Saint June of Joint Health

I’m headed out into the world, during a pandemic, to spend my last $83 on my dog’s medicine.

I totally tried to make that sentence sound as martyred as possible. Didn’t I totally sound like Mildred Pierce or something? I’m such a good mother. Nothing’s too much of a sacrifice for my children. I’m like the mom in Willy Wonka.

Really, I get paid tomorrow, so we will be destitute for only today. If only Milhous can stop paying for PornHub premium we’d be all set.

Edsel is already on two kinds of heart medication, and not that I’m noting it while clutching pennies or anything but they cost $165 a month combined. He’s also taking some chews twice a day for joint health, at $25 a jar. His special old-man food isn’t that bad, actually, at at about $20 a month. But then we also have his flea and heartworm medication, and the part where he needs to go to the vet every six months now for heart follow-ups.

So a MISERLY person might resent his NEW medication, which is to make his arthritic spondylosis-y back better. But the vet, who knows what she’s doing, gave me a week’s supply free and I could really see he felt better. I was wanting to hold out to actually buy it until payday was here, but we ran out of his medicine on Saturday and I can SEE he feels worse without it, and that is why I’m heading out and counting all my change to get him his new medicine today. I don’t want to make him wait even one more day.

I totally need to pull a babushka over my head, resigned, and open the heavy battered front door with my chapped worker-woman’s hands right now. Off to make a sacrifice for my dog.

Iris has to eat special food now, too, for her irritable bowel, and her irritated mom, which is a delightful $50 a bag and which healthy Milhous seems to just love. You’ve no idea how many times I see him munching her health food made from gold and ignoring his delicious canned junk that oughta be way more delicious. Picture someone choosing a kale smoothie over mashed potatoes.

Meanwhile, I’m typing this outside and watching Mil chase a grasshopper all over yonder. His diet is supplemented as it is without $600-a-nibble gastrointestinal special cat food.

Anyway, pets. June’s oft-repeated tip from the top today is don’t get three pets who are the same age, as they will, you know, age, and then you have to treat their ailments at the same time.

I used an old photo of Lil because I don’t wish to find her, find the phone, photograph her then upload it here.

I’d better go. I am writing this during my “lunch hour” and must get to vet.

Meanwhile, tell me what weird things you’re eating out of desperation. For example, I mixed spaghetti noodles with olive oil and some Parmesan cheese and it was magnificent. I also learned it’s easy to make rice; my mother left 47 boxes of it here for some reason. I never ever ever make rice, but now I do, because it’s there and why all the carb lbs, June?

Also, what’s the difference between a grasshopper and a cricket? Don’t they look the same?

Curiously,
June the Mother

46 thoughts on “Saint June of Joint Health

  1. Haven’t made any weird recipes yet, but did remember the no-bake chocolate drop cooks our family has been making since my teenage years. They were just right to satisfy my chocolate craving. After making two half-batches this month, I need to stop making them again for a while because they are too good and I’ve never heard of moderation when it comes to cookies. Their ingredients are cocoa, sugar, butter, milk, peanut butter, vanilla, and quick-cooking or regular oats. You can find various recipes by searching for chocolate nobake cookies in case you have the same cravings. You’re welcome.

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  2. Pet health care is expensive. I am glad that Edsel’s medicine is helping him feel better.
    I haven’t had to eat anything weird yet. I have been trying new recipes, though. And actually planning meals. Cooking is not my favorite past time–I would love the recipe with the porkchop/ketchup/brown sugar…

    Lovely post, lovely June

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    1. I don’t have the recipe because I just googled “make me a recipe with items I have on hand” or something like that. But if I’m not mistaken, it was 2 cups of ketchup, 2 cups of sugar, and one bottle of beer for 8 pork chops. I think I cooked it for 40 minutes or something. I can’t remember the temperature though.

      >

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  3. Grasshoppers have bendy arms and large googly eyes and terrifyingky JUMP. Crickets are black and noisy. You’re welcome.

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  4. Good question! I don’t think I’ve combined anything strange yet, but I made a chocolate depression cake because I had only three tablespoons of cocoa left.
    I live in Iowa, so I bought a hog for $50 from a farmer who had to get rid of some. I still have to pay for processing, but it helps a farmer out and keeps the meat locker busy.

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    1. My Seattle sister’s dog has heart disease too. She feeds him all kinda high priced organic spread. Takes him to a holistic vet and for acupuncture. His life is better than mine. But when our dog developed Cushings disease, we spent thousands to try and save him (unsuccessfully). I guess it is just what we do for love.

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  5. Pork Roll is HUGE in New Jersey and there is talk of shortages. I am DYING. It’s round, highly processed, smoked, salty, greasy and the bomb. It is mostly eaten as a pork roll, egg and cheese sammich on a kieser (round, hard) roll. It is divine and I am going to have to go get one before the sypply runs out. I will hit the local Walmart to see if they have any. You can ship it out of state. My nephew in SC got a huge roll shipped to him from a NJ buddy for his birthday. He posted pics of making the breakfast sandwiches with his kids. That was only the 21st. I may need to send myself some. There is a pork roll store within an hour of here.
    I have mixed a lot of weird stuff. I just had a Lebanon Boligna and Swiss flavor Almond Cheese (Vegan, no lactose) omelette and it was very good. Lebanon Bologna comes in regular (tangy) and sweet. I’m a tangy girl. It’s highly processed and yummy too. I also need some scrapple. I love pork so much I should have pink skin and a wiry tail. Beef and chicken are other favorites. I am allergic to shellfish and real cheese, cream, etc. It eliminates whole categories of food I once lived for. I DO like beans. I also despise spicy food. Isn’t dirty rice spicy? Rice is super high on the glycemic scale (spikes bloodsugar) so I abstain. I do like the cauliflower rice! I have gained weight too.

