Off with June

I came outside with Edsel this morning and it was so nice out that I doused self in Off, got the laptop, and decided to blog al fresco. How irritating am I for calling it “al fresco”?

I can hear crickets, still, as it hasn’t been dawn for that long. It hasn’t been Tony Orlando, either. I can also hear my neighbor’s air conditioner, and I wonder if she knows the little side panel in her window is falling out. I’ll have to tell her when she next lets out her dogs, She always accompanies them the whole time they’re outdoors, whereas I usually just open the back door and say, “Fly. Be free.” Although he looks back at me and wants me to come out with him, which is why I did today. He’s not an independent creature the way Tallulah was.

A train just went by. When I first moved here I noted every train and even wrote down their arrival on a pad, so I’d know the schedule. It’s not a whistle stop; it’s just a rumble that I don’t even usually hear anymore. Ned’s old apartment was at a whistle stop and any time I picture us there that train is screeching at me. Same train, by the way. I mean, my tracks lead to Ned’s old place. Small world. Wouldn’t wanna paint it.

Anyway, my most exciting news is I have new conditioner. I read about this woman-owned company called Say NOAP, and they —

OK, I’m sorry. Lily is out here playing with an acorn and she’s leaping and hopping and I did not bring phone out here to photograph so you’ll have to trust me that it’s the cutest thing you ever didn’t see, this rotund cat leaping after an acorn.

Anyway. …This is like if Snow White were blogging from the cottage.

So, this woman wanted a really, really good conditioner, like Pureology good, and she didn’t want plastic bottles so she invented these bars of shampoo and conditioner that last as long as three bottles. I ordered one this month, after I didn’t have to get Edsel’s medicines and finally had that spare $32. Yes, a bar of conditioner is $32. It smells divine. But not like Divine. Further reports as developments warrant (FRaDW).

To be fair, I’ve spent a lot more than $32 on one bottle of conditioner.

What’s the stupidest thing you spend too much money on?

Regarding Forest T. Lawn, he is doing well. Uses his litterbox beautifully, and this morning he was purrpawing my face and do you know what I think? I think his claws are trimmed, hence that he didn’t scratch me on the walk home. Someone trimmed his little claws before dumping him. Can you imagine?

He and Milhous are playing basically all the time, and twice now I’ve put him in the spare room so he will rest and not exhaust himself playing. Also, I noted he jumped atop the dryer to eat the big-cats’ food. Who knew he could get up that high?

Lily also held him down and licked him, and he was not delighted but he let her do it. Imagine being a houseguest and Totie Fields holds you down and licks you.

These and other current references coming your way if you tune into Book of June.

I gotta go. I have to shower and use my new conditioner bar. I didn’t use product last time I showered as I was in migraine and was lucky to even cleanse at all. It was basically shower, get back in bed. So I have 10th grade hair now, where it’s kind of frizzy and wavy.

Yeah, no, that’s exactly what it looks like right now, minus the Sun-In color.

I have to go for real. Get my opal necklace on and go.

Wavily,
June

63 Comments

  1. I know who Totie Fields is from her many appearances on The Mike Douglas show. My mom was a Mike Douglas fan. She was very funny. She died a long time ago. Something to do with a leg amputation or did that happen first? Anyway you made me lol. Poor Iris, she is short and squat or plush and lush which I prefer (Short and ziftig myself) . She will put Forest Lawn on blast.

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  2. I’m a frugal person in many ways. I’ll choose dermatologist approved ingredients, research what companies sell them in eco packaging, spend hours reading reviews, then get an added skin glow from feeling smug about the bargain I bought.

    I do have a ridiculous pair of fancy pyjamas. Classic silk revere set with a deep orange floral pattern on a black background. For when I need to feel elegant lounging or overdress for a sleepover.

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  3. Not irritating at all; it made me laugh. Besides al fresco did not make lol—just in my head. However you did make me truly lol re: Totie Fields. I could just picture both scenes in my wide awake mind. My laughing did disturb my chihuahua and he gave me a dirty look. Interesting about the conditioner. If I ever find a job maybe I could get some.

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  4. Super off topic, but I can’t find an email for you —
    Have you read Prairie Fires by Caroline Fraser? It won a Pulitzer, but I had never heard of it until today. I wondered what you thought of this take on Laura Ingalls Wilder’s life.

