Ask day

Remember when Marcia Brady signed up for every extracurricular activity at school? That’s me right now with saying, “I’ll take it” to every assignment that comes up at work. I stopped at 7:30 last night and started again at 7:30 today.

But since I can’t stay—I’m just rushing in, eating a bit of your coffee cake and rushing back out—I think today should be ask day.

Is there a commenter you want to know more about? Anyone you wonder if they’re still around? In the comments, ask. Like, Hey, Sadie, why aren’t you on Facebook? or Hey, whatever happened to that one guy from the Netherlands who used to comment? Are you still here but silent?

I’ll talk to you tomorrow, after I’ve sprayed you all with my volcano model and decide I like ceramics.

P.S. You can ask me stuff too. I’ll just have to answer it when I’ve done all my work. I am totally shoving my bangs aside with the back of my hand that is holding a scrub brush right now.

90 thoughts on “Ask day

  1. I thought of a question. How do you introduce your male person when you are sixty and dating in a committed relationship? He doesn’t like boyfriend, says he hasn’t been one in a long time. Partner? Significant other? Someone asked why I need a title for him. It feels weird not to. We plan on moving to a retirement community and there will be a lot of people to meet. I feel like we need to figure it out. Do I simply say my guy, my his name? I miss being a wife for so long. It was simpler.

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    1. I like “my his name” for your sweet situation. I have a complicated family sort of situation with a young person. Although I am not his mom, I am often acting in loco parentis, so I usually say, “I’m with his name.”

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  2. I want to know what happened to Just Paula H&B. I mean, I know she still comments, but what happened to her?

    hahhaaaaaahaaa, sniff, I love myself so hard.

    I always think of things I want to ask, and then when you give us the go-ahead, I can’t remember any of them. From now on, I will just ask random questions here and there and hope you address them. Oh here’s one: in the time of The Virus, are you online chatting with anyone from dating sites?

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  3. What will you do first when all of this crud is over? I will go to my favorite coffee shop (if it still exists), get a coffee and read a book.

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    1. Going out for breakfast or lunch and shopping in thrift stores, consignment shops, boutique. The unique stuff I miss!

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  4. The first thing I thought of was Siren. There are a few here that I consider a tad more than blog associates. Miss Hulk as he was always funny. I also miss the old jokes we had about commentors. Also, this was the 2nd blog I read and I found it off a blog contest. Way back from the move away from Tiny Town. And as I always do, my question is, after the pandemic may I come visit?

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  5. Coot, I’m too lazy to drag out my “Big Book of June”. What kind of car do you have? I remember a yellow bug, a fiat, a cooper, and the rental mustang.

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    1. When I first started blogging in aught six, I had a navy blue VW Bug. Then we traded it in in 2008 for a yellow VW Bug for no discernable reason I can recall. Then I traded that in in 2015 for a yellow Mini Cooper. My Bug was in bad shape and I just really wanted a Mini Cooper. Then I traded that in in 2019 for a baby-blue Fiat for no reason other than I really really really loved that car. That got smashed two months later. Then I had a rental Mustang for several months. When the baby blue car returned, I still loved it so but was a sitting duck in that tiny thing. I was scared all the time. So I traded it in for… a used navy blue Fiat. It’s a 500C, which is a larger car, almost an SUV.

      The end.

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  6. Have your Migraines subsided? I haven’t seen you write about them as much lately. Hopefully you have found the cure.

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  7. Are you feeling better after the surgery? I know everyone is shocked to hear you had surgery! I sure hope all the pain and suffering solved the problem.
    Tee

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    1. I’m fine. I mean, a few times I’ve felt pee-y, but it passes. I enjoy that I had to get over being in an accident and all the driving fear and so on, only to then immediately have the pee-y/Ima die of bladder cancer debacle for four months, only to get that fixed and then?

      Pandemic.

      It’s been a relaxing six months.

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  8. Why is Mr. Texas buggin’ the daylights out of me? HE’S A WONDERFUL MAN! Yet, buggin’.

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    1. Must be going around the state. I just sent my husband to buy something from a store that I know for certain is out of that item. I need an hour, man.

