I loved everyone’s family stories from the other day. I took yesterday off from writing just so everyone would have a chance to read and tell them all without distraction. And we did, indeed, get more yesterday.
I’ve hurt my index finger and had to put one of my cowgirl band-aids on it, so now I’m typing funny and I want you to appreciate the sacrifices I make for this family. [raps wooden spoon against pot dramatically]
I’ve really got nothing exciting to tell you, actually. They switched timekeeping systems at work and all day it’s, “Can you do this?”
“No, not yet.”
“Have you figured out how to enter…?”
“No, not yet.”
So that’s relaxing. Do you know it’s coming up on 9 years I’ve been there? Remember when I started there? Oooo, this is a good topic: Tell me what I was doing when you first started reading me. Was I married to Marvin? Was I married to the mob? Was I a swinging single dating Dick Whitman? Was it last week and you have no idea who these people are?
That’ll be fun. That’ll be fun for the whole family.
I’m writing this to you, by the way, plunged in darkness. We’re having heavy rains today and while I have the blinds open, it’s still dark AF in here. I guess I could get up and turn on a lamp but who wants to make that sort of long-term commitment? I keep thinking I’ll get up in a minute and get dressed.
And then I keep talking anyway, here in the dark, with the rain pattering on my awnings. I have these old white 1940s awnings on my house and they are my favorite part. I’m so glad no one saw fit to take them off.
I looked in my Photos app for pictures of my house, entering, wait for it, “house” in the search bar, and the very first photo was of me topless. I wish I had any explanation for you. Anyway, here are my awnings, not m’boobs. I am behind that smaller window to the right right now. See me waving, a year and four months later?
This photo also appeared under the category of “house” and it makes a heap of sense.
So did this. I feel like this app isn’t working properly. Let’s try another word.
Look! That actually makes sense! I loved that phone case. Do you buy many ridic phone cases, use them for awhile, then buy other ridic phone cases? Is that just me?
Also falling under the category of bunny …
Okay, one more and then I’ll go, for real. “Pop.”
Ohmygod, this was on my birthday in like 2014 or so. BRF Alex, Griff, and baby Ryan at the food truck for lunch.
Stalking my mother at the movies, circa 2015.
Well, that was interesting for no one but me. But now I can go and you can tell me what I was up to when you joined us, creeping into the room and finding a folding chair in the back.
Type at you tomorrow, with my bandaged finger. Lord knows I give and I give [wipes hands on apron dramatically].
[Signs off dramatically]