And the princess had proofreading

I’m gonna tell you about this day.

I work with a person who is just great. She’s so organized. Last week, on the 9th, whenever that was, she said, “June, next Tuesday, Ima need you all day long. I’ve already gotten the permissions and go-aheads and blessings and the Pope has been here to wave his hand around.”

OK, I said. Then on Friday, whatever day that was, I said, “We’re still on for Tuesday?”

“Yep. All day. If you can’t get it done Tuesday, you have till Wednesday morning to finish up.”

I reminded the other copy editors yesterday. “I’m on an all-day project tomorrow, don’t forget.”

When I woke up this morning, my first thought was, Somebody’s gonna give me work to do even though I have an all-day assignment. I was psychic or something. I was Dionne Warwick. And sure enough, when I logged on today, there were already several messages. “June, can you do this?” “Hey, June, this here’s for later today.” “June?” “Say, June.” “Oh, Juuuuuune…”

And so on.

I kept having to write back. “Just a reminder that I’m booked ALL DAY today.”

There’s a scene in Sex and the City, where Charlotte calls Samantha, and Samantha says, “Charlotte, I told you. I’m going to be masturbating. ALL DAY. I told you I’d be doing that.”

I kept thinking of that every time I sent that message.

So anyway, the organized person sent me the work when she said she would, and did I mention she’s a dream? She sent me the Very Large Assignment, and let me tell you it was large, Marge. And detailed. I was working on it all day. I told you I’d be doing that.

So I started, and I worked, and I wrote, “I’m booked ALL DAY” messages as they came in, prodding at me via email and our chat feature and a singing telegram from a singer dressed as Chef-Boy-Ar-Dee. I worked through lunch, and I worked through dinner.

At 5:30, when a normal person might be winding down for the day, there was a knock on my door. “You got the paint?”

It was my neighbor. I’d forgotten that this was the day he was coming to start to paint my porch ceiling. So I got out the paint and the brushes and the tape and the tray and the Pope and the Chef Boy-Ar-Dee.

We dragged the furniture off the porch, and he undid the fan from the ceiling, and I washed the blades and then I ran back in to keep working.

I got a message. “Can you finish the work tonight?”

Tonight? I thought I … I thought I had till morning. Oh, dear.

Just then, PING!

A reminder that I had my trainer in 10 minutes. SON OF A …

I spoke to the person in charge of the work I was doing. “Oh, do your trainer,” she said. “It’ll help your energy. Can you get the work done by 9:30?” I really like the person in charge of the work, and my job so rarely asks me to work late, so I said OK. I worked out with my trainer, and taking my delicious water back to the laptop, I began working again.

“Hey, June, do you have a rag?” asked the guy who was painting my ceiling.

I got a rag.

“I just need a bucket.”

I got the bucket. I also kicked the bucket, so stressed was I. Elizastress, I’m comin’ to join ya, honey.

PING!

“Hey, June!”

Oh, SON OF A FUCKING …

I had a DATE tonight. A DATE. We were supposed to meet up and I’d 100% forgotten. I told him what was happening over there, as I tried to copy edit and message him at the same time lest I miss my 9:30 deadline.

Oh, lort. There goes the end of that fairytale romance. And the princess had proofreading, and they lived happily estranged forever.

So that’s rescheduled, allegedly, and I just settled down to panickedly return to work when

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

WHAT? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT?

“Hello, June, I’m the camera doorbell person you scheduled for this time 20 days ago back when life was sedate.”

And that is when I ran an ax clean across my own head.

I got rid of that guy, returned to my work, and after a relaxing 13-hour day I uploaded the job.

It wouldn’t upload.

I tried again.

It wouldn’t upload.

I took the ax out of my head and tried again, ready to weep.

Finally I sent it a different way and the person in charge of the work got it, and wrote me back five minutes later.

“It came through all messed up. Can we go through it together?”

Before I was able to go out and throw myself off a building, she wrote back. “Oh, it came through okay the second time! Thanks, June!”

And that is my day so far. It’s only 9:43. Any number of other things could happen, and let me tell you I warmly embrace them all.

45 thoughts on “And the princess had proofreading

  1. Lovely hectic post, pretty June! What a vicious circle – hope more people used your company’s funnel today if you were busy again (but probably not since no one likes being told no and it’s easier to do the runaround).

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  2. What is wrong with the people you work with?!? I would be so pissed at them for bothering me when I already TOLD them I was booked ALL DAY. Days like that are awful.

