TGIF. Pffft.

This morning, I was admiring my rose bush again, so I went outside to film it for you. I’ve no idea why I decided on making a whole movie for you, but I did, and once we see Edsel? Listen for the neighbor’s rooster. I love hearing the rooster.

Oh, I hope you can hear him. But if you can’t, he sounds like this: Errr-er-er-er-ERRRRR!

You’re welcome.

I’m hearing him, like, 70 times while I type this, and he must be in a good mood. Maybe he’s modeling for the new box of Corn Flakes. How processed does corn have to get to become a flake? Maybe it’s just corn that never shows up when it says it will.

You’re welcome.

Anyway, I’m sitting at the laptop again, petless ATM because everyone went to the back yard to hang about. Lily, who only started venturing out last week, and who can’t even haul her girth up to the dryer to eat so I know she REALLY can’t jump the six-foot fence, is out there looking sort of like how I look at a sled hill or a pool. Sort of uncertain and waiting to see if anyone else thinks it’s fun. I watched her the other day out there, and she watched Milhous stretch so she did too.

Stretch goals.

You’re welcome.

Oh! Here’s the other thing that’s new, thanks to those GODDAMN CATS.

After all my hard work, and placing spare pieces back in the box like a miser, THIS IS WHAT I GET. HOWWWWW did they lose this piece? And awwwww, dawgs, I looked for it. I looked under the fridge with a flashlight, under the stove, under the area rug, under the candlestick where Mil likes to store his kill such as water bottle caps.

Nothing. That piece is gone. I suggested Mil may have eaten the puzzle piece, like Curious George. Maybe that guy who insists on yellow 24/7 can visit him in the hospital.

Have you ever been that happy to drink barium in your life?

Also, I would like a monkey. And if you’re going to annoy me and tell me Curious George is a chimp or an orangutan or whatever, I have no use for you. Same as people who insist on telling me something is an insect and not a bug. Oh my god go give yourself a barium enema, know-it-all.

And I like how simple house cats have gone ahead and RUINED MY LIFE but eight seconds later I want a monkey.

It’s an APE, June.

I guess I always think the next pet will fill the hole in my soul, when we all know that apex is unfillable.

An apex isn’t a hole, June, it’s—

Why so dead RN?

Also, my throat hurts, as usual, and it’s been hurting every day since March and yet every day I wake up with a sore throat and say, I’m Corona Barrett.

Why such a simple sleeve?

Anyway, it’s almost the weekend. What a relief. Can’t wait to just chill around the house. We have our Friday work happy hour today, where we all get on our computers and look at each other, and someone’s usually funny, so that will be like half an hour where I feel relatively normal. Then tomorrow morning I have my trainer.

We also worked out Wednesday, for the first time since my

SURGERY

and oh my god. Pain.

She and I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to get her dog to notice my dog and it never worked.

At some point in the workout, Iris wandered in. “Oh, is that the blind one?” Everyone knows entirely too much about me.

Iris likes me to open the closet so she can sit on the folded comforters in there. I let her, but after while I noticed she’d opted for the uncomfortable wooden chair I’d rolled out of my way, instead.

“Are you taking a selfie?” asked my trainer, who is shocked by nothing anymore. But I was NOT. I was taking an Iris-y. And I hang things inside-out to avoid pet fur, Curious George. Since I have 20 fur-filled creatures and now I’m getting a gibbon.

“Curious George was not a gibbon, June. He—“

Sigh.

You’re welcome,
June

57 thoughts on “TGIF. Pffft.

  1. Oh, my goodness. I am finally caught up from this week. So much to do all the time. I am feeling the same as Paula–I have so much work to do for work that my house is a MESS. And, I hate it. It taunts me too. Sending Edz love…I hope he is feeling a bit better now. Your puzzle is impressive, even with one piece missing–how irritating. Your friend Erin must have a lot of STUFF! She nailed it! I hope everyone here is okay and healthy…

    Lovely POSTS, lovely June!

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  2. My mom used to tell us stories of how her family had a pet monkey growing up. It climbed above the doorways and peed on people when they walked by. I think that was supposed to discourage us from wanting a monkey but somehow it made me really want one. That seemed hilarious.
    And she told how once it got it onto the sun porch in the winter and was left overnight and froze solid and the next morning her mother revived it and saved it’s life. I was fascinated.

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  3. Go give yourself a barium enema, know it all. I’m really glad my sister doesn’t read your not blog because she sometimes thinks I’m a know it all and I know that would come back to haunt me. I personally find it funny as hell.
    I was a pretty big Rona Barrett fan. I wanted to be her or Brenda Starr Girl Reporter when I was little. You grew up and became a writer, Joon. Impressive. I liked Rona’s hair. Still do.

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  4. Thanks for letting us outside to smell the roses. They are beautiful. You make such a lovely home wherever you are. The last time I had a piece missing from a puzzle it was under the puzzle. Don’t know why we didn’t notice it until we were putting the puzzle back in the box. PJ Annoy.

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  5. Beautiful roses! I couldn’t hear the rooster, but I’m gonna try again later. That missing puzzle piece makes me twitchy!

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  6. Loved your roses! Your yard and home – such a beautiful retreat from the world! No wonder your pets are happy!

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  7. IMHO (no, I’m not!), the Man in the Yellow Hat was a dick. If you must have a monkey, for god’s sake take care of it!! Maybe “lello HAT” as my son called him, had jaundice. Does that make one dick-ish? Also, I love that your remember and mentioned Rona Barrett. I can hear her voice in my head, now. I’ll let you know if I’m still grateful at 3 am and I still hear her like a blonde, loud ear worm.

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      1. SOMEone in my house tells me that is a hoary (see what I did there?) old joke, but this is my first sight of it and I liked it. Also, SOMEone says chimps have no tails, so Curious George is a chimp.