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  5. Dumping a kitty on a graveyard!! Isn’t that typical of men?! (I’m reading the Anne of Green Gables saga and I love that Cornelia character).
    Nice post, Juan-Paul

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  6. Nothing left to say, everyone said things I was thinking except the cigarette spending and would plein air be appropriate?

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  7. After moving to New England after living in Miami I needed facial hydration, like seriously. My face itched and itched, I went to Blue Mercury, they recommended an $80 serum, worked like a charm. Tried to find another one less expensive and they didn’t do the trick. I try not to use it in the summer to save $, that and I bought the Dyson blow dryer, but it’s so worth it!

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  8. Nothing I buy for me is stupid expensive because it’s for ME. But I bought my husband a full line of Clinique for Men products a few years ago for Christmas. I don’t even want to try and remember how many hundreds of dollars I spent on that stuff. Damn. Box and after box. He opened them, thanked me and never used them. Never. Then they were tossed because they got old. I’m still bitter. But good for him for using his $2.99 Vaseline. GOOD FOR HIM.

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  9. I was wondering how Iris is doing? Did they keep her for the whole two weeks?
    My Charleigh girl needs to have the surgery. She has been on methamazole for almost two years but I would rather she have the surgery. Cornell is the closest place here to have it done, but they only keep her for a few days and send her home all radiated. The website says she has to have her own litter box and be kept isolated from the other animals, etc. Not sure how I can keep her away from them without crying and scratching at the door.
    Maybe I can get my “lives alone petless” sister to foster her for a few weeks.

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  10. I have manicures and pedicures regularly but I don’t consider it a waste. I call it health care. I like Iris playing with an acorn. My cat brought in a bat last night which is not as entertaining.

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  11. One of my extravagant purchases was a suitcase that cost $$$. It stands up and has shelves like an old timey steamer trunk. My clothes stay nice and never get jumbled up and wrinkled. I have crammed a whole case of wine in there and the clothes cushioned them to travel safely. I love this suitcase so much.

    I will think about it and if I remember something else I will report back in!

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  12. I actually love your hair. It beats the hell outta my fine and wispy head of hair for sure.

    Really glad that you snatched up that kitten. I have been following a Nextdoor post here in my small town where some asshole was mad at his girlfriend, and he dumped both of her kitties in the city of Rochester. People have been helping her look for them but so far no luck. I cannot even imagine my three fur buddies roaming the streets alone.

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  13. Wow you looked like a prom queen in that photo – so pretty and photogenic. I’m glad all of the cats get along. It will be exciting for you when Iris comes home next week. My new kitten is romping with the older cats. The cat herd absorbed the fifth cat effortlessly.

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  14. Your yard is a paradise! I can only dream of the peaceful feeling of sitting out there in the early morning – maybe hearing the train rumble past! Sweet.
    Can’t wait to hear how the conditioner works! I have kept my barber’s license forever so that I can buy the products I love and can’t afford but that bar conditioner – well it sounds pretty cool.
    I splurge on a number of things – 🙂 I feel that I am worth it and won’t be here forever!

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  15. Biggest waste of money is any toy I ever bought for any child 18 months and younger because they are going to play with the paper, bow and box.
    Expensive wrapping paper is up there, too.

    I don’t consider it a waste because I loved it so much, but $30 for NARS concealer was insane. So I gave it up and now am perpetually dissatisfied with whatever concealer I am using.

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  16. Freida Frugal over here. We are spending a lot of money for my health coverage until I get MediCare (if it’s still in existence) in 20 months. I belong to two wine clubs, that’s my big splurge. It sounds like Forest is a perfect family member. Maybe we should sponsor him. “For just $2 a month, little Forest can have 3 hot meals…”

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  17. I loved Pureology shampoo, until the guy who made it sold it to Revlon (or some other big corporation) and they changed the formula. It was greasy and heavy, and then I hated it!

    I’ll be interested to hear how the shampoo and conditioner bars work.

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  18. I’m a bit of a pessimist and also my mind goes catastrophic quickly…I got an utterly sad picture in my head that the man who dumped the cat was “punishing” a family member who loved the cat very much.

    It’s not usually a great world in my head.

