June's stupid life

Vote on June’s StitchFix. Yes, again.

by June

Last time I spoke with the fine Stitchers at StitchFix, I told them I wasn’t going to be going anywhere for like a year, so be sure to send me shit I can lounge around in. Man, did they deliver. Without further ado, let’s look at my box.

Harrr.

Let’s look at my package.

Harrr–oh, I give up.

First of all, you’ve no idea how hard it is to take a full-body photo of yourself. At no time do I care that I live alone except during StitchFix photographing time, or whenever there’s a cat on me and I want more coffee. I just noticed Milhous having a midday smackerel back there, oblivious to my struggle.

What I was TRYINA show you were these workout pants, which I note already have a dog hair on them, and next time I’m getting one of those hairless dogs. Those are so … attractive. I had asked for workout pants because I have like three pair and only one is decent. The other is ripped and the other has paint on it.

I know someone’s gonna say, OH MY GOD IT COSTS, but look up workout leggings, man.

Okay, next I tried to show you a t-shirt that has buttons up the back, and I pretty much went all over the house to photograph them, and as you know everywhere I walk Edsel follows me like I’m a cave man and he’s my tribe, and say, June, how did your history of man classes go? Hey, June, were they even called history of man or did you just invent a class?

Here’s one nice attempt, and won’t you enjoy my sports bra? I had m’trainer.

See? Buttons. I used to date this one guy and whenever I said, “So…” he’d say, “Buttons.”

We broke up.

Finally, I placed the phone in my cupboard, propped it up with ridiculous fragile china items, GOT A STEPLADDER (I never knew my real ladder) and stood on it, resulting in one goddamn halfway okay photo of the damn t-shirt.

We move on now to stripes. One test I give men online is to ask them what their favorite Bill Murray movie is. If they say Stripes or Caddyshack, I know Ima hate them. If they say that one pretentious movie with Gwyneth Paltrow I would probably like them okay.

Lost in Translation? There’s m’soulmate.

Much like Stripes the movie didn’t do much for me, I don’t think this shirt is doing me any favors.

Not to be short with you, but they sent me shorts. I haven’t worn shorts since I turned 40, as I saw on Oprah or Dr. Phil or some show that you shouldn’t. But here I am considering shorts a month from my 55th bday.

And for the long finish, they sent me a dark-blue maxidress. To wear at my maxi pad. What say you? (I welcome you to once again enjoy my sports bra.)

I look forward to your many votes and comments about how Marshall’s is cheaper.

Love,
June

59 thoughts on “Vote on June’s StitchFix. Yes, again.”

  2. You look great in that dress!! And I’m not even gay!
    The buttons in the back of the shirt bother me. A) How would it be comfortable to lean back in a chair? B) They remind me of a baby onesie.

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  3. I voted yes on the shorts, but just because they look cute. I got shorts in my last StitchFix box, and they also looked cute, but I sent them back because I would be relentlessly uncomfortable in them. But if you’re comfortable, they do look cute.
    Stitch Fix has been pissing me off lately. They keep sending me long sleeves and dark colors, and ffs, it’s JUNE. Can I get a t-shirt in here? My last box had a dark navy, 3/4 sleeve knit top. WITH HORIZONTAL STRIPES. I gave cranky comments, because it’s the third box in a row that I’ve said “Hey, could I please have summery stuff?” Also, they keep sending me bags, and it’s just cruel because I can’t say no. I put my foot down and told them no more bags.
    That blue maxi? GORGEOUS.
    I am sorry about my deep affection for caps lock tonight. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

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  4. Your striped shirt reminded me of when I was first pregnant, oh so long ago, and someone gave me a cute maternity shirt and I was still in the Navy (this IS relevant), so one day I was going into the barracks (because I lived there because I was – gasp – still single) and the guy standing watch at the quarterdeck (who was DEFINITELY Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell material) presaged Queer Eye for the Straight Guy by shaking his head at me and saying, “Horizontal stripes are NOT flattering.”

    Also, YES, I’m going to say you can get much better-looking leggings at Amazon for cheaper. I did, however, vote yes on everything but the leggings and the striped shirt. I’m not a hater.

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  5. Everything looked good, but I voted no on the striped shirt, because I just wasn’t super jazzed about it.

    My favorite was the dress! You must get the dress, it looks pretty, and comfortable. Just the thing for summer!

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  6. I like it all except the shorts. I think you will be miserable in shorts that short. Otherwise buy everything else! My favorite is the grey tee. I think you’ll wear that a lot.

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  7. I like everything but the stripes and I despise horizontal stripes anyway. Being short and plus sized they do me no favors. I feel like they only flatter the tiniest people. Those leggings are flattering. That button shirt is super unique and that maxi dress is very elegant. Last of all I like the shorts and I want to kick whoever wants to age restrict shorts in the twat or the nads. Everyone gets hot! My almost 82 year old mother wears shorts! She looks fine in them too. I wore them rarely when I was seventy pounds bigger, I was huge on Capris or mumus then. I wear them now and I have a varicose vein that causes a swollen leg. Tough shit, don’t like it, don’t look. Enjoy the body you’ve worked for June. You look geat in all the good clothes.

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  8. You look fabulous. I voted yes for everything but the stripes, I think. The stepladder comment slays me.

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  9. This was a nice Stitch, Fix. Get everything for the discount and take that stripey thing to the seamstress to remove the duck tail.

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  10. Well, you’re still working and not going out shopping, so you can afford these things. If you like the leggings, keep them. If the shorts make you feel good, keep those as well. As long as you have good looking legs, show them off. And as long as you live in North Carolina with summer upon us. I envy those arms! Mine looked that good ten years ago. Get that dress as long as you’re happy with the fit. I’d get it and wear it around the house just for a lift. Except I’d have to trade my long-haired tan cat for a black one when so attired.