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  9. Orange and chocolate is a big yes. Have you Orange Jaffa Cakes? They are available at British shops and Aldis has their own version too, especially around Christmas. They also come in chocolate and raspberry, my personal favorite. Almost any fruit and chocolate is heaven. I like pineapple, banana, pear, cherry. I loved chocolate covered strawberries but I am allergic to them. The Polish Deli here sells chocolate covered plums and they do be delicious as well. My other thing I love is Nutella spread slathered on fruit. I had the last of it on a ripe pear a couple of days ago. Oh, my YUM.
    I never intend to be mean or sparky but I can put my foot in my mouth way too easily and I know I am long winded and opinionated. I followed several blogs years ago, starting in 2008 when I got my first computer. This one has been my enduring favorite though I’ve come and gone a couple of times. I miss you when you take a break but I get it.

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    1. The Jaffa Cakes are sponge cake on the bottom, intensely flavored fruit jell in the middle and chocolate shell on the top. The first time I bought them I was stuck in traffic and ate the entire package because it is British (portion control is better), I was starving and they were crack to me.
      I did not ask a question because they were asked by others and answered.

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  10. I just read the comments about the people that have left blog, i will toss in my 2 pennies. People confuse social media :”friends” with real life friends. I try and think about it this way, if I work at a company with 50 people, I do not expect to like all 50. Maybe 10 at the most. On a social media platform, why on earth would we expect to agree with all 50? Why do people huff away when all 50 do not agree with them? All I know really know is, I like June and look forward to her posts. She has truly made me belly laugh.

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  11. What books, websites, etc. do you recommend for someone who is learning copyediting? All of my job skills have been waylaid by California’s new AB5 law.

    After getting separated my plan A was going back to transcription (nope – AB5). Plan B was content writing (nope – AB5). Plan C? Start going to school to become a court reporter. Yay! Hey, guess what? AB5. Plan D was just get an office job like a normal person. Aaaand… Corona.

    So, I came across a copyediting certificate program through UCSD that I’ve decided to do. Any advice or resources that you’d recommend?

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    1. Oh, I don’t, but I like that idea! I got into it by taking a proofreading test in 1997. There was an ad in the paper Marvin found, an ad looking for textbook proofreaders. He said, “You should try this” so I did. And that’s how I learned. But I think that’s a good way to get the skill!

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      1. That’s so cool. A ’90s ad in the paper is how I got started in transcription. The UCSD program doesn’t start until July, but I’ve been thinking about getting the Dummies guide just to have something.

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  12. You showed your work building lately here, was it at one time a school building? It looks very similar to one that was here.

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    1. No; it was, like many things here, once a mill. I live in a millhouse and drive to a mill. Well. I did.

      In our lobby at work, we have this huge wall cling that shows our very block 100 years ago. I find it fascinating.

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  13. Hi June, do you listen to any podcasts?

    If so, which ones, what kind of topics/themes? Also, where can I find new ones? Is there a catalog of the best ones?

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    1. I don’t like podcasts. I wish I did. I get impatient with the Um-ing and the “Okay. So. What’re we doing today… Oh!” thing.

      I do listen to Emily Freeman’s podcast, The Next Right Thing, when I’m driving long distances. Always makes me cry a bit.

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      1. My daughter played a podcast about Old Hollywood scandals when we were driving out of town and I wanted to SCREAM because the woman doing the podcast spoke in an overly dramatic voice plus she had too long of a pause in between every single word and I wanted to reach through my car stereo and bludgeon that bitch to death.

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    2. Hi Carol, I listen to Podcasts, I really like Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert, he interviews a lot of celebrities if you are into that thing but I think he is a great interviewer. He is in AA so has done a lot of self reflecting which seems to help. I also like the Secret Room where people share secrets that are sometimes scandalous! June, Bitch Sesh is a podcast where they talk about the Real Housewives that I love. I also listen to Happier by Gretchen Rubin and This American Life.

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      1. I listen to Sibling Revelry which is Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson exploring sibling relationships. I find it fascinating, as an only child. Keep in mind they are interviewing famous/accomplished siblings, not two jamokes from Jersey with a dozen cats and a lot of unresolved family history. Now THAT would be interesting. Anyway, Kate is always very prepared and well-spoken, not a lot of Ums and Ers, and she has prepared questions. Oliver, I swear, wakes up, takes a bong hit and joins the interview where he interrupts everyone. I still enjoy it and once in a while Momma Goldie will pop in looking for a grandchild or a dog. Hard to tell with the names.

