I made a stupid goal for myself last year and I pretty much met it.
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. The very next day…
Last Christmas, Christmas of 2018, Chris and Lilly gave me a bunch of fancy soaps. In early spring of 2019, I was running low on them, but then someone put two wrapped, fancy soaps on the anyone-can-take-it table at work.
I took them. I was the anyone who took them.
“I wonder if I can go all year without ever having to buy soap,” I wondered then, because these are the deep thoughts that run through my head.
And do you know I did it? My mother sent me soap for my birthday. I stole soap from hotels that I’d already opened and used, so it wasn’t really stealing. That’s what I tell myself, as I have no moral compass. Anyway, somehow, I managed to go all year without buying soap.
Except for one screwup.
Do you remember when I went to the beach with Lottie Blanco and all of her friends? I don’t know if you’ve ever rented a beach house, but first of all, you could fly to Paris for what it costs to get a beach house for one week at peak season here. Also, they provide you with nothing. Nothing.
You gotta remember sheets. Towels. Pillows. And?
It was the one thing I forgot to take with me, so I had to go to the dollar store at the beach and buy one bar of Palmolive bar soap for, you know, a dollar. I’d say spending one dollar on soap all year is pretty good. It practically makes me French.
So let’s all set a dumb goal this year. Something fun and achievable. I don’t know what mine is yet; I was just making up this post as I went along. Let’s see if we can go all year without buying more flour, or without ever paying a toll on the road, or something equally dumb.
Let me know your thoughts.
P.S. Chris and Lilly gave me more soap this year. I opened a bar of sugarpear and winterberry this morning, and I have no idea of either of those are really things, but it smells delicious.