You know how sometimes I can be scattered? Yeah.

Occasionally, in the morning, after that initial very important trip outside to pee, Edsel likes to go out a second time, after breakfast, to take a leisurely sniff of the perimeter. He trots all around, snouting the things, to inform himself of what happened while he was sleeping. I figure what happens is nothing, but there is wilderness behind us so maybe the occasional possum occurs or what have you.

Anyway, he’s out there doing that right now, even though my Google machine told me that with the wind it feels like 13 degrees. He’s out there naked, unless you count his collar which can’t be doing much, sniffing the perimeter like it’s fun.

While I was waiting for the coffee to cook and Eds was out freezing his nethers just in case he caught Footnote du Possum, I noticed the light of my cool plate window reflected on the wall.

I also meant to photograph Milhous looking pretty on the table, but instead captured Milhous tormenting poor Iris, who never wants any trouble.

He’s such an ass. Also, can anyone else see that he has a cat head in his fur? I asked that when he was a kitten and everyone was all, no. Y’all still don’t see that cat head? Over there in his swirls.

Anyway, other than my pets being amusing today, the other news is (and brace yourselves) I have a cold. I know you’re paging backward in your Big Book of June Events. “Didn’t she just HAVE a cold in December?” and YES. The answer is yes. I went two winters with no colds, and now I have to have two colds in one winter. Goddammit.

Yesterday I was in the sore throat phase and today it’s The Sore Throat Continues with special guest star Itchy Ears, feat. Slightly Sniffy.

I hope this won’t ruin my biopsy.

Oooo, speaking of things being ruined, last night I was watching Grace & Frankie–did you know a new season is out? God, I love that show. Lily Tomlin is the best. Anyway, I was right in the middle of that one episode where Bud acts like a nervous lunatic when

BOOM.

All the lights went out. And I’ll tell you what. If anyone bursts in here to murder me one day, I’ll be murdered right up, because my first reaction to any shocking thing is to just go blank for a moment.

Like, when I got rear-ended last summer. I sat there blank for a good 30 seconds. Then I got on the phone and started making what I thought were very efficient phone calls canceling things, when in fact I’d lost sight of what day it was and was canceling things I didn’t yet have to.

Anyway, that was me last night. I knew what day it was, witty cooper. But I drew a blank. I sat in the dark the way my mother’s Beagle used to do if you threw a towel on her head. “well. dis it. dis goldie lyfe now. she sit in darks.”

Beagles aren’t that smart. I tell you this as someone who had a Pit/Beagle mix. Remember the treat in the can story? (That old blog post contains a photo of me looking just awful. You know when you guys say, “You look better now, June”? I think, God, I know.)

Good lord, how did I get all the way over here? What I meant to say is that all the power went out last night, and I drew a blank. But instead we got into car accidents from aught 19 and Beagles and cans and my Real Housefrau of Greensboro look I had going 10 years ago.

So, the power went out last night.

After I sat blankly for my requisite 30 seconds, I stampeded to my police scanner app just like I was my gramma. The nice gramma. Not the gramma I turned into. The nice gramma had a big ol’ hefty police radio she kept on often. She would creep to her window to peek out if anything happened on her street, lit Benson & Hedges dangerously close to the gauzy gold-nylon curtains.

Almost immediately last night I was rewarded with police discussion about how all the houses in my little hood were out of lights. “Transformer is out,” one of them said, and I felt better about it being everyone and not just me. Like I wasn’t about to be on Hart to Hart, when someone cuts the power so they can murder someone in a mansion. I wasn’t going to be Miss Gardens in the Living Room with the Blank Look.

Then my police radio said it was a car accident. Like, maybe a car drove into the transformer? If I really think about it, I don’t actually know what a transformer is.

Speaking of which—and I guess we’re going for a potpourri of topics today at ramble of June—yesterday as the workday drew to a close, The Poet said to me, “The sun is setting later now. At this time of night, the sun used to shine right in my face, and now it’s not.”

I smiled thinly and pulled my chair up so I could lean in and look extra smug.

“You know, Poet,” I began, “the Earth rotates. And…”

And right then I knew. I didn’t really know why the sun was at a different angle. Like, did we rotate, or did the sun rotate, or was there something to do with an axis or the Axl Rose or something?

“This would have sounded a lot more condescending had I known the actual facts of why the sun’s in a different place,” I told her. Then I went meekly back to my work.

Back when we worked in the basement—I’m sorry, The Garden Level—there was a time of day we had to pull the blinds, and my boss, fmr., used to play this very grand royal-procession-sounding music during Pulling of the Blinds time. Those were the salad days at that place.

I’m not good with the science facts. Like, the sky is blue because something reflected on something? Or something? Oh my god, I have no idea. I blame Barry Gibb, which is where my head was during all science learning.

Anyway, I have to go, and I know you wish I’d have touched on more topics today but I did not and there it is.