    But I will try to think of Ol’ Marshmallow paws chasing after acorns. I do love the joy a cat can have from an object, even if THEY have to move it themselves.

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    1. After reading Forest Lawn’s nails were clipped I also thought that someone dumped a family pet just to be mean. Forest is better off away from that family.

      I laughed out loud at Lily and the Totie Fields comparison – which is confusing because I really don’t know who is Totie Fields.

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  19. I have been using Chanel foundation for many years and do not want to ever give it up even though it is expensive. I also use Bumble and Bumble conditioner. It smells wonderful.

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    1. Whenever I’m flush, I get Chanel foundation. Otherwise, I just rock out with my rosacea out. It was that wingnut reader Kelly who said to me in a comment, “Is that rosacea?” I wonder if everyone looks at her and asks, “Is that an asshole?” Answer: yes.

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  20. I love the Totie Fields reference. I have the image stuck in my mind.

    I will spend ridiculous amounts of money on Jelly Belly jelly beans. I buy the bulk ones not the bags you can buy at the grocery store. I take my time and pick put each flavor I want and lovingly add certain amounts into the bag to make my own mix. I have paid up to $15 a pound for them but I did so willingly because I love them so much.

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  21. My vice is jewelry (shocking!). It doesn’t have to be high end super expensive stuff. My taste far surpasses my budget. I found a very nice sterling silver and cz evil eye necklace last weekend. That made me so happy. I was looking for one, a fabulous fake, for a while. I like inexpensive beeds too and bought some at the flea market last week too. It felt good to spend a little. Everyone here gets Amazon packages several times a week. Not me.
    I am in search of better styling products for my growing in from the way too short pixie cut I got in June. I found some old Garnier Fructis Pixie Play styling creme in the back of the linen closet. It works great and is cheap. I bought more expensive stuff that isn’t working that well.

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  22. OMG – your 10th grade photo is so fun and pretty. I had curly hair but I did not know it. No one told me about product and my mom likes her girls to have crazy-ass short hair. I defiantly grew my hair out before senior year of high school (before that I wore my hair in perms, and I had curly hair but sans product it was just fuzzy and I didn’t know what to do). One day I showed up to school with my hair still sort of wet and a girl in my homeroom (Melissa Green, I think was her name) said, “Do you know you have curly hair? You just need product.” It could have been a hair product commercial.

    Anyway, maybe I spent too much on perms that were not needed, oh – and my hair was boy-short or a tad longer, so they used the itty bitty perm rods and I looked like a grandma.

    I once failed to buy a pair of pants that were really marked down, and then someone else bought them and I kicked myself while NOT wearing those pants. The next time I saw something that I liked on sale, I bought it even though it wasn’t a GREAT deal. It was more money than I could afford, so I felt guilty for a while. Now I only buy expensive stuff when it is marked down super low. Still have the pricey sale pants though. I’m over it, of course. Can you tell?

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  23. I have been wanting to use a bar shampoo I just think I’d get confused in the shower and use it as soap since I won’t have my contacts in. And then a conditioner bar would really confuse things. I’d have to explain the setup to my husband too.
    I want to see cats together. We have a surplus of black cats every time you get a new cat I show my daughter and she gets interested. Ok this was a boring comment.

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    1. If I see them together I will photograph them. Currently Mil is asleep on the coffee table/ottoman thing and I’ve no idea where kitten is. I should probably go make sure he hasn’t chewed an outlet or something.

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  24. I pay too much for some makeups, the pore fressional which is over 30 bucks for less than an ounce. But lately I feel it doesn’t work as well but maybe I am just getting old. In my defense I usually ask for it for Christmas. And in quarantine I don’t do makeup too often only for video calls so I am not going through it like I usually do. I also use Biolage Matrix shampoo which is 20 bucks for the small bottle but I hate the smell so I am looking to find something new. But I have 2 or 3 of the shampoo/conditioner packs to finish before I get something new. I stock up on Black Friday where you can get the 2 pack at JCP for like 12 bucks.

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  25. Fancy chocolate is my vice. Don’t even try to give me a waxy Hershey bar. Imported is the bomb. And why so chubby?

