I don’t even know how many years it’s been now, but I’m going to say circa 2014. Back when my boss, fmr., and I sat next to each other. I don’t know who decided THAT was a good idea, although I know it seems to make sense that a supervisor would sit next to his, you know, staff.
But my boss, fmr., has the ADD, and I have the ADD, and the problem with two people with the ADD is they can, you know, lose focus. And that is why some days my boss, fmr., and I would get off on a tangent that would last 32 hours. There was another copy editor at work at the time, called The Other Copy Editor, who did NOT have the ADD. She also sat right next to us, and she lasted there about a year.
My point is, one day I got on the pressing topic of the very old song Ode to Billy Joe. As you do.
For no discernible reason, my boss insisted they weren’t throwing a baby off the bridge in that song.
Everybody knows they threw a baby off the bridge in that song.
This devolved into an 8-hour argument between boss, fmr., and me, while The Other Copy Editor surreptitiously perused jobs on Glassdoor.
Can you look for jobs on Glassdoor? Whatever.
I told this story to you at the time, and we spent all day talking about this ridiculous song, and punctuating every thought with, “Pass the biscuits, please” and since then June 3rd’s become the Official Holiday of Book of June®.
And that’s why I mention it. Hi.
Other than that, hey, country, how’s your country? Geez. Things are … why are things so bad? We ought to just throw ourselves off the Tallahatchee Briiiiidge.
Speaking of which, there is a blogger who is way famouser than me, seeing as I am not famous at all. But she is, at least in blog world, and she seems to be passing through a crisis. I saw that in a movie once. One of the characters said, “I am passing through a crisis” and then she dabbed perfume on her temples. She was French so she got away with it.
It’s concerning. She seems to be doing not well at all. And what I keep hearing is, “She’s just doing it for the attention.”
I enjoy attention. I find it exhilarating. Attention is my bag.
I remember back when I was single [Dear June: You are still single.] I remember back when I was first single, I dated this guy for just a few months. I featured him here a few times. Once he was at a store and someone recognized him. This was when I had probably twice the readers I do now, so it was more likely. Now I could be dating George Jetson and no one would take notice.
I like how my exciting celebrity example is George Jetson.
Anyway, he called me and told me being recognized was “intoxicating.” That was right about when I stopped liking him, but the POINT is it happens. At least it does for me. And my date, fmr.
Speaking in front of a group is like a high for me. I like it.
I have all the qualities people don’t like. A love of attention, a flair for drama, a quick temper. Hey, I’m still single! Why?
But I’m saying this because as someone who loves attention, I don’t get why saying you’re depressed or suicidal is dismissed as wanting attention. I’m trying to put myself in her place and it seems to me if you felt that way you’d feel extremely desperate. Like, you’d feel at the end of your rope and at the same time not wanting to feel that way. So wouldn’t you, you know, tell people in hopes you could get relief?
Anyway that’s how I see it. I seem to notice people get angry and dismissive when other people are passing through a crisis [dabs perfume]. Is it because they have never felt that way? Or because they kept it to themselves when they did and don’t see why everyone doesn’t do that? What’s the anger? Is it fear that it will happen to them?
Why do people sit around the lunch table and dismiss suicide and someone not having a lick of sense? Pass the biscuits, please.
Girl, what’s happened to your appetite?