Chairing this meeting

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away—which isn’t it all true—but also my computer told me I had yet another ding-dongle update to make. So I made it, because I am a rule-follower. It turns out it was one of those major King Kamehameha take-forever updates and I could never write you.

Now it’s the next morning, and I let the dog out and in and fed all three cats their individual snowflake food (Iris: I’m-sick food; Lily: I’m-fat food, Mil: Just fuckin’ feed me food) and gave the dog his heart medicine and senior old man look at my life food and gave everyone new water and made coffee for myself and was so delighted to get in here and start blogging at you and guess what. I had to sign fucking in to my computer and then it told me, “In about 10 more minutes you can use this!”

Goddammit.

So now I am in my chair, not that I’m not always in one, speaking into my phone like a crazy person, and glaring at my computer that won’t update. How do you like the picture of the flowers that my neighbor drew?

A few weeks ago, my other neighbor, A, came over with her girlfriend. Naturally, because we have exactly the same millhouse except A’s actually knocking down walls and exposing brick, I showed them each room in my “I’m afraid to knock down walls” house. A’s girlfriend is the first person to notice that this room is dog–themed.

So that was exciting, to finally be understood.

Oh my god, my computer is telling me to agree to god knows what and then it’ll be ready! But now now Iris is on me and I feel bad getting up.

Now that I’ve complained about not being able to blog, it occurs to me that I have no idea what’s new or what I can tell you. I went to the movies a lot this weekend to get all caught up for the Academy Awards. But who cares about that? I looked in my phone to see what pictures I took this weekend and this cat action is what I found. Poor beleaguered Lily.

My Aunt Mary sent me a Valentine this weekend, as she always does every year.

Milhous knocked it down.

Why do I have all these cats?

Today I have my pre-op appointment for my surgery. I can only hope the doctor says something new to scare me, as seems to be her wont each time we meet. Maybe we can biopsy my cervix again! That was fun and I’d love to revisit.

Next week, my mother and stepfather will arrive to cater to my every need. I also wrote to some of my friends (Lilly, Kit, Marty Martin and also Kayeeee) to ask if they could be my backup help should I need it in the next few weeks. They all said no. FUCK no.

That’s not true. Everyone was happy to help, and that’s because they don’t know Ima be asking for bikini waxes and interpretive dances to get my mind off things.

I’d better go. I have to shower for my doctor’s appointment, and first I have to get Milhous out of the shower because he and Edsel were wrestling but Eds took it too far, so Mil hid in the tub, which Edsel knows is happening but he can’t quite figure out that whole challenging “There be a showir curtin in way” conundrum. The other day he managed to get his head between the curtain and liner, but saw his wagging tail under the curtain and thought it was someone else and bit it and upset himself so once again jumping in the tub is Mil’s ultimate hiding place.

I realize he has a lot of German shepherd in him, but it’s diluted by some other kind of dunce-y dog. He’s like German shepherd/Forrest Gump mix.

Okay, talk to you tomorrow. Unless my computer makes a very necessary update.

Meaningfully,
June

29 thoughts on “Chairing this meeting

  1. German Shepherd/Forrest Gump mix! Flump. Poor Edz, he gets no respect. Be nice to the elderly dog. I hope you pre-op appointment goes well. So glad your mom and step-dad are coming to be with you. Insist on a bell to ring when you need/want something. I KNOW your caregiver will just love that.
    Tee

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  2. Eds biting his own tail and scaring himself reminds me of the lion in Wizard of Oz. And speaking of Judy Garland, I was happy that Renee Z won the Oscar.

    Good luck with your pre-op, op and post-op.

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  3. Did you ever decide what you were going to do during your recovery time? In addition to ringing a little bell for service whilst you are an invalid? Milhous has a pretty tummy.

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    1. I haven’t yet. You know what I’d like to do? Is order really old Cosmopolitan, Seventeen and Glamor magazines, like from the ’70s, and read them all cover to cover. Productive AND useful.

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  4. Can you please indulge me if I offer one piece of post surgery advice? A friend of mine who is a nurse passed it on to me before I had a laproscopic hysterectomy a few years ago.

    When you are moving from flat to sitting or from sitting to standing, hold a pillow against your abdomen and hug it as you move. It takes the pressure off of your body and puts it in the pillow. Sounds weird but it makes it a lot easier to change positions.

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  5. Oh my gosh—the Edsel versus shower curtain story is fantastic.

    I hope your mom and stepdad and friends remember they are there for your entertainment and don’t go sit in another room and talk and laugh without you.

    I realize that sounds specific. My son got his wisdom teeth out last month and he was on the couch. We were 6 feet away at the table and he kept crying and saying “you keep laughing without me!”

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  6. Here I am commenting early in the morning! I’m training myself to get up earlier and enjoy the mornings. Thank God you are further east and already up and posting or I would never bother.

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  7. Look at those splayed cat ears in the 3 amigos picture. We call those “helicopter ears”.

    Lovely post, June. Pre-biopsy appointments, biopsy appointments, post-biopsy appointments, pre-surgery appointments, surgery appointments, post-surgery appointments. MAKE IT STOP! Leave a woman the **c* alone!

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  8. OH MY GOD . Our national nightmare IS OVER.

    I’m dying over the thought of Marty Martin being asked to do the bikini wax. ” A friend in need is a friend in deed!”

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  9. I love the artwork from your neighbour, the dog themed office, Aunt Mary’s Valentine and earrings, the cat photos and Edz semi Psycho scene.
    Good luck with your appointment.

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  10. I wonder if there is something you can say to scare the doc, ?
    Edsel…come here baby, I will pet your sillyness,pretty boy.

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  11. Good morning, I felt like Edsel when he bit his own tail, as I was poking on the Comments button and couldn’t get it to work. Great post June!

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  12. I love the picture of the 2 cats with Edsel in the background. Those are my favorite types of pictures, ones that capture the pets and the house at the same time. It is so nice to look at them later and see them and the house the way it was at that moment in time and it makes me so happy.

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