In which Lectric Shave is mentioned

Are you getting kind of tired of deciding which room to sit in every morning, or do you have, like, a new routine already, where you do all your work at the desk and that’s it? If so, I’ve never understood your kind.

In yet another move that rendered me oddly prepared for this apocalypse, I took my work laptop and charger home, a thing I never do, back in February before all this happened. This means I can take this laptop all over yonder, even outside, although the glare, man. Why can’t they fix the glare sitch?

Normally, when I’ve had the rare occasion to work from home, I’ve had to sit in the wood chair I bought at a vintage-goods store, which is cute but not ergonomic.

I’d have to sit in that wooden chair and work from my desktop computer like it’s 1999. Except in 1999 I had one of those colorful Apple computers, remember those? Marvin and I each had a computer in the same room, at different desks, like we had our own business or something. Like we were the LaLanes and he was at his computer in his onesie jumpsuit.

I like how my first thought of a couple with a business is, inexplicably, the LaLanes. I don’t even know if Mrs. LaLane—and how long-suffering must SHE have been—even WORKED with what-energy Jack. Maybe she did the books.

Anyway, Marvin and I did not have a business together. Really, I just emailed people and he looked at music shit.

Why’d we need two computers, really? It was dumb. Plus TWO giant desks in one room.

But I digress.

Anyway, now, I plug the laptop in at night, because I CASH that thing every day. By 5, it’s like on its last legs. Its last leg with a pointed toe like Jack LaLane. It’s always a little race—can I work till 5 or will I kill it by 4:45? But the next day, I take it from the pluggy place and work in the living room a bit, then here in the den, then I take it outside

GLARE!!

and back to the couch. Sometimes I even work on the bed. No place has been ideal, really. But I’m sort of tired of choosing between these four rooms.

My next-door neighbor, not the one who drinks but the woman on the other side of me, is also working at home, and some afternoons we both go in the back yard for “lunch hour” at the same time. Our dogs wish to murder each other in cold blood, so usually our conversations have been limited to, “I’ll take mine in.” “No, no! You stay out! We’ll come out later.” But as of late, we’ve stood at our fences and chatted a bit, dogless. From 6 feet away. She LOVES working from home. She has a spot: her kitchen table. I can’t really work there RN because puzzle.

What part of it should I work on tonight? Oooo, I’ll do a poll! Hang on.

In other news, and there’s just so much news, what with getting up and working from home all day and never going anywhere, but in other news, I have my first workout with m’trainer again tonight, after two months of becoming sort of foam-muscled. Like, anything that was firm is now Lectric Shave. I guess Lectric Shave was that green liquid you slapped yourself with, wasn’t it? I can’t think of any foam.

EDGE! That was a kind of shaving cream. Edge! The only reason I know from shaving products at all is when I accidentally see sports commercials.

Remember back when they decided shaving cream should come out as a gel first and then foam after? Why? I remember being FASCINATED with it, even though I did not shave. I was forever pumping a little out to watch that transformation. And to think, back then I could actually go out.

Anyway, we are VIRTUALLY working out. The other day, she texted me. “I just left some weights and resistance bands on your porch.” I was all, you DID? This house is 999 square feet. Old Watchdog Eardog, over here, really turned in a stellar performance guarding the house.

I better go. It’s 8:27 and I want to get to work by 8:30. BAH. This commute, man. It’s killin’ me.

Home-ily,
June

58 Comments

  1. I don’t remember Elaine LaLanne smoking and eating a doughnut (see Poet, below), but sometimes Jack would have her demonstrate an exercise or stretch. She’d say, “Jack–I caaan’t,” and he’d say, “Come on, Elaine!” (not Eileen) and force her to finish.

    My baby brother in his playpen would watch Mom work out with Jack. At the end of an exercise Jack would say “Inhale! Holdit holdit holdit—and Exhale!” This came in very handy when ten-month-old brother developed pneumonia and needed a chest x-ray. Technician: “It’s so hard to get them to hold their breath.” Mom, bursting with pride: “No problem! Roger–Inhale!”