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    1. I first heard of Pork Roll from Wendy Williams and my husband and I tried scrapple in Atlantic City over the summer, what exactly is scarpple?

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  6. My husband had chicken stew (think cream of chicken soup, homemade) for breakfast yesterday, less out of desperation and more out of dedication to his home cooking.

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  7. If you have a nearby Costco, you could enquire about the cost for Edz’ meds. They let you get meds without being a member. I have done better with them 99% of the time. It’s wonderful that he’s getting relief, my old hips can relate.

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  8. I have rediscovered cereal and sugar in this, my quarantine. I baked and baked and baked some more. Then I ate it all. As of yesterday morning I cut myself off and am back on the wagon. Who are these people that can do moderation?

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  9. This is not weird but we tried some off-brand applesauce and it was intensely gross. I cannot always get my hands on Motts Applesauce and we eat it after dinner most of the time, but the generic brands are not tasty.

    Each of the kids had to research a meal they liked and then learn how to make it early on in the ‘stay home’ times when I still had energy to make them do shit. My college freshman does nothing but rave about the meals at his fraternity house and how great Chef Jim is. *Me eye rolling, as if I have only ever served hot dogs and canned pasta ’round here. Please!* Anyway, he looked up ‘dirty rice’ and made it. It was delish. That might not be weird, but I had never heard of it. I really do cook real meals most nights and my kids eat like kings. Talk of meat shortages has me in near panic mode, and I am fortunate not to panic easily.

    I am thinking about writing a post about the dinners I ate growing up, because when I describe them to my kids they bust a gut laughing. Half of it sounds like after school snacks to them vs actual dinner fare.

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  10. Cereal…I cannot get enough Chocolate and Peanut butter Cheerios. With almond milk, because FANCY. Also, I tried the extra crispy taquitos and all I can say is where has that been all my life-DELISH!
    And in unrelated news, I’ve gained 9 pounds since the Quarantine began.

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  11. We are stocked with groceries so we haven’t really been eating anything too crazy but I also have been inhaling Swiss Miss Cocoa. Bought a huge box on a whim when things started going crazy and have been loving it. Oh, the other unusual thing I have been eating is Yum Yum sauce. I bought a bottle of it at Sam’s again on a whim and have been eating copious amounts of rice and stir fry vegetables bathed in yum yum sauce.

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  12. P.S. I just had a conversation with my brother and he said rice is hard to find right now. Who knew? I’m trying to find soft soap, unscented without the anti-bacterial stuff.

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  13. If you have a AAA membership, you may be able to drop the price on Edsel’s meds (ask at the counter when you pick the meds up).

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    1. Also, GoodRX has it for pets, so that might help. Saved me tons of money with all the medications I used to get for my girl.

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      1. Yes; I tried it with the Eds, and found some $10 cheaper, but then there was a $5 shipping cost and it was going to be 4–5 days for shipping. Seemed not worth it in this case.

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  14. “…choosing a kale smoothie over mashed potatoes.” Nope. It’s great that you know the sample medication helps Edsel rather than spending your last $80something on meds, then you discover it doesn’t work. You are a great pet caregiver. You provide the best life possible for them.
    Tee

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  15. Google says: The main difference between a grasshopper and a cricket is that crickets tend to have long antennae, grasshoppers have short antennae. Crickets stridulate (“sing”) by rubbing their wings together, while grasshoppers stridulate by rubbing their long hind legs against their wings.

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    1. Huh. I always thought crickets were dark (almost black) while grasshoppers are more greenish/yellowish.
      Thank you, Google Deb, for an enlightening answer!

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  16. Since my Dad’s side of the family is all Checkoslovkia/Poland/We came thru Ellis Island’dy, I grew up hearing the word babushka on the regular. It always makes me laugh to hear another person say it who is not related to me. I have an obsession over Swiss Miss since Covid_19. I know it’s not unusual but it just wasn’t something I bought all the time and now I’m buying it two boxes at a time. Also too? Made my own taco seasoning from a Pinterest recipe- never buying the packet again!

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  17. Okay, so I realize it’s not likely that you have pine nuts on hand. But if you can get some, try this!
    Heat a glug of olive oil in a pan. Toss in some crushed garlic and salt. Cook, nudging at the garlic with your spatula while you wonder why anyone would WANT birds to suddenly appear just because their loved one was near. Isn’t that the plot of a horror movie? When the garlic gets sort of golden, put in a handful of cooked spaghetti and stir it around. Add some chopped basil and a palmful of pine nuts. Wonder why you ever ate anything else.

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  18. SPAM. I like it. I’ve always liked it.
    ” ‘Ere now dear, don’t make a fuss…I’ll ‘ave your SPAM, I love it”
    I will NOT, however, eat pancakes. No sir. Not in a boat, not with a goat.

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        1. I have been to the Spam Museum. It’s pretty great but I don’t remember there being any Spam carvings. I like regular Spam but the lesser popular flavors they had as samples were nasty.

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      1. I’ve been eating everything in my way, it’s ridiculous! I had two dinners the other night. And I’ve started drinking a glass of wine every night. This will not end well.
        My dog’s seizure medicine is 25$ every month, he will most likely need to get on old man hip medicine soon for another 50$. The joy of aging pets.

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