        I also listen to Young House Love Has A Podcast. John and Sherry are a young DIY couple who have bought several homes in dire need of work and restored them. They aren’t flippers, per se, they live and/or rent out what they buy. But now they have just sold everything and are downsizing to a teeny house on the Florida panhandle, that I swear to God, is a bona fide dump. (They also have wordy blog with zillions of pictures.) They are very upbeat and chatty. I am still trying to get over the fact that the house they recently sold in Richmond, a huge, beautifully renovated house on a lot of land, sold for $150,000 LESS than the shitpot they bought in Florida on a dot of land. I know, LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. A block from the beach. Nice, but I’d’ve gone for a functioning toilet first.

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        1. I listen to YHL too!
          I also listen to How I Built This and The Way of Love. One is interviews with people who have built all kinds of businesses. The other is with the Episcopal Presiding Bishop Michael Curry of royal wedding fame.
          These 3 are very different from each other! They all have a hopeful, positive tone and a high production value (no umm-ing)

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          1. Don’t tell YHL I called their new house a dump!! They’ve already made significant improvements. I just don’t have their “eye,” how they can see what it can be. I wish I had that vision.

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      2. I love Armchair Expert. I really enjoyed the one with his mother! Sometimes I have never heard of the guest and end up fascinated. Each podcast is the best part of two hours and I catch up with them when I (used to) drive the four hours to visit my mother. That’s a whole other thing; she is 95 and in assisted living lockdown. Fortunately, she is very easygoing and is just rolling right along with her life.

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  14. I often wonder about Pamela Soul Sister and there was a Dana from WNY which is where I live, I used to comment as DG from Niagara Falls now I just do DG. Not sure why….I just got paranoid. That SUCKS about Amish et al, You know sometimes I feel myself being snarky in my head to something on the blog and then I slap myself with a fish and remind myself that it is so brave to share so much of yourself and I will only respond with kindness as I don’t have the balls to do what you do. One day my husband said something about writing well and saying I should have a blog and I said I only like ones where people are authentic and I do not want to share my life like that. I am also not on any social media, except linkedin which my work wants me on.

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    1. Ah, I see the last time she commented was February. See? People come and go, man. Half the time I don’t know why. 90% of the time I don’t know why. I figure there’s only so much of one person’s life you can read about before it gets {yawn}.

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    2. P.S. Oooo, what sorts of snarky things do you want to say? I have an Instagram friend who, right when this whole pandemic started, traveled across the country to a family reunion, as did many, many of her relatives. They all flew in from every which way to join a BUNCH OF VERY OLD PEOPLE for a family reunion. She literally wrote, “What virus?”

      Now she’s all “be safe” all the time and it’s ALL I CAN DO not to leave a bitchy comment.

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      1. When you get all crazy over illnesses I sometimes roll my eyes and think get over yourself, then like I said, I mentally slap myself because I greatly appreciate you sharing your inner thoughts. Or when you get overly irked at someone I think June, you don’t know what that person is going through! Then I get off my high horse because we are not perfect.

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          1. I don’t ever get irked at anything on the not blog, which is so unlike me. I am easily exhausted by people in real life, so reading about yours is perfect for me.

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      2. I have SO MANY social media “friends” (who are we kidding – we’re all just comparing notes to see who did better with their life after high school) who were all sanctimonious over the whole “safer at home” business… in the beginning. And then they got REALLLLLLY quiet. Why? Because it was Easter and they spent the holiday with their family. Or they wanted a hair cut and their neighbor said “hey come on over… I’m cutting hair in my basement again”. Or they were able to get into the nursing home to visit their mom on her birthday. How do I know these things? My mom still lives in the same small town where everyone knows everything about everybody. I SO BADLY want to say “oh… so everyone ELSE should stay home so YOU can safely do the things that make YOU happy?” But I refrain. Just not worth it right now.

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        1. I am legit staying home. I’ve had two or three visits in my back yard, where we sit way apart and I don’t even touch the lawn chair for three days after and I wiped down the fence latch like Howard Hughes.

          I have also had a couple walks with my neighbors where we walk 6 feet apart. That’s totally it. Am I the only one who is following the rules?

          >

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          1. No. You’re not the only one. I haven’t been out since it all started, with the exception of pick up at the grocery and a doctor appointment because I came down with the shingles. Mask on each time when out I had to go out. It’s getting old because it’s time to plant flowers and annual vacation with kids and grandkids.