    Thanks, Jack.

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  2. ‘lectric shave – ha ha…
    I tried sharing an office with my then-husband when I moved to NC in 2011. OMG. It didn’t last long as he had to play all the whatever they were – ads – P O L I T I C A L – loud and clear – along with stock market stuff. Who the heck could do anything with all that hub bub going on?
    So – made him an office in the corner of our giant master bedroom – he was not happy but … well he stayed there. And then I walked in on him viewing some rather lewd redhead…. sigh.
    Jack LaLane… I remember him well but his wife – not so much. He looked a bit like leather when I last saw him…

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  3. This will surprise exactly no one: on the days that I am WFH (work/ing from home. i had to look it up), I get up at my usual time, shower, get dressed and sit at my desk in my bedroom. (Laptop? 1995 called. I use a desktop. I could also use my tablet, but remoting in via tablet is not friendly to this user. The curser goes left when I go right…I don’t know.) So I sit at my desk at home for most of the day because as soon as I think, “hey, I’ll…” and move to another room, I get an email notification and I scurry back to my desk. I feel that as long as I’m getting paid, I am at the bosses’ disposal from 9-5. But I also respond to emails and texts later than five. On the days I work in the office, I am so delighted to be leaving my house that I end up at work at 7:30 am. I know. I KNOW. It’s a sickness.

    My co-worker, a millennial (and by the time I learn how to spell that, she won’t be one anymore) I am QUITE sure, rolls over at 8:58, clicks on her laptop and waits for something to happen. And she promptly clicks off at 5:00.

    I ordered a puzzle and it is finally being delivered this Saturday. I also had to order a puzzle THING because: ALBERT. That fucker will be the death of me so we will have to put the puzzle away if we are not right there guarding it.

    I think I find WFH (see above) stressful because while I am AT HOME and I see things and projects that I want to do, I am also AT WORK, so I can’t. I can’t not answer an email from my boss or a client in a timely manner because I’m up to my fat ass cleaning out a closet. I feel like the home projects are taunting me.

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  4. ANYWAY. We built a room addition specifically for my office since I work from home. I love it, it’s my sanctuary and it’s MINE. My husband’s office is in the spare bedroom. No way could I share an office with him because he fidgets. He taps his fingers on the desk, taps his pen on the desk and the worst is that he does his best Riverdance impression while sitting in his chair and it drives me batshit crazy. He’s completely unaware that he’s doing these things, too.

    I grew up watching Jack LaLanne and his stretchy onesie.

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    1. We shared an office for precisely 62 minutes. The next 7 hours were taken as PTO and spent cleaning out the junk room to set up as a second full time office. Covid in prison would really suck so this was best.

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  5. I wrote out this long, witty and informative comment and stupid WordPress said it couldn’t be posted.
    Story of my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I sit at our dining table in a spot facing out the bay window, so I can watch the world pass by. Seriously, everyone is out there on their walks all the damn time, while I’m trapped inside trying to work and get 2-3 kids to do their schoolwork. I like working from home, but it’d be better if the kids went back to school! 🙂

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  7. I remember Jack LaLane well, but the only exercise I remember was the jumping jacks. We watched him, because…I don’t have a clue why because I never saw my mom exercise mainly because she was physically active and probably didn’t need to do all those jumping jacks. That wooden chair makes me hurt just looking at it! That looks like 1949 rather than 1999. I don’t even remember having those torture chairs when I worked for the Army and that was the late 60s and early 70s. That’s 1960s. When we had our business I had an office upstairs which was nice and not so nice. We finally had to have office hours 7:30 a.m. until 7:00 p.m. We had to set boundaries for answering the phone because people would call us all hours of the night. Best part of working from home is the commute.
    Tee

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  8. Well, you did Virgo cat, so the world feels OK to me. I picked something else. It didn’t really matter which was next since Virgo was already done.

    I am working at the kitchen table, which is bar height. On Monday, I had lunch with a girlfriend. I sat in her front yard and she sat up on her front porch. It was fantastic. It’s so nice to see people. I know I’m one of many realizing I must like people more than I thought I did.