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  26. O June, I thought you were going to tell us about your new AIR conditioner. As you might guess, I don’t spend much on hair products. I don’t even use conditioner, but I do use that expensive Suave Daily Clarifying shampoo. Ha! Actually I just spent over $30 on a concealer/highlighter at the Nordstrom sale. That’s way beyond what I usually spend on any kind of makeup. Speaking of which, how do you suppose the lipstick industry is doing these days with the mask-wearing mandates?

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  27. My ridiculous purchase is Pier 1 Imports Room Spray. $7.95 per can is outrageous but I love the smell that much.

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    1. That sounds like a bargain to me. I buy Claire Burke original in bulk (turning into my late mother-in-law; also buy pecans by the case) and it ends up being a major purchase.

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  28. Loved this post. Lily’s just fluffy. So glad the house guest is being treated well. Worst purchase ever, a Mercedes. We drive vehicles until the wheels fall off and we thought we would drive that thing a million miles. That car cost use so much money! It stranded me three times, the last time was on the way to work in a rain storm. I called my husband when I got to work, told him to come get that car he could push it over a cliff because I was finished with it. We replaced that thing with a Dodge minivan that I loved, and drive 21 years.

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  29. Honest to goodness, I didn’t even recognize you in your 10th grade picture. I thought it was a picture of the lady who invented your conditioner bar.

    Lily as Totie Fields made my day. And the vision of Forest T. Lawn playing with Milhous and Lily is sweet. Does Iris come home this Monday? How is she doing? Wonder what she will think of Forest.

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  30. Do you realize you were the envy of every high school girl ever?
    Yay for you all freshco, with the crickets and train and playing kitty and loving dog and everything.
    Move, plus day 2, busy busy busy. Where the heck is Angie and her list? I’ve a dozen things for her to do first before she does the next dozen. I’m in for the NOPE or whatever.
    Worst purchase? Being talked into reupholstering a chair in expensive fabric which it turned out I didn’t like after all and then not having enough room for it in our new place. Now I have a very expensive chair to sell and you know how well upholstered fabric chairs sell. No? Well, they don’t.
    Somebody ‘splain the opal necklace to me? I try to keep up.

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        1. Thanks for coming to my defense, Sadie. I didn’t know what an opal was when I was that young and fresh.

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  31. I can’t wait to hear a full review of the NOAP experience after you have used it a couple of times. I have been fascinated by the idea of bars for hair. I seem to feel like I am one new shampoo/conditioner/gel away from having my best hair.

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  32. Your hair looks like every actress in the forties. It was soft but frizzy if you looked close enough. I guess old Max Factor or Revlon or whoever hadn’t figured it out yet. Wait, those are makeup dudes. Who did hair care? Har Care?

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  33. Lovely post. Coot.

    Love the Tottie Fields reference. Is she still alive? Also Joanne Worley, remember her?
    I just bought a bottle of conditioner and it was $17.00 for 3 oz. It was a trial size. And you know what irks me? Paying $17 to see if I can use your product.

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  34. I’ve been curious about shampoo/conditioner bars. I’m interested to hear how it works. I always picture people rubbing a bar of soap on their head and it doesn’t seem like that can be right. My two most expensive addictions are bath bombs and candles. I’m such a stereotype. But the most ridiculous thing I ever bought was a stroller for my then puppy. My husband and I loved to take long walks and she couldn’t last very long on her tiny legs, so we bought this contraption that strapped a pet carrier in, and away we strolled. That was back when I had disposable income. In retrospect, I can’t believe I wasted that money.

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    1. I sort of held the bar in one hand and rubbed it between my hair and my other hand, if that makes sense. GodDAMMIT it smelled good.

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  35. Hey, I just edited a thing on the NOAP lady–she seems badass. I think that was a great purchase, because it’s eco-friendly and supporting women-owned business. Yeah! Whatever you need to tell yourself to justify the price. 🙃

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    1. Your morning sounds absolutely perfect! I spend way too much money on my hair. WAY too much. For instance, my trip last night to the aveda salon set me back $300. And it’s every four weeks! My hair is important and I really don’t have any other vices. I work to make sure I have good hair and spoiled cats. Now you can throw the Noap into the mix because I cannot wait to try it.

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  36. What do I spend a ridiculous amount of money on….my husbands cigarettes GRRRRR we could take a nice cruise for what he spends on smokes….OY!!!

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