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    1. Stepladder !!!!! Come for the clothes and kittens but stay for the laughs. I think you looked great in the shorts – also very jealous of you rocking the maxi dress. I’m 5’3 and dresses all look like nightgowns or me looking like Stevie Nicks having a bad acid trip.

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  13. When I was growing up, my Mother’s retort to “So?” was “Sew buttons on your underwear. Zippers are out of style.” I haven’t thought of that in years, so thanks, I think? Love the dress, leggings and the shorts!

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    1. Now that you mentioned it, I’m reminded that as kids we would say, “Sew buttons on your underwear”, but never heard the part about zippers.

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  14. Honestly, if I’m dropping more than $75 on leggings, they gotta be LuLuLemon. Because I know that company is problematic, but damn they make my ass look great. And they have those side pockets for my phone that I love so much.

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  16. I vote yes on all except the stripey shirt. Like you with your no Oprah shorts, somebody once told me never to wear horizontal stripes and it guess it stuck. I’m 43 and wear shorts, so piss off fake Dr. Phil.

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  17. I voted yes on everything! Cute stuff. May as well treat yourself since it’s the last month of 54.

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  18. Peoples! Pink Shoes are clearly the scene stealers here. Omfg cuteness.
    Please no details on who made them bc reality spoils everything. I just want the dream.

    Ya know, I never look at the price of your Fix clothes. I zero in on the important stuff, like your cool ceiling medallion thingy. The radness! (And good leggings are worth any price.)

    Never knew my real ladder has me dead.

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  19. My opinion on the leggings. Cost per wear people. If I am living in them for the next year and they fit good and hold up well the price is fine. Things I wear a lot I’ll pay more for and limited wear items I go to T.J.Maxx or Marshalls.

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  20. Love the gray top. The shorts look cute and you have great legs. I voted no on the dress but only because I couldn’t tell how well it fit on top plus bra situation is such a pain. And no on the striped shirt with the weird extension. It’s like a paper towel dispenser in a public restroom. It’s just sticking out there for all to grab.

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  21. I want to know about the pink shoes! Comfy leggings are worth a hefty price. I have REALLY long ones I paid an arm and a leg for, but they’ve lasted years. Company’s gone, so I’m screwed. Thanks for sharing.

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  23. I was puzzled to see so many no votes for the shorts. Don’t you want some for when you have to be in the yard for more than like 6 seconds? It hot.

    I used to believe pigtails on any gal north of 11 was a problem, but here I am at 34 french braid pig tailing my hair every chance I get to keep it the frick out of my face/periphery. ::Fred Armisen as Joy Behar adjusting her shoulder pads:: so what who cares? Live your life.

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  25. That was smart to ask for loungewear. I definitely need to reboot that part of my closet.

    I think you get what you pay for, especially with leggings. Here’s the real test: 1) bend over in the mirror…does it thin out across your backside, showing things you don’t want seen? If ‘yes’, they’re a fail; send them back. If ‘no’, move to #2… 2) Does the top roll down throughout the day? Bend, twist, reach, etc., and see how the waistband responds. If it rolls, they’re a fail; send them back.

    I left comments on specific polls for other things I felt strongly about. Can’t wait to hear what you decide!

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  27. I almost fainted at the $84 for leggings! (I’m very frugal.) They look great, but the cost. I’ve seen leggings at Sam’s Warehouse at a much better price. That was before the lockdown, so I’m not sure if they are still available. I’ve only been to Sam’s once since the virus started and I wasn’t in there to look at clothes. I ran through there at the speed of light to buy some food. This is the best selection of clothes yet.

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  28. There are no workout leggings worth $48 unless you are planning on running outside in zero degrees and need extra insulation. Take it from me as I’ve bought all kinds from $5 to $150. Don’t do it!

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  30. Those leggings are a bit pricey, but occasionally in life you run into magical leggings that have powers other leggings simply don’t have. If that’s the case BUY THEM, and then figure out how to buy some more!
    Remember the meme:
    Jeans: Ugh, you ate too much!
    Leggings: I got you, girrrl!

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  31. Like you, I wonder about shorts for myself, but Old Navy has 7″ shorts this year (unlike the 1/2″ shorts they USUALLY sell) and they actually cover some flab on my legs. You can order online or put on a mask and run into the store REALLY QUICKLY!!

    Also, I found the BEST leggings ever on Amazon – I wouldn’t have believed it. A woman I follow on Instagram recommended them and she was RIGHT!! Here’s the info:LEGGINGS DEPOT
    Leggings Depot High Waisted Leggings -Soft & Slim – Solid Colors & 1000+ Prints
    https://amzn.to/30OnCyS

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  35. Costco – leggings are so much cheaper there. In fact, I am such a fashion plate that I buy most of my clothes there – if I can’t find anything I like while thrift shopping.

    Laurie in NB, Canada

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  36. Everything but Stripes. LOVE that dress! And sure, Marshall’s may be cheaper, but it comes with a bonus of corona, especially bc it takes so damned long to sort through their racks!
    (I wear Target’s Champion leggings, so it’s not like I am a fashion icon over here in my home office)
    (I’m also just shy of 62 and I wear shorts, so .. buttons….)

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    2. These look awesome! I love the pocket for the phone. I have a couple with that feature and I’ve started hating my others that don’t have it.

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      1. Good heavens, that thank you was to Audra Volpi for the Amazon tip. I get my every day’s from Lands End and love them. They look like new for years.

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