Redecorate the millhouse, volume one

I’ve gone into my yard in my robe so many times now that I figure the neighbors think I’m now a professional The Dude impersonator.

Speaking of my yard, it’s starting to bloom. It’s Judy Blume. Are you there, God?

Today
Two weeks ago

Hard to believe, after that great storm.

Here, I took more pictures of things blooming in my yard today, whilst be-robed. Yeah, well. That’s just, like, you know, your opinion, man.

I see I have to clean that door. EDSEL.

Also my neighbor, R, was here and as she walked past my flower bed in the front, she said, “Our day lilies are gonna be great, I think!”

I had completely forgotten that last year, a site near us was being reconstructed thanks to all the gentrification assholes who moved in here.

…Oh.

Anyway, they’d dug up a bunch of dirt, INCLUDING very old day lilies. They were just lying there dying in a flatbed thing, so R and I took them, divided them between us, and planted them in our respective yards. It was summer and hot AF. I totally forgot we’d done that.

This is like when I buy post-Xmas things on sale and am delighted to discover them the next year.

Anyway, I was all, Oh, YEAH! I have day lilies! And they’re a pretty yellow, not that horrific orange. Their little sprouts are just peeping up.

So that’s exciting, and I do so like spring here even though it renders me hoarse due to pollen.

In other news, my trainer came by yesterday as well. I had a whole day of socializing, if by “socializing” you mean I went to the doctor. I’m now officially old. Going to the doctor is how I go out. But I mean, I also had visitors galore. BTW, doctor says I’m healing well other than I need to be taking the ibuprofen, which I haven’t, and that is why if I walk around too much I get nauseated.

She said I am downplaying the pain and need to keep ahead of it. I liked this, because it’s the only time anyone has ever insinuated I’m stoic. I think it’s just because I have an extremely high threshold for pain.

You know, I joke when I say that, but do you recall the migraine study I was in where they purposely inflicted pain on us, then for 10 weeks I learned how to manage pain, allegedly (I think I was in the control group, actually) (story of my life)? They’d inflict the pain and you’d tell them to stop when it got to be too much. I had this done a few times and I recall them saying, “Wow!” when I’d finally say, okay stop, that’s enough. I was dying to know what Wow meant. Am I super butch?

Anyway. My trainer made me soup that was unhealthy, and also she made cookies that were unhealthy and they were

BOTH FEKKING DELICIOUS.

The kind of delicious where I kept eating more, standing in my kitchen, when what I meant to do was put everything away. Her son, who is my people, also loves that soup and said, “It will make a turd.”

Once I was at her house, doing the training, and as I pulled up he and his equally ridic high school friends were bringing giant pieces of wood into the house. My trainer is one of those clean people, you know what I mean? And she was all, “I do not want a mess. I do not want this wood in my house.” They assured her it was temporary and headed upstairs. Her training area is the garage, and it’s a townhouse, so the kitchen is upstairs.

Moments later WE HEARD SAWING and she was all, “I am so sorry” and SCREAMED upstairs.

He’d turned on a sawing video on YouTube to just get her goat, and that is when I began to realize he was my people.

“Do not tell anyone your trainer brought you such unhealthy things,” she said, and I assured her I am a vault. Also, just to be hilarious, she chose this bag to bring the food:

This is the bag that held the ashes of her dog, fmr., Otis. She knew I’d appreciate the absurdity of this.

Anyway, NONE of this is why I’ve gathered you today. Today I thought we’d start our series, Redecorate the Millhouse. I told you I have things I’d like to change here, and ask me if I have the money. Still, I want to get ideas and then, you know, save up or get a sugar daddy or what have you.

I feel like at my age I can’t get a sugar daddy but maybe a Karo grandpa.

Okay, first millhouse issue: The window treatments. (I’m all of a sudden a fey decorator. Next I’ll say tablescape.)

Is it possible for me to take a photo of my house WITHOUT an animal in it?

Anyway, the people who owned this house were much classier than me. So anything they left behind is “good.” These blinds are wooden, and in good shape. They also left up really nice heavy beige drapes, which I gave to my neighbor who can’t afford new drapes.

