A cold day in December

When I finally dragged my dead self out of bed today, I forgot I’d decorated for Christmas and I was all, Why’s it so fekkin’ cheery in here?

Hi. I’m back from my trip to Michigan. I caught a cold. I’m blaming planes.

Both trips, I had dramatic plane changes at major airports–Detroit and Chicago–where I had, like, 20 minutes to get off the first plane and onto a whole ‘nother concourse before boarding time.

On the way back, we were late leaving Michigan because we’d had to de-ice the goddamn wings, so when we arrived in Chicago I was pre-knife OJ Simpson. I had to run run run from Concourse C to Concourse F, which was appropriate given how many times I said the F word. I ran 86 miles, through that stupid tunnel with the light show, down hallways and past stores I’d have stopped in if I’d had time,

screamed over to my gate, where I was THE LAST PERSON TO BOARD, slammed self into seat and the plane took off. Thank heavens for my catlike reflexes getting me there on time.

So that was relaxing. And then to top things off I got a cold.

I know you have your Christmas version of June’s Big Book of Events, and perhaps you’ve already perused it with your entire family, but if you haven’t, this is the first cold I’ve had in a few years. I was very smug about not getting one last year at all. “Maybe I’ve had all the colds and I’m just done,” I thought. And then the sore throat set in.

Anyway, the part where I was in Michigan was pleasant.

Up yonder is my “uncle” Dale. I air quote him because he’s really married to my mother’s cousin, Big June, but he’s older than me so I think of him as an uncle.

Up yonder is Aunt Kathy. She’s actually my aunt and I have nothing air-quote-y to say about that. She gave me a pink Eiffel Tower luggage tag for Christmas and you can see I was an adult about waiting to open my Christmas gift.

Up yonder is–Dear June: Please stop saying up yonder.

Anyway, there’s my cousin Katie and Aunt Kathy and mom. I don’t know why I’m telling you this since you know already. My 13th anniversary of writing this blog is coming up in two weeks.

This is my cousin Katie’s husband, Jason. I’ve known him since he was in high school and as far as I know he’s always had round wire-rim glasses frames. I’ve never thought about that till just now.

Here’s my aunt with all her husbands.

And that is all. This photo of my stepfather and mom and my crooked bottom Edsel teeth is the end of the trip. Hey, it was just a 72-hour jaunt. Bookended by dramatic runs through an airport.

Oh! I forgot to mention that on the way there, I got on the plane in Detroit, that was going to take me to my hometown, and I heard, “June?” It was my friend MB, from college! She was on the same dang plane as me! I wanted to sit right next to her and hear every last thing, but she was near the front on the fancy-people part and I was in the back with the dregs. She waited for me when we deplaned and we got to talk briefly and I tried to tell my mother she was my new wife–SURPRISE!!–but mom didn’t fall for it.

Also, on the way back, I met a woman on the flight from Chicago to here. By the way, as I dramatically dashed onto the wing of that plane and climbed in through a window as it was taking off, it took me a while to calm down and look about me. “This plane is fabulous,” I announced to the woman next to me. Turns out, our plane was a month old. Oh, it was nice. It was like plane of the future. Except it was plane of last month. Say “plane” one more time.

The point is, the woman I met on the … plane … has a problem and I told her to come here for advice so look for her in the comments. I’m not sure she’ll remember to look here but she might.

Anyway, now I have to go back to work, and you know I hate to complain. But my ears ache and my throat has daggers in it and half the time my nose is concrete. If I hadn’t just taken, you know, a week off I’d call in sick today. I might just go get my laptop and work from here, so I don’t sicken everyone else. That would be the considerate thing to do, right?

I’ll talk at you tomorrow. IF I LIVE. Did anything interesting happen to anyone while I was gone?

Weakly,
June

58 thoughts on “A cold day in December

  1. It was Thanksgiving? Oh yes, for you Americans.
    We here in Canada had Thanksgiving a month ago.
    In my house, we did nothing special, ate nothing special, went to no one else’s home for turkey, and couldn’t care less!
    Kudos to those of you who go the extra mile to make a big meal for your loved ones. If it makes you hap-py, it can’t be that ba-a-a-ad! (as Sheryl Crow sings). I don’t do it anymore because I.Do.Not.Care.
    If invited to someone else’s home, I’ll take a dish to share and I’ll help with cleanup and dishes. But do it all at my house? Nope. Never again.
    -Kate

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  2. Well, if it’s okay with you I am going to comment again today on yesterday’s story.
    Cat-like reflexes…did you thank your PT (personal trainer) in your head?
    The fireplace looks festivally pink. Santa’s large or even small rump is not going to fit down the chimney.
    Hope ze cold is bettah?
    Glad your family gets together to feast , glad you got to go.
    Where were you when you caught a cold, I know, a plane, but what city and didn’t that plane have a no cold zone sign on it?
    Hopefully you will recover quickly I hate it when you feel sick.

