fellow employees refuse to change jobs because they would not want to leave a place with such a fun co-worker. Does your work have a low turnover rate? If so, they should thank you.

    I made my kids clean their rooms on Friday before allowed to hang with friends and now my laundry room floor is piled HIGH with their ‘dirty laundry’. What the Hell? I WAS all caught up on laundry.

    I cannot believe the #of doc visits you had for that concussion. I am tired of doctors. Over the last month or so I have had a colonoscopy, 2 MRIs, a 2 hour appointment at the orthopedist, and now I messed up my knee and I am lying on the couch pissed off that I am missing my favorite workout class AND not wanting to climb the stairs to face that laundry!!!

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  26. Welcome to the world of under-eye dark circles. I’ve lived with them for fifty years and, yes, I should have purchased stock in dark-circle coverup companies.

    Somehow, I think That Girl wouldn’t translate well from my childhood. Ann Marie annoys.

    A ride in the countryside sounds lovely. Especially, when cows and ice cream are involved.

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  27. Love this post. But, seriously, if one round of drugs didn’t knock out the UTI, please, please don’t hesitate to go to the doctor again. UTIs move into sepsis so dang fast and, then, there’ll be real trouble. Oh, and our cat Toby ALWAYS inhales our clothing whenever we’ve been out. And if we’ve been around other animals boy, oh, boy, do we get the stink eye! Hope you feel better and a give Eds a pet from me. Love that boy.

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  28. No interest whatsoever in hearing the final words of those on the Challenger. I think I’d be ruined for the rest of my life. Cute cow, though.

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  29. Ooh, Reddit! I can spend hours on Reddit. I am continuously amazed at the variety of subReddits you can find.

    My dad worked for the Space Shuttle program, he knew the astronauts on board Challenger. But I don’t remember him ever talking about the undisclosed manner of death of the astronauts. He just never talked about it at all except to say how sad he was about it. Perhaps he kept his NDA to his death.

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  30. Lovely post, pretty June. Great weekend with the exception of the UTI. You’re lucky with Edsel – I went to a new mechanic whose 3 year old German Shepherd police dog program “reject” charged at me when I opened the door. Of course, I was on the floor having a conversation with the dog when the mechanic came around the counter to see if I actually needed something business related. When I came through our front door, oh, the look of scorn, judgment, sad eye accusations….makes me feel 2″ tall.

    There was a prominent newspaper who on the Valentine’s Day after 9/11 published the transcript link to the Pennsylvania flight crew’s messages to their families when they knew they weren’t going to make it. I know someone on the paper staff thought it was a loving idea on heart day but I canceled our subscription and have never read that paper again. I thought how horrible and what a slap in the face if some of those family members found that on Valentine’s Day. They were heartbreaking, too.

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  31. You have the groovy moves, Pet Mama June. I belong to a Facebook group called Forgotten 45s. It’s a lot of fun. My personal 45s disappeared and I have my eye on one person and if they do not turn up when the decluttering ends may they rot in hell.

    My friend came and took my too big for any retirement home I can buy vintage Ethan Allen solid cherry trestle table and six ladder back chairs. It was my late in-laws. Michael would be very pleased. I am getting a second hand pedestal table and four red chairs to replace it. My sisters are second hand furniture finding geniuses. Anyway my best friend brought me frozen birthday cake that I never had because I skipped Cape May grieving that rotten married man. I ate two and a half pieces of that delicious frozen poundcake. Would have been the third piece too but I gave that to the new guy I met on Facebook Dating. First date Friday, things are going great so far. He wants to punch the married one in the face. I won’t allow it but sweet that he wants to. I look forward to us running into each other at the movies. Do I tell his new date that he is married?

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    • And too, I have a bunch of annoying doctor appointments too. I got a small period after fifteen years of being done so that is reassuring. Calling the gyn this morning.

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  32. There was nothing wrong with your thinking That Girl was Bat Girl. You were pre-school when that was on TV. I think it was clever. Also, you know, I have this new-fangled thing on both my phones that tells me who’s calling; therefore, I have no reason to change my voice to impress someone. It’s just the way I say “hello”. Goodbye.

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  33. Ice cream and cows–a perfect combination. I hate UTIs.

    Wow. There was no transition between those thoughts in my head, was there? Anyway, I am still not feeling well, and watched a new Netflix show called “Atypical” this weekend while convalescing. Check it out–it is great!

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  34. I loved That Girl but despised ol Donald. Didn’t see any cute cows this weekend but my little dog Trixie is pretty cute.

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  35. Crap. I meant to comment on the Challenger, which is HORRIFYING and which I plan to Google later. I have no experience with Reddit. Is this something I need to learn? I have managed to avoid SnapChat.

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    • It’s essentially a giant internet bulletin board containing any and all topics of discussion you could imagine. If you went to the main page of Reddit right now, you’d see topics like: What book should a depressed person have to read, something about the Packers halftime show, and something about Hong Kong protesters. It reminds me a little bit of AOL bulletin boards (dating myself) although AOL had what they called “community standards” and on Reddit they are. . . more relaxed about that type of thing.

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      • AmIAnAsshole is my waiting room reading material: the author of the post submits for judgement and commenters vote. It’s an interesting mixture of genuine problems, tons of roommate dilemmas, traffic tales and some attention posts.

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        • On reddit, I like MomForAMinute where people go to ask for advice or feedback or even just a hug of all the Moms out there.

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  36. Donald Hollister was a pompous ASS. She could have done so much better. Also, there really is a Brewster, NY, where Ann Marie’s family lived. I’m mostly saying that for Fay, who didn’t believe there is really a Peekskill (Facts of Life) and then I further tortured her because there is also really a Riverdale. Fun Facts (sorry Beverly): My hated job at the bank was in Brewster, when I take the train to NYC I usually catch it in Peekskill and my grandparents lived in Riverdale. And you people thought I had no connection to TV whatsoever. Pfffft.

    Laura and Rob Petrie lived in New Rochelle. Also a real place. And don’t get me started on Mad Men.

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  37. I was gonna leave a whole thing here about how my ex’s third wife (yup)’s dad was the producer of That Girl but Google was failing me to confirm said rumor, so… there you go. My 6 Degrees of Separation are likely more than 6.

    Also – your mom’s phone answer voice is delightful! Does she do that to weed out scammers? Bc I’d totally do that.

    Also – your hair is getting so long! And also, why no photos of the ice cream? 🙂

    Great post, June!

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  38. My whole family tells me I have the phone answering voice too. And then when I hear it’s them I switch to regular. Or decaf. Whatever.

    So what if you spend a lot of time goofing off at work… do you just slide those goof off hours into a few different accounts?

    Batgirl – nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah… well you get the point!

    What a sweet face on that cow. They always have the prettiest eyes. Unless they’re crazy. Crazy cows got the crazy eyes.

    We got 6 inches of snow overnight. What the heck with this weather already? I feel like we might as well do Christmas and call it a year.

    Lovely post lovely June!

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  39. Am I first, I may be first!
    Looks like you had a fun weekend! I always think I have such great plans for the weekend, then I turn around and bupkis.

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