Anyway, these aren’t bad, but I’m more of a scalloped blinds (and potatoes) gal, which I’ve had at several houses.

I also think really airy lace curtains would be lovely. But am I turning into Tweety Bird’s mother? Is this all too old?

Also, is everything too white? White walls, white WINDOW TREATMENTS?

This is where I seek the help of you, the reader, during this, my convalescence.

Remember, not only do you not have to use a name or email to comment, you also can leave just one link per comment, or else WordPress thinks you’re spam.

Thanks!

Make a turd,
June

63 thoughts on “Redecorate the millhouse, volume one

  1. I am tardy to the party but couldn’t leave without complimenting this fine piece of work. Karo grandpa and Tweety bird’s mother had me ROLLING!

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  2. Red Collection-both of them-have some killer curtains. I’d check them out-nice patterns and decent prices. I think the Mill St one has more .

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  3. Hi June,

    I have no advice. But I do love how you have sleeping (or formerly sleeping) animals in your photos. Adorable.

    Lovely post, lovely June!

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  4. My vote is to paint the walls a light shade, there are lighter shades other than white that can still make the room feel large. Keep the blinds (especially if they are real wood), and then if you want more after painting, add sheers, no lace, your gut is right, too old lady.

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  5. Since those are real wood blinds, I’d keep them. You have tons of light, so maximize that! Sheers, not lace (even though cute), and hang them wide and high. Get glass knobs for the finials. Maybe you can find white sheers with a subtle pattern, like a swirl or paisley, or even a stripe. Just saw these on the Pottery Barn website, and all their sheers are on sale. These have smocking on the top, which is cute.

    https://www.potterybarn.com/products/smocked-organic-drape-white/?pkey=ccurtains-drapes&isx=0.0.921.2999877929688

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  6. Ima go out on a limb here and suggest painting your walls a very, very light blush color (Benjamin Moore Warm Blush is gorgeous). Leave your trim white. Keep your blinds and hang white sheers or look for white with a faint green/pink pattern. Add some gray pillows to your sofa and fabulous raspberry chair.

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  7. Karo Grandpa! My grandpa loved dark Karo syrup on white bakery bread. I miss that and him. He lived to be 82 so why we gotta eat all healthy now. Bring back the Karo syrup.

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  8. The white walls are a great backdrop for your furniture and makes the room seem larger. Really sheer curtains, not lace curtains, hung just under the crown molding in a light green that blends with the sofa or a soft pinkish that would blend with the fan chair, which I love. I would keep the blinds. You have such great light in your home and probably want to keep it bright.
    Tee

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    1. I agree with all of this. The blinds are nice. You have enough color with your furniture so I think if you wanted white sheers, that’d be fine, but not lace. It is too granny.

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    2. Yes to teesmithii !!!!! Keep the white. Also keep the wood blinds,they are white and perfect.
      They make cabbage rose pattern sheers. All in the colors of your furniture.

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  9. We have plantation shutters for the front of our house and I love them. You can just throw them open all the way and so much sunshine comes in, its wonderful. The back of the house had no treatments on the wind ok ws because I love looking out. You might like plantation shutters too

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  10. I’m a huge fan of the striped shades with the lace curtains. I really love the vintage feel of that look. I like the idea of softly colored painted woodwork as well. The cabbage rose panels appeals to me too. Soft and feminine.

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  11. I love that all of your room photos have a beast of some kind in them – it’s a fun game of Where’s the Fur….however that pillow gets me EVERY time!

    I am probably stuck in 2005 but I like a white room with one color/accent wall. I feel like pulling a green out of that beautiful recovering would lend a Spring feel year round? But what do I know, I’m still clinging to the coastal look because I’m too cheap and lazy to redo everything.

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    1. I forgot – if that is paneling that’s been painted over, it will be a bitch to repaint. Not advice but fair warning because I still feel guilty about not telling you a quarter was necessary for Aldi shopping.

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    2. I love coastal! I will not be dictated to by current trends. It’s my home and I like what I like.

