I woke up at 3:30 this morning, thirsty as all get-out. Not for attention, but thanks for that funny funny joke. For water. And if you can’t find anything to be grateful about today, be thankful you can roll out of bed with relative ease and make your way to the nearest water source. Oh my gorsh, as my 9th-grade drama teacher would have said.
It seems funny that I had to be taught drama, really.
Anyway I struggled like a turtle on its back and finally I got up and hunch hunch hunched like a T-rex to the kitchen.
I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but I had surgery this week. Antelopes in lion-heavy deserts have less trouble getting to water than I do RN.
I noticed Edsel had followed me to the kitchen, probably thinking, god mom, move azz. speed it up. who you be, mrs. wigguns?
“Do you need to go outside?” I asked him. As soon as I said that, from out of the bowels of the house, Milhous came BOUNDING out, ran UNDER Edsel’s legs and slid to a halt at the back door like Tom Cruise in Risky Business.
And right then I knew Milhous knows that sentence.
By the way, he also knows, “No,” which is what I told him about wanting to prance around in the snow at 3:30 at night.
It snowed here.
You can see it was pretty severe. Yet I still didn’t want this orange beast out in it at night.
If you have any NC friends other than me, you already know it snowed here, as we are somehow compelled to photograph our annual snow and excitedly Instagram it to those of you in, say, Ohio, who are in month four of living in an igloo.
Are igloos really a thing or is that another racist Warner Bros. cartoon idea? Do you think all the Warner Bros. cartoonists were bros who got drinks after work and so on? Do you think saying they were animators got them the ladies?
These are the thoughts you can entertain when you’re lying about tryina recover.
You know what I might do? Get out of of my huge books or book series and reread it. What say you?
Meanwhile, I’m out of coffee and Pam isn’t here yet to order around, so Ima have to remove the cats (orange and blind) and mince out to the kitchen. That’ll be a relaxing 15 minutes. Pam and my stepfather are at a hotel. They are allergic to cats. Plus I have the one bed and all. They said my house is bigger once you’re here. People also note Edsel is smaller when they meet him. He’s really more of a medium dog, although he’s never given me a message from beyond, ever.
Okay, here I go to the kitchen to feed my addiction.