Guilty dogs have got no rhythm

I’m over here like, Man, I guess I’d better say a few words. Like I’m Winston Churchill or something and everyone’s clamoring for my pith. It’s hard to find something to write about when we’re all (mostly all) living this Groundhog’s Day existence. Let’s see. I got up, let the dog out, started working here at home, let the dog back in, oh look it’s 5! Let the dog out, watch TV, bed. Get up. Let the dog out.

One thing Eds and I did that was out of the ordinary was on Friday—or Friyay, if you want to be someone who makes my nethers twitch—we went to the vet. I know! The many adventures of Eds and June.

As you know, from your scroll of June events—and do you know what I miss? I miss someone bursting into the town square with a scroll, announcing things. When did that go out of style?

Anyway, as you know, from someone bursting into your town square and announcing things from a scroll, Edsel was diagnosed with congestive heart failure six months ago, and he was supposed to go back for a checkup in, you know, six months. Which is now. How soon is now?

I wasn’t going to take him in till we weren’t riddled with pandemic, but on top of old smokey and his heart trouble, his hip trouble seemed to be bothering him more, despite the million-dollar dog bed for bad hips that I got him, and the $49-a-day hip chews that I similarly got him. For a dog I got in a gas-station parking lot, I sure do dole out the bucks on this creature.

I’d been doing dog massage I learned from YouTube videos, but that seemed to be, shockingly, not helping much. I couldn’t stand how miserable he seemed, so off we went, to the curbside vet service. I would have highly enjoyed my no-nonsense veterinarian rolling up to the car on skates, but she did not.

I wrote a tome for her to read once she was inside with my dog, and am certain she did not roll her eyes at all. Edsel. Based on the novel Push, by Sapphire.

She was gone with my dog for quite a while, and I sat in the car and felt hot, but finally she returned, Edsel cheerfully holding his leash in his mouth. It’s his signature move, and everyone is charmed by it, so I feel like he really plays it up for the crowd.

His CHF isn’t any worse, which is good. But now he has arrhythmia. I mean, of course he has no rhythm. His mom was a WHITE German shepherd. I took notes while my be-masked vet talked and wrote down that he was having “sinkable episodes.” When I got home and could Google, turns out the word is syncopal. Because I’m brilliant. The unsinkable Edsel Brown.

Anyway he gets faint. Is my point. Because he has no rhythm.

Also too, Eds has spondylosis, which sounds more fun than it is. Everybody do the spondylosis! Oh, swing your partner round and round…

It’s a bad sort of arthritis, is I guess the best way to describe. They gave him a free session of cold laser therapy, performed by Stone Cold Steve Austin. I actually have no idea who that is. Is that a wrestler? A football player? A freezer brand?

Anyway, she gave him that to see if it helped, but what I failed to ask was, “How soon should feeling better show up?” because he seemed the same. I did also give him a new pill she gave me a week’s worth of, and I think he’s…a little less bad? No matter what, if he wants to get up off the floor, he has to plan it for a month and a half. There’s no leaping up spontaneously for this dog. He’d be a terrible break dancer at this point.

Also, this weekend I threw Blu and he

walked

over to get it. Has there been anything more awful to see than that creature walking across the lawn, when formerly he was a gazelle?

So that was our one outing, and really Eds seemed to enjoy the hell out of it, actually. so gud to see anyone other than mom.

The only other big news is that I started my cat astrology puzzle yesterday, and would you like to know what I’m not good at? Puzzles. Nevertheless, I persisted, and now my only fear is, ironically, a cat knocking down my cat puzzle.

I felt bad, cause ol’ lightening hips, up here, sat on the kitchen floor the whole time I was puzzling. “You can go to your beds, Edsel,” I told him, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He lay there spondylosisly, a faithful cur. Edsel’s got the floor.

Do you know what I’d like to do? Is get a new kitchen floor. Look at that depressing beige floor. What should I put down in its place, with all my dollars? Also, how much does it cost to put in a new floor? Also, can you even HAVE home repair right now? I’d assume no.

I’d best be off, to go do whatever it is I do all day.

Spondylosisly,
June

50 thoughts on “Guilty dogs have got no rhythm

  1. Also, today is the Prince anniversary. Four years. Our alternative public station has a stream just of Prince, called Purple Current, for all that want the fullness of his music. Oh, this is in Minnesota.

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  2. Edsel’s woes make me sad, ’cause he so wants to do everything he can for mom. He’s a wonderful dog. Also, getting older does make for challenges, dogs & people alike. April is also my sad month, as my previous kitty died two years ago this month, and both my parents.

    Floors: I have wood, real wood, and I LOVE them. They match my 1922 original floors so well. My dining room is right next to the kitchen, and you’d never know they weren’t original. I also have a bad hip, and had no desire to stand on any kind of ceramic or porcelain tile. Another idea is to use real linoleum (look it up, also very environmentally friendly). Would look very cool in your vintage house!