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  12. Here’s me. I would leave the wood white. Also keep the spendy wood blinds. However putting a lace type drape, or the cabbage print someone else mentioned, over it. I would not put any type of valance up because it make the ceiling look lower. And here’s what i would do. Pick out the curtains and buy one with one rod and hang them. You can always take both the curtain and rod back if it doesnt turn out. Not gonna lie. For a mil-asecond I thought Milhouse was gonna get it. Ha

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    1. Stripping window trim ain’t easy, girl. I tend to like things mounted inside the trim like your roller shade example, so you can actually enjoy the trim. Relaxed Roman shades are my personal fav because they look kinda like a smile. My house has lots of millwork, but very few drapes – dining room and master bedroom only.
      How fun to dream and scheme while you recover!

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    2. Love the stripped wood but that can be a lot of work! Start with your living room; doesn’t it have 2 windows? Those shades would look good. I have the matchstick bamboo blinds on all of my windows and have different drapes in each room (except sun room which has no blinds, no curtains, just windows).

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    3. Not positive, but you might not actually have “nice” wood under the paint. That’s what I have. They used the beautiful oak in my living room and entry way, but the wood for the remainder of my windows was meant to be painted. Since these were workers homes, there may not be strippable wood underneath. Check with some neighbors. Also, stripping all that wood = lots, lots, lots of work.

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  13. I like the way just having blinds looks; but if you have to dress it up some of those lace sheers might be a nice touch. It wouldn’t cost that much either. Maybe the sheers could have a pop of color.

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  14. Fey window treatments (tm June). I suggest long white sheers, hung hide and wide (that’s what he said)(don’t I wish) with valances. I do love a good valance. I like the look of roll-up “wooden” blinds, but I have room-darkening blinds instead and I will never part with them. Highly recommend for bedrooms. And yes, I have long white sheers and two cats and you’d think that would be a problem, but it isn’t. Go figure.

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  15. Can’t offer a lot of decorating ideas but what I have learned over the years. Painting. If you paint all the rooms in your home the same soothing color (be it white, light grey, greige or whatever) it makes the home seem larger and flow from room to room. Also the same with flooring. We went with hardwood throughout the entire house and it makes it seem larger and more coordinated. All of my large furniture is neutral and I add color with artwork and pillows and such. I mean, my coffee table/ottoman is teal velvet but it is the only piece in the room that is not a neutral. I had to have it though.

    Secondly, positive thoughts and prayers if you are the type would be appreciated. I had my second cataract surgery on 2/25 and the following Sunday had pain and blurry vision. Went to the eye hospital and got someone to draw a culture from my right eye and give me two shots of antibiotics. we were up every hour on the hour giving me eye drops as well. Back the next day, more pain and no vision at all. Had emergency eye surgery due to a bad staph infection behind my eye. We are hoping the vision eventually returns but the doctor says it could be months and months. This is following the horrendous time I had with a MRSA infection on my left knee replacement in 2013/2014/2015. I’m feeling a little depressed right now but reading about a Karo Grandpa has me smiling and laughing out loud today. Thanks for the funny, June. You just never know when someone is having a down time and your writing helps them see some sunshine in their lives.

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    1. Best wishes to you BamaCarol. I recently had a staph infection in my eye and it took about a month to clear up. I hope you’re feeling and seeing better soon.

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  16. One of my son’s friends, whom I love and adore, would always be at our house when I was cooking dinner and he was always invited to stay for dinner and he always, always accepted the invitation. That boy was a human garbage scow and there was no food he’d turn down. Then he’d go home and have dinner. Anyway, one night I was trying a new recipe and let’s just say it didn’t come out the way I was hoping. Did that deter Adam? Hell no! He was a member of the Clean Plate Club and when I asked how it tasted, he said, “I don’t care as long as it makes a turd.” He’s a fireman now.

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    1. I had a friend in high school who, whenever he stayed to dinner, my mother was stunned at how much food he could put away. I was 5’4″ and weighed 110. He was on the swim team. So.

      One of my mother’s better lines was directed at him. She wanted me to leave for somewhere or other and he was all, “Pam, hang on, I’m talking about my sex life, here” and she said, “Oh, okay, that won’t take long.”