Precisely,
June

31 Comments

  1. I’ve never liked science much, but there’s this radio/podcast called Quirks and Quarks that is superduperdelooper. I listen to it on the regular and who knew science topics can be fascinating?! See cbc.ca/quirks and see if you too don’t become a science nerd. A cool nerd, that is. -Kate

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  2. Photos,yes. Gladys makes a good point, looks like a good place to land for a bit. Cat head, yes. Tablecloth pretty.
    Plate shadow, neat. Kitty mayhem.

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  3. Is it me or does it look really peaceful and inviting in June-land. I’m sure she sees it differently what with the animals animalling and the eating and the working. Just know that from out here June-land is someplace I would like to come sit a while.

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  4. To all beagles defenses, we have a beagle here in Greenville who has been trained to sniff out the C Dif bacteria on surfaces and it goes to our hospital weekly and every time it had given the “Alert” that it found some, he’s been right every time. That stuff is so bad, bless that little dog!

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  5. P.S. I see Mil’s cat head. He’s beautiful, but needs to leave Iris alone. Poor baby.

    I’m really sorry you are unwell.

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  6. Love this post, being all over the place, that’s exactly how my brain works, it’s easy to follow the conversation.

    I think the transformer is the gray barrel looking thingy at the top of the power pole and if it goes BOOM you are always in the dark. Mostly, this happens when a squirrel runs across something around the barrel thing and causes a breaker to trip and the big boom. The squirrel never survives.

    I’m so glad the days are getting longer!

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  7. My sympathies about your cold. I’ve had two already this winter, also.
    I’m currently in phase TB patient (feeling sub-par and looking wan, with intermittent bouts of coughing into a hanky)

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        1. I was driving in the car yesterday and heard that on the radio. I said out loud “Great, that person just HAD to go the China and return back here. Just great.” “Just like all those people in the US who kept going over to Liberia and bringing back the Ebola.”

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      1. I THINK I see the cathead, but not sure if it’s what everyone else is seeing as said cathead.

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  8. All of that right there is just what I needed this morning. I followed you perfectly, probably because I too am in the itchy ear cold zone. Thank you for the happy distraction.

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  9. I love this post three thousand (Avengers Endgame reference). Footnote du Possum. Real Hausfrau of Greensboro. I blame Barry Gibb. Lit Benson and Hedges dangerously close… Your mind is a magnificent thing, June.

    I’ve had this “cold” for going on 3 weeks, it ebbs and flows and I just alternate between hacking like a smoker, unclogging my sinuses and sleeping. Godspeed, June’s cold. Godspeed.

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  10. When my lights go out, it’s always irritating to see the houses across the street all lit up. Guess we’re on two different transformers? I’m also in the bad-at-math club. In high school I thought I was finally “getting” algebra, but I got a big fat F. My only F ever. Enjoyed the morning animals show.

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  11. Hart to Hart- yes! Remember fondly watching that while babysitting. I get the zone out too. In certain classes. Now my kids refer to something and I have to ACT educated by fumbling around- because I don’t remember all thst drivel.

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  12. Our beagle Maggie was incredibly loyal but dumb as a box of rocks at times. I particularly enjoyed her shit rolls in the yard at 10:45 PM when I had to bathe her crying from exhaustion. She was the only beagle for good reasons.
    I never cared from transformers until Super Storm Sandy made the ones located near here blow out and send blue lights up in the sky. My dogless neighbors were outside saying how cool it was and I was letting my dogs out and clapping my hands, saying, “Hurry up potties! ” because the wind was insane and that light frightened the hell out of me. OY!

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  13. I can tell you what a transformer is. It’s a big electrical thing that sits at the top of a pole and blows up occasionally.

    Also, the window light is beautiful. And you know how I feel about Barry Gibb already.

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  14. I know EXACTLY what you mean by the science zone-out. When I was in school, any time a teacher said, “now it’s time for math,” my brain would exit my head and take a walk around the neighborhood until math was over. Therefore, when it’s time to figure out the tip at a restaurant or work out 6 x 7, I get to stand there like a deer in the headlights and shrug my shoulders. I call that my salute to math.

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    1. Linda, I am also part of Team Bad at Math. It never made sense to me at all. My father even hired a grad student to tutor me. Yes, my grades went up, and no, I didn’t like it any better. Told Mrs. Hansen, 11th grade Algebra Part One, that ‘I would never need to use this ever again in my life’ And, it’s true!

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  15. We both rotate and tilt. Hence the changes in sunrise and sunset times. We are actually closer to the sun in winter here in the northern hemisphere. I’ll explain the blue sky in my next TED talk. (Mom of 5. We have to know these answers. And this goes back to the days when we had to LOOK THEM UP in an ENCYCLOPEDIA.)

    Lovely post June!

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  16. Lovely post Coot.

    Come for the kitten head stay for the science.

    I am sorry you have a cold. Could Paula or Tee pull out the Big Book of June and tell me what color ribbon I am supposed to wear?

    Also and too I used to know all that sciencey stuff and then mental pause

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  17. I love the rambling posts. Also, too, the plate window. And the kitties, Eds and any mention of the pittie-beagle mix.

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