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  3. Major drama. Was supposed to be with my new guy at my parent’s house. He cancelled, not once but twice, due to his grown children. Mainly his youngest daughter threw a fit. I was doubly heartbroken it being my first holidays without my dead husband. Thanksgiving was also M’s ten month deathaversary. I was a wreck. Cried for hours. Broke up with the boyfriend by text, he backed out by text. Cried in the car on the way to my parents. I was in as foul mood.
    The food was great. I was a hog with my mother’s wonderful homemade stuffing, I had three helpings of it. I also had turkey gravy, and her string beans, a piece of fancy apple tart I bought at our new Trader Joe’s. It’s half an hour North of here. It is fabulous. I had Aldi’s Vanilla Maple whipped cream on it. Later I had pumpkin pie from BJs with Pumpkin Whipped Cream also from Aldi’s. My boyfriend apologized profusely and we made up the next day. We went to the movies and saw A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood on Friday, we went to a concert Saturday night and we watched football on Sunday and I am very glad we are back together.
    Sorry you are sick, Joon. Hope it goes away soon. Air travel at holidays is the pits. Your place looks adorable as usual, very festive.

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  4. Sorry you’re sick. But wow, good on you for having time to travel home, be sick and still decorate cutely for Christmas. I adore your pink decor and that garland! We had a surprisingly tasty Thanksgiving buffet at a casino, then a home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner the next day. Then I spent some time Googling diet meal plans.

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  5. I got up early to finish cooking, and discovered that my turkey wouldn’t open its legs. I figured no big deal and putbit in the roaster after I stuffed it theough a hole about the size of a golf ball. Give hours later the damn timer still hasn’t popped up so I put it in the oven and within 45 minutes it popped up. I go to slice it and it’s still raw. So we had a turkeyless Thanksgiving . My husband insisted on keeping it in tge oven so he did for about 5 more hours. Then it was dry. Then we went shopping where we spent the next three days. My sister had the sleeve surgery on Tuesday and came and spent a few days here with me afterwards. Amazing how well she did, she didn’t miss a beat of all of tgat shopping but she couldn’t eat a damn thing. Sucks for her.
    Laughed my ass off at your aunt and all her husbands.
    Glad you are back, and colds suck.

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    • It is utterly ridiculous how long it takes for a turkey to thaw. This is the first year I didn’t have to finish thawing it in cool water before roasting it. I had a 24 lb. turkey and checked online for how long to thaw it in the refrigerator. It said 6 days and 6 hours. I gave it 7 full days and there were still chunks of ice inside the bird.

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  6. Hmmm well I turned S-I-X-T-Y. My daughters and one of their boyfriends and I decided to skip Thanksgiving and go out to a very good but expensive steak house in the old downtown area of a swanky university town. The expensive part kept the drunk frat boys away. I enjoyed a steak that I’d never buy for myself. Then on Thanksgiving Day, the oldest daughter came over and we went through boxes of stuff left over from her father’s death two years ago (my ex) and her grandmother, who has dementia. She was given all these miscellaneous boxes by her aunt, (my ex sister in law) who packed up leftovers of her brother and mother’s life) and kinda threw it at my daughter. Wow, we found things that were MINE from 1980 that her dad held I to. It was like discovering a time capsule. We ate pizza, drank hard cider, and sat in a chilly garage until 2:00am, ripping through boxes, sorting, bagging up trash, reading stuff…. laughing. Celebrating two lives….one deceased… the other alive but she can’t remember anything.

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  7. Thanksgiving was just me, the husband, Thing 1 and Thing 2. A smoked turkey from Costco (DELICIOUS!) with my famous (or infamous) potato casserole that is probably about 1,000 calories per serving, which is why they’re are known as “K-Cals” and roasted asparagus. Afterward, my offspring actually helped me clean up for a change. Of course, my passive-aggressive comment of “No, no. Don’t get up and help. You just sit and let ME do all the work!” might have got them off their asses.

    Friday morning, Thing 2 and I headed to Palm Springs to join my sisters and my mother and well, there was drama with our narcissist mom that will have long-term repercussions. But on a good note, I did a benefit walk for an animal shelter and won FOUR massive gift baskets in the raffle. And I bought 2 raffle tickets to win the St. Jude’s Dream Home. I’m feeling lucky!

    So far, no plague germs have hit me. Let’s hope it stays that way.

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  8. Moved to an area in Arizona last week that averages 13” of snow annually, we got 10” on Black Friday. Does that mean winter is almost over?!

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  9. Dear Joon,
    Anxious in Florida wants to know how you feel about flying? You seem so brave about the whole changing planes and de-icing stuff. Also the photo caption about you running through airport was exactly a Nancy Drew comment and I want to thank you for that. Also why Uncle Dale and mom so bundled up inside? Because Michigan? Love this post. Here is hoping you Nyquil all your worries away tonight.