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          2. I am following the rules like it’s the law. I grocery shop every other week with my mask. I’ve been to the lab and Dr. office and Walgreens for drugs and that’s it. I’ve had a few people stop by and they get no farther than my driveway. Overkill? Maybe, but it’s just not worth the risk.

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          3. I am thankful to have been able to work from home this whole time. Have only been to grocery store and to deliver my fathers groceries to him. Wiping everything down, throwing away bags, putting in clean trash bags to deliver to him etc. (online ordering and delivery not option for him). Had a zoom meeting with extended family last night with some in N.C. and some in GA and Fl. All doing the same- not going out. The family in GA is not going out although their state opened up.

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          4. Dear June,
            Yes.

            Did you see the report out of New York – 66% of all those who ended up in the hospital were people who reported they were sheltering in place. I was like “of COURSE they were”. These are people who SAID they were SIP, but, like all my “friends”, were still doing the things that really mattered TO THEM and then promptly assuring themselves that they were “following the rules”. One said friend reported that she just had to go see her grandson so she wore a raincoat and he wrapped up in a blanket and then they could hug and spend time together. Uh… ok? My 80 year old mother SWEARS she goes no where… my secret cellphone tracking tells the real story. People are very bad witnesses to their own life is what I’m saying. You don’t contract a virus sitting by yourself in your own house people. This is why the “science” on this thing is going to be totally messy. You can’t rely on people to be accurate or honest, especially when we’ve been conditioned to feel guilty about “non-essential” activity. Like going to work.

            Although my experience with you tells me that you are 100% accurately reporting your activit,y since you can reliably relate where you were on a particular date in 1984. You are the exception that proves the rule.

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            1. That’s true. I’m Marilu Henner. Other than how I forgot I went to the vet a few weeks ago.

              But, like, even if a New Yorker sheltered in place, you still have to go outside to let the dog pee or get food or what have you. You’d touch the elevator buttons and the door handle and even getting the mail you’d have to touch eleventy things. I would Howard Stern the SHIT out of my life if I lived there.

              Every day the mailman shoves mail through my door slot and every day I Clorox the mail slot. That’s pretty much my only involvement with touching things daily, and then I have groceries delivered and I AM A SURGEON about sanitizing every item.

              What I mean is sheltering in place is pretty straightforward for me, but not for a New Yorker.

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              1. I go to my office twice a week. I am the only one there and see maybe two other people in the entire building. I wear a mask, which, btw, is wreaking havoc on my earring backs. (That’s an unexpected COVID-related expense right there, more earring backs.) Anyway, I am otherwise staying home. I haven’t been anywhere, but I’m not highly social anyway and usually look for reasons not to go places. I have had to reschedule a dentist appointment (my implant screw fell out), vet appointments, doctor appointments and my gynecologist appointment. My gynecologist offered a virtual appointment, but I will not be doing that over ZOOM, thank you very much.

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  15. June- what did you study in college? Assuming you met the qualifications, what other job would you want to do? Oh, and do you ever read other blogs? And if so which ones? 😉

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    1. I majored in English. I was gonna be a journalism major but the school was full.

      I really don’t read other blogs. I know that’s awful. I don’t know why I still have a blog, really. My heyday was back in like 2012 or something. But my goal was never to get followers. I just liked writing most days. So even though blogging is way dead and I have half the readers I once had, I still do it.

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  16. I often wonder about Letha and Amish Annie. Are they now lurkers? Or have they gone away completely? I miss them.

    I do NOT like fruit in my cookies or my chocolate. Why ruin a good thing with nutrients? I DO like chocolate dipped strawberries though. There is always an exception to every rule.

    Lovely idea for a post, lovely June!

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    1. I was in a smaller Facebook group with Letha and Amish. Back when I left this blog and Facebook for a bit—when was that? 2018? I left for a few months in I think 2018. When I came back, I couldn’t wait to see all the funny things that smaller group had been discussing. They were always so hilarious! So I got on that page and scrolled down through the months.

      Both of them said shit about me. To say I was stung was, well, I was stung.