    I’m going a bit crazy here at home, but book club has done a video meeting. I also do Tuesday morning Craft & Coffee with some friends as well, via video. It’s a big deal to go to the drugstore and pick up my meds. Woo hoo.

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  3. “Sinakable episodes”. I have one of those about 11 times per day. Working from home is ridiculous. When I’m home I wanna do HOME stuff, not WORK stuff. And everything takes 23485473594 times longer than it should .

    Love you June. Hate everything else.

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    1. I really thought it was sinkable. I mean, he DOES sink. At this point it no longer seems to scare either of us when it happens. We’re both like, okay, your legs are gonna give out for a moment, Sinkable. Carry on.

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  4. I’m sorry Edsel is having trouble. My poor old rat terrier, Penny, who used to leap up three steps at a time has started tripping up stairs. It’s hard to watch.

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  5. I’ll trade you that beige, depressing tile for the awful, no matter what, always looks dirty tile that I have. Dear God, who thought this tile would be a good choice?!

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  6. I am redoing my 1953 Midcentury not modern kitchen. And by re-doing I mean my husband took it down to durr floors and no ceiling. Anyway… I tell you this to say I pondered over what to use for my flooring. My floor former was sheet vinyl in a lovely golden hue that had nicks and tears. I did not want to go back with that. So I chose VCT. It is normally used in commercial settings but it is so durable. Look up Armstrong VCT in Celebration. That is what I chose

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      1. Yes. I will post a pic on book of the face once it is on the floor. Presently Mr. Everything Has to be Perfect is sanding the floor for the 787,345.2 time.

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  7. I know the names of Edsel’s illnesses from watching old episodes of House but I would have needed to look up what they were too. I really stinks that dogs are at their sweetest as they age and then the health issues start kicking in. Edz is the sweetest boy and I love his underbitey adorableness and his devoted heart. I hope the medications make him feel better. Give him a gentle pat from me please. He is one well loved internet pup.

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  8. He could have a fainting couch. Dying. I have long wanted a bedroom big enough to have a fainting couch of my own.

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  9. I am so glad my vet has been open during the pandemic. First Cody got a string from a toy wrapped around a tooth. He’s a reactive biter so there was NO WAY he was letting me in his mouth to pull it out. I went ahead and scheduled a teeth cleaning b/c they were gonna have to knock him out to get the string. Guess what? That damn string wasn’t even there when they went to get it! Really? Then, because it is spring, Cody is having his bi-annual ear infections. I spent $500 of our stimulus money for a blood allergy test for him – doc recommended it a year ago and I have spent hundreds and hundreds of $$ on ear infections in that time, so decided it would be money well spent to know EXACTLY what he reacts to. My vet highly recommends it for dogs with allergies … and I woke up today to see that Cody had scratched his right ear so much during the night that it is bloody and the hair is matted. So, back we go to the vet in a couple of hours for treatment. I should have that allergy test in about 2 more weeks. With my luck, he’s allergic to the type of grass in our HUGE yard … sigh … Every time I look at that dog, all I see are dollar signs!

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  10. Edsel is such a cutie! It looked like he was going to school with a note.

    According to a commercial I heard on the radio, CarolinaImprovements.com is still providing estimates and performing home improvement work. As someone who spends WAY too much time watching HGTV, that old-fashioned linoleum is making a come-back (Google retro linoleum flooring). There are some amazing patterns out there.

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  11. Edsel. He’s a good boy. Seems like yesterday you had his De-balling Ball of a Party. Life with a pet just flies by. I have been noticing how old all my pets are. One is almost 14, then 13, 9, 6 and a brand new just recently captured, I mean, adopted off my street, dog who I believe is 5. And it just seems like yesterday when that 9 year old was just a wee single teenage mama kitty.

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  12. Poor Edz. I still think of him as a rambunctious puppy, annoying Lu. I would think it wouldn’t be a huge expense to do just your kitchen. I can’t remember if the adjoining flooring is hardwood but it seems like it is. If so, I wouldn’t recommend the fake/vinyl hardwood. To me it would look weird. I would look into 12×12 vinyl tiles because they are easy to install and come in so many fun patterns, which seems like something you would like. If funds were unlimited, I’d install hardwood to match the rest of the house (because that is something I SO wish I could do with some carpeted rooms in my house).

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    1. Yes–the rest of the house is original hardwoods, except for the bathroom, which is a ceramic tile I can live with. I like the idea of the colored tiles, because you know how I am. This kitchen is tasteful and lovely and I’d like to rip all that out as quickly as possible.

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      1. Do you have any restrictions on what you can do with the mill house area, like keep it in line with the original look.

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          1. Maybe try some colored throw type rugs in there first. Or even a bigger rug under your table or on the open section of the floor.
            The main thing I like about that floor is all your pets fur doesn’t show up on it and any dirt bits they bring in don’t show either.

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          2. The reason I would keep the floor is it shows no dirt or pet hair. If it is good condition.
            How about a big colorful rug.