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  9. For some years I lived in the same town as Jack and Elaine LaLanne. As kids, my brother and I loved watching Jack on TV and jumping around with him. Do any of the chronologically blessed people here remember he had a HUGE ASS white german shepherd? Well, when I saw Jack in person, I laughed so hard cause he was about 5’2, so I guess the shepherd was average sized. He and Elaine would come to the restaurant where I worked. They were usually with the mayor and his wife (Mayor’s son owned the place). They loved their cocktails! He brought his Cadillac to a friends shop to fix the rattling sound and my friend simply removed the bottles from the trunk. Elaine is the only one left now,

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      1. Happy would bring Happy’s Joke Book to Jack and he would read Happy’s Jokes from Happy’s Joke Book.

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  10. I started out working at my little desk in our tv room, which is my favorite room in the house. But I soon realized I don’t like to mix my working and relaxing spots so I set up a little corner in the basement with my sewing table as a desk and a chair I borrowed from work that isn’t quite good enough. The desk is by an egress window so it’s not too bad. I usually start the morning upstairs in the tv room taking care of some email until my husband gets up. Then I take a break and get dressed, straighten up the bedroom, etc. and then head down to the basement. I don’t have anywhere near enough work to keep me busy. Not sure what will happen if this goes on really long term.

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  11. I love lying across my bed while on the computer & doing my light therapy box, but the cat uses it as a traffic walkway. She patrols everywhere I sit, while I’m sleeping, etc. She clearly has ADHD. It isn’t very ergonomic, but it is comfy.

    Did needlepoint and chatted with my friend on Skype yesterday morning. I’m kind of liking it. We are both laid off, so catching up on fun, crafty projects is the main focus. Don’t tell the police, but I went over to a friend’s house on Saturday, and we had coffee 10 feet apart in her living room. Boy, was that helpful. When it’s just you and the cat, any outing is a break. I should be more motivated to do stuff around the house, but I’m just not.

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    1. My neighbor texted me she was walking past my house last night, and I SCREAMED out there like she was bringing a pony or something. “HI!” she said. “HI!!!” I said. It was the social highlight of the day.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I had a friend tell me the following day that he’d walked down my street. I said, “WHAT?! Why didn’t you text or call or something? I could’ve shouted ‘HI!’ Or walked 6′ away from you or something.” I don’t know what he was thinking!

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  12. I voted Aquarius because of the water and you had already done the most important one which is Virgo. Two people two computers? Absolutely-tootly! Two people two desks? Beyond the strongest meaning of essential. Keep your sticky fingers off my laptop and if you even walk past my desk my stapler better be right where I left it, boy-o.

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  13. Your puzzle KILLS me with its tidiness and lack of pieces scattered everywhere. I currently have a 1,500 piece landscape scattered all over the dining table and every single piece is available for placement. It’s very random and very organic in its growth. And yes, some pieces have been chewed on. I actually had to Superglue a layer back on a corner…

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  14. Jack Lalanne is one of my idols. I actually have a few of his old books and his wife has her Instagram where she was just doing push-ups at 93. I’m too young to remember the original tv show (maybe not)but I loved it when they showed it about 15 years ago on some tv channel.
    Glad you will be Glamour-sising later with your trainer.
    I don’t work from home- laid off from the hotel where I work. All you work at homers seem so professional to me, tippity tap.
    Excellent post.

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  15. My spot is in my basement. I can’t move easily because even though I have a laptop, it’s docked so it can be attached to three monitors. It’s not bad because it isn’t a normal basement and I can see out the ground level windows. Someone in the comments mentioned how she could see her bird feeder, and now I need one.

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  16. I used to work for an aerosol packaging company, a large one. We made ALL SORTS of shaving creams, including some that were designer fragrances. Not only did I look good, but I smelled good, too. Not that I don’t anymore, of course.

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      1. There indeed WAS designer shave cream…English Leather, British Sterling, manly, yes, but every else liked them, too, in addition to Barbasol and Colgate.

