I know I never write you on Sunday, but once Christmas was over, I kept thinking it was the weekend so I didn’t write and about 3 p.m. each weekday after Christmas I’d think, ding dang it, I forgot to blog because I thought it was the weekend and the next day I’d do it again and I don’t know why I’ve become Faulkner today with the sentence that won’t end.
So I thought I’d better write today, which I think is Sunday, and I really hate Christmas and how it throws you off and also because of this…
Thank god it’s telling me where an ATM is near me so I can withdraw that 62 cents. I get paid tomorrow. And I have food out my ass. I’m good. I made brownies yesterday and forgot I made them and woke up this morning and was all, What’s this and IT WAS BROWNIES and while that was good I don’t like this time of year did I mention Love, Faulkner.
Anyway, hi. It’s that week between Christmas and the new year, did I mention? How’s everyone been? Here’s what I’ve been up to other than being disoriented.
My therapist recommended a book. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Also, I worked on Monday, which is the day I saw my therapist, who recommended a book to face my stress, pain and illness, and in the meantime, I had no work to do at work. None. There were like four people in the office and apparently they produced nothing that needed copy editing. So I looked at stuff online a lot and did you know rich people are now buying dinosaur bones to keep at home, not in museums?
Rich people piss me off. That said, would love a peacock. Do you think I can get one for whatever 99 cents plus 62 cents is?
Anyway, work shut down at 3:00, and someone finally sent me work to do at 24 minutes to 3:00. I am not making that up.
Then I went home and waited for Christmas. Because I love it so.
My Christmas Eve plans got canceled due to illness, which was perfect for me because I got the joy of being invited somewhere and the pleasure of not having to go anywhere. But I got in my car and drove through the ball light neighborhood. For blocks, people in this neighborhood make these chicken wire balls covered in lights, and hang them wayyyyy up in their trees and the effect is amazing.
I drag all guests to that neighborhood in December. It’s my favorite in all of Greensboro even when there AREN’T lights.
Finally, after an evening of no creatures stirring or even shaking…
it was effing Christmas.
I got many things I liked, from a combination of my mother and my aunt, who probably get annoyed that it’s an extravaganza and I usually can’t remember who gave me which thing after.
After opening my gifts and getting 495385030530 texts (why is that the thing now? Why the Merry Christmas text?), I got dressed
and headed to Aunt Chris and Uncle Lilly’s. Once I had one of my dogs accidentally calling them that, in a blog post from aught nine or something, and I have never gotten over it.
Aunt C and Uncle L left no Xmas stone unturned. They had four trees, each with its own theme.
Then I forced everyone to go look at animals with me.
Those “hurrrrr” jokes never get old. That’s the beauty of them. The Black Beauty.
A few months ago, a pig just wandered onto C & L’s place, and why does stuff like this not happen to me, puppy in a shoebox on my front seat notwithstanding? Anyway I was dying to meet their new pig and oh my god he is so charming.
He was kind of shy with me, because he didn’t know if I was there with toast, lettuce and tomato. But oh, he let me pet him and he snorted and I want a pig so bad, I do.
Then we had dinner, which was delicious, and for dessert Chris made a buche de Noel, as you do, with MERINGUE MUSHROOMS.
We need to admire it from all angles.
So, as Christmases go, it was a good one.
Then the days all melded and I went out and did stuff and stayed in and cleaned and oh! Faithful Reader Paula sent me some of my old romance magazines and I’ve been lying about sipping coffee and reading those, just like my gramma used to do. I just need a leather case to hold my Benson & Hedges.
At some point in what feels like an endless weekend, I went to a store here called Replacements. It has all the old china patterns and also other doodads including estate jewelry and OH MY GOD I love it there.
Now it’s Sunday, right? Isn’t it? Oh my god. So tomorrow I sort of go back to normal, except New Year’s Day is in the middle and everything will confuse me again, and GIVE ME NEXT WEEK ALREADY.
June in December