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  13. June, I wish we could bring you as much cheer and delight as you bring us. We’re all having monotonous days, if we’re lucky. My friend was just tested for COVID and is awaiting results. I’ll take my monotony. I love the curbside vet thing. I always hated going in that little room with the metal table and holding my shaking dog who stopped shaking the moment the vet walked in. It’s all in the waiting unless you’re having whatever that biopsy thing was you had and then it’s definitely all in the having.
    PS. I like your floor. Your dog just needs to be a different color.

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  14. He has no rhythm because his mom was a white German shepherd. Awesome. Sorry that he is slowing down. Happy that you are still keeping us laughing. I love hardwood floor, but probably pricey. I think the imitation wood floor that comes in vinyl planks might be perfect. They have so many different colors. I am far from a designing goddess, so maybe don’t listen to me – but I think they look real.

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    1. I agree on the vinyl wood planks. My sister has sold flooring for 20 years and she recommends them too, especially for pet owners.

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      1. Me too. We just redid our whole main floor in them. I was in the store picking out flooring and they looked identical to the real wood, but hey — more durable and waterproof? I was sold.

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  15. Poor Edsel. But he seems happy still, so that’s good.

    Thank GOD for your update. I find working from home is exponentially more stressful than working in the office. I go to the office twice a week and practically sing, I’m so happy there. All alone. Just me. Working. HEAVEN.

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  16. I’m sorry that it is a result of illness, because otherwise I think Edz might rather enjoy being known as someone who has fainting spells. He could have a fainting couch.
    I hate that he has all the issues but I’m so glad that he has such a good mom to take him through these getting older times!

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    1. He could have a fainting couch. Dying. I have long wanted a bedroom big enough to have a fainting couch of my own.

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  17. The construction thing is a big NO, at least where I live. We were in the middle of remodeling our master bedroom and bathroom and all work had to come to a stop a month ago. We had no open walls to the outside and we do have other toilets we could use – this is the standard out where we are – so, goodbye workers. So there is a mess everywhere as my bedroom stuff is now rezoned to every other room in the house. Frustrating. And people need to stop telling me “this too shall pass” because I can throw an ice pick further than 6 feet away. I get that it has to stop for everyone’s health. Still…

    Sweet Edsel. It’s heartbreaking to watch them age without being able to do much for them. But how happy he must be to have you home! Sick of you or not, just knowing you are there probably makes him feel a little safer and better.

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  18. Sending lots of love to Edsel. Getting old sucks! I do think home repairs can still be done now. Good luck with the puzzle. It looks like a good one. I am working one now that I hate! Thanks for posting.

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  19. Thanks for the update! Edsel is a sweet old man and his favorite thing is being with you so he is loving that. It’s just such a balancing act as they get older. As for flooring, I love my vinyl planks but they are honestly a little tacky. I don’t care. We had to get rid of carpet and anybody who buys this place in the future will redo everything anyway. It’s great for pets and fits with the “crappy half-ass” theme of my house.

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  20. I had a black linoleum floor with other colors that I loved and it was 600 installed. Of course this was 15 years ago….
    Not sure if this falls under essential but l think people are looking to work.

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  21. Much love to Edsel, and thank you for posting! Love reading about your adventures, even when they primarily involve staying home. You have a gift!

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  22. I’m
    Sad that Edz can’t chase Blu like in the old days. That’s the only bad thing about having pets…watching them decline. It breaks your heart to feel so helpless. Thankfully he’s in love and being with you is all he really needs. Having this extra time with him is really special to both of you.
    Your daily routine sounds like mine. I don’t dare leave the house. Boy am I going everywhere when this shitzola is done!!

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  23. Sweet Edsel. Our 17 year old cat had to wear a sweater this winter because he was always cold. He was mortified but warm.

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  24. Poor Edz. I hate it when our animals are in pain! Don’t you wish he could talk. Cold laser treatments do help with pain, this is a prime example of when Edz needs to be able to talk. I used to get those before my doctor left the country. Not only are we sheltering in place, we are dodging storms. I HATE STORMS!!!!! Last weekend there were 20 tornadoes in Georgia and haven’t even heard if there were any yesterday and last night. We are suppose to have another round of storms on Thursday and again next Sunday. I’m so ready for the spring of 2020 to pass.
    Tee

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  25. I hate hate hate that our animals age so quickly. God bless him, he is so devoted to you, look at his adoring face while he reclines on the kitchen floor. I just wanna hug on him.
    Thanks for posting! There’s so much monotony to this crazy time, and so much to read that is unpleasant at best, so I do appreciate June puzzles, Edsel photos and all the details from the Gardens (ha, see what I did there?)!

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    1. Glad Edz has such a good mommy. Yes, watching him walking to get Blu is beyond sad. But he is so loved and happy. Just can’t dance worth shit.

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  26. Edsel…aw baby. June you have hung his moon. He is just slowing down like all us old folks…me not you. He delights in your presence. Blu may just be his companion now. He is in heaven just being around you…content and in love.

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