When I finally dragged my dead self out of bed today, I forgot I’d decorated for Christmas and I was all, Why’s it so fekkin’ cheery in here?
Hi. I’m back from my trip to Michigan. I caught a cold. I’m blaming planes.
Both trips, I had dramatic plane changes at major airports–Detroit and Chicago–where I had, like, 20 minutes to get off the first plane and onto a whole ‘nother concourse before boarding time.
On the way back, we were late leaving Michigan because we’d had to de-ice the goddamn wings, so when we arrived in Chicago I was pre-knife OJ Simpson. I had to run run run from Concourse C to Concourse F, which was appropriate given how many times I said the F word. I ran 86 miles, through that stupid tunnel with the light show, down hallways and past stores I’d have stopped in if I’d had time,
screamed over to my gate, where I was THE LAST PERSON TO BOARD, slammed self into seat and the plane took off. Thank heavens for my catlike reflexes getting me there on time.
So that was relaxing. And then to top things off I got a cold.
I know you have your Christmas version of June’s Big Book of Events, and perhaps you’ve already perused it with your entire family, but if you haven’t, this is the first cold I’ve had in a few years. I was very smug about not getting one last year at all. “Maybe I’ve had all the colds and I’m just done,” I thought. And then the sore throat set in.
Anyway, the part where I was in Michigan was pleasant.
Up yonder is my “uncle” Dale. I air quote him because he’s really married to my mother’s cousin, Big June, but he’s older than me so I think of him as an uncle.
Up yonder is Aunt Kathy. She’s actually my aunt and I have nothing air-quote-y to say about that. She gave me a pink Eiffel Tower luggage tag for Christmas and you can see I was an adult about waiting to open my Christmas gift.
Up yonder is–Dear June: Please stop saying up yonder.
Anyway, there’s my cousin Katie and Aunt Kathy and mom. I don’t know why I’m telling you this since you know already. My 13th anniversary of writing this blog is coming up in two weeks.
This is my cousin Katie’s husband, Jason. I’ve known him since he was in high school and as far as I know he’s always had round wire-rim glasses frames. I’ve never thought about that till just now.
Here’s my aunt with all her husbands.
And that is all. This photo of my stepfather and mom and my crooked bottom Edsel teeth is the end of the trip. Hey, it was just a 72-hour jaunt. Bookended by dramatic runs through an airport.
Oh! I forgot to mention that on the way there, I got on the plane in Detroit, that was going to take me to my hometown, and I heard, “June?” It was my friend MB, from college! She was on the same dang plane as me! I wanted to sit right next to her and hear every last thing, but she was near the front on the fancy-people part and I was in the back with the dregs. She waited for me when we deplaned and we got to talk briefly and I tried to tell my mother she was my new wife–SURPRISE!!–but mom didn’t fall for it.
Also, on the way back, I met a woman on the flight from Chicago to here. By the way, as I dramatically dashed onto the wing of that plane and climbed in through a window as it was taking off, it took me a while to calm down and look about me. “This plane is fabulous,” I announced to the woman next to me. Turns out, our plane was a month old. Oh, it was nice. It was like plane of the future. Except it was plane of last month. Say “plane” one more time.
The point is, the woman I met on the … plane … has a problem and I told her to come here for advice so look for her in the comments. I’m not sure she’ll remember to look here but she might.
Anyway, now I have to go back to work, and you know I hate to complain. But my ears ache and my throat has daggers in it and half the time my nose is concrete. If I hadn’t just taken, you know, a week off I’d call in sick today. I might just go get my laptop and work from here, so I don’t sicken everyone else. That would be the considerate thing to do, right?
I’ll talk at you tomorrow. IF I LIVE. Did anything interesting happen to anyone while I was gone?