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  17. I was working from home before all this crap but I do have an external office that I tried to go to every other week but that is forbidden now. I have an actual office in my house with a door which is helpful because it makes me feel like I have a work space and a home space. So after work I retire to the living room…..

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    1. I SHUT DOWN my laptop at 5 and DON’T LOOK BACK, just like Boston. But we have this chatty thing called Teams at work, and I stupidly added it to my phone at some point. So I’ll be tryina relax at like 9 at night and I’ll see a Teams message on my phone and I’ll be all, OH GODDAMMIT WHAT and get all tense and worky, and 9 times out of 10 it’s some copy editor saying something funny but still. It upsets me. It yanks me back to work.

      Quarantining is hard.

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      1. I am sooooooooo glad I didn’t put Teams on my phone, I do have it set up so I get an email if someone IMs me in Teams and that is enough! Thanks for this warning as sometimes I think I should put it on my phone!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh! We’re moving to Teams at work too, and they suggested installing it on our phones. I’m so glad I’ve been too lazy to do so. I like closing the laptop at 5 and not thinking about work until the next morning.

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      3. I worked from home for a year and a half before my old company opened a Boston office, and that was one of the hardest things to learn. Everyone talks about discipline required to work from home, but they don’t tell you that you also have to discipline yourself to “leave” work. I used to have a skype chat that beeped with new messages. Sometimes at night, I’d hear it start beeping and just look at the computer screen to “check” what was going on. Then it’d be 3am. I also learned to take my lunch at a different location, even if I was going to spend it on the laptop. Just not being at my desk was enough to prompt me that I didn’t need to think about work right now. (That’s the real advantage to me of having a designated work location.)

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    1. Someone left a comment in the poll, which I forget you can do, to say tonight the new moon goes into Taurus, so I’ve already decided to do Taurus. But I still hope everyone votes, because it’s fun to see who plays with my polls. So to speak.

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  18. Lectric Shave sounds vaguely familiar…but I can’t picture it.

    I am one of those people you dislike but it’s more out of necessity…when we were sent home to work remotely, I had to bring home a desktop computer and two giant ass monitors, a printer, and a scanner. I also snagged my pricey ergonomically-friendly chair. So I have a mini-office set up and that’s where I sit for most of the day. I take breaks to walk the dogs (and if I still blogged, I’d have a lot to say about transitioning to apartment living with dogs after being in a house with a fenced-in yard.) I am finding that I kind of love working from home and I have rarely had a migraine since this started, either.

    At the end of the day I shut all this down and either sit on the porch or go to the other room for TV and whatnot. OH, I’m not sure you saw, but I have finished 3 paint-by-numbers and am waiting on delivery of my next one. You would love it. Did you talk about doing these or did i dream that?

    Missing all the peoples, Fawn

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  19. Did anyone else’s mother have Jack LaLane’s “glamour stretcher”? I never saw my mother use it, but I remember playing with it as a kid. It was dark blue with handles at each end and it stretched. Thus the name. Actually, I could use one these days.Wonder where it is.

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    1. No but my mother had a machine that you plugged in and put a strap around your caboose and it shook like crazy – it was supposed to shake the fat off of you, I guess. If only that had been a thing. I cannot for the life of me remember what it was called.

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      1. Oh! my mom had one of those! As kids, we thought it was the best thing in the world to put it around your chest and then try to talk. “Hii-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i thee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e M-m-m-m-m-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m!”

        I’m sure that was not at all annoying as she tried to talk on the phone.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. I remember using those machines at Elaine Powers in the late seventies. I have no clue what they were called either.

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    1. For now? I’ll probably post when I post, for the time being. I’ve been setting the alarm for like 10 minutes before my workday, and then lately I’ve been too drained to post after. Once we all go back to work (will we? Ever?) I’ll probably get the routine back.

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    2. I remeber my mom watching Jack a few times. Not sure that lasted very long. WFH made me cement that I am an ambivert. I truly enjoy living by myself and Moo but I still need person to person contact. I fulfill this by going grocery shopping and driving to see my family. Call me a rebel but I will not protest. Seriously? I habe a specific work place because I have duel screens which is pretty necessary for my job. But if i chose I could pack up and work in a different location. Issue being Moo. Illinois is talking about going mid June. And the forcast for my company is very concervative. I may not be back to a physical office location until the fall.