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    1. It’s a huge company, so person on team A won’t know I have an all-day commitment with team U. However, there’s a person they’re supposed to ask about my availability–they are not supposed to ask me. THAT is what drives me berserk.

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      1. Are you getting paid for doing their work or are they, the ones bypassing the directorofwork person?
        How about a preworded prewritten sentence you can send them to point them his/her(director of work) person’s way? Like the message you get when someone is on vacation that tells you they are unavailable during such and such a time and will get back to you on date certain.
        Good night dearie.

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  3. I read your blog last night but didnt comment. Later, in bed, I woke up with the thirst of a thousand deserts and all I could think of was your delicious water. You really are an influencer Joob.

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  4. Clearly there was something in the air as I had almost the exact same day. I wont go into it as it is YOUR blog and I’m not over it enough yet to be witty. All I can say is it can only go up from here.

    CommandoBarbie

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  5. Whoa. Had to do deep breathing exercises while reading this one. Is second hand stress a thing? Hope things calm down eventually. (Also way to go awesome neighbor!)

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    1. God, you’re all obsessed with the date. I date, you guys.

      Yes, we planned to keep distant, wear masks, and do something like go for a walk. It’s how you plague date.

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  6. Now that it is over, did you wonder if you were being punked? Or an early birthday present, what better to give a copy editor for her birthday than copy editing.
    I need to thank you for keeping me sane during this insane time. Thank you for being here for me. You just don’t know how you help.

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  7. If I’m stressed just reading about your day, I can’t imagine how awful it was for you and then the work wouldn’t upload! L. in CA imagined the ax in your head with the handle in the back, but I saw it with the handle in the front. Not only would the blade be in your head, you’d be annoyed at the handle making you crossed-eyed looking at it.

    And, yes, I thought about Just Paula racing through your post getting more stressed as she read. Here’s to a better day today.

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  8. You SURVIVED! AND got your ceiling painted and your doorbell rung! Knowing you the pets weren’t ignored either! You ROCK!

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  9. This has been nagging at me all night:
    “There’s a scene in Sex and the City, where Charlotte calls Samantha, and Samantha says, ‘Charlotte, I told you. I’m going to be masturbating. ALL DAY. I told you I’d be doing that.'”
    All day? Didn’t Samantha get a cramp in her hand?
    PLUS ALSO TOO, am I the only one suddenly getting ads in my IG feed for a sucking vibrator? AND WHY? I didn’t search “sucking” or “vibrator.” Although now that I’ve typed it here, God knows what will show up. Can’t we just go back to the ads for online yoga classes for old farts? The stairs for dachshunds?

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  10. OH MY GOODNESS! Those are days we all can do without. S T R E S S S S. I bet Paula already needs a nerve pill (I haven’t read the comments yet). I hope the nice person realizes you jumped through many, many hoops to get the job done. The porch ceiling is going to be beautiful!!! Your house and yard are so lovely. I hope today is much less stressy.

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  11. OK now I have an image in my mind of you smiling in a photo… hair perfect as usual but with an ax blade embedded in your head and the handle hanging back there jauntily like a coonskin cap.

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  12. I read this and thought of Paula H&B the WHOLE time! Hopefully tomorrow is much better, work-wise, though that crowd standing and waiting on your unpainted front porch doesn’t bode well for you.

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  13. Ha ha – Yes, this was pretty darn stressful! Whew. I had a day like that yesterday. Don’t you wonder – how the heck it happens. You try to get it all in and then – wham. You will probably be dying of boredom by Thursday. Love your porch and can’t wait to see it painted….

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  14. So much for boring pandemic-ish days. Glad you survived. Is the date with the guy that came by (was it to fix something?) – the one with the dog that your mother said you should date?

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  15. My Lord you must be exhausted! I’M exhausted. “Delicious water” made me laugh.
    Clearly everyone you know has heard one of my mom’s favorite old sayings: If you want something done, ask a busy person!
    Maybe tomorrow will be s l o w e r.

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  16. they lived happily estranged forever

    We had a handyman once that used the classic Foreigner song “Urgent” as a ringtone, and I heard that in my head through this entire post.

    Lovely post, lovely June

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  17. I read this post in a frantic and stressful fashion, much like I’m sure you intended it to be read.
    How stressful.

    Good luck with the doorbell guy. I shooed him off my porch yesterday.

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