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  8. I read on one of my puzzle sites that if you send a picture of the missing piece they will replace it for you

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  9. I love monkeys too. But Gibbons are my fav. At the zoo when my kids were tiny the gibbon did his loud whooping sound and it echoed crazy loud. My niece was with me and she wigged out. I assume I am allergic to monkeys/gibbons too, so I will continue to live vicariously, pet-wise through you.

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    1. Maybe I have a responsibility to get a monkey for your sake. So I can make your life better. Would your life be enhanced if I got a baby goat?

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      1. Hey June, You have a nice fenced in backyard. You can get chickens, goats,pigs. I am sure it would enhance all of our lives. Helping heal the world one pet at a time and fresh eggs and goat milk as well.

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          1. If you got a leopard, I feel you would have no more pets at all. Not enhancing for anyone’s life.

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  10. My eldest has decided she wants a fox for a pet. Like, really badly. Never mind the fact that she is theoretically leaving for college in August, or that they pee on things A LOT. My mother had one, they are cute, ergo, she wants one.

    Also, she saw this video: https://youtu.be/NT0YM-1_cO8

    (Actually, I would love one, too, but I’m not telling her that. I also want chickens and a miniature donkey or horse.)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Check out Juniper Fox’s fb page. Her owner really makes you not want to have a fox in your house, despite their crazy adorable-ness.

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  11. I wonder what your (universal your, not just your your) house would smell like with a monkey living in it. I don’t think Febreeze has a product for that. Maybe you could turn your backyard into a roadside attraction, Visit June’s Monkeyland, 5 miles ahead!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Back in the late ’60s, a lady named Mrs. Schwartz in my grandma’s neighborhood had a little monkey and would walk around with him on her shoulder. Mrs. S liked to give me cookies. However, my grandmother didn’t think much of Mrs. Schwartz and her monkey lifestyle, so she made me throw the cookies away and wash my hands when we got home.

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  12. Maybe the puzzle was packed with a missing piece? Or did you count them first?

    Spelling out how the rooster sounds made my whole damn day. Well done, Coot!

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  13. Corn flake is just corn that never shows up on time. I’m going to work that into a conversation. (Reminds me of what my father used to say, which I’m sure he stole from somewhere: “An expert is just a little spert away from home.”)
    Great post!

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  14. Great job on the puzzle – you finished it so quickly! Why do I imagine Iris stroking the liberated piece in the closet while muttering “Precious”?

    When I was little, family friends had a “lab emancipated” chimp and it was mind-blowing to play with a stuffed animal come to life. I’m not sure if it was his time in lock up or their dynamic with him but he was very used to being a full part of any group which was perfectly fine because ~ chimp. I won’t tell you his name though ~ it would Lu annoy.

    Lovely post, pretty June!

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      1. Are you really sure?

        It was Cupcake Bananahat Monkeykins

        I’m fairly certain the Bananahat portion was added after they ordered him a custom banana-themed sailor suit from a catalog (!). That animal did not consider himself anything other than human nor did their household.

        Nails on chalkboard?

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  15. Hanging your clothes inside out is a great idea. I have never heard of that. The rose bush looks lovely swaying in the wind. We would never have gotten that effect with just a picture.

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  16. Your yard is just lovely! I love that out building/shed. That ape? Looks just like a chimp stuffed animal I have from childhood. I’m not sure if the stuffed animal had a name or my dad named it J. Fred Muggs. I think that was the chimp’s name on the Today Show way, way back when it first started, when TVs were first invented. I still have that stuffed animal, last time I checked they were selling for $100 on ebay. You will eventually find that missing piece of puzzle, but it will be years, long after you have donated the puzzle to Goodwill.

    My little symbol looks like a coronavirus. It probably needs a mask.
    Tee

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  17. It is saying it can’t publish my comment because it is a duplicate. I’m trying again so I apologize if this shows up three times. Lovely rose bush! I have two that bloom but will not get tall.

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  18. We had a monkey when we were young and I could list a hundred reasons why you don’t want a monkey. Poor thing died of pneumonia from the harsh Wisconsin winter, which is pretty much the worst place you could try to raise a tropical animal. It bit us constantly and liked grapes and that’s pretty much it except all our childhood board games had monkey poop all over them. Memories.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I heard it! Oh that rose bush is lovely. I have two but they are small. They bloom, but will not grow taller. Pretty Iris!

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  20. If I had a million dollars… (no one else thought of the BNL song.. “you always wanted a mon-KEY?”)

    Your roses are lovely this spring!

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  21. I remember that exact Curious George story! I love how there are open bottles of medicine out on the counter, just there for the taking.

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  22. I brought a couple of puzzles home from school to work on during this Our Pandemic. But my Covid neck hurts so bad I can’t even do a GD puzzle. So – puzzle envy. Anyway, my point was we have puzzles at school for our high schoolers who have nothing but time on their hands ALL the time apparently, and literally every puzzle they have done this year (well before the year stopped happening) had one piece missing. Fresh puzzles out of the box, one piece missing. Some bastard in the puzzle factory is having themselves a good old time.

    Love you June! My neighbor has a rooster, too – we love hearing him. Actually they are on their third rooster. Apparently at some point roosters can get really mean and then they become soup. And Edsel giving you the “hey Blu’s up THERE Mom” eyes is the sweetest. Good boy Edsel!

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        1. Oh, thanks! A few years back someone at work left, and we got this artist to make — what are those called? Images, pictures, symbols, dammit. It’s a word that means that. Anyway, we had the artist make them of all of us as a big group card for the person leaving, and that was — AVATAR! That was my avatar.

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    1. We have friends that have chickens and their rooster attack her, not him, and he relocated the rooster to the pasture. Rooster became lunch for the hawk(s).

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