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  10. I ate enough in one meal to take care of the whole day’s worth of eating which was basically my goal. So successful Thanksgiving over here.

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  11. You didn’t miss a ding dang thing.

    How satisfying it was to scrape the rest of the leftovers down the disposal last night.

    I looked at the calendar this morning and nearly hyperventilated to see how close we are to the Next Big Day.

    Sorry you’re sick – I, too, blame the plane.

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  12. Very collegiate of you to spend 72 hours at home. I remember those Thanksgiving visits from my daughter and it always seemed that the weather was crap for one way or the other.

    I had extra eating opportunities his year (guess I took up Paula’s slack) – a visiting nephew and family that hadn’t been seen for 10+ years so my own daughter asked me if I’d have them over so the two cousins could catch up. I don’t host T-day but I do cook some so it was all just extra. But fun.

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    • Sorry I am late here, but was traveling yesterday. Guessing no one will read this but here goes . . . Our teens’ car had all 4 tires slashed the day before Thanksgiving on OUR driveway. At 5:30 pm. Turkey day was great until my youngest started puking that night. She is the Irish dancer. We left the next day for Louisville Irish dance championships. Brought a bucket. She bounced back and Mini and I stayed healthy. Cheered on Curly who danced beautifully. She qualified for world champs in Dublin in April. Yeah and ouch (that is my budget talking).

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  13. Just kept on keeping on. What great pictures from your trip. I’m glad you made it, plane de-icing and all and rotten cold not withstanding. Everybody looked great. Your Christmas decorations are indeed merry.

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  14. We spent the week at the beach, just my husband and I. It was wonderful!
    Now I’ve got to de-pumpkin my house and put out the Christmas stuff.
    Sorry about the cold. But, your short trip looks like it was fun. Great pictures.

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  15. T-day best food: mashed potatoes with *both* cream cheese & sour cream. Delish as a leftover. Equally best was a pumpkin souffle w/pecans. Was not part of the regularly-scheduled desserts, but OMG, it was awesome! So nice to have an invite, as my only relative is my brother, who’s 900 miles away. Played Mexican Train dominoes, also fun.

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  16. We fixed a large traditional Thanksgiving dinner, ate lots of leftovers, made turkey soup, blew many, many leaves and decorated the tree.

    Glad you made it to Michigan and home again. Thanks to your personal trainer for your agile speed as you raced through the airports. jumping over luggage to make your flights. And congratulations on finding your new wife. My neighbor met her husband when they sat next to each other on a flight many years ago.

    Happy birthday to Tee today.

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  17. June! I was amazed when I saw the pic with your mom and Kathy – They look like twins. I never realized just how much they look alike! Wow.
    Everyone looks wonderful – you too of course! So happy you had a good time, even though that airport running is killer!
    My sister tells me that the flight attendants take “Airborne” on a regular basis to ward of “plane” colds. I know – too late! Hope you feel better soon!

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  18. Sorry you caught a plane cold, Joob. Working from home is a good option. I’m sure your co workers will appreciate it.
    Snots and prayers for a speedy recovery.
    You all look so pretty. The mens are cute too, especially uncle Leo. Still crushing on him.
    Starting day two of the Christmas decorating frenzy. It’s beginning to look a lot like a Hallmark movie in here.

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  19. SNOW DAY!! Actually an ice storm, but whatever, the bosses said I could stay home.

    So. Here’s what I did this weekend and let me know if I win the prize: Colonoscopy and prep related thereto. Why? Because I’m anal (pun intended) and did not want to tell my bosses why I needed two days off (one to poop, one to scope). So I scheduled the procedure for Friday, which means that on Thanksgiving, while the house was filled with delicious aromas, I was Not Eating and then wondering when the liquid dynamite would kick in. (Answer: soon and urgently.)

    (I’ll spare you the details even though June loves a good poop story, one of which involves my shoes.)

    Long story short (TOO LATE), I have selfies of my colon, no medical issues and I lost a few pounds. Happy Poopsgiving to me.

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  20. Hermits here at Casa de Hermitage. Filets mignon (filet mignons?) on Thursday. Snot in my world and ima kill That Man if he doesn’t quit coughing. Also, my dad died two weeks ago, so I’ve been Death Cleaning. Paula, is that a thing?

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  21. Yes, the nice thing to do is work from home today. Sweet Iris under all the decorations. We drove to the foothills of the mountains to be with my brother, SIL and their daughter and her family. Best part was holding the new baby, then I cleaned up the kitchen. Now I have dishpan hands. So glad you had a good trip to Michigan. Hope you feel better.
    Tee

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  22. A somewhat spirited, as in they’d been consuming the spirits, family member cornered me and spilled decades old awful secrets out. Now what? Of course they said they don’t want to tell all to a therapist, so why tell me?

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