      When I wrote to them to ask what was up, I got vague answers like, “I’m not mad at you but I say what I’m thinking.” Well, no you don’t. Cause I just asked what you were thinking and that was your whole reply. I’ve literally got no idea what you’re thinking. Why are you talking about me in a negative way? I don’t understand what I did.

      It’s not always easy to have a blog and to sometimes get mean comments and to see people talking shit about you on Reddit and so on. I mean, some days I can do it and some days I cannot. That time I left for a few months was a “cannot” time. What I surmise is they took it personally. Like, they took it as a personal affront that I left social media for awhile.

      It wasn’t personal. It wasn’t about them.

      That’s my perspective on where they went.

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        1. I think they are nice. We all screw up with that sort of shit sometimes. If they’d have just talked to me about it honestly after, things would be okay. But they just sort of left. So.

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          1. Ugh. That’s sad. I think we sometimes forget that we are all real people with real feelings, not just words on a. computer screen. I’m gonna guess they were embarrassed… at least that’s what I would imagine I would feel if I got caught being bitchy. Many years ago I had to have conversations with my kids about being careful about what you put in writing – back then it was IMing people – because you really don’t know who is on the other side of that computer screen and what they might do with your written communication. You talk smack about Sally to Jane and it takes Jane just one second to share that with Sally. My daughter summed it up with “In other words Mom, only gossip in person”. Precisely.

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  17. Why aren’t I on Facebook? Too stressful. I’ll just sit here quietly drinking my coffee and reading your not-blog. And yes to chocolate and orange. When I actually shopped at the grocery store before all this craziness and made an impulse buy, it would always be Lindt orange intense dark chocolate. Now that I’ve discovered on-line ordering, I seem to forget about my impulse buys. Thanks for reminding me.

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  18. Is Siren still here with a different name? How is Hulk? Does the Atlanta Pie Group still get together?

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    1. I think Siren left awhile back. Any time I contact her she’s very friendly and welcoming. I think maybe we over-mothered her here and it freaked her out.

      As for the Atlanta group, I don’t think they’ve met for a few years but I’m not 100% sure of that! That was fun when they did that.

      Hulk left Facebook awhile back but he and I still talk and when we do it’s ridiculous as ever. I don’t know if he reads this blog or not anymore.

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    2. I read Sirens entire blog when it was up. I still think about her or something in her stories about her life at least once a month. Like the fox mom and babies. And the tattoos.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I miss Siren, too. She is to be either credited or blamed (your choice) for finally making me brave enough to comment. And all these years later, I never shut up.

        I was just thinking of her this week when the cardinal eggs in a nest on my neighbor’s front porch just hatched and I remembered Siren’s documentation of the eggs hatching in a nest on her property.

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    1. Are we still talking to me? I’ve lived with women before. Take my friend Paula (not the commenter Paula). We were friends, we moved in together, we grew to hate each other, I moved out, we were friends IMMEDIATELY once I was in my apartment.

      In short, no. I think I do better living alone. This whole pandemic where I’ve been mostly without human contact? I adore it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Speaking of Living with Paulas, while I ADORE you June, you and I would be Grace & Frankie. Only worse. And without the cosmetic surgeries and Botox. I would make you insane within an hour. I have that gift.

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          1. I’m just trying to figure out which one of you would be Grace and which one Frankie.

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  19. What is your favorite type of store-bought cookie, and why? And, as a follow up, were you to bake, what cookie would you bake, and why?
    ~Kevin

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    1. Are you asking me this? Also, who is supposed to be over there copy editing a deck right now? Is it me?

      I enjoy an Orange Milano. Orange and chocolate is such a fine combination, and I like the slidey texture.

      Also, if I were to BAKE??

      BAKE?!?!

      Chocolate chip. Heavy on the chip, yes to nuts.

      Liked by 3 people

        1. Ooh why have I never thought of that? Does it change the texture too much? Could you use orange extract instead? Now my brain is thinking about ingredients I have or don’t have right now. Must make these!

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          1. I don’t know about the Jerusalem Market on Elm, but the one on Gate City Blvd. has dark chocolate covered orange peel – OMG!! Talk about delicious!!! Worth the migraine!!

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        1. Cannoli cookies taste exactly like the cookie version of those chocolate oranges and are SO GOOD. I only allow myself to make them around Christmas time because otherwise I’d eat them for every meal. (Google Cannoli Cookies Fine Cooking to find the recipe if you’re so inclined.)

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