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  17. “June should look at the Country Curtains catalog!”
    “I haven’t seen one of those forever”
    *Googles “Country Curtains”*
    Country Curtains went out of business in 2017.

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  18. Karo Grandpa. Oh my god.

    I love your blinds and the trim around those windows is beautiful. I’d go with something light and flow-y. Pull in some color if you want – some rosy pink would be pretty with all the green. Lighter than your chair, but neither blush nor bashful. So helpful I know… I can picture it, but don’t ask me to describe it.

    In fact, I will go and find a picture!

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  19. If I may be so bold, you are riding that “I’m turning into my grandma” train pretty hard. Why not some nice roman shades with a flat bottom, just like mine? Am I being too critical? Probably. I am in the middle of bedroom/closet/bath remodel and perhaps going insane. These guys with their questions. Every time I answer one, 5 more come up.

    AND, I think I want shag rugs in the bedroom, so my opinion may not be of consequence as far as good taste goes.

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  20. I feel like your furniture vibe calls for the scalloped blinds. However, those are very nice, pricey blinds so I would resell them on FB marketplace or letgo and recoup some of the money someone else spent on them to defray the cost of your blinds.

    Another option is keep the nice wood blinds and hang sheers in a gauzy or lacy fabric. If you could get a them with a light print (omg cabbage roses in a very muted rose would be divine for your furniture) that would bring color and soften, but not lessen, the light. It would really add to the room, I think. The same fabric over the windows and door window.

    You could also paint the crown molding (or invite me down and I’ll do it) to add contrast. A very muted rose or mint – not so you look like a baby’s room or candy store, but to compliment the furniture.

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    1. I would second this motion, especially the idea of lace (or sheer) curtains over the blinds. Imma terrible at coming up with ideas but love certain looks in magazines. However said adored ideas are totally way above my imaginary budget. I am so happy you are taking this survey ‘cause I plan to follow comments with pen and paper in hand.

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  21. When my appendix ruptured as a teenager, it was misdiagnosed as a stomach bug because of how I much underplayed the pain. I couldn’t freaking walk without hunching over like, aptly named, a hunchback, but when medical professionals were all, “What’s your pain level?” I’d answer, “4,” with tears running down my face. That’s when I first learned I had a high pain threshold. But then that’s also why I hung out at home for a week with a ruptured organ in my body, resulting in blood poisoning and a bunch of hospital stays. Those subsequent trips meant a lot of shots and needles, and my pain threshold evaporated. You can poke me now and leave a bruise. Bodies are weird.

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    1. “because of how I much underplayed,” brought to you by your copyeditor coworker

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  22. That pretty purple flower is periwinkle (vinca for the formal folks) and it is part of the dogbane family. That name makes it easy to remember it is poisonous to dogs, though I have never ever seen a dog try to eat it. Maybe they already know.

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  23. Karo Grandpa! Available in light and dark.

    I love lace curtains. I think they’d be nice with a bit of color on the walls.

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  24. I don’t mind the white, I would suggest a pop of color in a valance over the windows. Lets all the natural light in but still breaks up the white

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  25. I am SICK over your Michigan, Seattle, Los Angeles, North Carolina prints. SICK. I ADORE them but I would have New York, New York, New York and oh, New York. I suppose I could have New York City, New York City Suburbs, Upstate New York, etc., but Christ on a Cracker, I’ve lived in different counties but in the same….. OH WAIT A MINUTE. I am misinterpreting. I could have these states: Anxiety, Confusion, Depression, and Fatigue.

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  26. Maybe you can incorporate your animals into the decor. They could add a nice ambience. Don’t look at me for decorating ideas.
    When I see a young man that piques my interest, I always wonder if he has an available great grandpa.

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  27. Of course not! In fact, I think we should try to get people to do June replica houses all across the world. Anyway, step one, get any suggestions at all. So far it’s just us in this empty room.

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  28. Will you be mad if I steal some of the suggestions you get? I’m redoing my house by myself and I don’t have great ideas. But I’m a great copycat!
    I’m already planning to copy those scalloped blinds. I put up curtains in one room, but I need something to go with the curtains!

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