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      1. I was thinking the same thing, Sadie. “Depends when you were born.” My gramma had a whole Jack LaLane (is it Lalane?) book with pictures that I was obsessed with. I was MORE obsessed with the freak book my grandfather got me, but Jack Lalane (LaLane?) was a close second. Also, I doubt we would call it a “freak book” now. We’d have to say something sensitive like, “People who have caterpillar shapes” or “Women with facial hair.”

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        1. My mother did jumping jacks with Jack Lalaanne every morning. His wife appeared in a skit he would do where she was sprawled in an easy chair smoking and eating a doughnut, to show what you shouldn’t do. Bless her heart.

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  20. Am I first to comment? Well my work is babysitting, and I am currently on break from that (BTW not bringing back the family that didn’t value my sitting services. I did chat with them but they didn’t see things the same as me) so technically I can hang out in any room in the house, which sounds exciting, but with my 6 kids e-learning/lurking in many corners of the house I am somewhat limited. My college freshman has taken over my master bedroom during the day – his day starts at noon because my college senior uses their room, mostly to sleep. Sigh.

    I am in the study most often working at my computer for the writing class I am taking, or for my blog, or on my hopefully-someday-book. I just posted on my blog this morning a tiny bit of an excerpt from what I hope to someday call my book. This one page of my book makes fun of my walks-on-water brother, which is just very therapeutic for me the middle child with the Dorothy Hamel haircut my Mom ruined when she decided to save money and stop taking me to the beautician.

    I also have a spot at the dining room table where I sew masks. My kitchen demands I hang out there a ton because these family members of mine do nothing but eat. Did I mention a few weeks ago that we spent $648 on groceries?

    At night I sit on the couch and watch whatever movie everyone fought about whether or not to watch for an hour and 45 minutes before actually turning it on. While on the couch, I try to update my photo albums.

    I wish that chair was comfy because I love it! I am married to a physical therapist and so I sit on a yoga ball at my computer because it is better for my slouchy posture and my back.

    Now I assume I won’t be first to comment because I wrote for too long. Dang. Oh, and I wish I had nice neighbors to chat with. I am surrounded by rude folks. Another story for another day. Hope your laptop stays charged for you. Oh the demands these many devices have put on our internet service, a real headache.

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  21. Where are all the remaining puzzle pieces?Your puzzle table looks entirely too neat. Also, why isn’t there a cat splayed out in the middle of your puzzle?

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    1. The fine folks on Instagram wondered the same thing. I’ve been keeping the pieces in the box, because cats. And sometimes Iris gets right up in there. Because blind cat.

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  22. I got new leather furniture in Feb before all this mess. Since nobody is coming over I am trying to break it all in. Every hour or so I move to a different spot. I don’t know if it is working, but it’s keeping me busy!

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  23. I voted for Taurus because my moon and my rising sign are Taurus. Add the Libra sun and no wonder I can be lazy and why so chubby. Triple Venus can be way too chill sometimes as Tony has observed. He is double fire Sag/Leo and just what I need to light a fire under my lazy ass.
    I agree on the glare with outside screens. WTF?

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  24. I had a wonderful spot at my kitchen island where I was working every day. I could watch the birds at my feeder and gaze out the window from time to time. I was close to the coffee and the refrigerator and the pantry. PERFECT! Then I woke up one day and could not feel my arm and had the worst pain in my neck – worse even than the one I kept telling my husband HE was being. And right then I knew – I needed to find a new place to sit. Now I’ve been to the chiropractor (it’s not COVID in my neck – I asked. Did anyone else have a grandma who used to complain about a cold in her back or her neck? Or was that just me?) and it’s getting better. I can almost feel my fingers again. But no more sitting at my favorite spot.

    I, too, am enjoying staying home. I could do without the “working” part of WFH though.

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