Lily injured me last night and it’s so cringey and disgusting that I won’t tell you how.
OK, I will.
She was on the coffee table and was trying to lug her girth over to the couch, which for a cat should be easy. (I guess I should have alerted you I was speaking of Lily my cat rather than Lilly my friend. Lilly my friend has no girth and she certainly wasn’t trying to leap from my coffee table to the couch. I would have lead with that. Although I guess I AM leading with that but never you mind.)
Anyway, I was absolutely exhausted, as I am wont to be lately. I get up and immediately get to work nowadays, and all day long while I’m working on one thing I get notices to work on something else. When the day is finally over, I have my trainer Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and on a day I don’t, like today, I have some other “as soon as work is over” plan. Like, today, I am going to Bona the wood floor in the living room, as I had the area rug taken out to be cleaned because you’ll be stunned to hear that after two years of dog and cat action that rug has grown dingy.
It gets back tomorrow, the area rug does, so tonight is my big chance.
Oh. And Bona is a wood-floor-cleaning system that works great.
Anyway, so by about 8:00 I am usually at the lying-on-my-couch-staring-blankly part of my evening, as I find myself absolutely drained these days.
I was in that state when Lily the cat lugged her girth over to the couch, except she did not make it over the SIX INCHES that exist between table and couch, and instead was commencing to fall between the two, except she
to cling on. It was a cliffhanger. An armhanger. I had a beautiful girl hanging on my arm, literally. She was like that guy in the old silent movie who hangs from the clock. So, ALL OF HER CONSIDERABLE WEIGHT was hanging BY CLAWS off my arm.
I am sorry to tell you that I screamed, because the pain was exquisite, and she freaked out and spent much time trying to remove her claws from my arm, which by the way was even exquisiter. Then she did the thing where she waddled off huffily, ears back, and normally this would be the part of the human/cat relationship where I am following fruitlessly, saying, “I’m so SORRY, Kitty! Come here, Kitty!” but at that point I just wanted both of us dead.
Today I have a perfectly paw-shaped gouge on my arm and it hurts like Hades. Please be sure to tell me how cat things can get infected because I haven’t had billions of cats my whole life or anything.
In sum, cat for sale.
Anyway, how are you? I found yesterday’s organization tips wonderful, and was particularly enamored of Laura who sent links out her ASS. This is so great! Once I Bona the floor and have arm removed I will get started on purging books. Then I will get some dividers for closet, but I have to wait a pay period, as area-rug cleaning was pricey.
Other than that nothing is new except NOTHING stops Milhous from clawing the furniture. He doesn’t care if you clap your hands or say a sharp, “No!” Edsel gets U-shaped, but Mil cares not. He likes getting squirted. He ADORED clawing past the tape I put up.
My next idea is to drive all three cats to a field, not a feld. I’ll take Iris just on principle. Drive them all out, never have cats again. Be one of those people with a tidy home and no fur on her clothes. Delete all the cat-related pages I follow, which will mean I will have one page I follow on Kate Middleton. Who by the way, has no cats and her clothes are impeccable.
I have to go. I have 10 hours of work ahead of me and then it’s Bona time. It’s like hammer time but with no big pants.
P.S. Speaking of Lilly, the mean, angry feral mom cat ESCAPED a few days ago! She got out of the cage, out of the room with a door and out of the garage. HOW? But she did. So now they are taking care of all 8 kittens even harder than they were before. I am now speaking of my friend Lilly and not my cat Lilly. Oy.